It is against the regulations for a shinobi to show any weakness or emotions.
Sasuke wonders just who it was that truly died.
SasuNaru Fanfiction© written by faux nostalgia
Even consciousness ends
and turns to ash
I spin memories
of my short life
For as long as he remembered, from the day he started school to the day he learnt how to walk, he was given with piles of presents in occasions there were that existed. When he was a child, he generally received gifts from his relatives. Of course, he'd already thrown them all out by the time he was too old to play with them; especially after his parents died. His emotions, as well.
When school started and students immediately notices him the moment his steps touched the classroom, girls showered him with billion gifts of adoration, and boys offered him their mutual friendship, just to be popular.
...Utterly disgusting.
and returning to the ground
I cry in these moments foolishly,
until my voice withers
It doesn't matter what the event is, so long as they could give him 'love'. He doesn't care for he has stopped celebrating anything. The only gift he will accept more than anything is Power, and nobody in Konoha can grant him that.
He doesn't want to work on getting it little by little. He merely craves it to destroy his brother. Merely crave it to destroy the weakness inside his mind the minute he acknowledges his teammates.
They are a hindrance; and any type of components other than Power should be destroyed.
So, bit by bit, he crushed their trust and manipulated their minds. He doesn't need anybody. He doesn't need gifts to be happy. Great Power was all he need; and he got it, after paying a price.
carrying this pain
Into the
severe future...
It was then that, seven years after his betrayal and confinement within a small domicile—stripped of everything he had gained fairly and unfairly, and sentence to death if tempted assassination again—that everyone stops giving him anything.
Love, kindness, presents, trust, and acknowledgment.
Just... given up looking at him with a recognized stare.
He doesn't get out. He doesn't eat. He doesn't sleep. He doesn't communicate. Whether it is a regulation, it didn't matter. He has no use for conveying with others anymore. His reason for living is finished.
Uchiha Itachi is dead.
Uchiha Sasuke is dead.
Valentine's Day, New Year's... Christmas... events after events, and all he get is mourning. All he gets are tears of disappointment.
"What have we done to make him like this?"
"Should we have paid more attention?"
"Why, Sasuke-kun... why?"
Yet within those crowded stares of dashing hopes, there is one person that bothers with him.
watering the solitary
artificial flower
How many times do I have to scream?
A wide grin on the face, marred cheeks, and blindingly bleach-colored hair stands his way in the dark night. It's fake, but it's there. Someone who is brave enough to false a happy look in front of Uchiha 'Sasuke'. Seven years of days and nights, he communicates with the other with whatever they have and need.
"Ne, Sasuke..."—say something.
Like... a talk.
"You better sleep tonight, prick. I ain't coming back here finding you staring at nothing again."—but I still come.
Or, a touch.
"I don't wanna have to force you to sleep."—and don't keep them close forever.
And, a companion.
"Got that, Sasuke-teme?"
He doesn't need these anymore.
But Naruto does.
Naruto still thinks that if he fakes the him who he was a long time ago, Sasuke would come back. Grin, glare, and laugh like a fool. Because Naruto soughts him when he needs him.
and continues to melt
The pain intensifies,
and I return to that day
"Sasuke?"
Naruto sought him when he needs to talk to someone.
"Sasuke."
When he wants to touch and feel again.
"Where is Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke?"
But it isn't love.
"Tell me, Uchiha. Where did Sasuke go?"
Because Uchiha 'Sasuke' does not need it anymore.
Sasuke is already dead, Uzumaki.
For this, I burn.
But in every special occasions there had been for the past seven years, only Uzumaki Naruto sends him presents. Each different events, it was always the same thing.
At day time, Uzumaki Naruto is himself. He blinds the whole village with his stupid grin, the one factor that inure his heart.
"Spar with me."
At night time, his eyes fade and he looks at the ground as he hesitantly speaks. There is sadness in his voice, regardless how empty they sound. It always happens when he is with Uchiha Sasuke.
Because when Naruto talks, Uchiha does not talk back. When Naruto asks a question, Uchiha does not answer.
The thread that ties the team has broken and that is the only slim thread Naruto holds onto to keep himself alive. It is the only piece of string he has to understand that what they had a long ago was not meaningless.
"If I challenge you, would you accept?"
Naruto doesn't insult him no more, because he does not receive a comeback. And he knows that Naruto's insults are true.
"If I challenge you to another battle of death, will you dodge my strike, Sasuke?"
Day after day, words become useless and all there is are actions. Uchiha has stopped returning Naruto's touch. When he is touched on the face, he merely stares. When he is held by the hand, he does not entwine his fingers in return. He doesn't want to be alive anymore.
But if Naruto keeps on touching him, Sasuke is scared he might flinch or move. He is scared that if his hand is held again and again, longer and longer, he will respond to the warmth he has lost. But he knows this, too; that Naruto is bound to give up soon before the real Sasuke opens his eyes.
"Sasuke might not be the one that'll die."
Naruto does not cry in front of him. Nor does he try and hurt him for it for he knows Sasuke will welcome death.
"I could die, too."
carrying the pain
The cruel hearts are not saved...
But he has seen the blond break down. He has seen the familiar breaking of the heart within the wall he thought was strong enough to hold up the spirit. The breaking of someone who used to be.
Uchiha does not care, because Sasuke is gone.
"Your blade that will be in my hands will make sure of that. So, you better go to sleep now, Sasuke... teme..."
Power has taken him over. It won't be long before the rotting snakes in his soul taints his heart with their bites. But, he isn't complaining. He's already poisoned.
"Goodbye."
There is no more touch. Uzumaki Naruto leaves without a glance, fists clenched and throat constricted. Uchiha watches him with deadpan cursed red eyes. As he watches the fading shadow, all he sees is death, all he sees is fear.
This time, Sasuke closes his eyes and sleeps, hoping he does not wake up soulless again - or maybe not wake up at all.
For this, I die.
On the day of Valentine's day, the next day, Uchiha wakes up after a light tap of the sun's light through the glass. He looks at the window to see a ghostly figure that dissipate with the wind. If he looks closer, it is merely the strong wind that slaps the glass. When he stands and marches over it, Naruto's present lies on the sill, small, but significant. He already knows why it is always a flower.
He takes the rose and holds it for a long time. When held up in the sky where the sunlight blinds the whole village, there is no shine. There is only the black illumination of the dying structure. Naruto tells him that each color is a symbol for who he is and what element he is best in.
The blond does not have to try hard to find the right color for him to give him for the rest of his life.
He knows Naruto is already gone.
The sudden recognition causes him to realize that his red eyes, which clears little by little each year, no matter how slowly, finally dulls into a vacant Sharingan, forever etched in omen.
Why does he fail to heal himself again?
Uchiha does not ask why he gives him a rose. Naruto will always send him a rose every holiday he has stopped celebrating.
It was always black.
And every next day, the blonde acts as if he has never given a present.
He holds the dead rose gently, as he always does when he receives them. He opens the window wider and takes the dark head, pulling out all the petals into his palm, gently crushing them before letting them fly out the window.
There is no tears. But there is mourning. There is no desperate cry. But there is still words.
"You brought Sasuke back the moment you left... dobe."
He wonders how Naruto can sometimes be so impatient. There is never a chance for him. He is always too late for everything.
But, they are even now, as well as dead.
carrying the pain
The cruel hearts are not saved...
But Naruto can not hear him anymore. Pain is too overwhelming to feel. Hatred is too numbing to act out. Anger is too blinding to fully acknowledge. Happiness has already left before he could feel them again.
And Sasuke wonders just who it was that truly died.
Because of my cruelty, I suffer...
Because of my cruelty, I suffer...
Because of my cruelty, I suffer...
Because of my cruelty...
-
END(?)
A/N: my brain was mushed up and sentences after phrases popped out that I HAD to write them down. I don't blame you for being confused, I'm confused myself, as well. I may plan to write a sequel, if i feel like it or if my thoughts start cramming up my head again.