She's looking in the mirror
She's fixing her hair
And I touch my head to feel
What isn't there
She's humming a melody
We learned in grade school
She's so happy
And I think
This is not cool
'Cause I know the guy
She's been talking about
I have met him before
And I think
What is this beautiful, beautiful woman settling for?
It was the day. The day Sasuke and Sakura were to be married. It had been a year now since Sasuke had come back, and everyone had thought he had given up on reviving his clan, since he still hated every girl who tried to talk to him.
But he surprised everyone by proposing to Sakura. On their first date. Sakura was probably the most surprised of us all. I’m not sure if she believed it was real.
She stood in front of the full length mirror, in her beautiful white dress, with pink under skirts and red edges. She was crying, ruining her make up. She was staring at me from the mirror.
“Do you think he really loves me?” she asked.
I didn’t think I knew either. But I didn’t want to ruin her dream. Her one dream that could actually come true after so much waiting. So I smiled and nodded.
“Of course he does. Look your ruining you're make-up. Hold still.” I had said, dabbing at her wet eyes with a tissue. She had smiled back at me and I had a horrible feeling. I remember my chest had tightened and my stomach felt sick. I had just brushed it off and fixed her make-up.
“Can you hand me the hair brush? I need to fix my hair.” She had said; looking in the mirror again, still smiling, tears still in her eyes. I had to hold back tears of my own and handed the brush to her, feeling as if I was the one making the mistake.
She had started to hum. A silly little song we had learned back at the academy. One made to help us remember what the names of the flowers are and what they mean. I heard her sing a line and felt as if someone had stabbed me.
“Purple roses, love at first sight. Red roses, passionate love. Violets, faithfulness. White Tulips, forgiveness.”
I remember wondering,
Can I let her do this? Should I stop her?
But…I just let her keep fixing her hair. And the wedding and life went on.
She bends her breath
When she talks to him
I can see her features begin to blur
As she pours herself
Into the mold he made for her
It was exactly two months and five days later that I saw them again. I had been busy, I guess. I hadn’t seen them together. But, when I did see them all my old worries came back.
“Sasuke-kun, what about this one? How does this one look?” Sakura’s eager and cheerful voice reached my ears. Both of them had been in a store, Sakura was holding up two dresses made for pregnant women. I remember one had been dark blue, the other black and white.
As if she wanted to impress him. Like she had done so long ago.
I knew that she hated those colors. That she had always hoped if she ever fulfilled her dream of marrying the great Sasuke Uchiha that she could convince him to wear brighter colors. And now, she was waiting, begging, for his approval of her choices.
I remember wanting to get closer, and at the same time wanting to run away from the horrible scene. Then I had heard his answer.
“It doesn’t matter. Just hurry up, I have a meeting to get to.” His reply had been so cold, so stern, as if he was talking to an idiot. As if he rather be anywhere else then with his pregnant wife, shopping for something nice for her to wear. And I remember having the strongest urge to punch him and drag Sakura away.
She hadn’t deserved his crap. He didn’t deserve her.
But I didn’t do anything and turned away so I wouldn’t have to look at the disappointed look in her eyes any more. It sickened me when I heard her reply back and I just walked faster.
“I’m sorry, Sasuke-kun. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting. You can go if you need to. I would do anything for you Sasuke-kun.”
It hurt. And I couldn’t take anymore. So I ran away, without looking back.
And for everything he does
She has a way to rationalize
She tells me he don't mean what he do
She tells me he called to apologize
It was exactly three months and two days later that she called me. I remember her shaking voice, the tears heard over the phone, the shouts in the background.
I remember her begging me to come over. To pick her up and just get her away, take her away for a while. That she and Sasuke were having…marriage problems and that she just needed a place to stay for a couple days.
I came right over. I saw her shivering at the gates of the great Uchiha compound. She had a small bag across her shoulder, her weapons pouch tied to her leg, a trembling hand hovering over her stomach.
I didn’t say a word to her. I just helped her with her bag, and led her to my home. I remember she had leaned against me the whole way there, thanking me again and again, saying he didn’t mean to. It had been an accident. He had just been frustrated.
I had stayed silent. I remember the wound that had been made at the wedding had started to bleed a fresh, burning with rage. But she had been crying still, crying into my shoulder.
And one of us had to stay dry eyed.
That night, I settled her in and stayed with her, listening to the story, listening to her excuses for him, listening to her crying, asking me, begging me, to explain why she wasn’t has happy as she thought she would be. Asking me,
“Why doesn’t he love me? Why do I love him so much?”
I had only shaken my head, pulled her closer, and whispered that everything would be okay. That I still loved her. That I would help her through anything. That I would always be there.
Soon she had fallen asleep in my arms. I had laid her in the bed, looking back only once, before closing the door and going to sleep in my own room.
The next morning she had been gone, a small note left on her bed, thanking me for helping, telling me he had called, saying he loved her and that he needed her to come home.
I wondered if he had really said such things. Or had she just imagined it? Had she just wanted him to call so badly and say those things that she had pretended he had? Had she just left? Did she need him so much that she would crawl back to him? Even after…their marriage problems?
It had disgusted me and I had crumbled up the note, her cheerful words, and thrown it in the trash. I wished I could do the same to him. To her problems. To mine as well.
But I could only throw away that piece of paper. A meaningless piece of paper, filled with lies and stained with tears.
And he says he loves her
He says he's changing
And he can keep her warm
And so she sits there like America
Suffering through slow reform
But she'll never get back the time
And the years sneak by
One by one
She is still playing the martyr
I am still praying for revolution
And the years passed by. Time seemed to fly by. I avoided the couple every chance I got. But I could never stop myself from calling her every single night, ten o’clock on the dot every single night, knowing that was when Sasuke went to visit other people at the bar.
Sakura would tell me what he supposedly said to her. Saying he loved her. Saying that he was changing. That he was much less cold, warm in fact. He was becoming a lot more social. Saying that with every passing day, she was sure he loved her more and more. That soon, he will love her as much as she loves him.
I would hold back my comments, wanting to scream and yell at her that he doesn’t love her. He could never love her like I do. He would never love her as much as I do. That she was making it up. That he would never change. No matter how long she waited.
But I never said anything, just agreeing with her, listening with a bleeding wound to each word she said. I still called her every night, no matter what. Maybe I was making sure she was still there, still alive, see how far he was pushing her.
How much longer till she broke because of him?
I didn’t know.
And maybe it’s foolish, but I still hoped that maybe, one day, she would realize what he was doing to her, how he really saw her, how feeble her lies were.
And somehow I felt as if we are both hoping for the same thing.
The years passed by and she kept waiting for him. Waiting for him to change for her. Waiting for him to change for the wife of his children. Waiting for him to change for the clan she is helping him revive.
But I think we both know by now, it’s never going to happen.
And she still doesn't have what she deserves
But she wakes up smiling every day
She never really expected more
That's just not the way we are raised
And I say to her,
There's plenty of really great men out there'
But she doesn't hear me
She's looking in the mirror
So it has been ten years, two months, and eight days, since their wedding. Since that horrible day. She has just found out where he has been going every single night since they got married. Even with two kids. She called me over an hour ago, crying again. She had just asked me to come over and I, of course, had. She has sent the children with the nanny to the park.
She is sitting in front of a mirror again. She is staring at me through it, trying to hold back the tears that keep rolling down her cheeks. She’s ruining her make up again. She’s wearing a dark blue dress, the Uchiha symbol on the front, across her chest. Her hair is a mess.
“How could he do this to me, Ino? How could he go see…go see…Naruto all these years? Doesn’t he know I love him? Doesn’t he know I would do anything for him? Why does he go to him? Why, Ino?” she asks me again and again and I don’t know how to answer.
She still doesn’t deserve this. She deserves so much better. And the only thing he deserves is to be burned alive and stabbed through the heart. The same way I feel every time I see what new thing he has done to make her cry. I want to take her away, grab her by the hand, take the kids, and just run away with her. I have to try one last time. Try to convince her one last time.
“Sakura, there are other people out there, that would love you so much more than him.” I say softly, holding back my own tears now. But she doesn’t hear me. Or maybe she doesn’t want to hear me. I look at her face in the mirror.
But she’s not looking at me anymore. She’s still crying. She’s still looking in the mirror.
She's fixing her hair
“Sasuke-kun will be getting back soon. You better leave, Ino.”
And I do, but not without looking back once more. All I see is a trapped and heartbroken little girl, wanting to impress her crush. And when I see myself in the mirror, I swear, I almost see the same.
[Reviews - 14]
Table of Contents
- Text Size +
Chapter notes: Hi there! This Violet or A Vampires Butterfly here! Oh yes! I have been planning this fic for like...months! But I finally found time to write it and I am so happy with the result! But...hey, it's not a good fic, until I get some good reviews. *nudge nudge wink wink* This song is Fixing Her Hair by Ani Difranco. Her songs are always so perfect for Sakura! Seriously! Oh and this is totally Anti-SasuSaku, since I can't stand the couple, so yeah, read for yourself. Enjoy! With much love, A Vampires Butterfly ^.^
Chapter end notes: Oh yes! Surprise ending, no? Who did you think it was? Well...if you had look at the coupling....Anyway! Hope you liked it! Reviews are loved! With much love, A Vampires Butterfly ^.^