Sasuke opened his eyes, a hand instantly reaching out to block the powerful rays of the sun that invaded his delicate charcoal orbs. It took him a moment to realize that he wasn’t lying in his room, in-fact he wasn’t inside at all. The grass tickled at the back of the arm which was still resting on the floor beside his head, a soft breeze ruffling the leaves above him, that same wind causing his onyx hair to tickle his nose as it moved. Sitting up Sasuke looked around him, making sure no-one was about before relaxing slightly, realizing he must have fallen asleep while thinking again.
Sasuke didn’t know why he always wanted to sleep while he was alone, he guessed it’s because even though he was a boy, almost like any other, his sleep was blank, no dreams occupying it.
Shifting slightly so one knee was bent, and his left hand was resting on it while the other held his weight he looked up to the sky through the canopy of autumn leaves. To any other his face would have looked vague and blank, but if Sasuke saw his expression he would know it was calm and thoughtful. He idly wondered what had happened to him since he started training with Naruto and Sakura. Before he knew them, he wouldn’t have cared if the people around him got killed, wouldn’t have minded if they disapproved of the things he did, but now….now he did care, and it bothered him slightly.
Screwing his face up Sasuke shook his head, he still didn’t know why he cared, just that he did. Even if that pink haired girl was annoying, if the Dobe always thought he was better than he really was at everything, and even if his sensei was a perverted lump of meat, who didn’t seem to do anything but read, look bored, and punish them in evil ways.
Idly Sasuke wondered if Kakashi had a sex drive at all, because even though the teenager had seen his sensei reading those damned books all the time, he had never seen Kakashi go out with a woman, or even look at a woman for that matter. Not that he cared what the jounin did, why should he? He shrugged it off, it’s not like he was interested in what that idiot teacher of his did in his free time. He hated everything about that man, everything. Though any person would say, Sasuke hating someone is normal, which was true to some extent, he also hated Sakura, and the Dobe, but they were bearable if he ignored them…this bought him back to thinking, why the hell did he care if they got killed, there was no logic in it and Sasuke hissed something before laying back down on his back.
His thoughts inexplicably returned to his teacher.
Something about that man made him feel uneasy every time he was around, he couldn’t place what it was. Why would Sasuke feel uneasy around him? He was a perverted old man, well…not exactly old but he was still a lot older than Sasuke’s 16 year old self, but that was something he should have been used to by now. Sasuke hated feeling anything other than blank, he wasn’t used to feeling happy, or sad or…uneasy, so it was logical that he would feel pissed off about Kakashi, the man made him feel things he would prefer not to feel, Purely because Sasuke LIKED not feeling anything, because if he didn’t feel anything, he was less likely to loose a fight because he let his emotions get in the way and his life was much less complicated if he didn't have emotions to confuse and irritate him.
Opening his eyes again Sasuke growled, he wanted to just…sleep. He didn’t know why he had trouble sleeping in his bed, why he felt uncomfortable lying on the soft mattress under the warm sheets, wouldn’t any sane person love sleeping in a bed? Sasuke covered his face with his hand as he remembered just what it was about beds in general that he didn’t like, he remembered the torture, the fear, and pain associated to a simple piece of furniture. The memory went back a long way, he was a child, his parents only newly murdered…
|Sasuke screamed again as the cold blade tore at his flesh, the serrated and almost blunt edges burning as well as cutting. The man above him, his brother, smirking sadistically as he inflicted pain onto his young sibling.
He glared, twisted smile still on his face as he admired his work, sprawled out on the bed beneath where he was standing, his younger brother, Sasuke, lay in nothing but a pair of sweatpants, blood covering his chest and arms, a cut on his face from one eye to the corner of his mouth. Sasuke looked on through half open, weak eyes as his brother mused over the fact that most of the slashes wouldn’t even leave a scar. Impulsively he thrust the blade down onto Sasuke, embedding it deep into the boy’s abdomen. Now, at least, there would be a scar for his dear little brother to remember him by.
After Itachi had left, Sasuke lay on the bed, unmoving, just crying, the bread knife still sticking out of his stomach. Sasuke daren’t move, the pain was too overwhelming, he felt too hot and too cold all at once. Of course he was just a mere child at that time, not yet strengthened against the burning insistence of pain.
The only thing Sasuke can remember after that moment was vowing never to let people see him hurting again, he would never let anyone see he had emotions, in fact, he wouldn’t even let himself see his emotions.
Then the boy passed out, later awaking in a hospital bed, apparently one of the neighbors had called an ambulance and the police. Well, a worried mother who was once friends with Sasuke's parents, since the Uchiha youth lived within the ghost like compound of the Uchiha clan, a mini-village within Konoha. She had initially come to check on him, just to find him in that state.
After that Sasuke refused to talk to anyone.|
“Ever since that day…” Sasuke’s tone was just above a whisper and he glared at the floor, “I’ll never be able to sleep in such a place.”
All of a sudden a silhouette covered the sun, Sasuke put a hand up over his eyes to try and see who the shadowed person was, without even seeing the man before him he felt uneasy….he hated feeling uneasy!
“Sleep in what place?” An inquiring tone asked. The voice was deep and lazy and Sasuke could tell who it was for sure now. Letting his hand drop from where it was shielding his eyes he closed the pair of onyx orbs and folded his arms refusing to look at the man in front of him
“Go away you're bothering me.” The teens tone was clipped and final in it's shortness. Kakashi tilted his head and just sat on the floor in front of the boy, seemingly ignoring his request altogether.
“You know, why don’t you train instead of sitting here all day?” Kakashi’s visible eye looked upwards, in an expression of mixed boredom, thoughtful-ness and exasperation.
“No.” Sasuke turned his head away from the man as if dismissing him altogether. He had only graced the man with a vocal response because he thought it might make the jounin leave more quickly. //Man I hate you go away!//
Kakashi eyed the tense teen, he idly wondered why the boy always looked so dead inside, sure, he knew about what happened to the boy’s parents and all, but that couldn’t be the soul reason he was such an asshole. //Well, that was a bit rude of me perhaps. He's just up-tight.// The older man nodded to himself slightly, silently. “If you don’t train you’ll always be too tense to be a better fighter than Naruto-kun.” His visible, steel colored eye squinted in amusement, already knowing what the dark haired youths reaction would be.
Sasuke didn't disappoint his teacher, his eyebrow twitched and he opened his eyes to glare unfeeling at Kakashi, his fist balling. “I’m already better than that Dobe.” He ground out between gritted teeth.
“Ah, so you do have feelings after all” Is all Kakashi used to reply with. His one eye closing in what looked to Sasuke like revelation or something, he didn’t know, the guy was weird, it was hard to tell anything when it came to Kakashi.
“...Go Away” Sasuke closed his eyes again, inwardly cursing at the fact he had taken Kakashi’s baiting.
“Do you really want me to go?” Kakashi stared at the teenager in front of him in an almost infuriatingly calm manner.
Sasuke wondered how the older man could keep such a tone to his voice all the time, it wasn’t monotonous, just…lazy, all the damn time! “Yes.” His voice was strained with irritation as he grit out the words.
Kakashi shrugged and stood up opening up his latest adult novel. “If you don’t want to sleep at home at least stay at Naruto-kun’s house.” Then he was gone, walked off out of the clearing they were in just as quickly as he came.
Sasuke glared at the spot that Kakashi had been in just moments before. //Ugh why would I want to sleep at that idiot’s house, I don’t even like him! I don’t…like falling asleep around people.// Sasuke pulled his knees to his chest and put his heated forehead against them //Maybe I’m getting sick, I don’t feel good.// Sasuke had come to this conclusion because of the following;
A. He felt too hot for the cool weather.
B. Kakashi had left him with more of the uneasy, odd feeling in his gut than he usually did.
And
C. He was feeling as if he wanted to cry; Mostly from frustration, in other words, his emotions were getting a look-in for once. Which he didn’t like at all.
Fuck why was he such a kid still? He was 16, well on his way to being a man, yet he knew nothing about anything other than his hatred of most living things and his need to fight and argue constantly, with anyone who was willing to compete. Sasuke grit his teeth, his knuckles turning white as his hands clenched together harder.
Standing up, Sasuke made his way out of the clearing, mind set on finding someone to take his mind out of its thoughtful wanderings. The cool breeze was still whispering at the delicate strands of hair around his face and he moved his headband up to the top of his head, effectively keeping the strands out of his face. He didn’t care if it made his already femme features seem more girly. No one was around here to see it anyway, and if they did, and dared say anything he would put them in their place, you know, teach them to keep their comments to themselves. Not that anyone would dare say anything within hearing distance, he was Uchiha Sasuke after all.
Moving between trees and bushes Sasuke easily made his way out and back to the village. As usual people stared at him, you know, gave him those sparkly eyed gazes hoping to catch his attention, most of the girls even went as far as to stick their chests out to make their breasts look bigger in an attempt to entice Sasuke to come and talk with them. It was always the same, whether Sasuke actually made eye contact or not, all the girls of the village were flirtatious to a fault, except perhaps Hinata. Sasuke found that to be one of the most annoying things. That, he guessed, was the main reason he didn’t despise every waking moment around Naruto, and even that Sakura girl, neither of them seemed to flirt with him, well, that Sakura did, but Sasuke figured she was too dense to actually pull off the whole ‘if I stick my chest out this far, and my butt out this far he’s got to look at me’ act. Then again, Sakura had no chest anyway, so might as well be a boy.
Sasuke shoved his hands deep into his pockets eyes looking forward but not really focused on anything in particular. He walked past the ramen shop and heard a familiar voice shouting as usual, something about how unfair Iruka-sensei was being for not buying him a third bowl of ramen. Then Sasuke rolled his eyes as he felt a soft hand on his arm and a friendly female voice speaking to him.
“Hello Sasuke-kun! Are you here to get some lunch? If you are, can you please have lunch with me?” Sakura clung to the sleeve of his pale blue shirt, eyes looking hopeful.
“…No, actually, I think I lost my apatite” His voice void of anything.
Sakura stared at him and her eyes looked sad as she started to frown. “But-“
“I said I’m not hungry, go and eat on your own, you’re annoying.” With that Sasuke started walking again, pulling out of Sakura’s grip when he realized the girl was still holding onto his arm.
He could faintly hear Naruto shouting something at him then him and Sakura talking before going into the ramen shop and eating together, again.
Before long, Sasuke’s feet had carried him to the place he should call home, a large-ish building in the middle of the desolate Uchiha district, which looked imposing and almost haunted. Sasuke entered his place of residence and threw himself on the sofa, a cloud of dust rising up to fill the air for a moment before settling once again. It didn’t bother Sasuke really, he knew there would be dust, he spent very little time at home, only going in when it was snowing outside, even when it rained he rarely took shelter there. Sasuke didn’t really know why he was here right now. He pondered getting up and leaving again for a moment, but decided against it. The plush cushions of the couch felt nice against his back, it made a nice change from sleeping on the floor. Sasuke felt his eyelids drooping slightly. But unlike his earlier nap, which had been relaxed, he was tense all over.
He would probably wake up with an ache of some kind from sleeping in such a position, draped half over the couch, and tense.
{He could feel hands all over him, caressing his skin, his neck, jaw, shoulders, his chest and stomach. They were so soft and calm, slowly moving, no haste at all in their actions. Sasuke couldn’t see who the hands belonged to, he could hardly keep his eyes open at all, and the feeling was so relaxing. Then something was caressing his neck, in a different way, and Sasuke could feel his skin getting hot, what was that? Sasuke couldn’t open his eyes, something was stopping him from doing so, and he shuddered as those same soft hands caressed lower until they were touching him in a place that had never before been touched. Sasuke felt like he couldn’t breathe, taking in breaths faster and shallower as the lips against his neck and the hand on his groin caressed him…}
“Sasu…”
{The hand stayed above his clothes, the thick fabric of his usual white denim shorts rumpling slightly as the touch aroused him further…}
“Sasuke-teme!”
{The hand on his shoulder clung to him with a strong grip shaking him…}
“TEME!! SASUKE!!”
Sasuke gasped and started awake, sitting up quickly curling himself into an almost fetal position on the old worn couch. Knees pressed tightly against his chest and arms wrapped around them holding them firmly in place, his shorts feeling extremely uncomfortable. He looked up, his hair slightly mussed, his headband still holding most of it out of his sleep filled eyes. Which were now invaded with the presence of a short, annoying, blond boy.
Naruto Put his hands on his hips a glare on his face “You made Sakura really upset you know! Asshole!”
Sasuke blinked, his mind now fully aware of his surroundings and his mask of cool emotionless-ness back in place on his delicate facial features “It’s her fault that she’s emotional, not mine.”
Naruto glared more, looking down upon Sasuke who hadn’t even noticed the pink haired girl standing behind the couch by the door. Naruto pointed a finger at Sasuke the other hand still fisted against his hip “How could you tell her she put you off your appetite!?”
Sasuke glared right back “It wasn’t Sakura who put me off my food, it was Kakashi-sensei. Now get out.”
Really sasuke didn’t see the point in indulging Naruto in his reasons for not wanting to eat, but if it would get rid of him faster he would say anything, it just so happened that this time he was telling the truth. Without further conversation or warning Sasuke lifted himself from the couch, adjusting his baggy blue t-shirt to fall conveniently over his lower region and pushed Naruto out of the door, only then noticing Sakura. He saw her upset expression and slight confusion too, mixed in with the permanent blush she always seemed to wear around him. He didn’t apologize to her though, he just slammed the door in their faces sliding down the cool wooden surface.
//what the fuck? //
Now he was alone his mind came back to his bigger problem, after all things like Sakura getting upset and Naruto defending her happened all the time, but this… He lifted the hem of his shirt and stared at the tight fabric covering his hardness, was something new altogether. For one thing Sasuke could have sworn he had dreamed, not only that but dreamed about SEX. For crying out loud what the hell was wrong with him!?
Groaning sasuke put his hand over his face and leaned his head back against the door until his raven strands touched the wood. //Ah shit! If it’s like this now, was it like it when I was asleep? did Naruto and Sakura see it!? Shit! Shit shit shit! // he was loosing his cool, though his outward appearance wouldn't show it.
The only thing that topped it all off was the fact that Sasuke thought it should have gone away by now, any time before when his body had inconveniently decided to liven up on him it had gone within a minute or two, that was when he was 14 and going through puberty, though at that time Naruto had the same problem so neither of them said any snide remarks to each other. Though now that he was 16 and his body wasn’t going through puberty anymore Sasuke was finding it quite confusing that it just wouldn’t go away already!
He stood up, still letting the door support his weight, his legs felt a little shaky and ‘down there’ was starting to feel quite painful. “Fuck” He covered it with his hand, somewhat embarrassed by the whole situation even though he was alone, the tiny bit of contact made him shudder and he took his hand away quickly.
Sasuke didn’t feel well at all, his body felt hot all over, his vision wasn’t normal and though it wasn’t a sickness in his pants, it wasn’t helping his situation either. Stumbling away from the door in a very un-Sasuke like motion he flopped stomach down onto the couch again. He grabbed a pillow and buried his head into it groaning. //Why did it have to happen, its so...distracting! Arg!// That was it, Sasuke wanted to get rid of it, mainly because it was distracting him and he couldn’t go out and spar with it showing, but also because it was starting to feel uncomfortably painful, now Sasuke didn’t mind a bit of pain, but this type was just too annoying for him.
So the youth decided to think of something which he hated, often he had heard the other boys talking about this happening to them, and all they had to do to get rid of it, was think of something they really disliked.
The first thing that popped into his head was Naruto, however Naruto had just been there shouting in his face and that hadn’t helped it go away. Then there was Sakura, but that didn’t work either. Getting frustrated Sasuke turned to lie on his side, facing the room from his position on the couch. There was only one thing he could think of that made him angrier than Naruto or Sakura at this point in time and that was Kakashi. So Sasuke focused his thoughts on his sensei, and on how annoyingly laid back he was, how he always punished them in stupid but evil ways and how his hands looked as the grasped the book he was always carrying around. The hands with long slender but still manly fingers, strong hands that were so talented in whatever they did. Sasuke stopped breathing, his eyes wide; they were the hands that were touching him in his dreams, those same neat fingernails on slender but strong fingers…
“Shit!” Now instead of making it go away it just made it more painful. Sasuke was slightly disturbed by the whole thing to say the least. Was the uneasy feeling he felt around his teacher because he lusted for him? Is that it? It couldn’t be though, because Kakashi annoyed Sasuke a lot more than anyone else, he was confused and this caused him to place both his hands on his head, covering his face.
Was he going to give in? Shifting again he moved back onto his stomach and swore under his breath, Sasuke, the one who never gave in to anything let a frustrated sigh escape his lips as he shoved a hand between himself and the sofa unzipping his pants. He couldn’t believe he was going to do this. However he was adamant that he wouldn’t enjoy it one bit.
As the pressure on his lower region eased slightly he let out a deep breath, relieved. Sasuke slipped his left hand into his boxers and grasped himself closing one eye as he did so because of the new sensation, before this his erections went away with no problems, so why it decided to act up today was beyond him altogether. Taking a calming breath Sasuke opened both eyes again and stared straight forwards at the wall across the room, he was laying on his stomach but he could still move his arm and his head was resting on its side.
As he started to move his hand over his rigid member his expression didn’t change at all, his face was still blank, in reality if Sasuke wasn’t such an uptight person he would probably be blushing at doing something like this, even if there was no-one around to see it. His breathing quickened ever so slightly but apart from that the only indication of what he was doing was the small movements his hand was causing. He let his hand roughly grip as it neared the tip of his shaft then loosened ever so slightly as it made its way back down the length, repeating this motion until he felt his groin tightening, tightening the muscles in his abdomen without meaning to as he curled on himself a little. His hips bucked slightly as he released, body jerking with each spasm of his orgasm one charcoal orb closing against the release of pressure and the tingling sensations that took over his body for a moment, the sensations that were centered in his groin but spread out through his veins like fire.
Sasuke lay there motionless for a few moments regaining his senses. Hoisting himself up Sasuke pulled his hand out of his pants and zipped them up, staring at the sticky mess on his hand, the hem of his t-shirt and the sofa. “Ugh...” With a disgusted face Sasuke wiped his hand and the sofa off with his shirt which he then removed and threw across the room before placing his face in his hand.
Meanwhile Kakashi jumped from the tree beside Sasuke’s house.
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Table of Contents
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Chapter notes: Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the Naruto Characters >_> I’m just borrowing them for my own…sick little minds needs! Kekekekeke~
This is the first chapter in a multi-chapter story, and don't use the Sasuke solo scene as a basis for all the smut that will be in this story, it was meant to be vague and non-descript because that's how Sasuke feels about it at this point in time. Don't worry the smut get's better after this~ ^_~
//Thinking//
“Speaking”
{Dreaming}
|Flashback|
Yeah I know…useless stuff at the top here eh?