Disclaimer: I do not own the anime/manga; Naruto, nor any of its characters (normally people have something smart/witty/funny thing to say here but I don’t :P).
A/N: After I read the whole betrayal incident, I was depressed for a month. It might have to do with the fact that Sasuke is my favourite character and I that I am also a huge SasuNaru fan (read my profile to get an idea how obsessed I am of them). I couldn’t believe what Sasuke had done, but in a way it wasn’t entirely his fault. I am now completely over it. However, a lot of people in the Naruto fandom have come to hate Sasuke because of his betrayal and I’m upset over that. This is what I think Sasuke was thinking when he was fighting Naruto; I hope this fanfiction will bring more understanding to his character (at least from my interpretation).
Right, so the format is all messed up. I don't know how to make it better (can't use html). It looks way nicer on Word (for one, the quotes are 'scattered' across the page). My FF.net version is slighty better (its story ID is 2887924) Anyways, I'll let you read now.
*Note: the quotes come from unofficially translated manga, so they might be a little off.
The steady rhythmic sounds beat against the window pane, creating a haunting music that slowly seeps into my mind. It harmonizes with the same sad melody of those past memories.
pit pat pit pat pit pat pit
pat pit pat pit pat pit
It’s raining…
My eyes traveled to the small window in this room. Drops of water clings to the glass and glows with the light of the moon, contrasting greatly against the night sky. The raindrops beat against the glass as the memories slowly surface.
FLASH OF LIGHTNING
“Father! Mother!”
“Brother…why…”
“Foolish little brother”
“It was essential…”
“to test my strength.”
“I’ll let you live…”
“You can awaken…”
“but there is a requirement...”
“You must kill your closest friend.”
“If you want to defeat me…
curse me! Hate me!”
RUMBLE OF THUNDER
I clutch my head in a futile attempt to block the voice, the rain beats down harder as waves of pain and sorrow wash over me, then the vile bitterness starts to boil inside me…all directed at him.
That day it had rained as well.
I stared at the white chalk line that outlined
my parents bodies while listening to the rain.
Were the heavens crying for me?
I never forgot what he said to me, after that day I had fed myself on the only thing he left me; hate.
Those days of loneliness I filled with both physical and mental training, I grew cold and emotionless; the only thing on my mind was revenge. I would go to any lengths to get enough power to defeat him. I would do anything.
Then I met…you.
The first time I saw you, you were alone...
just like me.
Something drew me to you.
Maybe it was your eyes; they were like my own,
full of loneliness and sorrow.
But I was scared to approach you,
afraid to get close to someone.
After we joined into teams, I unwillingly discovered comradeship; the thing that was supposed to slow me down. Working the team (and you) came so easily, it was almost natural. While being with you, I felt a great weight lift off my shoulders; you somehow dispelled the darkness within me. I came to care for you so much that I nearly sacrificed my life for you.
I didn’t want to loose any more precious people…
FLASH OF LIGHTNING
“What! Aiming for Naruto?”
“Please let me make it in time!”
“Sasuke, you…why did you…”
“What’s with that face…idiot…”
“I never asked for your help!" “I don’t know…”
“my body just moved on its own…”
”I told myself I wouldn’t die…”
“don’t die also.”
RUMBLE OF THUNDER
I wasn’t sure what had happened, or how it happened. Something urged me to protect you. Without thinking of the consequences, I moved in front to block the attacks.
The moment before I blacked out
It seemed all my worries, my fears,
my anger, my pain, my hate
had gone away…
I was only left with warmth.
After I was revived, I gained hope. Hope for companionship, hope that I will no longer have to suffer loneliness. Hope for a future…
In the end it was a useless hope
Everything took a different course.
The curse seal was the first step and the reappearance of him was the next.
The steps that would lead me on a different path from you.
The moment I saw him, all the vile, bitter emotions that had taken so long to bury, all burst out again. The uncontrollable anger and hate. Being flung aside by him left me feeling frustrated and helpless, I wanted to scream at myself for being so weak.
I was reminded what I haven’t accomplished yet, and what I had to do. I could never escape it.
I no longer cared for anything else; all I wanted was to have the power to kill him. I went to find the man that could give that power.
But you came after me…
FLASH OF LIGHTNING
“My childish games with you are over...”
“I have my own path.”
“Don’t get in my way.”
“I’m going to Orochimaru.”
“You’ll get killed!”
“I don’t care.”
“all I want is to accomplish my goal.”
“…our fight was interrupted.”
“I won’t let you go…I’ll stop you!”
“I’m serious…I intend to kill you.”
RUMBLE OF THUNDER
I was angry.
Angry at you for getting stronger, angry at you for trying to stop me, angry that no one understood me, angry at myself for being weak.
I wanted power, I needed power.
And if killing you could get me that power, then I would do it.
Nothing else mattered anymore.
FLASH OF LIGHTNING
“…everything we did together, was it all meaningless to you!?”
“No…it was not meaningless…”
“to me, you have become my closest friend.”
“That is why it’s worth killing you.”
“You’re naïve, aren’t you?”
“Even if I have to break your bones…”
“I will stop you!”
“Shut up!”
“What the hell do you understand about me!?!”
“You had nothing in the first place!”
RUMBLE OF THUNDER
While you might understand my loneliness, you will never understand my grief
because…you never had a family in the first place.
You don’t understand what it was like to watch them die,
to see him standing over their bloodied bodies.
To see those blood-thirsty eyes.
You don’t understand…
and I was disappointed in you.
So our fight continued…
Me fighting for my goal,
and you, fighting to bring me back.
Our powers collided
as much as our hearts did.
Remember when I told you that if you and your opponent are first class ninjas, you can read inside their minds when your fists meet?
In that very last collision…
I got a glimpse of your mind.
Just as our hands collided together,
I felt overwhelming emotions coming from you,
but it was familiar…
because…
it was the same emotion I felt
when he betrayed our clan,
our family,
and me.
I was thrown back from the sheer force of those feelings.
I think you delved into my mind too for you were thrown back as well, rolling on the ground before coming to a stop on your back.
It took me forever to get to where you were laid.
I stood over you, knowing that this was my chance to kill you to get that power.
But I couldn’t do it.
My whole body was paralyzed from just one look of your face.
That face filled with grieving betrayal.
I couldn’t do it.
Because now…
You were like me,
you understood me, and I…
I…finally understood you.
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words won’t come out. I coughed up blood and bile instead.
I couldn’t find words to express how I felt,
I was overcome with regret.
I had hurt you in the worst possible way,
just like he had hurt me.
I wanted to say sorry…
That you might somehow, someway, someday
find it in your broken heart to forgive my actions.
I got up to leave.
I can never return now, while others might forgive me. I won’t forgive myself.
This is the only path I can take now, and with each step I get farther away from you.
Every single step is so hard to take.
I’m sorry it had to be this way, my comrade, my friend, my brother.
I will continue to walk down this path that has been created for me.
I can only hope you will never take the same path.
There are people waiting for you, you’re not alone anymore.
Go and walk into the sunshine,
for there is a rainbow waiting for you.
Be happy…
Naruto.
pit pat pit pat pit pat pit
pat pit pat pit pat pit
From my eyes come the salty tears that have been unshed since I was a child. It blends in with the raindrops on my face, making trails of salty water. They slowly trickle downwards, towards my torn and blackened heart.
The steady rhythmic sounds beat against the window pane, creating a haunting music that harmonizes with the same sad melody of those buried memories.
It’s raining…
a rain of tears.
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