Reviews For Decisive-arrangement or Inevitable-fate?
Name: Maia Nishikawa (Signed) · Date: 15/09/13 - 10:14 pm · For: Chapter 2: Latent Resentment
props for using zodiac signs :) kakashi was the character that got me into astrology and I've been studying it constantly going on eight years ever since
Name: Rowanrose (Signed) · Date: 26/03/12 - 01:42 pm · For: Chapter 2: Latent Resentment
I see... I'm thinking that her father proposed the whole alliance thing simply for his daughter! That's something! I like that; it's made more ironic by the fact that she's mad at her dad for treating her like a gift.
I like it! Please update soon! ^^
Author's Response: YES! Thank you for noticing the irony! I think it adds more drama to the story as well (to her side of the story).
Name: Rowanrose (Signed) · Date: 26/03/12 - 01:39 pm · For: Chapter 1: The Arrangement
How interesting. The story line is pretty original, and I look forward to seeing Kakashi's reaction! Although perhaps a reread of the chapter would've made it a bit more polished, I liked it.
Onwards!
Author's Response: Thank you!!! and sorry for the grammar mistakes. lol I was in such a rush :P I will keep that in mind for later chapters!
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 25/03/12 - 07:44 pm · For: Chapter 2: Latent Resentment
Your description has definitely gotten better! Everything you talked about was very beautiful. Now you just need to work on dialogue; a lot of the conversations that went on in this didn't seem to flow as well. Remember to proofread, especially dialogue-write it in a way that seems natural to you.
Other than that, this was pretty good. I look forward to reading more.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'll try my best.
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 24/03/12 - 06:04 am · For: Chapter 1: The Arrangement
When I read the summary, I figured this would be an interesting idea. Arranged marriages are interesting yet also realistic in a time period such as this.
However, I don't think you introduced the idea in this chapter very well. The fact that the Light Village requested a specific person with those specific attributes is not very realistic. Unless the Light Village worships the zodiac or something such like that, you need to give better details for an arranged marriage. It was a very weak way to ask for a jounin husband for the daughter of a feudal lord.
Another issue is your description. There reLly was none. The only time I saw good elaboration was when Tsunade was dreaming about sake. This means that you do have potential to add flair to your writing. Try it, it gives more life to your writing. Setting up the scenes, describing characters, it really helps the reader to be engulfed in the story.
I want to see you improve in this story because I think you have the potential to make this better. I look forward to seeing where this goes. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I really appreciated it! And yah, the Lights Village that I made up do worship zodiac for a specific reason, but I didn't want to just plainly put it out there. I want readers to continue to read and find out why. I will eventually reveal it when the fuedal lord himself comes to Konoha. The fist chapter is to set the scene to my story.