My Big Fat Hyuuga Wedding
Chapter Four – The Father of the Bride
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“Eh, remember Naruto, Hiashi-dono is a man who is very well respected. He gives respect, therefore expects in return.”
“In other words, don’t act like your dobe-self and be polite.”
“Naruto-jisan, what’s a ‘dobe’…?”
“And for once in your life, don’t mention ramen during the conversation, dumbass.”
As Hinata sat inside the private room her father was resting in, the two alone (because Hanabi went to be the good-er daughter and get her father some decent food—everyone knows hospital food sucks—and Neji went with her), the Uchiha family was prepping their dear friend Naruto on how to properly talk to the Hyuuga clan leader while standing outside his room.
“And don’t stutter, it’s a sign of weakness and fear,” Sasuke added curtly.
Naruto frowned. Why was Sasuke a professional at talking to fathers…?
“Try to compliment him, Naruto,” Sakura suggested. “Just be careful that you don’t look like you’re trying too hard.”
“And give him chocolates!” the child included. “Naruto-jisan, everyone loves chocolate! I—It’s like… Like ramen!”
‘I love this kid,’ Naruto thought warmly.
“No, that will make him think you’re bribing him into giving you his daughter,” debated Sasuke. “And by the way, did you even ask him if you could propose to Hinata?”
“No…”
The Uchiha family sighed.
“You idiot.”
“Ugh, Naruto!”
“Silly jisan!”
Naruto deepened the frown on his face. “Why does it matter?”
“Its only common courtesy!” Sakura informed. “And Hiashi-dono is very old-fashioned about these things. How could you forget to ask?!”
The Rokudaime scratched his head in embarrassment. “Well, you know, the first time I was going to propose was when we were on a mission together, but I did forget the ring at home…”
Sasuke sighed. “Well try to tell him what you have to offer. You have no clan, you’re merely a jounin—”
‘ANBU-CAPTAIN!’ he roared mentally. Well Sasuke knew that fact as well, considering he too had the same position, but playing ANBU was a secret thing that no one was supposed to know, remember?
“—You live in a tiny apartment, and you were the student of Konoha’s two biggest perverts.”
Naruto looked thoughtful. “Well I’m gonna be officially proclaimed as Rokudaime Hokage in a week and a half!” He gave them a peace sign. “Psh, Rokudaime tops all clan leaders combined!”
His nephew gaped at him with a newfound respect (oh boy) and looked over to father. “Otousan, I want to be Hokage!”
Sasuke grunted and glared at Naruto.
Sakura let out a groan. “Whatever, Naruto, just make sure you don’t put too much stress on Hiashi-dono. His condition might be stable, but we don’t want him to end up with another heart attack because of stress.”
“Of course, Sakura-chan!”
The door to Hiashi’s room opened up slightly and Hinata stepped out, slowly closing it behind her. She was rather red looking and there was some sweat on her forehead.
She looked nervous as hell.
“Um, Naruto-kun, my Otousama wants to talk to you…”
Naruto nodded and gulped.
“Okay.”
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“Uzumaki-san.”
Naruto swallowed nervously, clutching what was in his lap even tighter, as he dug his bottom deeper into the plastic chair, wanting to get as far away from the Hyuuga as he possibly could.
“Y—Yes, Hiashi-dono…?”
“Do explain why the heir to the Uchiha clan is sitting in your lap when he should be with his parents.”
Satoshi was merely his shield.
Naruto often used the boy around Sasuke or Tsunade to keep them from yelling at him, threatening him, and/or inflicting bodily harm.
“Naruto-jisan said he would by me chocolate and ramen if I came with him to see you,” Satoshi explained happily. “I like ramen, just like Naruto-jisan! My Naruto-jisan is very, very funny! My Okaasan said he did his Sexy Jutsu at her wedding and pretended to be a girl.”
‘KILL ME NOW’ Naruto moaned in his thoughts.
“Ne, Hiashi-jiisama—”
Uh-oh…
“—When I grow up, I don’t want to be a clan leader,” he announced, wrinkling his nose. “I want to be the Hokage—”
In his mind, Naruto was picturing the way Sasuke was going to kill him for influencing his heir so damn much.
“—Like Naruto-jisan!” Satoshi nodded his head rapidly. “Naruto-jisan is going to be Rokudaime next week!”
“Hokage?” Hiashi repeated.
“Yep! Naruto-jisan is going to become the Rokudaime Hokage! Then I’m gonna be the Nanadaime Hokage!”
“Hm,” breathed Hiashi. “Satoshi-kun, I believe your parents are waiting for you outside.”
Naruto’s eyes widened. ‘No, my shield—’
“Okay!” the boy yelled as he hopped out of Naruto’s oddly tight hold on him and ran out.
Naruto never felt so scared when he realized it was just the two of them in the room.
Together.
Alone.
With. No. Shield.
“Um…”
“Uzumaki-san, I understand that you want to marry my daughter,” Hiashi began slowly.
He nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“Before you proposed to her, were you aware of how it is customary to ask my permission for her hand in marriage?”
“No, sir.”
“I see.” Hiashi scratched his chin and Naruto sat frozen. “What makes you think that you are worthy of becoming my daughter’s husband?”
“I—I…”
Inwardly, Naruto slapped himself, remembering Sasuke’s words of not stuttering because doing so would make him look weak. Naruto cleared his throat and told himself over and over again that damnit he was confident.
“Like my godchild, you know, the heir to Uchiha clan who would be entrusted to one such as I if by the unlikely chance that I actually let anything happen to Sasuke or Sakura because everyone knows that I am loyal to them and would never let them get hurt—” (Damnit, he was bragging…) “—Well, as he said, Tsunade-sama—” (Sakura’s voice boomed in his mind, yelling respect, over and over again) “—shall be announcing that I am Rokudaime…”
“Yes, I have heard,” was the Hyuuga’s curt reply. “And if you think that telling me of your accomplishments are going to win my over then do think again.”
“Ne, Hiashi-dono, thinking isn’t really my strong suit,” Naruto tried to joke.
He was trying to lighten up the mood!
Hiashi narrowed his eyes a fraction. “Then how do you expect to be a good Hokage?”
“Huh…?” Naruto gape at him dumbly. “I—I can think when I have to! See, only when it’s important—”
“Are you implying that I am not important?” interrogated the Hyuuga.
“What?! Eh, no, not at all—”
“I do not want someone who doesn’t feel that I am important to be marrying my firstborn daughter.”
Something snapped and Naruto stood up abruptly, knocking over the chair he was on. Hiashi merely raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “That is it! I don’t need you interrogating me! I love Hinata-chan and Hinata-chan loves me! So I will marry Hinata-chan whether you like it or not!”
Hiashi opened his mouth to speak but found no words coming out (and oh god, no, it was not because he was in awe or speechless or anything).
But Naruto thought he was.
The Uzumaki grinned triumphantly, having thought he had gotten through to his soon-to-be father-in-law.
But then…
…Hiashi clutched his chest.
…And cried out in pain.
…And fell unconscious.
Oh shit.
His eyes widened.
“SHIT! SAKURA-CHAN, COME QUICK!”
The door flew open and the pregnant lady ran over to Hiashi, doing a bunch of medical things Naruto was unsure of while Sasuke came and dragged him out of the room.
Naruto groaned, hitting his head against the wall repeatedly.
He definitely wasn’t getting Hiashi’s blessings now.
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TBC