The Lies that Drive Us All
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Chapter 2: Spare Me
“Sasuke! Move your butt!” Atsuki yelled in the middle of the street, causing the boy in question to blush. It appeared that it was her favorite pastime to find things that embarrassed him to the point where he looked like a tomato with black hair. He was only a hundred feet away, and he was catching up, so it was beyond him why she should feel the need to raise her voice to the point where passers-by were cringing. Growling to himself, and trying to banish the color from his cheeks, he proceeded up the street toward the girl, if for no other reason than to give her a good set down.
He had only been with them a month, but for some reason, Suiru and Atsuki already treated him like family. Daisuke…he was different. Polite, gentle, and hospitable, yes, but he never really opened up to Sasuke the way the girls did. Not that the Uchiha had ever asked them to…but Atsuki just seemed to find another big brother to aggravate in him, and Suiru was actually a decent conversational companion. Family. He closed his eyes for a moment, just to shake off the thought that he might ever consider these people family.
Sasuke had a family. They were the ghosts that haunted him at night, in his dreams. They grabbed him, pulled him under, drowning him in the past once again, never letting him really live in the present. No, he would not mourn for himself. His life had one purpose, and it was not to live for his own selfish ends. Vengeance was noble, and he would not be distracted from it by a blockhead of a child, a mildly companionable apothecary, and…Daisuke.
As soon as he caught up to Atsuki, he was being dragged down the street. Her small hand clamped down on his arm, nails biting down even through the thick black fabric of his overcoat. His new clothing, purchased for him by Suiru, was the first reason why he decided that the apothecary would be the most bearable of the three. The girl seemed to have a firm grasp on practicality and functionality, and the colors she chose were actually to his taste. He wore a series of three shirts, the first being of black mesh, the second a long-sleeved dark blue shirt with a high collar, and the third was a dark blue wool sweater. Pants of the same color and a dark red jacket finished off what was probably the warmest set of clothes he had ever owned.
They had left Amarna nearly three weeks before, opting to wander around the northern reaches of the Lightening Country. The area they found themselves in now was the only dry spot of land for miles. Mojeņo Daro was a village on an island, in the middle of an enormous lake. Sasuke felt exposed here. If he were to be attacked, or if Orochimaru’s men were to find him, he would not be able to run. He tried not to think of that, though. Right now, especially, since he was being hauled down the street, jostling people unintentionally, the girl holding him babbling on about something.
“…And you know we have to be there, Sasuke. It’s his birthday…” Sasuke nearly tripped. It was Daisuke’s birthday? Under normal circumstances, he ignored the anniversary of his own birth, but this was slightly different. Knowing so little of the other boy caused the young Uchiha to be mildly curious about his past. How old was he? Where did he come from? Why were they wandering? Were they running from something, like he was? His thoughts were abruptly jarred away from this area as Atsuki stopped in the middle of the street. She turned to him, eyes narrowing. “Did you get him a present, Sasuke?”
First, he didn’t know what to say. He had not, for a very long time, purchased a gift for anyone. Besides, “I don’t have any money, Atsuki-chan.”
Laughing, she produced a wallet, and pulled a couple of bills from it. Shoving them into his hand, she said, “Meet us at the inn when you’re done. But don’t be late! It’s going to be at sundown, and Suiru convinced the owner’s wife to let her use the kitchen. She’s making a cake!” Sasuke’s nose wrinkled. He didn’t like sweets. Before he could protest, however, Atsuki had disappeared into the crowd. He then walked in the opposite direction from the inn, and growled to himself. Why did he have to get the bastard a present?
It wasn’t as if they were friends. As the days passed, Daisuke became more and more wrapped up in his own thoughts, and spoke less to anyone, including Sasuke. For three days now, he had not even said as much as hello or good night. Walking, deep in thought, he did not realize how far out he had gone from the inn. Sasuke found himself down by the docks, watching the sun dip down toward the water. Large men ran every which way, unloading cargo, shouting to and laughing with one another.
Finally, when the sun was nearly set, he turned on his heel, making toward the inn. When he was nearly there, Sasuke spotted a small shop, selling hats, scarves, and gloves. Stopping to look a few of these items over, he realized that Daisuke’s leather gloves that he wore—even indoors in the warmth of the common room of the inn—were ragged and needed replacing. After some searching, he found a pair of dark red leather gloves that looked to be about the right size. The shopkeeper let him have them, as well as a black hat and scarf for one of the bills in his hand.
He then rushed off to the inn. It wasn’t so much that he was anxious, but Sasuke somehow felt that there was something that he was going to learn tonight. Perhaps Daisuke would tell him what he wanted to know? That would be more than he could or should hope for. So he resigned himself to just hoping that Atsuki didn’t embarrass him, or herself, for that matter. When he pushed open the door, he was confronted with a strange picture.
Daisuke sat at one of the tables in the corner, his back to the wall, and was staring at a three-layered cake with pale blue icing. The candles on the top of the dessert were lit, and he seemed mesmerized by them. Atsuki and Suiru stood by, watching the seated youth with worried expressions. When the door clicked shut, Atsuki glanced over at Sasuke, and frowned. Mouthing to him, she said, “You’re late!” Making an apologetic face, he stepped closer to the table.
Now, there was something of a dilemma for Sasuke. How did one give a gift? Most times, there was a bit of fanfare, yes? Sasuke wasn’t one for elaborate presentation. Instead, he simply sat down next to the silent birthday boy; quietly laying his gifts in front of him, and waited. Daisuke was clutching the table edge, slender fingers in a white-knuckled grip on the oak planks. The calm expression on his face was obviously not any indication of what was going on inside that blue-haired head. Sasuke could see that in his eyes. There was a kind of anguish behind them, one that he had never seen in anyone’s eyes but his own.
His jaw fell open at the sudden realization that Daisuke was not, as he first supposed, like Naruto. The blonde idiot wore his emotions on his sleeve, letting every hurt, hate, and care show through. No…if there was anyone Daisuke reminded him of, Sasuke would have had to say that at that moment, he was reminded of himself. It was almost painful to look at him, and see the way he stared at the candles on his cake. He could only imagine what Daisuke was thinking, but from the look in his eyes, he was being reminded of something that was beyond painful.
As the girls watched on in apprehension, Sasuke reached out a hand. His fingers closed gently on the older boy’s wrist, feeling tendons and muscles being strained. Faster than even his Sharingan would have been able to see, Sasuke was hauled out of his chair, a hand around his throat, and shoved against the wall. His feet dangled above the floor, and he looked down into Daisuke’s eyes, only to stare into blackness. It wasn’t as if his pupils had grown. It was like there was a void there, instead of the usual breathtaking pools of liquid sunset. Unable to breathe, Sasuke’s hands scrabbled at the hand that held him fast.
A flurry of movement from behind Daisuke caught his attention, dragging his eyes away from the frightening nothingness in the other boy’s eyes. A flare of chakra was all he saw before Daisuke released him, letting Sasuke drop back to the floor while the older boy held his hand protectively against his chest. A voice that didn’t sound like Daisuke at all growled, “Little bitch…I’ll cut the fucking thing off…” Atsuki’s small hands grabbed Sasuke and yanked him back and away from Daisuke’s crouched form as Suiru advanced on him, a glow of chakra surrounding her left hand, and a strange monotonic chant falling from her lips.
Daisuke clawed at the bandages on his right hand, ripping at them with his other hand, tearing at them with his teeth, and growling all the while. The cotton strips fluttered to the floor, and he hissed as Suiru neared, her chakra glowing brighter as she approached. The boy stared up at the young apothecary as she withdrew a scroll from a holster at her hip, his lips forming a sneer. Suiru was still chanting, and her hand started reaching out toward Daisuke. In what seemed like an immense effort, he reached into a pouch and withdrew a slender knife. Holding it to his own throat, he glared up at Suiru through his blue hair. “Back off, bitch. I’ll kill him.”
Sasuke frowned in confusion, and made to move forward and stop this nonsense before it went even more out of control. He was stopped, strangely enough, by a sharp blow to his stomach. Looking down, he found Atsuki glaring up at him. “Don’t…” was all she said, but her eyes spoke more than enough. Sasuke remained standing where he was.
Suiru had stopped now, and she raised an eyebrow. “Really? I don’t think that even you would be that stupid, Daniel.” The taller boy stood up to his full height, towering over the girl. “Does it burn?” she asked, glancing at his hand.
Uncurling his fingers revealed a strange set of black markings. There was a black circle that looked like a strange eye, surrounded by two jagged lines, which made it look like a dark sunburst. On either end were two tomoe. The thing looked strangely like a curse seal. Sasuke’s eyes widened to a painful extent. What was the seal? He had never seen anything like it. On second glance, it looked almost like a cross between a curse seal and the one that Naruto bore on his stomach, sealing the demon within him.
Beginning a different chant, Suiru started walking toward Daisuke again, and the tall boy instantly fell to the floor, sprawled on his back and howling in pain. His cries had something inside Sasuke’s chest ripping apart. Never in his life had he been witness to such anguish. Transferring the scroll from one hand to the other, Suiru stood over the prone young man, leaning ever lower, until she could place it in his hand. When it came into contact with his palm, a blood-curdling scream ripped through the air, and Daisuke went limp for a long moment, until he came to himself.
As he felt Atsuki relax, Sasuke thought it safe to step forward. He crouched next to the boy’s head.
--
When he came to, the first thing he noticed was a lingering scent. It was like clean water and flowers, faint but still there. The smell tugged at his memory, especially when it was paired with the strange tang of the frost outside. Opening his eyes, Daisuke saw only Sasuke. Strange…I thought it was…No…he couldn’t think of him. He wouldn’t. Eyes like the sunset over a green meadow looked quickly away from the pale and concerned face before him as he jumped to his feet and then ran from the room. Away. He had to get far, far away.
Running was something he was good at. Run away. Faster, faster until he was nothing other than a blur. Harder, until his chest burned. Farther, until there was enough distance between him and Sasuke that he didn’t feel the knife in his chest when those dark eyes fell on him. Through alleys, over rooftops, and finally, there was nowhere he could run. He stood on the very edge of the longest pier, watching the last rays of the sun glint on the water, and he remembered.
Daisuke remembered rose-colored hair, stained with blood, eyes that had once danced with life, closed in death. He had still been warm when he held him. The most painful feeling in his life…and it still coursed through him as he contemplated throwing himself into the water that broke along the immense pilings of the pier. But he knew that he couldn’t. Not when he had so much to atone for. He would never be able to forgive himself if he didn’t do what he had set out to. To make things right, he had to take his revenge. His eyes reflected the sunset, and it was almost painful in its beauty.
Kalin had loved the sunset. He had loved everything, really. Most of all, the boy had loved anything having to do with the heavens, and with things that grew in the earth. It was strange that he did, really. Daisuke never did understand. The stars were the stars. There were no stories behind them. The earth was dead dirt, and things grew out of it merely because it held nutrients. But simply watching his brother back then, playing in a garden and laughing out loud, tackling a much younger Atsuki to the ground, tickling her without mercy until she cried…when he did that, he could believe all the little stories that Kalin made up about flowers and stars, and how they all lived together in one glorious, beautiful truth.
Now, as he stood there on the edge of the wooden bridge to nowhere, the wind nearly blowing him over the edge, he felt ill. It really felt as if he were going to be sick as the land breeze blew out over the water, pushing him forward little by little toward the brink.
--
“What the hell is going on here?” Sasuke rounded on Suiru, who was calmly picking up her scroll. “What the fuck is wrong with him? What did you do to him? Why did he freak out?” The girl simply blinked at him, not looking as if she were in the least bit disposed to answering the simplest question.
Indeed, she turned away from him, heading for the stairs once more. “Explain to him, Atsuki. I’m going to bed.” Suiru swayed slightly on her feet as she ascended the stairs, and gripped the banister tightly. What she had done did not take that much chakra…unless she didn’t have that much to begin with, it shouldn’t be a problem. She wouldn’t have made a very good ninja, in that case. Putting that out of his mind, he turned to the small girl who was still staring at the door.
After a very long moment, the look of shock melted from her face before she turned eyes the color of a roaring fire toward him. Glancing momentarily toward the stairs, she then turned fully to Sasuke. “Damn it, Sasuke!” Apparently, she’d been checking to make sure that her sister wouldn’t reprimand her for the coarse language she often used. She could be worse than Naruto. She walked over to him and reached up, taking hold of his ear in a way that no one had ever attempted aside from his own mother. The grip did not falter when he grumbled and tried to pull away, but kept her fingers clamped down, pulling him toward the table where he had been sitting next to Daisuke. With a sharp tug downward, she said, “Sit.” He sank into his chair again, and Atsuki sat on the edge of the table, dangling her legs back and forth. “Ask your questions.”
“What the hell just happened?”
She took a very deep breath. “Dai-chan has a little…problem when it comes to dealing with things. I was hoping that things would get better now that you were with us…but I guess I was wrong, like usual. Maybe I should start at the beginning, yes?” Sasuke gave a nod, and Atsuki closed her eyes, tilting her head to the right, and smiling sadly. “A few years ago, when I was little, we were back home, and still living in much more comfortable circumstances than we do now. Dai-chan just sort of showed up one day with his little brother. They worked for Suiru and me’s dad.” Sasuke opened his mouth, but she foresaw his question. “We’re not really his sisters, as if you couldn’t already tell.”
Going on, she mused, “Kalin-kun was so…cute, but there was always something about him. It was like he knew things that no one else could possibly know. He had this kind of gift, to make you feel better no matter how bad things got. All it took was a smile, or his laugh, and you felt like everything was right. He and I played together, and I teased him about his hair—it was pink, and who has pink hair, anyway?—and he would pick at me because of my eyes. The day things went wrong…it was horrible. This man showed up—I never saw him, but Suiru did—and he did something to Kalin. I…I never saw him like that before... After whatever it was that the man did to Kalin, I heard him screaming at Daisuke…words he shouldn’t have known at his age, know what I mean? He was screaming at him that it was all his fault, that they were all dead because of Daisuke. He tried to kill Daisuke…but Dai-chan killed him instead.”
Sasuke felt as if he were going to vomit. “He murdered his own brother?” The shock and disgust were evident in his voice, and Atsuki seemed to notice this. Her eyes narrowed menacingly, and she quickly drew her hand back and delivered a hard slap to the side of his face.
“Don’t talk that way about Daisuke! It wasn’t him that did it. That man—he did that to Kalin. He had something inside him…something evil. Dai-chan only defended himself against Kalin…it was all he could do to keep himself alive! Now, because of him killing Kalin, he has that thing you saw inside him…It calls itself Daniel, and it comes out only when Daisuke is very, very upset. The only one who knows how to put Daniel back inside is Suiru, with that scroll you saw.” Atsuki was now looking at the floor. It was amazing. Could Daisuke have some kind of demon inside him? That would explain the blank black eyes, and the crushing strength, as well as the terrifying aura that had radiated from Daisuke’s entire body.
But he was okay now. “I’m going after him.” Sasuke rose from his seat. He hated it when people acted like cowards. Sure, the guy had done unspeakable things, but so had Sasuke. He could live with himself, and so should Daisuke. What Sasuke failed to realize, and had never really understood fully, was that not everyone had the stoic disposition of an Uchiha. The talent he’d inherited from his father—and shared with Itachi—for hiding from his emotions was a finely honed art. Sasuke had seen far too many people allow their emotions to overwhelm them. Sakura, Naruto, even himself when Itachi was involved. But somehow, he had thought Daisuke was stronger than that. He thought that the boy would be able to handle whatever the world threw at him.
So much for being a genius.
Atsuki protested weakly, saying that he should stay at the inn, that Daisuke needed to be alone. Sasuke shook his head, and for the first time in more than a month, activated his Sharingan. “No one needs to be alone,” was all he said before he left by way of the same door Daisuke had, tracking his chakra through the town.
--
The first stars of evening had just begun to show through the fading light on the horizon when the breeze behind him brought the smell of flowers, salt, and mildly concealed anger to his nose. Daisuke had, for the last few minutes, been wondering when Sasuke would come after him. How he knew that the black-haired young man would follow, he wasn’t sure. He just knew. That didn’t mean he had to be happy about it. “Go away, Sasuke.”
“I can’t do that.”
Still looking out over the dark water of the lake, Daisuke sighed. How had he known that Sasuke was going to be stubborn about this? The moment he’d seen him laying there in the wastelands, he knew that the Uchiha was a very…determined and persistent person. But right now, he just wished that he was less like Atsuki, and a bit more like Suiru, who knew when not to pour salt on his wounds. He could vaguely hear Sasuke’s approach, and braced himself for the verbal assault he was sure would come.
“Atty told me…what happened, Daisuke…” Those words twisted like a knife in his guts, and he flinched from them. “It…” Daisuke waited…for the axe to fall. The condemning words, that would make him break inside, one more time. “It wasn’t your fault.” That low, dark voice was next to his ear now, sounding like comfort and mocking all at once. He didn’t want to look at him, to look at charcoal-colored eyes and see that mocking. He sounded too much like Kalin’s voice as he screamed of weakness.
Weakness. He was weak, wasn’t he? Daisuke’s fists clenched. He couldn’t save his family…he couldn’t stop Kalin…he couldn’t even face Sasuke. Anger welled up inside his chest, hot and frightening, and he whirled round to stare down into dark eyes, which were wide with surprise. The strange look in Sasuke’s eyes didn’t even give him a moment’s pause. Poking Sasuke in the middle of his chest, he said, “What the hell would you know? She only told you what she saw. Do you have any idea—“ he gave a hard shove to the shorter boy’s shoulders, sending him stumbling backward, “—what it feels like? To know that you’re powerless to stop your whole world from falling apart?” Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, but Daisuke just plowed on, stepping forward and pushing him roughly every so often. “No! You have no idea what it feels like! You don’t know! So don’t you fucking pretend that you even give half a shit about what I feel!” And with that, his fist flew through the air, connecting with the right side of Sasuke’s jaw, and the pale young man went down, crashing into a set of crates.
His breathing had become labored at the effort it took not to simply pound Sasuke’s face into a bloody pulp. Turning on his heel, he walked quickly away from the edge of the pier. Sasuke didn’t know…he couldn’t realize the agony that Daisuke went through every day. The fight to live, to stop the pain…would the pain stop when he killed that man? Would it ever stop? The growing darkness enveloped him, surrounding him in its dark velvety embrace, and he welcomed it. In the dark, he couldn’t see the way the world mocked him.
A hand clamped down on his arm, and dragged him around, face to face with a ghostly pale vision in the dying light. Sasuke’s eyes had turned red, and there were strange black markings swirling around them. Something about that was familiar. Searching his memory, Daisuke suddenly found a memory of something he’d heard in a village to the south. Sharingan…he was that Sasuke? A pale, slender hand gripped the front of his shirt, and Sasuke growled, “Don’t talk to me about pain, Daisuke. I know, better than you could imagine, what it feels like. So don’t think that I can’t understand.”
--
As he stood there, glaring up into Daisuke’s face, he wondered why he was even bothering. He knew that the boy was so wrapped up in his own suffering that the thought of seeing past it was beyond his comprehension. But, there was still that feeling that Daisuke should be stronger than this. Maybe he had overestimated him? No. Sasuke was an excellent judge of mental and physical capacity. Daisuke had the ability to be stronger than this. He just had to beat it out of him, or taunt him until it came out.
Somehow, he thought he knew what Naruto felt that day when they nearly killed one another. Only, instead of eyes like midday winter skies, he found himself unable to look away from those that looked like a summer sunset. His own eyes acted as a mirror for all of the pain and anger that he saw in Daisuke. They stared at each other for a long moment, watching their feelings being thrown back at them by the other. The world stood still. No breeze blew, no crickets sang. Sasuke’s heart did not beat, and neither did he breathe.
The feeling overwhelmed him, gripping him with such force that he could feel himself begin to shake. His fingers lost their hold on the fabric of Daisuke’s shirt, but his hand stayed where it was, lingering lightly, feeling the shallow breaths that caused firm muscle to rise and fall beneath his palm. For the time being, though he couldn’t breathe, and the world seemed out of focus, it didn’t really matter at all. All he cared about right at that moment was finding some way to bring Daisuke out of the depths of his self-loathing.
--
His breath caught in his chest. He now knew that Sasuke did understand. Those dark eyes reflected all of his pain, his sorrow. Sasuke’s eyes had seen horrors, fear, and agony. They had cried, hated, loved…loved? Daisuke probed deeper into Sasuke’s eyes, unconsciously leaning toward him. What was that, behind all that anger? Behind the pain and hate? The light was growing more and more dim, and it was becoming harder to see, which prompted him to lean closer. Sasuke’s eyes seemed to pull all light into them, holding it in and turning it into a dark radiation that warped Daisuke’s sense of time and place. It gripped him, pulling him in, and soon, he was close enough that his nose brushed lightly against a paler, more delicate one.
--
In the cold of the earliest part of night, Sasuke felt warm breath on his face, and his vision was filled with nothing other than Daisuke’s eyes. The feeling of a nose brushing against his had his fingers closing over Daisuke’s shirt again, and his breathing becoming more and more shallow. Then, he heard something, a whisper like the lightest breeze, against his lips.
“Sasuke…”
--
Heart pounding, Daisuke tried to breathe, but found it to be next to impossible. He was so very close, a heartbeat away. The air seemed to thicken as he took it in before breathing Sasuke’s name. If he could understand, would he accept? A small jolt in his stomach came at the sudden realization of what it was in those charcoal-colored eyes. Closing his eyes and holding on to that small, flickering feeling, that tiny hope, Daisuke crossed the tiny yet immense distance.
Warm, dry lips touched his, and he felt that little hope flare, felt it grow when Sasuke’s hand tightened further on his shirt. Pressing forward gently, he lovingly took the other boy’s lips hostage, parting his own lips slightly as his hands reached up to twine themselves in Sasuke’s hair.
--
Sasuke was sure that his heart was going to jump from his chest. Nothing could have prepared him for this. No amount of hatred, friendship, or ambition could have given him the foresight to know that this would happen. Why was he allowing Daisuke to hold him this way? Why was he letting him kiss him? And why did it feel as if he wanted him to?
Sasuke gasped when Daisuke’s lips parted, and teeth grazed his lower lip just before Daisuke’s tongue flicked across his lips, tasting. His gasp turned into a small mewl of contentment—much to his surprise—when the kiss was deepened as that questing tongue found its way into his mouth. A feeling which had been growing in his chest, tightening like anticipation, suddenly released, and he simply let go. He let go of all of his anger, his hatred, his ambition. How could such simple physical contact make him feel as if the world was suddenly as it should be?
--
Sasuke’s head tilted back, and his mouth opened a bit more, allowing Daisuke in further. All tension having now vanished the moment Sasuke made that small noise, he found himself somehow reveling in the feeling of smooth skin under his fingers as his right hand moved down to the pale boy’s neck. To liken Sasuke’s skin to silk was as poor a comparison as trying to say that the sun was like a light bulb. There was no logical explanation for how it felt to hold him, and no words to express what he experienced when Sasuke’s arms slid around his neck, pulling him closer.
They remained this way for so long, it seemed as if they would die standing there surrounded by water, and the cold night air. But finally, they parted, both breathing heavily for lack of air. Sasuke looked frightened. Daisuke could sympathize. The feelings rising within him were more terrifying than anything he had ever experienced in his life. The shorter boy yanked away from him, taking a few steps back. Daisuke reached out to him, but Sasuke shook his head wordlessly.
When he continued to advance, the Uchiha backed further away. “Sasuke?” His voice sounded as if he were pleading with the other boy to stay. Alabaster skin glowed in the moonlight, and he thought he saw tears shining on Sasuke’s cheeks. One more step brought him close enough to touch him, and he wiped those tears away. No sooner had he done this than Sasuke shied away from him again.
“No…” Sasuke whispered, his voice lost in the wind, but somehow, Daisuke heard it anyway. He backed away, coming closer and closer to the side of the pier, and just as Daisuke reached out to him, his foot slipped. The dark-haired young man’s arms flailed vainly in an attempt to keep his balance. Instead, it only propelled him over the edge. Daisuke dove after him, gripping a pale wrist in one hand and drawing a coil of wire from his pocket with another. This, he aimed at the top of the piling nearest him, and when it caught, it wrenched at his arm, and bit into his hand, drawing blood in spite of the thick leather of his gloves. Looking down past Sasuke’s shocked face, he found the rocks jutting up from the water no more than three meters distant.
“S-Sasuke…climb up,” he managed to say through gritted teeth as he shut his eyes tightly, trying to block out the pain. Not needing to be told twice, Sasuke scrambled up Daisuke’s body, and his chakra tingled against the older boy’s skin as he focused it to climb up the piling without the aid of the wires. Finally, after a long moment of hoping that the wires didn’t slice all the way through his hand, Daisuke’s body was hauled quickly and unceremoniously up onto the rough wooden planks of the pier.
Both of them lay there on the pier, gasping for breath, Daisuke cradling his injured hand. “Why?” he heard from next to him. Turning his head, he found Sasuke staring at him with some sort of strange frustrated anger burning in his eyes. “Why did you do that? I could have taken care of myself. All you ended up doing was hurting yourself.”
A small sigh escaped him before he reached out his nearest hand to Sasuke’s face, to wipe cold sweat from his forehead. That, if nothing else, was proof that he had been afraid; if not for himself, then for Daisuke. In doing this, he accidentally left a smear of blood across porcelain-toned skin, giving the impression that he had sullied the other boy, just as he did everything else in his life. Quickly, he looked away from that crimson stain. Daisuke sat up slowly, and threw his legs over the side of the pier to allow them to dangle there.
The inky water below swirled around rocks that he was sure would have claimed Sasuke’s life. Had he been wrong? No…he didn’t think he was. Did Sasuke care if he died? Did he care about anything? With the way he was acting, Daisuke had to wonder. He dangled his feet back and forth, trying to decipher Sasuke’s reaction to the kiss they’d shared. It was fairly easy to surmise that Sasuke was not an instinctual creature, and wouldn’t become wrapped up in the emotion of the moment. It was also a short leap of reasoning to think that it had been a conscious decision to kiss Daisuke back, rather than pulling away. But, what he was having trouble explaining was why, after that decision, did he shy away?
Daisuke could feel those dark eyes on him, taking in the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands were clenched around the splintering edge of the pier, and how he couldn’t quite keep his body from shaking. It was more than just the rejection. It was the fear that he saw in Sasuke’s eyes. He didn’t want to be feared. Not by Sasuke. Had he thought of the darkness within, once their lips broke from each other? Closing his eyes tightly, he blocked out the sight of the churning water and jagged rocks below that could have been the death of the only person that could come close to understanding him fully. That short moment of acceptance had been what he wanted, what he craved. And for only a moment, he had allowed himself to hope that it might last.
Footsteps behind him told Daisuke that Sasuke was approaching. He came to rest at Daisuke’s left. A second later, there was the barest of touches against his cheek, slender, calloused fingers whispering over his skin before somehow, Sasuke was gone. And it wasn’t that he had simply left the pier. It didn’t take but half a moment for him to realize that Uchiha Sasuke had vanished from the island, and that he would never see him again.
Taking a deep breath, Daisuke pulled a small knife from his pocket. He used this to cut the glove from his right hand, which was bleeding heavily now. The lacerations from the wire he had used cut across the dark circle that looked like a black eye. It would leave a scar. And every time he would see it, he would remember.
--
A/N: Well, there's chapter 2. That took so much out of me...it was a freaking emotional roller coaster. And I'm sure Daisukekun got real tired of me asking so very many questions. ~_^
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Chapter notes: Here you are. For those of you who are interested, here's chapter 2 of my tradefic. I did enjoy writing this bit, but I'll warn you...
A--Angst abound
FL--Foul Language!!!
Y--Yaoi-ness toward the end.
Legal Stuffiness: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters therein. The characters Daisuke Fayne, Astuki Lee and Suiru Lee are all property of Daisukekun, and are used with permission.