I am jealous of your descriptive abilities. O.o. I wish I could write Tsunade and Naruto like you do because you do it so well. Sooooo good. You have a great gift to describe everything with just the right amount of words. I can clearly image everything I’m reading in my head. I didn’t think you OOC’d Naruto, I thought you portrayed him well, all of the ninja in the room were perfect.
Gosh, I love how your characters came across in the meeting; I got a nice glimpse of personality from all of them and then got all happy with the Blue Tiger entered the scene. She is so interesting and makes this story really fascinating. I have to tell you, two chapters in, and this is already one of the best fan fictions I have ever read. I can see hints of deeper plots everywhere and makes me so interested. Gosh! I can’t to read more!

Author's Response: Aww I'm flattered :3 Seriously, you're making me all giddy with these compliments. So happy you are enjoying this and think the characters (canon and OC) are written well. Makes me all proud and ups my confidence so much :D Thank you very much! I hope you continue this story like you are, thank you very much for all the compliments and reading this and the nice reviews!

-sigh...
a new and different review .___.
oh well :P

Juro juro...
hmm... interetsing person.. O.o
so.... is he an old Samrai? :O mayyybe... but looks like there is gonna be a grand duel in the next few chapters >:D
and he seems to have quite a history with Kasumi O.o how might they be related.. suspense >:D

oooh boy -.-
u got Naruto veerrrry well a'rite...
i mean seriously... that Damn ANNOYINGLY dumb orange dud, u got he pretty well in character... trust me... :P
sheesh :P he just can't keep quiet can he? xD
hmm.... Kakashi is kinda in character too... :P
soz for the 'kinda' :P but well.... idk... just didn't get the 100% vibe of him being Kakashi.. :P (i dont think kakashi says "meh" just my opinion though :P)
like Tsunade and naruto seemed pretty perfect if u ask me....
didn't see much of sakura and sai... so won't say anything.
The dialogue was awesome! :D as awesome and realistic as always... if not more...!
So who'll accompany Team 7 this time? :D

oooh... so they'll still be in the story? >:DDDD
kool...! ahahaaa... and i understand what u meant :P
u have to keep in mind each and everyone of em :P
and oooooh... Kazumi the strategist :O
five groups... lets see who faces whom.

And so... the next few chapters will have a greeeaaaat lot of action i think :3 SO EXCITED...! >:]
but hayashi and tsubame as a couple xDD lolol...
and LOOL at this "Could you two seriously just make out or something already, You two bickering, it’s obvious you want each other." that was friggin good< xD

You know what, You haven't lost ur touch at kool dialogue at all...! like u've gotten ur feel again xD
ur speciality is this friggin incredible dialogues afterall(IMO) and u've gotten it back >:D
Glad to have u back lol...

but now that there'll be no reformation, I am really excited to know how this story is gonna head! :o! like...
will she be captured again...? will there be another twist? how will it go on?! what will be the new plotline...?!
So many questions! or rather i make them look like so many -__-
anyways... lol..
really awesome chapter Uruphoo :D
glad to see that you could update already... >:D

well... don't leave us in this suspense xD
so... when's the next update? ;)

Author's Response: Thank you for leaving another review, Shadow, even though you didn't really need to. I'm flattered though anyway :D

Haha, I can't tell you who Juro is just yet or how he knows Kasumi, you'll have to wait and see. But I can tell you there might be a fight coming up soon ;) Hehe, I'm glad you thought Naruto was in character. Everyone says I did well with him, so I'm happy with that, considering my beta had said I didn't get him right initially. Hmm, I'm sorry you think I didn't get Kakashi totally in character. But I'm happy Sakura and Sai seemed alright. Hehe, everyone is so eager to see which team(s) will accompany Team Kakashi. I'll leave you all in suspense for that ;D

Haha, yeah, the Original Nine might make some appearances in the story. Depends on what I'm thinking as the story progresses. But don't worry, there should be enough action in the upcoming chapters... I hope...

Aww, I didn't know you liked my dialogue so much :3 I'm really flattered you think so highly of it, thank you so much for the compliment. This story will have some different twists, it definitely won't be exactly like PotM. Thank you for the awesome review, Shadow! I really appreciate it!

Hm..... No, I can see Naruto acting like this, do for me, it's a no on the OOC thing. Though now I'm curious as to how you may have OOCed him.

I don't really see any writing mistakes, but thats either your fault for writing too well or drawing me into the story to the point I couldn't notice them. Though I do agree with Nkbz about meeting all the main pirates at once. At the same time, though, I can see why you did, seeing as it was a scene where they all gathered. I'm pretty sure I did that in Darkness Unleashed, so that may just be why I understand. For some readers it can be a bit much. Nothing major to me, though.

Now, on to the other thoughts.

Juro has met the Blue Tiger before O_o? Wait, did he know her before she went rogue? Was he her Sensei?! Haha, don't ask. I've told other people in reviews, I tend to jump to ideas that I think would be interesting, because I know whatever you have planned is interesting. You had both he and her pull out a katana. Does that signify something? Gah, this is evil. I want to know more about Juro T_T.

For some odd reason, and this is just something random because I seem to have jumped a bit intoy weird reviewing mood, but I suddenly thought of Deno Hyuuga. I blame you!

Back on track (I hope). I really enjoyed the Hokage's office scene. I don't feel like we saw the same strength in Team 7 and the Wave family's bond in the original version, so this definitely pleased me. I think you did a great job with their reactions, and for some strange reason, I loved Sai knowing about Suiheisen. It makes sense he would, too, after being in Root. I'm curious about whether or not Team 8 will accompany them. Or maybe even Team 9. Now that would be epic! I can't see more of their mission, and again, I loved this scene.

I've already told you about bringing in all the pirates, though I won't repeat it. Well, of you're keeping the same pirates as in PotM, that's not all of them. Speaking of this scene, are you still debating whether or not to change her name from Kasumi? Or is there another reason you haven't really had it in the story? At least I don't believe it was said last chapter. Also, I loved the fact you still had in the humor even if this version does seem to be more..... I'm not sure of serious fits, but I'm going to say a bit more on the serious side.

I really enjoyed every moment of this chapter. It had me hooked and wouldn't let go (except when my grandma arrived and I forced myself to put it down T_T). I can't wait to read more, and it seems the more I read, the happier I am you came back. Great job, Onee-chan. Just for your amazingness (and because I just remembered I didn't give it to you last chapter like I meant to), here is this. Hopefully it shows since I'm on the iPod.



This story has officially won the YOUR STORY award (still not sure this really matters to anyone, but eh). I'll add in ATBTD when I get time. This is definitely worthy of the YOUR STORY award.

P.S. Writing long reviews on iPods are hard.

P.P.S. Even with Nkbz's compliment at the end of his reviews, you still argue with me about being better than me *says with hand on hip and eyebrow raised*?

Author's Response: Oh good, Naruto was OOC. My beta had just said I made him too whiny, like he was in Part 1. Apparently he's not so whiny in Part 2, which I keep forgetting -_-

Even when you don't find mistakes, it's my fault? I can't win with you people! Jeez... Oh, I still need to get around to fixing that scene. Even when I read over it, it's starting to irk me because I know I need to fix it.

Hehe, yes, Juro knows the Blue Tiger. I can't tell you how he knows her, but they're pretty much old acquaintances. The katana pulling does signify something: basically their upcoming confrontation with old acquaintances ;) You'll learn more about that little bit as the story goes on.

...Why on earth are you thinking about characters from my other story? :P

Yeah, the original story didn't go into a lot of depth with Leaf and Wave relations and all that, so I'm hoping that this rewrite will show more of the bonds between Inari and his family and the Leaf shinobi. I also tried alternating between Kakashi and Sai knowing about the Suiheisen (other than Tsunade of course) because they seemed to be the ones who would actually know stuff like that. As of now, even I'm not sure which teams will be accompanying Team Kakashi to the Land of Waves... I haven't really gotten to writing the next chapter yet...

Oh yeah, we'll see if all the original nine pirates I made in PotM actually come around, but the five that you saw in this chapter are going to be the most important, the S-class as it was said in this chapter. Sasaui, why do you keep saying her name?! It wasn't technically mentioned in the story yet, you're ruining it for new readers! -_- I'm just going to refuse to answer the name question haha. Oh, well, this story is going to be more on the serious side than PotM was, but I don't think I could write an entire story without at least a bit of humor in it :3

Ah, the award did show up! Thank you for giving me the Your Story Award, I feel all special now that this story made it in, especially since there's only two chapters :D Haha, I'm sorry you had to write such a long review on an iPod, I hate writing them on my phone too. Hmm...yeah, I'll still argue about who's better. We're in too deep into the argument for me to just stop disagreeing with you, it's too fun at this point ;D Anyway, thank you very much for such a nice and long review, I really appreciate it!

Wow this is going very good. Initially I didn't think I'd be interested in Juro, but he definitely set the scene really well and the emotion was clear. You've done a good job at slipping in little details here and there to set up a back-story rather than laying it all out on the table. You've branched out from the ordinary and mundane by bringing in Daiymos and working with other villages in the Narutoverse.

The characters are all in character, and the pirate captain even has that pirate feel to her which might have faded in the previous one. Chapters are also well sized where the reader doesn't have to leave it on a bookmark or be discouraged. You created very distinct scenes with each POV switch rather than recycling the same junk for 7000 words. The narrative also has been getting put to good use.

The biggest problem I see that stands out is the self dubbed 'introduce all the pirates here' section of this chapter. It's clearly evident you're inches away from an infodump when you start the height/eye color/hair color rodeo to introduce multiple people. Maybe instead of:

“Someone had to check on the prisoners. Seeing as the actual guard never got around to actually doing his duty. Hayashi.”

Hayashi guffawed at this.

You could have put: 'The pirate in question...' (or something similar since you have already established it is Hiyashi.) It would have made that area of the chapter flow and seem less obvious/redundant.

I'm sure others can help you point out any spelling mistakes and debate about buildings, so I'll steer clear of any of those errors. Aside from the above there isn't much to nitpick.

I still consider this at least a tier above anything else polluting the most recent page lately. I can really see how you've grown since your early work. Keep it up.

Author's Response: :D You still like it! I feel so accomplished! You're the only one to mention Juro so far, so I'm glad he really stuck out to you. He is important to the story for now, but I didn't want to throw out his real purpose right away. I'm trying to keep the story suspenseful, so the small details are (hopefully) doing a good job of foreshadowing. Writing about daimyos and other countries and politics is really difficult, admittedly, so I'm hoping that I can keep it realistic and interesting at the same time.

Awesome, no one was OOC! That's always reassuring to hear. And you like the pirate captain! That's even more reassuring to hear :D Haha, I'm hoping I don't go overboard with creating long chapters; I have done it before so let's hope I don't go back to that. But for now, I'm hoping to keep the narrative crisp and the chapters enjoyable to read.

Omg...I'm close to an infodump... T_T Now I feel like a failure... Gah, thank you for pointing it out to me. I'll make sure to go over that and fix it when I have time.

Your compliments really do always surprise me, and I'm always deeply flattered by them. I really hope this story continues to impress you and lives up to your expectations. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I'm really grateful for your insightful feedback!