Reviews For Down the Sodden Hill
Name: dalaw (Signed) · Date: 07/05/09 - 07:27 pm · For: Prologue
omz!!! interesting i likes.
Name: Ardisaur_rawr (Signed) · Date: 20/04/09 - 05:02 pm · For: Chapter 7 - Changes
Wow.... this is very dismal.
It makes my heart hurt.
Author's Response: Yeah... the last chapter was pretty dreary. But sometimes you like a little hurt--right?
Name: Vixkill (Signed) · Date: 19/04/09 - 07:21 pm · For: Chapter 7 - Changes
i was just thinking about harassing you to update, but here you are! whoo!
keep going, this is one of those stories i can't forget!
Author's Response: lol, yeah, I was harassing myself about updating--thought I'd make things easier on you. ;) Glad you like it so much!
Name: crazykittylover (Signed) · Date: 19/04/09 - 02:42 pm · For: Chapter 7 - Changes
wow, i like this story, its better than the usual routes that writers take if they were throwing a person in to the world, its cruel and heart rinching, keep writing
Author's Response: Glad you like it! Yeah, I think writers typically go way too easy on their OC's. It can't possibly be that easy to appear in a world populated by ninja...
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 19/04/09 - 01:59 pm · For: Chapter 7 - Changes
Poor Ashley... I really want to cry at this point.
Why couldn't she just end up in friggin' Konohagakure like all the other OC's?????
Oh, yeah, because this idea's original. ^___^
And I couldn't find any errors. It may have to do with the fact that it's 5:45 A.M, though.
Mid-May? Jeez, everything important is happening in May for me...
^__^ Loved it!
-Miki Everless
Author's Response: Yeah, the next few weeks are really busy for me... Glad you liked the chapter! And you're absolutely right, Konoha's been done to death, OC's need some variation. Things have been getting pretty... dark? Depressing? Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Name: Vixkill (Signed) · Date: 14/02/09 - 12:32 pm · For: Chapter 6 - Freedom
i'm emailing you a thing!
great chapter, looking forward to the next! please write!
Author's Response: Haha, awesome! I got your omake, it made me laugh. =D Glad you liked the chapter, thanks for reviewing... (And for the fun email ^^)
Name: DropDeadThenDance (Signed) · Date: 14/02/09 - 08:24 am · For: Chapter 6 - Freedom
YAY!! Update!! So cool!
Poor Ashley... I really hope to see the next chapter of this soon!
Great work as always!!
Author's Response: Thank you. ^_^ I'm glad you liked the chapter. (And I'll try hard to get the next chapter out faster!)
Name: Vixkill (Signed) · Date: 18/01/09 - 10:56 pm · For: Chapter 5 - A Game
huzzah! not long to go until the story has caught up with the prologue. good going! keep writing!
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, we'll be catching up to the prologue soon, but I will strive not to repeat myself...
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 15/01/09 - 03:20 pm · For: Chapter 5 - A Game
Somehow, this is starting to remind me of the first chapter O.o
I'm not so sure that Tobi's going to be very happy if he returns to the cell to see Ashley stretching on the floor....
—naturally, both of them had been assigned by Mr. Feroll, her economics’ teacher.
-naturally, both of them had been assigned by Mr. Feroll, her Economics teacher.
(Academic subjects are considered to be proper nouns.)
“Although you may be wiser to make it Tobi-sama.”
"Although it may be wiser to call me Tobi-sama."
(Just a suggestion... not really a typo.)
The sloshing of feet through water followed, and then a second clang, softer, but much closer.
('Clang' wasn't italisized like the rest of the sound effects.)
I really did love this chapter; you should be satisfied with it! =)
Update soon.
Author's Response: Ha, yeah, we're catching up on the prologue now. Hopefully I'll be able to keep anything from sounding redundant, but let me know if the situation seems too similar to chapter 1. (I wouldn't want it to get boring...) Glad you liked the chapter (still not completely satisfied, but I've got too much on my plate to fuss over it now), and thanks for the corrections!
Name: Vixkill (Signed) · Date: 11/12/08 - 07:04 pm · For: Chapter 4 - The Other Faction
yay! another chapter! much faster than the last too.
poor nice guy dying.
looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! We should be pretty much done with all that tedious wandering Ashley was forced to do in the first several chapters, so hopefully the rest will be at a bit of a faster pace. rnrnYeah, that guy was real decent for a ninja, I think... I feel a little bad about killing him off. Oh well. Thanks for reviewing!
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 11/12/08 - 02:47 am · For: Chapter 4 - The Other Faction
0.0
So Ashley gets captured by the Akatsuki, and gets interrogated. WOW. Hardcore.
Very hard to spot mistakes in here.
“Whatever. Do what you want, you’re the one who will have to face Leader-sama’s wrath. I’m heading back.”
Should be:
"Whatever. Do what you want; you're the one who will have to face Leader-sama's wrath. I'm heading back."
A semicolon would be best for this sentence.
Ashley hesitated, wondering if there was any way she escape from this situation with all ten fingers in tact.
'Intact' is one word, and means 'attatched'. 'In tact' means 'in etiquette' or something.
GAHH! UPDATE SOON! I love this story!
Author's Response: Urg, yeah, typos. Didn't edit this chapter as much as I should have, so I'm glad you caught my mistakes. : )rnrnGlad you enjoyed the chapter. Things are getting pretty bad for Ashley now...
Name: Vixkill (Signed) · Date: 07/11/08 - 04:30 am · For: Chapter 3 - The East Road
marvelous! excellent! great well-strung and very original story. eagerly awaiting another chapter
Author's Response: Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked the story! I'm afraid I'm not a very fast updater, but I'm determined to get the next chapter up faster than I got this one up...
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 06/11/08 - 05:04 pm · For: Chapter 2 - Kindness of Strangers
Third chapter, beta-d! =D
“Never mind. Get over here and take the tables over for me; I’ll make you some breakfast.”
The comma could be replaced by a semicolon; makes more sense.
Now it just looks like I'm scanning for the slightest mistake. *tear*
Author's Response: Yeah, a semicolon or a period would work, but I shouldn't have put a comma by itself... I'm a detailist, so I don't mind small mistakes being pointed out (I tend to fix them obsessively, though). But if you really want me to, I guess I could put some huge mistake in the next chapter... it would be hard, painful even... No, I probably couldn't do it on purpose... Oh, well. Thanks for reviewing!
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 06/11/08 - 04:43 pm · For: Chapter 1 - A Great Day
Damn, it's hard to find a mistake in here!
Because she hurt and she was lost and there was no way this could be a dream, because it was all too real.
That's it for the second chapter. *pants*
Author's Response: Took me a while to become convinced about this one, had to look up more information about 'because' clauses (because 'because' isn't always preceeded by a comma)... but, yeah, I've decided you're right, because in this case the 'because' clause explains why it can't be a dream. Cool.
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 06/11/08 - 04:35 pm · For: Prologue
Chick, you have really good grammar.
But some things that could be corrected (in bold): The girl shuddered, shrinking away from him as much as his hold would allow. “I’m not lying,” she defended fearfully “That’s what I saw… You drained the bijuu from the one-tail… his… position as Kazekage only makes him more vulnerable, because he’ll do everything he can to protect his village.”
The commas before the quotations could be changed into periods, but other than that, I found no problems in the first chapter.
0_0 this is going to be a hard story to beta.
Author's Response: Yeah, that comma-before-quotations thing is something I recently noticed I was doing when I shouldn't be (in the last six months or so, I think), so I've been trying to get rid of it where it isn't really appropriate... but I rarely catch them all. Thanks for pointing it out. I'm a bit of a stickler for details, so I don't mind. ^_^
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 06/11/08 - 04:28 pm · For: Chapter 3 - The East Road
Wow.... good filler chapter! You haven't updated in a while, so when I saw this story on the board, I was like, "0_0 MUST READ!"
Author's Response: Yeah, I was horribly distracted and didn't realize how long it had been... Glad you liked the chapter!
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 08/10/08 - 04:04 am · For: Chapter 2 - Kindness of Strangers
Wow. Another amazing chapter =]
Uhh, who's Kerry Huston? I'm confused lol.
I REALLY like this story. I'm favouriting it now. Keep it up!
-Miki (Lynn)
Author's Response: Kerry Huston is Ashley's friend who was introduced in chapter 1... Not a large character, so not very memorable, I admit.rnrnI'm glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for reviewing!
Name: DropDeadThenDance (Signed) · Date: 07/10/08 - 10:21 am · For: Prologue
Pardon me but... HOLY SHIT!! This is good stuff! Scared me a bit there in the beginning I must say. I mean really!
I'll favorite this!
Author's Response: Ah, thank you very much. Yeah, the prologue's a little intense... I really like writing a creepy Tobi. ^^
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 25/09/08 - 03:53 am · For: Prologue
I've got an idea! I'll be your beta!
If you don't have a beta.. yeah.
I've always wanted to beta a story =D
Author's Response: Heh, I've never actually had a beta before... The chapters aren't actually that much worse un-edited, mostly when I edit I fix whatever typos I find, and adjust the wording here and there to make the story 'flow' a little better. rnBut, if you'd like to give that a try, I'm willing to let you. :)
Name: Miki Everless (Signed) · Date: 14/09/08 - 04:06 pm · For: Chapter 1 - A Great Day
Bahh. I usually don't read unfinished fics that are 2 chapters long, but I can't help it. This story has really good potential. Love it! If it gets longer I'll favourite it =D
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad that you liked it so much! I've got a few chapters done, actually... it's just a matter of finding the time to edit/post them. I hope to find a more efficient way to do the latter sometime soon...
Name: WhyWasteBrainPower (Signed) · Date: 03/09/08 - 08:03 pm · For: Prologue
*shaking* h-holy shit... You h-have scared m-me and that's n-not so easy to do man... PLEASE UPDATE THIS SOON!!! Still shaking.
Author's Response: Thanks... I think. The prologue is kind of intense. Well, I can't update really quickly because of everything else I have to do... but I'll try to get chapter 1 up in the next week!
Name: Poketto Kunoichi (Signed) · Date: 27/08/08 - 08:35 pm · For: Prologue
That was really good! ^_^ Great job! :3
Author's Response: Thanks for that, I'm glad you liked it! ^^