Heyo SabakuGirl Let's have a look Lessons Learned. First my compliments on the title, quite original. I do however suggest don't use a family to start, all the information we should need should be worded within the story itself. I say that because rather than just, in essence, throwing the information at us if you attach descriptions and details and paragraphs and quirks, lengthy paragraphs about each one the information will have more staying power in the memory of the reader. If we immediately recognise the character, rather than continuously flicking up to the top for a reminder, we'll enjoy it more and more reviews for you!

I'm not to thrilled with the casual swearing, I find it deflects from the tone of the canon but that's a personal preference. The use of comparisons is nicely done though, I particuarly like the line 'harshest ANBU go read.' Amaya's personality is particuarly well portrayed. One problem is is that your main character who's point of view we're coming through is her name isn't exactly made clear. I scrolled through it a couple of times and I'm still not sure, it is Keseki right? I like the meaning attached to it though, I think the symbolism will be prominent later.

I like the imagery, but more description would spice it up. A fantastic story will paint a clear image, like a movie in our head. Because some of this description is lacking, I'm getting the impression of vague characters moving around a blank room. My suggestion is to really sit inside Kiseki's head and describe the world around her. What does the scenery look like, what furniture is in her home. If it helps use her senses, what does she smell? The acrid stench of smoke drifting through the door, dew on the grass. What does she hear? The rattle of dishes, the flutter of paper. How does her skin feel, slick with night sweats, all tingly with anticipation?

By adding more description it'll add length to your story which might also draw more readers. I remember a poll a while back and the majority of fanfic readers voted the best fanfiction has chapter lengths of 2500 words, where as almost no one voted below fics of 1500 words. I expect its because in a fanfic of at least 1500 words something interesting and exciting must happen to sustain the reader for that long, like an actual Naruto episode. In each episode there's an introduction where we meet all the characters, find out the setting they're in and the atmosphere of the start of the episode. Then there's a life or death conflict or a comedic problem that has to be solved by the character. Then finally there's either a resolution or cliffhanger at the end of episode. I'm not saying your first chapter is boring, just too short for me to immerse myself in the characters.

Well, a good start, a bit more detail, description and length might help but great characterisation. I look forward to see how this part of the Sand Nins lives pan out!