Reviews For Arth thou nothing more then a Chocolate love
Name: kageainoko (Signed) · Date: 05/06/11 - 11:18 pm · For: Arth thou nothing more then a Chocolate love.
great group action. i hope you know shisune is the sister of the man that tsunade fell for, back when the sannin were still a team. but still great no-plot porn.
Name: Moonlight Fox (Anonymous) · Date: 09/09/07 - 11:28 pm · For: Arth thou nothing more then a Chocolate love.
Hi,
I can't exactly call myself a yuri writer because I haven't completed a yuri (Or even a fanfic) but I am trying to. Anways, I agree with Foryourlove, and also more towards the good potential part. I would just say you should concentrate on details and conveying emotions (I didn't copy him, lol. I already planed out what to say before I read review).
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I am in the process of writing several other YURI fics. Which i will upload once done.
Name: ForyourLove (Signed) · Date: 24/08/07 - 11:18 am · For: Arth thou nothing more then a Chocolate love.
Hm....well seeing how I myself am a writer of yuri I decided to take a look at yours, most people don't review yuri even though it gets the biggest flock of readers. I deleted all my stuff from here so you can't read any sorry.
Your details lack detail, I know thats a strange thing to say but its true. You add detail but just not the right kind that pulls people into the story...it seems like you wanted to get smut across more then characters feelings and emotions and that just doesn't cut it even for the smut people.
You have great potential and I would love to see grow as a writer, maybe with more practice you can one day be great ^__^
I wish you luck on continuing writing and over all I give this a 6/10 See...not that back ^___^
Later!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your comment. I will try and focus on the character's emotions the next time i write. Thank you again. ^__^