Reviews For Don't Stumble
Name: bobbie (Anonymous) · Date: 12/08/13 - 04:35 am · For: Scene 10: Coincidence? Maybe
hi love it want to see where you go with this please continu
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 25/05/13 - 08:22 am · For: Scene 10: Coincidence? Maybe
Well, if you do go to another site, tell me where to go because the only other place I know of is ff.net and they're not big on oc fanfics over there. At least not like here. I may follow you. Of course, I'll still be on Tonfa if I do, though.
Anyway, seems like she did connect the dots. I find it interesting the bunny is what really topped her off. Then again, she's only seeing it as a coincidence for now. I wonder how long that will last. I love how Megan makes the connection to the teeth. Out of all things, it's the pointy teeth that prove its not Zabuza.
Haha. Her mom seems really cool. Mrs. Warren must be a real witch. It's good Hannah didn't really get into trouble. I wonder if she'll take these classes, as well as where it shall go from here.
Sorry this is shorter than usual review compared to the others. Just don't feel like there's as much to review on. It was still a great chapter, though, Kaki-chan.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 12/05/13 - 06:04 am · For: Scene 9: The New Girl?
First off, SO SORRY IT HAS TAKEN ME SO LONG TO REVIEW!!!!! Let me give my crappy excuse, because really, I do feel like it's crappy. I've just been distracted by One Piece and One Piece fanfiction. I've been trying to catch up to 148 and 73 chapter fanfics, but that's no excuse to miss this one, especially since I finished the 148 one a few weeks ago. Please forgive me, Kaki-chan. Even worse I'm tired and I read the chapter earlier, so this review may be shorter.
I have a few friends who black out like Hannah does. I don't think I've ever seen them black out and only have what they say to go by. In other words, I feel bad for the girl who angered Hannah. Sure, she may in a way have deserved the scare, but not be scarred for life. And what is the reason she blacks out? Does it have anything to do with the adoption? Like who her real parents are?
Haha. As soon as I saw the name. Well, I had suspicion before, but as soon as he said Mr. Anderson was his uncle, I knew. It's Haku!!!!!!! Watch me be somehow completely wrong about all this and then laugh my head off. Of course, there's only a .1% chance of that in my mind. I seriously think she's related to Zabuza. It would explain why they study her so much - just searching for similarities. And he dresses like a punk, huh? Strange with how innocent he acts. I loved the confusion with gender. It was funny. Darn it - now I want to write a Haku fanfic.......
Anyway, so she's finally connected the dots, huh? Took her about eight chapters I believe. I wonder what will happen now. This was a very interesting chapter, Kaki-chan. And, again, sorry it took so long.
Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 29/04/13 - 09:08 pm · For: Scene 9: The New Girl?
hell fuck yea! zabuza and haku! humanized names!! :S
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 28/04/13 - 10:04 am · For: Scene 8: Mr. Anderson
He's his daughter or sister. I'm calling it. Why? You still didn't decline them being related. Of course, Hannah could also be a niece, too.
Ooh. So the link between Mr. Anderson and someone else is forming. Next time she watches an episode with Zabuza or even sees him in a manga, she's going to flip XD. That will be hilarious to see, I think. If, that is, she sees it before the more Naruto-loving Megan does. Then again, she switched out of his class, so it's doubtful she'll find out first. But hey, you never know. For all at know, Karl will find out first.
Hannah was adopted, huh? I've been wondering if she was. Then it would just open up a world of possibilities. I'm surprised Megan would think that. I wonder what will happen now that she's heard his observation.
Gosh, I don't like Mrs. Warren at all. She's a real..... Well, a word I cannot say. Mr. Anderson saved her face, and she should just be happy about that. Why would Mr. Ludeke side with Mrs. Warren if he's usually not like that? Weird..... If she is running to Mr. Anderson's room, I will laugh because that was my first thought and my first thoughts are only right half the time if not less.
Great chapter, Kaki-chan. I truly enjoyed it.
Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 21/04/13 - 06:28 pm · For: Scene 8: Mr. Anderson
zabuza... hmmm more and more like him
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 17/04/13 - 02:57 pm · For: Scene 7: The Weather Outside Is Frightful...
Oh my gosh. SHE'S GOING TO TURN INTO A FURY AND ATTACK HANNAH!!!!!!..... U^_^ Way too much Percy Jackson I guess.
I love winter. The snow is soooo beautiful *^*. I find it funny she finds all the ice. I've never really stepped on too much and fallen. I've slid, but not fallen that I know of. Darn Hannah. I want winter back. I'd rather have fall or winter. But without school like summer.
Wow. Mr. Anderson really caused a big change in Hannah. I'm glad her parents aren't as mad at her at least. Anderson is even trying to challenge her further it would seem.
Haha. Karl doesn't like to behave it seems. It's always fun reading him. It's especially funny since he doesn't like his dad's class. Then Megan is just sooo energetic. And her Christmas spirit - I LOVE IT ^_^!! These two characters each are so fun to read about.
Hannah gets to go spend a period with Mrs. Warren then, huh? This is going to be fun. I still say she's turning into a fury.
Great chapter, Kaki-chan. Not too much happened, but we got to see how things are going. Plus, it was quite enjoyable. Amazing job ^_^
Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 14/04/13 - 11:44 am · For: Scene 7: The Weather Outside Is Frightful...
o_o wow tht escalted quickly. Xp
i feel her pain. we have that one teacher we wall wish to cuss out lol
Author's Response: Yes, but hopefully not too quickly? I'm trying to keep the story at a moderate pace, but at the same time keep the progress coming... Anyway, I agree. There's always at least one teacher, in every school, that you'd just love to back hand left and right a few times, and I'm sure Hannah feels that way more than some people lol Anyway, thank you for another review, Shadow!!
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 13/04/13 - 06:41 am · For: Scene 6: The Parent Card
Haha. Rewatched the Matrix, huh? Well, that isn't a bad thing. It's an awesome movie. And now even ShadowXNight is thinking of it XD. Hilarious.
Oh boy, Hannah sure is in some trouble now. Looks like Megan has to get Hannah more pizza =P.
Mr. Anderson has a nice truck at least. Sounds pretty big. I'm betting Hannah really wishes it had just been one of her dad's friends. That would have been better for her. As is, her dad seems ticked. I'd be terrified if my parents reacted to me like that.
Mr. Anderson seems so smug. He hasn't even had to say anything. Just sit back and watch. I wonder how all of this is going to go. I'd say more, but I'm leaving, so great Kaki-chan. I really enjoyed reading this.
Author's Response: Yes, and I blame you for it entirely, and for Shadow getting in on the matrix thing XD
Agreed, but I don't think even Megan would think pizza could fix this situation :P but that doesn't mean she won't try! And an uncle of mine actually has a truck like the one I gave Mr. Anderson, but more like what my uncle is trying to refab his into, and I thoughta big truck would fit him, and give Hannah a better chance of seeing him coming XD
Anyway, yes, he is pretty smug, but I think he's justified in being that way. He thinks he can take one of the school's laziest kids and turn them around, that must count for something :3 anyway, thanks for another review!
Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 12/04/13 - 10:04 pm · For: Scene 6: The Parent Card
oh hell no! no pulling the parent card!!! gaaaah! nooooo! dont do that! no! damn ye anderson! *agent smith voice* goodbye mr.anderson. *neo voice* its noe! *killing them* sorry.. matrix stlyness lol
Author's Response: Oh my god, this made my day XD
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 12/04/13 - 06:59 pm · For: Scene 5: Teacher, Student, Confrontation
Haha! Somebody else thinks Zabuza! Or Kakashi, but that's not the point. The point is he has two votes. XD
Haha. Karl was wrong =P. Oh well. Didn't expect him to be right. It's sad how badly the not-caring teachers can be and how it can affect the students. Then again, that can work in a vice versa situation as well. I actually had something in the newspaper about that.
Mr. Anderson is sure one good character. Though he'd be scary. However, he'd make an awesome Karate sensei. He actually cares, though I still say there's a reason it's Hannah who has caught his attention. Until you prove me wrong, I shall believe it! * nods all serious like*.
I wonder how she's going to react to this tomorrow or whenever. I'm sure it will be interesting. After all, she is finally getting what she wanted, right? This shall truly be a fun read. I'd agree with Megan if she said chicken. Pizza? Okay. Chicken? AMAZINGNESS!!!!
Great update. I hope to get to the next one later or tomorrow.
Author's Response: Well of course Karl was wrong, lol no, just kidding, but a majority of Karl's speculation I think was coming from the fact that he doesn't like Mr. Anderson in the slightest. If he had a thing for a student, he'd probably get fired -_- but anyway, I'm glad you like him so far. I've been trying to level him out as someone who obviously cares about the student body, just goes about what he believes in a somewhat... Aggressive fashion... And Hannah is a bit aggressive in her own right as well, so the two clash.
Thanks for another Review Sasaui!!
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 12/04/13 - 01:59 pm · For: Scene 4: Eyes On Me
Okay, two things. One is from my review to Forgotten Concepts. I asked if Kaki-chan would be okay (reason for it is on that review). Also, you only said no to her being Kohaku. You said nothing about not being related ^_^.
Haha. So she's a ninja fix it person? First thing I thought of was Fix It Felix Jr. I really loved that movie. Hm? Worried about diamonds? Is she rich or something? It does she steal them? She's a thief! Haha. Nah, I highly doubt that. Though it would be a twist.
Again, I can so easily imagine Mr. Smith saying "Mr. Anderson". I believe it will continue like this until his real name is revealed =_=. Oh well. He wants to talk to her? What could this be about? Definitely interesting. I'm eager to see what it's about.
Haha. Karl's awesome and hilarious. Has Mr. Anderson really been watching her? She should really pay more attention. But why is he so focused on her? I must know. The fake Facebook thing. Hilarious. So was her reaction. And it seems Anderson has tricked her into showing her smarts. Nice.
Awesome chapter. I really loved it and am glad I have two more to read.
Author's Response: Kaki-chan? Hmm, I like it. Makes me think of Kakashi lol, and yes I noticed that you said something on the Forgotten Concepts; I've been meaning to reply to those reviews, but I'll focus on these ones for now XD
As for Hannah and Mr. Anderson, I'm not revealing anything until Scene... Hmm, nine I think? Or maybe later, depending on how the building up goes :3 but besides that, yes, Hannah is actually very intelligent and a pretty handy little girl, and we'll see what happens with those supposed diamonds ;)
Oh, and I had to re-watch the matrix because of you! XD now every time I write Mr. Anderson, I see Mr. Smith and him sitting in Hannah's school cafeteria debating over the red and blue pills -_- And Karl? Karl is always hilarious, and I thought the facebook thing was actually a very clever way of disguising their conversation so Mr. Anderson didn't pick up on it; he probably wouldn't have been too thrilled to hear that some of his students thought he was eye-balling hannah XD ha ha, but anyway, thanks for the review Sasuai! I look forward to more from you as this story draws on!
Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 11/04/13 - 04:44 pm · For: Scene 5: Teacher, Student, Confrontation
thats MY life style lol. woah. pd said asuma. he reminds me of zabuza. or kakashi BEFORE he met naruto but without his silver hair o_o uh oh
Author's Response: Hmm, you'll just have to read on and find out, won't you?? Anyway, I'm not reveling anything until we get later into the story. I've got a lot of a building up to do, so you'll just have to wait :3
Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 11/04/13 - 04:39 pm · For: Scene 4: Eyes On Me
ummmm this was promblem something new to everyone. i think you scrambled the words a slight bit my dear friend...
sooo, she is a magically fix it nin :p way to go. lol. and maybe the teacher does have the hots for hannah o_o. time to find out! to the next chappie!
Author's Response: yeah, I went back and fixed that! Thanks for letting me know!! Oh, and thanks for the review :3
Name: Purple Dinosaur (Signed) · Date: 09/04/13 - 01:51 pm · For: Scene 3: Don’t Make Me Go, Momma
I love this story so far, DDTD! It surprisingly relates to me in a lot of ways. I think u should keep writing it. I have a feeling that Mr. Anderson is Asuma, but that's just a guess :P I can't wait until the next chapter!
Author's Response: Well when I created Hannah, originally, she was meant to represent a lot of my problems in high school and what I was personally experiencing at this age. That said, I'm glad that you find something in her you can relate to, because that makes her feel more real :3
Thanks so much for the review, Purple Dinosaur!
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 08/04/13 - 10:44 am · For: Scene 3: Don’t Make Me Go, Momma
SHE'S RELATED TO ZABUZA! Or she's Kohaku and had been sent to our world *gasps*. Never leave my mind open to wonder. It rarely ends well.
I think this is the first character of yours I've seen who doesn't mind her parents. Then again, her mom does seem pretty cool. She even has a good point on the teacher. Then again, if this is Zabuza......
Oh, and every time I see Mr. Anderson, I can hear Mr. Smith from Matrix speaking...... It's weird but hilarious. It makes me laugh when I read it. Very amusing indeed.
Great chapter, DDTD. I can't wait to see what happens next. I'm sure it'll be fun.
Author's Response: lol wow, okay, I will say this much and let you know she is NOT Kohaku XD
And yes, Hannah is probably one of the few, if not the only, characters of mine that has a relatively good relationship with her parents. However, Hannah's parents are freakin' awesome lol
Oh my god, that's is hilarious! And kind of strange at the same time O_O but I could see where Mr. Smith and Mr. Anderson could be similar, and it makes me want to go back and reread the chapters I have down- Mr. Smith all the way! lol anyway, thanks so much for another review!! I look forward to seeing what you think of later chapters!!
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 08/04/13 - 08:07 am · For: Scene 2: Your Good Friends
It's Zabuza! Boom, I called it! Probably wouldn't have (okay, 50% chance), but the fact he's in the character list settles it. It's Zabuza.
Oh, a few things I forgot last chapter. Amazing banner, I love it. It's just sooo beautiful. Amazing, really, DDTD. Then the title and summary? I don't know why, but it really stuck out to me. The whole picking yourself up when you stumble is just like something I would say. So, it's Scenes for this, huh? I will never get over your different uses for these. I just love the originality so much! Also, Mr. Deno and Karl Deno made me laugh because of their last names being my character's name. The one you drew at that XD.
Haha. I like Megan. She's so.... Energetic? I'm not sure if that's the right word, but I'm sticking with it. And she's trying to shove Naruto down Hannah's throat, huh? Good girl! Preparing her for the real world, whether she knows it or not XD.
Karl seems pretty cool. I can't help but wonder if the others will be important since you went into explaining them and stuff. Maybe not, though. I'll just have to see.
Great chapter, DDTD. I really enjoyed it and am glad I finally got the chance to read this ^_^.
Author's Response: Hmm, you'll just have to keep reading and find out, won't you? Maybe Zabuza is just an important character??
I'm glad you like the banner! It actually took me a ridiculous amount of time to finish, and I didn't settle on the fall theme right away, but I'm glad you feel the same way about it that I do :3 and as for the summary and title? Well, I felt like at 17, I did a lot of stumbling and falling down, but I usually managed to pick myself up too, so it seemed fitting and like something everyone could relate to... And good call on the Deno thing lol I chose that name for that reason, and because I have a friend named Joe Deno who is something like Karl, just swears a lot more :D
As for Megan, well, energetic is probably the best word to use to describe her... Besides zany, perhaps lol and she's a pretty die hard Naruto fan, and is just doing her civil duty to for the Narutard community XD
And like I said about Karl previously, he's mostly based on my friend Joe, so it only warranted that he be awesome... But anyway, I don't think he's going to be a super important character, mostly a B or C plot kinda guy, but I really love writing him!
Alright, thanks for the review Sasaui!! I appreciate it!
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 08/04/13 - 06:58 am · For: Scene 1: That Kinda Morning
Sorry I didn't get to this before. I saw it, but I've been a bit stuck on One Piece and an awesome OP fanfiction. So yeah, a little preoccupied although I saw this right around when it came out.
Anyway, this was a great start. Hannah seems very interesting. I love how she finds beauty in fall. I can find beauty in all seasons naturally, though not as much Summer, so it's always fun reading authors takes on the seasons. The leaves thing was very cool. Now, though, I want it to be fall U^_^.
Darn. Bad luck with the backpack. But creative fix, nevertheless. And she made it to school at least, even if Mrs. Warren wasn't too happy. She seemed like a real butthole.
Rurouni Kenshin, huh. I have that on my to-read list. I take it you're read it. Have you heard of another story by him called Buso Renkin? It's epic.
Anyway, great chapte, DDTD. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter and finding out just who the Math teacher is.
Author's Response: Hey, don't worry about it :D It's just awesome that you're taking the time to drop by and let me know what you think. So, with that said, don't worry too much about it!
I'm glad you liked how I started this story, and believe you me I jumped back and forth a lot with how I wanted to do this, but I decided I would start it out in my favorite season; fall. And the bit with the leaves was fun to write in, so it obviously had to have a place in the story! Other than that, I'm glad you over all liked the story! I put a lot of effort into this one, and so far I'm really with how things are working out :3
Alright, thanks for the review!! Hopefully Hannah and I can keep you entertained!
Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 07/04/13 - 10:25 pm · For: Scene 3: Don’t Make Me Go, Momma
i like her mom. shes fun to read about :p hannah is a awesome oc. a slight grey hue character :p
and major hardass. is this the next day or a time skip? i got abit confused. but awesome chappie drop dead! :D
i feel loved for a shoutout! :D i get happy reading your stories! so yay!
Author's Response: I actually really like Elli too; she's partially based on a very old character of mine, and was revised, and then implanted here just because I loved her so much then... granted, she's a lot different now, but still lol Anyway, it's either the following day, or a couple of days later. I hadn't really decided, but left it open to either, so I apologize about that -_-
And your welcome for the shout out! I appreciate that you jumped right on this! I was worried it worried pick up any readers, or at the very least it wouldn't any time soon, but you dropped in and I thank you for that!! :3
Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 07/04/13 - 08:38 pm · For: Scene 2: Your Good Friends
Update! update! Please update! XD
Author's Response: Ok ok, but only because you're pressuring me! lol, jk jk
Name: ShadowXNight13 (Signed) · Date: 07/04/13 - 08:37 pm · For: Scene 1: That Kinda Morning
I LOVE IT!!
Author's Response: YAY!! lol