Reviews For Rotten fruit
Name: Rowanrose (Signed) · Date: 27/02/12 - 12:09 pm · For: Snake-Bitten Fate
That's too sad.. Good story.
Name: UzamakiMasumi (Signed) · Date: 26/02/12 - 08:04 pm · For: Snake-Bitten Fate
I think it would have been nice to actually see the scene with his family as the man departs for work. See the dialogue, the exact actions and expressions. It would have really set in the emotions of everything he feels after everything. A few words shared with the customers would have been nice, too.
I don't know. I don't mean to bash. I really did like the idea. I just think it could be so much better if you elaborated on it and made it longer. Oneshots are all about the emotions, the little things.
This is a really important viewpoint that I feel deserves more attention for fanfiction writers. If you did a longer, more detailed version of this, I would be so excited to read it. Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to reading more by you.
Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 26/02/12 - 05:09 pm · For: Snake-Bitten Fate
This was definitely very sad, but it honestly could have been better. One-shots are hard because you have to put all the emotion into one chapter. Zeshi's love could have been described in more depth. The panic and worry could have been elaborated more. And his sadness and heartbreak could definitely have been more exaggerated.
This is a big event to talk about, especially through a civilian's eyes. But I definitely like how you described the scene, and I like what you were going for. I hope to see more from you and watch you improve :) Keep up the good work.
Name: Shizake Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 26/02/12 - 01:52 pm · For: Snake-Bitten Fate
Hey man that was a pretty good one shot! It was sad and all and i feel awful for that man and his family but you have a great concept going from the villagers point of view. I never would of thought of that. Great job!
Author's Response: Hey I was aiming for something different. Glad you enjoyed.