Reviews For Fate's Chosen
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 05:41 pm · For: Let's Hit the Road
Hehe, I loved how Taishi was calling Hanabira Kiba's girlfriend. Best part of the chapter, in my opinion ;)
And I always love sappy romances, you do so well with that, Wolf-chan ;D You make me actually like Kiba, it's so surprising.
Anyway, I wonder if we'll be seeing more of Hanabira's father's influence on her? It obviously seems to affect her a bit, I hope to see more of that kind of insight.
Great work on this chapter! I must go read more now!
Author's Response: Comedy centered on romance is always a sure way to get some laughts ;D Ah, of course I would do well with sappy romances; I must read too many mushy novels then XP Hey, hey! Kiba is mine, perhaps I should lay off of writing him so well. The last thing I need is spurring up competition! Hanabira's father's influence does tend to affect her personality, though not so much right now. You'll see it later, don't worry. Thanks for reading and reviewing, you're awesome, Rainbow-chan!
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 05:35 pm · For: Troubles of the Heart
Wow~
Well, Wolf-chan was right. That is something surprising to read from you. I'm always used to reading the tortured soul in your writing, but it's usually the classical Naruto plot kind of way. Now someone who was the son of a raped victim, that's a whole new surprise from you. I'm impressed, honestly. I'm glad to see you're maturing as a writer.
Aside from Taishi's mom and the guilt he feels for this girl, Kikiyo (which I also feel very bad about as well, I wish Taishi would realize it wasn't his fault she died), I can't believe that guy, Kaoru is going to hurt Deno! What's wrong with these Tear Village people?! They go around attacking innocent poeple?! Jeez!
*sigh* Well, I really did like this chapter. It was probably one of the most interesting so far, though that could just be because I'm so impressed with your unexpected writing. Nice job!
Author's Response: Yeah, that's exactly it. I'm mean to all my ocs, and therefore I have to think up new ways to torture them. That doesn't sound right...... Anyway, yeah, I have to keep my readers guessing, don't I? Trust me, I was wincing as I wrote that. It just felt so wrong because I'm not used to writing those kind of things. I think that's the most mature thing I'm ever going to do, though. I mean, part of me enjoys really difficult scenes like that, but I'm not usually the one who writes them. And even the minor character like Taishi's mom and Kikiyo I am cruel to. And yeah, Taishi completely blames himself. Well, Kaoru is just cruel and really doesn't like Kasumi. Yeah, Deno chose the worst person to befriend, but at the same time the best. She needs a friend, but everyone's going to treat him cruelly because of it.
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 05:15 pm · For: The Feeling Of Dying
Yuki's powers are so fascinating, I like the way you describe how she can feel other people's spirits. Your writing gets better throughout this fic, and in this chapter, there was a lot more depth in how you described everything. Great work.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so happy and thrilled that you're reading!:D
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 05:11 pm · For: Arrival at the Tear Village
Awesome job! I love Kasumi's protective nature of Deno. She really has grown to like him in the span of a few hours, hasn't she? Her attitude towards the Leaf ninja is very understandable, considering it seems that anyone she meets (besides Deno) has tried to hurt her.
I hope Deno lives. I can't wait to read more... which I shall go do now, in fact :D
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 05:09 pm · For: Curse of Thorns
Oh, I forgot to say, the beginning of this chapter seems to be cut off, like you're missing the first half of the first sentence. Just thought I should point out.
Author's Response: Thanks for pointing that out. It has now been fixed, though.
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 05:01 pm · For: Curse of Thorns
Oh my gosh, you almost killed Deno! I was so freaked out because I really thought he was going to die! And he just got here!
I was right though, Kasumi and Deno are very nice together. He almost gave his life for her, and she went demon on that awful man. Though her stranges powers really have me wondering just how much of a demon she really is...
There were a few mistakes in this chapter. Most were instances where you forgot to add in the little yet important words, such as 'not', 'would', etc.
Other than that, this was awesome! I wonder who she bumped into, I hope it's someone nice. Maybe the Leaf team? That'd be convenient. Anyhoo... great job!
Author's Response: You would think by now you'd expect me to be cruel to my ocs all the time. Apparently you haven't yet, though. I thinks it's extra cruel that he was just cured to almost die again. It is nice to see the two of them together. I miss when things were that easy. Then again, it's me. Things are never easy for my ocs. Yeah, when Deno deems someone innocent, he'll protect those who try to hurt them for no reason. So yeah, he tries to prevent unnecessary pain. And Kasumi..... Kasumi is definitely difficult. Don't worry, they're nice. The people after that, though.....
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 04:24 pm · For: The Second Mission
Hotaru is definitely a very sweet girl, I like her already. Just the way she is so caring towards others is a very kind attribute. She was so sweet to Taishi, it was very touching.
And actually, to see Taishi so upset was very surprising. It makes me wonder what happened to his teammate. I can only imagine that this person died on the mission to the Tear Village; no wonder Taishi is so uncomfortable. I hope we see more plot developments centered on Taishi ;)
Nice chapter! I'm off to read more now!
Author's Response: Hehe, I'm glad you like Hotaru. She is a very gentle-natured girl, I think that's why I like writing about her so much. And writing her with Taishi is even more fun. Yeah, you'll find out about Taishi's teammate later on, but for now, I can tell you that your assumption isn't too far off ;) Thanks for the awesome review, Rainbow-chan! I appreciate the amazing feedback!
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 04:06 pm · For: Waking to Fate
Hehe, those two together are quite fun to read about. Their little spout with just asking questions was hilarious.
There were a couple spelling mistakes here; more of like 'week' when you meant to say 'weak' kind of thing.
But the intro to Deno and Kasumi's relationship was still very fun to read about, and it makes me eager to see more of them together. Kasumi really is an odd one, and Deno, I can tell already, is a sweetheart. Can't wait to read more of these guys!
Author's Response: Deno and Kasumi together are really fun. I think this was one of my favorites when we first started because of that little argument between them. After that, though, there scenes get more..... complicated? I'm not sure the right word to describe it. Well, sorry about the mistakes. I never paid attention when I was writing the Rp back then because I was too busy focusing on just getting it out since I wasn't sure whether or not DestinyGirl or Silverwolf would. Back then we didn't have a writing schedule like now. Yeah, they're kinda opposite of each other, which is one of the reasons I think Kasumi and Deno are so fun.
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 03:57 pm · For: In Death's Grip
Ooh, another captivating intro to not one but two OCs. How wonderful :D
I really liked this, it had me pulled into the story. I don't even know that much about Deno, or Kasumi for that matter, and I found myself worried for both of them. Excellent way of getting your readers interested, Sasaui!
Author's Response: Yep, two of my ocs are jumping into action here. One of them just happens to be my favorite, too. Yeah, those two are two that need worried about. They seem to attract trouble, as you'll see in later chapters. Then again, when is fate ever nice to heroes of a story?
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 03:18 pm · For: Night Walk
This chapter was much better than the earlier ones in terms of pace, DestinyGirl. It definitely had a better flow to it.
As for the actual plot, I'm very curious as to who this spirit girl was. I wonder how important she is, it seemed like a very casual encounter... hmm...
You girls have me hooked on this story. I can't wait to read more. It's so nice to see that I have many more chapters to read :D
Author's Response:Thanks! This was when we decided to make it into a fanfiction so I was trying to get more into my fanfiction-writing element... Maybe I should have started that way in the beginning.
She'll turn up later on *wink, wink*
Haha, the more chapters the merrier!:D I'm glad you're hooked!XD
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 03:14 pm · For: The Warrior Princess
I quite liked this chapter. Another very simple chapter with a well-placed intro to a new OC. The three of you ladies have a very nice skill with introducing the main OCs, it's a very natural flow into the plot and story.
Nice job on this chapter. Honestly, after reading this and realizing that you (Wolf-chan) wrote it, I think I have discovered the differences in writing style among you three. I sure hope my observations are correct, otherwise, it'll just be awkward if I refer to someone as the wrong person :P
Anyway, great job!
Author's Response: Well, first off, I'm very excited that you decided to read this! And I'm glad you liked this chapter and my introduction to Hanabira. Hmm, I guess all three of us really do have noticeably different writing styles. That's very observant of you, and flattering in a way, since you took the time to decipher the different styles. Anyway, thanks so much for the review, Rainbow-chan! You're awesome!
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 03:05 pm · For: Departure, Team Neji
I don't know if it's the fact that this was once a roleplay and not originally meant to be a fanfic, but the writing seems a bit choppy and not as descriptive as I think you are capable of being. The actions and plot developments you create are very interesting, don't get me wrong, but this was, as you said, very short, and it didn't have a nice flow to it.
I'm sorry if that was a bit harsh, but I do find this story oddly compelling, even if I haven't yet reached the main plot yet. I really do enjoy this.
Author's Response:Yes, it first started out as an Rp. In all of the Rp's I've been in it's like that, choppy and what-not. I honestly didn't know whether or not we were going to turn it into a fanfiction and post it here. But we decided to do it in the end and so I just kept it like it was.
Oh no, you weren't being harsh at all! I enjoy instructive criticism. Thanks so much for taking an interest into our crazy little story!:D
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 03:00 pm · For: The Tiger Child
I like your ability to describe everyone's actions. It's very natural while also allowing us to not be thrown off track of what's going on.
I also like the rivalry between Taishi and Kiba, it's just one of those things that is always thought about but never written: the whole thing with dogs vs cats (or tigers, in this case).
There were a couple times when I got lost with who was talking because there were a lot of 'He said...' instead of the actual name or even a description of the speaker. That's me personally though.
I really enjoyed this chapter though, nice job!
Author's Response: I'm glad that you see it that way. I was afraid I was just throwing in Taishi with the two canon characters. The rivalry between Kiba and Taishi is really fun and there's a really nice scene with the two of them farther on that I'm sure you'll enjoy. Seeing how far we are in updating this, though, I don't think you'll get to read it for a while, though. It was kinda cliche, I guess, to do cats vs dogs, but I thought it was an interesting thing and not one done too much. As for he said.... I'm not used to here being all males, so I guess I wasn't thinking there. Sorry. I hope I don't do so in future chapters.
Name: Rainbow Fire (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 02:50 pm · For: A Spirit Girl And Her Crush
I had been meaning to read this for quite some time, but I never got around to it. I'm terribly sorry about that.
This was a very simple yet interesting way to start the story. A mission assignment is always a nice way to create a setup for the plot.
There were a couple mistakes in terms of grammar and spelling, such as mixing up your and you're. Little things like that.
Anyway, I'm off to read the next chapter!
Author's Response:No worries! Everyone's busy with their own lives, I totally understand. I'm just happy you wanted to read it!:D
Thanks! I had it in my head when I first started thinking about doing an Rp with my two besties: Silverwolf and Sasaui.
Thanks for pointing it out. At the time, I didn't have spell-check, so that always messes me up when I'm typing fast.
Yay! I hope you enjoy it!:D Thx again for reading and reviewing!
Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 21/02/12 - 10:51 am · For: Let's Hit the Road
i did see them..
thing is i hav read sooo many stories..
n m unable to review all atm =(
stupid exams >_<
iwant to review all bt m unable to =(
And Wooo~ i am number 7 on most profilic reviews :P
all coz of you =D
i thought of encouraging writers by givin reviews =D well i just hope they do.
Author's Response: Oh, okay, I was just wondering. Just making sure you're not totally lost or something in the plot. I'm sorry you have exams; good luck with them. Oh, wow, congratulations on making it to the top ten! That's awesome! I don't think it's really because of me, but the compliment is cool anyway!
Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 18/02/12 - 03:08 am · For: Let's Hit the Road
=D
nice chapter..
and drama indeed =P
n even if u hadn't mentioned that you were the writer of this chap... i woulda gueesed (correction= all who knw u woulda guessed) that its u with tht kiba sappiness xDD
anyways... Hotaru is an awesome character... =D well u do need a member in the team who keeps them team together n stops it from fallng apart at times like this =D
n haha... hanabira's temper is a little... :L annoying xP
n lol at Naruto.. XDDDD i lol'd at that :P though i knw it'd b really bad for the team... i mean seriously.. stilli longd to see a fight there :P naruto vs hanabira.. XD one on one
anyways... kiba n taishi make pretty good friends :P
that "oh bira" kept me loling for long xDDD seriously... xP
awesome drama n stuff...
you fit in hana's upset atmosphere with her father pretty well in here =D n hotaru n hana were good acadamy friends huh..? ^_^
well... i can imagine hotaru comforting almost every upset friend herself being bupset herself n still not hesitating... n i wouldnt b surprised.. she really is an awesome character..
n hmm.. yh Hanabira though hot-headed, still seems as the most appropriate leader atm.
Kool job at this capter uruphoo.. =D
Author's Response: I love drama XD Huh, I didn't think of that; it's just that with this story, I figured I would put my name so any confused readers will know who's writing the chapter. But I guess with Kiba in it, it's pretty obvious :P
Hotaru is such a sweetheart, I love writing about her calm and collected nature. Hanabira, on the other hand, is impatient and pretty much not a people person. That makes it fun to write about her too ;D Naruto tends to get on people's nerves, even when he doesn't mean it. I don't think there will ever be a fight between Naruto and Hanabira, so your hopes may be crushed in that aspect.
I loved that little scene with Kiba and Taishi. They're such rivals, but I like making them look like friends. Hanabira's past doesn't play too much part in the early stages of this story, but I'm hoping to make it more major as this arc goes on. Hotaru is very sweet, and Hanabira is so emotionally unstable sometimes, so it's nice to bring those two together.
I'm glad you liked this chapter! Hmm, you didn't review a few of the other chapters before this, did you see them? Because some important stuff does happen, and I don't want you to be confused later on. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 16/01/12 - 01:10 pm · For: The Second Mission
wow wow wow...
tht ws so sweet... :)
such a cute ending... :D
i dnt quite remember taiishi's bio...
so is she his ex...? or mom(obv nt mom since mission) or sis...?
anyways... kool chappie... uruphoo... :D
Author's Response: Mom? Where do you get these ideas from? No, Hotaru is a friend. Not his ex, they haven't really started a romantic connection just yet. There will be, don't worry ;) I'm glad you thought it was sweet. That's what I was aiming for. Thanks for reading and reviewing, you're awesome!
Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 16/01/12 - 12:19 pm · For: Waking to Fate
haha kool...!!
whoeva did this chapter is epic...!!! i lov such word wars xD
sasaui i think.. its plain awesome... xD
awesome job wth this chapter... :D.? idk...
Author's Response: Yeah, I'm (Sasaui) the one who did this chapter. I'm really glad you enjoyed it, Shadow-san. I also enjoyed this chapter. I like getting those two together because to me it's just always fun, and this scene was one of my favorite to write. I hope you continue to read and enjoy the story, Shadow-san!
Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 09/01/12 - 02:44 am · For: In Death's Grip
lol...
i knw hw she got Deno...
n i meant famous as in he is ur creation so... xP
u, uruphoo, kayli n the othrs are awesome authors afterall :D
Author's Response: Hahaha. I highly doubt that. I don't think anyone even knew his name before Silverwolf began to write about him. I'm hoping to one day make his name famous in other ways, though, so that more than just the people of Tonfa (and possibly Fanfiction.net) know of him.
Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 08/01/12 - 11:32 am · For: In Death's Grip
deno... :O
poor guy :(
n wait... who pr wat exactly is mr.whooper...?? O.o
n wer'd he suddenly disappear wen kasumi came...?
kasumi n deco Famous names from 2 of Uruphoo's fics... :P
Kool chappie... :D
Keep up the awesome job... whoeva this is :D
Author's Response: Yeah, Deno didn't have the best of luck then. As for who Mr. Whooper is, he's in Deno's bio, so you can check out there. Do you mean where Mr. Whooper was? If so, he's dead and he's just having memories of him. If you mean Deno, he's still there. Yeah, I never meant to use Kasumi (this is Sasaui) as a name, but I just kinda ended up doing it and it's stuck. As for Deno, she got the name from me from how I gave her the name. *face palm* I never expected Deno's name to be made famous by anyone but me. It's so strange. I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter, Shadow-san!
Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 27/12/11 - 10:19 am · For: A Spirit Girl And Her Crush
oh n yh...
OMG Uruffu...!!
i forgot to wish ya... sorry...
~~Compliments of the Season~~
Merry Christmas n Happy New Yearv to ya all....!! :DD
Author's Response: Hmm, I don't think I was allowed to respond to this earlier :P Well, now that I can, thanks for the good wishes!
Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 27/12/11 - 10:07 am · For: The Warrior Princess
lol...
i like taishi better than Kiba... :P
n i didn't like dog-breath's(no offense 2 ya uruffu) or 'bira's' treatment to him... :/.
though i love hw she scared d crap outta the Orange idiot..... xD
usually i dnt admire grumpy guys like her... bt since she hates(well... nt infatuated or u know treats him like a stuffed toy or somethin)Naruto, i like her ^_^
i just hate Naruto at times. =_=
anyways... the growing rivalry between the Two clan heirs... is really interesting n kool...
lol... since this chapter is bout 'bira'
she seems a pretty unique chAracter... brooding class... bt still very weak or wen it comes to love or crushes xD nt exactly weak... bt still ya know wt i mean...
good job with this chapter n the chAracters...
waitin to read more of these chAracters n their abilities... :D
keep up the awesome job guys... :D
Author's Response: Well, fine then! I see how it is! Hehe, just kidding. Nah, I don't mind that you like Taishi better than Kiba. It's a matter of opinion. Hanabira is a rather grumpy girl, so she did come across as rather mean to Taishi... and Naruto, of course. But I'm glad that you found some interest in her. She is very brooding, and I tried to make her unique (as I do with all of my characters), but of course, she has a soft spot for Kiba ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing! I appreciate your feedback! Oh, and um, I can't respond to your review where you wished me a merry Christmas because it's not under a chapter that I posted (that goes for future reference as well). So Merry Christmas to you as well!
Name: Hinata-Snow (Anonymous) · Date: 21/12/11 - 04:47 pm · For: Departure, Team Neji
Yo, it's me again. New chapter! Again.
But onto this story. First off, nothing seems more appropriate than "Fate's chosen." seeing as how Neji was off on his "Fate" rants for so long. He was not nice.
But of course the cat and dog would hate each other. I can't wait to see where this is going. Personally, I'm cheering for Kiba.
Hehe…so this is taking place Shippuden, huh? Don't forget that Neji is a Jonin, 'kay?
I really like this story, I wonder what Yuki's story is? Especially since I too call myself Snow. (Hinata-Snow)
So have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Years, Serenna!
Author's Response:Hi, Gabe!:D Thx for reading and reviewing to our story, it means a lot. ^_^ Thx, and yeah, I like the new Neji more....
Haha, I won't forget! Yuki's story is a long one, so be prepared!:P
You too, Gabe! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!:D
Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 21/12/11 - 08:39 am · For: A Spirit Girl And Her Crush
hmm...
the teary eyes workd...=_=
n its ok... xD
i didnt exctly know the meaning either...
bt wateva...
~Compliments of the season~ :D
Author's Response: Haha, thx so much. Happy Holidays!
Name: shadow9000 (Signed) · Date: 20/12/11 - 10:37 pm · For: A Spirit Girl And Her Crush
shadow-chan...? O.o
dosent chan mean female? O_O'
Author's Response: Sorry! I actually read it in a manga once and it was used on a boy but then I looked up its meaning and did a major face plant! It won't happen again, sorry shadow-san! *insert anime teary eyes*