I'm not gonna lie, the review form really does scare me. When I use it myself, I mean; I don't mind it when you use it :) But I'm going to try and hit on all the important topics anyway.

In terms of mistakes, I can never tell if comma usage is different in certain areas because of the British vs. American style. So I'll lay off that. The only real mistake I saw was right down there at the end. My clan head, as you said he was 'a little more hesitant about speaking than his college had been earlier.' I believe it's colleague?

Other than that, the description of the scene was excellent, as always. I expect nothing less from you. I love how you used all the characters. Naomi really was a great leader in this situation, and everyone who was opposing her was portrayed in a very realistic manner, which I really enjoyed. And now the plot thickens as the jounin ready themselves, so I'm really excited to see what happens next.

Nice job, Batty O'Nee-chan! I can't wait to read more, keep up the great work!