(grand and ludicrously expensive opening theme, outsourced to the lowest bidder for production. Cut to scene of stuffy-headed bureaucrat sitting behind a desk)
Censor: Due to the moral outraged expressed at the last edition of “And Now For Something Completely Different,” the writer, producer and directors responsible have all been sacked.
(cut to shot of a guillotine)
Censor: We wish to apologize for the heinously bad and offensive jokes made by the writer, and will now be replacing “And Now For Something Completely Different” with a new feature dedicated to be much more sensitive to the wishes of the fan fiction archive audience. Enjoy.
(scene changes to the set of a television special, “The All Yaoi Smut Hour”. A man with long hair, dressed in drag with red lipstick, black lingerie and stiletto heels sits patiently with his legs crossed on an easy chair)
Dr. Frankenfurter: Welcome to “The All Yaoi Smut Hour”. I am your host, Dr. Frankenfurter. Ooh, I can tell you are just shuddering with….anticipation! Myess… This is the only show that is all 100 percent Grade A Yaoi Smut all the time!
(applause}
Dr. Frankenfurter: Since actually having plot would take up too much precious yaoi time, for the next hour I will be showing you pictures of penises. I hope you—
(cut back to the Censor)
Censor: ...We apologize once again for this silliness. Again as in last time those responsible have been sacked and those responsible for the previous sacking have also been sacked. Now, on with the show!
(static buzz, cut to scene of Naruto and Sakura leaning against the exterior wall of a movie studio. Naruto is smoking a cigarette, and talking animatedly. The camera zooms in for a closer look)
Naruto: …I mean, I’m about ready to just go and shoot the writing staff. Y’know what I mean? If I have to say “-dattebayo” one more time, I’m going on strike. *takes a drag*
Sakura: Tell me about it. Everyone and their brother hates my character. I seriously think that Kishimoto-san hates womyn. Would it kill him to have intelligent, strong female lead who doesn’t act like a ditzy air-head around Sasuke or some other male character?
Naruto: It sucks having to act with a character who’s a fricking Gary Stu. Sasuke this, Sasuke that; I’m starting hate myself just being around Mr. Perfect. *takes another drag*
Sakura: Speaking of being around Mr. Perfect, have you seen the scripts for the upcoming episodes?
Naruto: Yeah, what about ‘em?
Sakura: I don’t get any more action scenes! I’m back to being useless Sakura once more!
Naruto: *extinguishes cigarette* Well, at least you still get all those hammerspace moments where you get to beat the leaving daylights out of my character…
Sakura: Please, that joke got worn out very thin when Akane beat Ranma around for a couple hundred chapters.
Naruto: Wha?! Akane? Ranma? Who are those people?
Sakura: *sighs* Nevermind Naruto, Never mind…
Naruto: Well, your role can’t be all bad, can it? I mean, you did get one kickass fight scene.
Sakura: One! Just one Naruto! I mean, that’s it. I’m joining W.I.T.C.H. and we’re taking down this oppressive patriarchy in the show.
Naruto: W.I.T.C.H.? What’s that?
Sakura: The Womyn’s International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell. *holds up gloved fist* Pink power! All power to the People!
(cut back to censor)
Censor: Once again, we are dreadfully sorry for the author so rudely inserting his feminist and socialist political opinions into the fic. He has been hunted down and “sacked”. That’s it. No more. We’re through with this existentialist post-modern psycho-babble about oppression and liberation. All future installments of this fic will be replaced with a fun, angsty romantic comedy about teenagers and their loads of real problems.
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Chapter notes: I couldn't resist working on another sketch for this. XD
I'll give a cookie and a free fic promotion to whomever can guess all the references in here. Just a little audience participation.
Chapter end notes: I know what you're thinking: "Lol wut?"
Trust me. I have only begun to play with your head. >:)