“A year, Sakura, a year and Sasuke-kun still hasn’t come back. Do you know how testy the other fangirls are getting? I think they are going to riot soon. We need to do something fast.” Ino told Sakura in the privacy of her bedroom. They were having another “What can we do without Sasuke” meeting. Ever since Sasuke had gone off to get trained *coughrapedcough* by Orochimaru, the two top Sasuke fangirls had been freaking out.
“I don’t know. I think it is time we find a replacement. Just until Sasuke-kun comes back. Naruto said he was really close to getting him back, but in the mean time, drastic times call for drastic measures.” Sakura said, jumping off the frilly pink thing that she called a bed.
“But who?” the question lingered in the air. Who indeed. Who could ever even come close to meeting Sasuke standards?
“Shikamaru?” Ino asked hopefully.
“No, Ino. How about Gaara?” Sakura asked
“No, too creepy.” Ino replied shivering at the thought of Gaara killing off million of fangirls with his creepy sand.
The two girls thought for a moment, which was very hard for at least one of them. Then Sakura was hit with inspiration. For once.
“How about we make a replacement?” she shrieked in her excitement of actually thinking of something.
“Make a replacement? What do you mean?” Ino asked, after of course getting over the fact Sakura could think. (Okay I’ll stop with the stupid Sakura jokes Hehehe)
“You know make the perfect boy, handsome, funny, just like Sasuke, but not! It will be perfect! Like a coin operated boy!” Sakura said practically jumping up and down. Ino shook her head.
“How do you suggest we go about making this coin operated boy?” Ino asked rolling her eyes. She couldn’t put Legos together there was no way in hell she could build a whole boy toy thing.
“We could ask Shikamaru to do it for us! Or you could ask him he would probably listen to you.” Sakura said winking her eyes suggestively. Ino blushed.
“Okay fine so we get Shikamaru to build it for us and then what? We just prance around town and tell the fangirls a new boy is in town. Then when Sasuke comes back we tell them the new boy moved away?” Ino replied sarcastically. Sakura nodded so fast her hair made that weird whooshing sound. Ino sighed.
“Well I can’t think of anything better. Let’s go find Shikamaru.”
Coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but I turn him on and he comes to life
automatic joy that is why I want a coin operated boy
They found Shikamaru at his house, sleeping. It was only seven in the evening and he was sleeping. Ino sighed and pushed him off his couch, yelling at him to get his lazy ass up.
“Troublesome women,” he mumbled then looked sleepy eyed at them, “What do you want that is so important you had to wake me up?”
“We want you to build us a coin operated boy.” Sakura proclaimed proudly, almost striking a Gai pose before she stopped herself. She had been spending way too much time with Lee.
Shikamaru looked at the girl as if she had just said the way to cure the common cold was to stab a block of cheese. He looked at Ino, who was hiding her face in shame.
“What?”
“We want you to build a robot of a boy that is operated by putting coins in him preferably looking like this.” Sakura said holding up a nice picture of Sasuke. Ino sighed, it sounded even stupider when Sakura put it like that.
“And why should I do that? It seems like a stupid girl idea.” He said lazily getting back onto the couch and lying down.
“Please Shika, could you just try? It would mean the world to me.” Ino said, softly fluttering her eyelashes at him with a slight pout on her lips.
Shikamaru sighed; she always knew what would get to him.
“Fine, I’m not promising anything, but I’ll try. What a drag.” He mumbled and slide off the couch heading towards his bedroom. He ripped the picture from Sakura’s grasp and slammed the door in there faces.
Sakura clapped her hands in delight, smiling at Ino. Ino gave her a small half smile. It was kind of fun spending time with Sakura again with out having to fight over Sasuke.
They sat outside Shikamaru’s door, hearing various sounds of work, the sound of a torch being lighted, metal banging on metal, the sound of a screw being turned, and other various sounds.
Finally after three long hours of waiting, Shikamaru came out, removing his welding mask. He gave a small smirk at the girls.
“I’ve done it.”
Made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
I will never leave my bedroom
I will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day, Ino and Sakura called a Sasuke fanclub meeting. Thousands of girls showed up. Ino and Sakura twittered in excitement. After having some fun trying out their creation last night they couldn’t wait to reveal him to the insane fangirls.
“Girls, as you know Sasuke-kun has been gone for a one whole year now,” A wave of sobs and screams came at them then quieted down as Ino went on,” Me and Sakura have called this meeting to inform you that I think we have found a temporary replacement. Meet Ryo!” The pushed their coin operated boy in front of the crowd who, ohhed and awed at the very handsome creation.
He had dark ocean blue eyes, pale Sasuke skin, with black raven haired that was shaggy and feel into his eyes again and again. Shikamaru had pierced his ears and giving him spiky sliver studs. The girls had dressed him in tight black jeans and a half way open blue button up shirt. Well let’s just say HE WAS HOT!!! Sakura and Ino giggled at each other as their fellow fangirls gawked.
“Do you accept him as a temporary replacement for Sasuke?” Ino asked.
Squeals of happiness came and the girls stampeded towards Ryo. Sakura and Ino screamed, grabbed Ryo, and ran.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Coin operated boy
all the other real ones that I destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and I’ll
never let him go and I’ll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy......
Sakura and Ino hide at Sakura’s house with Ryo after many hours of running from the thousands of fangirls they had finally escaped.
“Well that worked better than expected.” Sakura said, grinning ear to ear.
“Yeah I guess, but now what do we do with him? We can’t keep him forever.” Ino said looking at Ryo who smiled at her with an oh so dreamy smile. Ino thought, not for the first time, that she wished he were real. Then again even Ryo didn’t compare to her feelings for Shikamaru.
“Maybe we could let him live at Sasuke’s old mansion.” Sakura asked thoughtfully.
“I guess it’s the only place we can put him.” Ino said and sighed.
Sakura smiled at Ryo, who smiled back. ‘He is so great! He smiles! Sasuke never smiled at me!’ Sakura thought squealing in her head. Inner Sakura fisted the air, ‘CHA! We rock!’
But even as the girls were lost in their thoughts, looking at Ryo, they couldn’t help but miss Sasuke. So they had even begun to loose their feelings for him? Yes, even Sakura, she had started to look at Lee more and more when Sasuke.
They still missed him and being stupid around him, his cold glares and words, the looks they caught him giving him Naruto that the boy himself didn’t catch.
Sure they also knew Sasuke and Naruto liked each other and had been planning to get them together when Sasuke had left.
It had been a horrible day, that day. Naruto was heartbroken not that he showed it in public, no, but Sakura could see it and it was awful.
Sakura and Ino both missed him terribly, but in that year he had been gone they had slowly built back their friendship and now were working on their new love interests, but still everyday they thought of him. That’s another reason they built Ryo. To maybe replace that horrible empty space that filled everyone’s hearts and minds. They hoped it would work.
Finally Ino and Sakura shook themselves out of their daze and got up to bring Ryo to his new home.
this bridge was written to make you feel smitten
with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
I didn’t think so but I’m still convincible
will you persist even after I bet you
a billion dollars that I’ll never love you
will you persist even after I kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
The next couple months were great. Ryo proved to be an excellent replacement. Shikamaru had built him with great ninja skills as well as great looks. He could have easily matched Sasuke’s skills or even Naruto’s. He was charming and kind, smart and funny. The perfect guy. And everything was fine.
I’m dying to lose it...
I want it
I want you
I want a coin operated boy.
And if I had a star to wish on
for my life I can’t imagine
any flesh and blood could be his match
I can even take him in the bath
Ryo, Ino, and Sakura sat in Sakura’s room, laughing and remembering the old days, when Sasuke was home.
Ryo had been acting a bit weird though. Saying things he shouldn’t, doing dangerous things that were called accidents later. It was kind of scarring Ino and Sakura.
“So what else did you beautiful ladies and Sasuke do back then?” Ryo asked, in his charming way.
“Oh Ino, remember the first day when we fought to be the first ones in class so we could sit by Sasuke?” Sakura squealed happily, giggling at the memory.
“Oh yeah and then Naruto kissed Sasuke and we beat him up?” Ino said giggling as well.
“Good Times.” They said in unison, giggling together.
“You know girls, I don’t think Sasuke was ever worth your time, in fact I don’t think the boys you are with now are worth your time.” Ryo stated coldly, looking at them both carefully with fake ocean blue eyes.
“What? Ryo, I think I love Shikamaru and I know Sakura loves Rock Lee, maybe Sasuke was a waste of time, but the boys now aren’t.” Ino said, laughing nervously, giving Sakura a “I think we should get out of here” look.
“Oh but don’t you think I could do so much better then them, Ino? Don’t you think I could make your lives so much better then both of them combined?” Ryo asked, moving closer towards them.
“What? Ryo we love them and besides you’re not even real.” Sakura almost screamed backing away with Ino.
“But I’m real enough Sakura, real enough to love you both.” Ryo said grabbing their arms to keep them from backing away anymore.
“Ryo let us go. We don’t love you back! You aren’t real!” Ino screamed and tried to pull her arm away. She cursed herself for having her kunai so far away.
“I will never let you go, Ino or you Sakura. I will make you love me back!” Ryo shouted and held up a sharp knife he had kept concealed from them until now.
“What are you going to do with that Ryo? Put it down Ryo. Let us go Ryo!” Sakura and Ino both pleaded to him.
“I didn’t want to do this, but you ladies leave me no choice. Don’t worry I fix you right back up when I am sure you will love me.” Ryo said calmly, giving them a small smile that had before looked so charming, now looked evil and horrifying.
Ino and Sakura screamed as the Knife started down. They closed their eyes waiting for the blade to come down and slash off their skin and let their blood spill, but after a moment or two realizing nothing was happening they opened their eyes. They saw that Ryo ran out of power and needed another coin.
Yeah right.
Coin operated boy
he may not be real experienced with girls
but I know he feels like a boy should feel
isn’t that the point that is why I want a
Coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that he’s thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why I want
a coin operated boy.
The next day they had Shikamaru destroy Ryo with out telling him why. They have nightmares of the coin operated boy almost every night now, but are reassured each night by their wonderful boyfriends. And even after a few more months of waiting Naruto finally brought Sasuke back. Even if he hadn’t Ino and Sakura knew that they never wanted to have another coin operated boy again.
Then again maybe they should have thrown Ryo’s pieces away better. Then again how were they supposed to know someone else would find the need for a coin operated boy? Poor Hinata.
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Chapter notes: Okay so I got bored and I have been listening to my iPod to much and I heard one of my favorite songs, Coin Operated Boy by The Dresden Dolls and I just got this idea lodged into my brain and had to write it.
I don't own Coin Operated Boy, The Dresden Dolls, or Naruto.