As open as she liked to be with her son, she didn't think he'd appreciate her whipping out her boob. So she did what many breast-feeding mothers did and stepped into the bathroom instead.
She took a minute adjusting her clothes, getting everything properly set up before letting the child begin and then examining her surroundings. She was a naturally nosy person, but as she tried to be polite she hadn't actually stuck her head in the bathroom just to look around yet.
It seemed like a nice enough bathroom, except it opened into another bathroom that was the exact reflection of the one she was in. It seemed a little odd, really; you could stand in one shower and look right into the other shower. It was a little voyeuristic, but, well, it was her kid. She leaned over the counter, trying to get a better idea of how to get in there. There was only one door into the bathroom as far as she knew; maybe you were supposed to climb over the counter.
No, that wasn't it either. There was a pane of glass in the way if nothing else. She poked at it, vaguely annoyed. How very, very odd.
The door to the other bathroom opened, and she watched curiously as a tall, slender man with silver hair--
Waaaiit. Kakashi must be home early; Iruka had told her he was out doing something. She'd arrived unexpectedly, following the return address on the last letter she'd gotten from him.
She felt rather guilty for not recognizing him on sight but, well, she hadn't seen him in twenty years, so it was probably to be expected.
She reached out and knocked on the glass, trying to get his attention.
He looked up. Still wearing that silly mask, she realized. He stared at her blankly. Well, it *had* been twenty years, and she probably should have sent a letter warning him she'd planned on showing up, except it hadn't really been planned. When your current only son sends a letter informing you that not only is he as queer as a double-dicked tree frog, he's moved in with the man he's been dating for over a year, well, impromptu is the least of your worries.
When he *kept* just staring at her, she signed, 'You look just like your dad!' with a bright, happy smile.
What she could see of his face--only the top half, and she supposed *that* was the Sharingan she'd heard about--went very, very white.
Kakashi sank to the floor, out of sight.
She leaned over the sink, suddenly concerned, and tried to see him. Damn it, there had to be a door into the other bathroom!
She could make out the top of a mop of silver hair, and not much else. She rapped on the glass again.
The mop jerked. The head tilted up until she could see eyes once more. Then it vanished entirely.
Her brow furrowed and she disengaged the child from her nipple. She tucked everything away and stuck her head outside the door, still trying to find the other entrance. "Iruka, how do you get into the other bathroom?"
"Oh, fuck, the blinds are open again? I mean--"
"Oh, it's all right, I don't care if you cuss," she said. "Boba here isn't old enough to understand you anyway." She gave the child a slight wiggle. "How do I get into the other bathroom?"
"Uh . . ." Iruka scratched the back of his neck, then continued, "that's, um, okay, here's the thing. The other bathroom isn't really . . . here."
"You know, it's vague answers like that that made me move out of this town," Sumiko said dryly. "Can you just tell me what's going on, or is it classified?"
"It's kind of a hole. To somewhere else."
"To where Kakashi is staying right now?"
"Uh . . . to where *a* Kakashi is staying right now," Iruka said tentatively.
She was quiet for a moment. "I'm going to make tea and you are going to explain that in a manner that makes a damn bit of sense," she said in a rather cheerful voice, considering the strangeness of the situation. "Here, hold this," and she handed over Boba.
**
He couldn't breathe. He really couldn't.
The last time he'd seen his mother had been--
Fuck, he couldn't *remember* the last time he'd seen his mother. He'd *heard* her the day of his ninth birthday, when he'd gone to her jail and she'd refused to see him.
But he remembered her smile, even if he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen it. That had definitely been her smile.
She'd seemed . . . happy. Not just happy, but happy to see *him.*
No. No, that wasn't his mother. It was some nasty trick by that pussyassed Kakashi on the other side of the mirror because he'd tortured that pussyassed Iruka. Yes, yes, that was it. That was it exactly and--
She'd had a child.
She'd been *soft* looking, and not so scarred, and *nice.* And she'd been happy to see him.
He put his head between his knees and focused on breathing. Breathing was important. It helped do . . . living things. Like . . . living.
The world was spinning rapidly, and he was pretty sure that was a sign of hyperventilation. Or not enough air. He decided to breathe more just in case.
She'd been holding a child. *Her* child, apparently, because there had been a boob involved. It was something he'd really, REALLY never wanted to see, but it could have been worse.
He wasn't sure how it could have been worse. It had been THERE, all white and boob-like. If he hadn't been interested in them before, he *really* wasn't interested in them now.
Yes. Focus on the boob. A boob he could handle. It was . . . pale. And smooshy. With a little baby sucking on it.
And it was connected to his *mother* and maybe fixating on his mother's boob wasn't the best way to deal with a situation, but . . . but . . .
His mother was a traitor, locked in a cell far away where she couldn’t do any more harm.
His mother had smiled at him across the mirror.
His mother wasn't a plump woman with milk-filled boobies rearing children in the Pussyassed Kakashi's apartment. Iruka's. Whoever's. Pussies.
It had been his imagination. Stress. Yes, too much sleep. That was the problem. It was gone now, so he could just get up and walk out--
He inched his way up the wall.
She was standing there. The PussyIruka was standing there, too, burping the little thing. Child. Baby. Thing.
They were looking really very concerned.
It was his *mother.*
'Are you okay?' Iruka signed.
Kakashi swallowed.
'She just dropped by without warning!'
Dropped by. Dropped. By. She lived--what? Where? And she *came by?* Not his mother. It couldn't possibly really be his mother, except there she stood and she was--healthy and pretty and happy and-- and--
Really worried looking. About him. Or at least, at him. In his general direction, with eyes that happened to be focusing on his face at that moment.
He couldn't breathe. He slid to the floor again, and focused on the tile. Yes. Tile was nice. Tile was white. And clean.
He needed to bleach the grout again. He could deal with bleaching grout. He would just sit there and focus on bleaching the grout and he could do that. It would be fine. Just fine.
**
"He's got problems. Like a lot of them," Iruka said slowly as the other Kakashi melted out of view again.
"Like what?"
"Like I don't even know." He leaned forward on the counter. Nope, still couldn't see him. "We should probably not be standing here, I don't think we're making it better."
"Is he going to be okay?"
Iruka wasn't entirely certain that he cared. "Probably. He's . . . he's got lots and lots and lots of problems. Your son is very stable and well balanced. Especially when compared to that Kakashi--particularly when compared to him and, um--. Come on, let's not stand here, we're obviously making his day worse."
"Can I--is there a way I can talk to him? I mean, there's no way I can go over there and try to comfort him, right?"
"Noooo," Iruka said. "No, going over there isn't good. Write him a note," he suggested after a moment's hesitation. "We can stick it on the mirror if you really really want to, but it would probably just be best if we tape a sheet over the glass for the duration of your visit."
"That seems . . . silly and slightly excessive, but okay. Can I borrow some paper?" she asked.
The note that was eventually posted on the mirror read,
"Dear Alternate Reality Version of my Kakashi,
"I am very, very sorry to have startled you. I'm apparently dead in your universe, and it was rude of me to appear without any sort of warning.
"Well, in this world I've been remarried for three years now. I don't know if you know that, I don't know when I died--as far as you're concerned (and I have to tell you, it's really rather creepy to think about that.) We've been trying for a while to have a kid and we finally succeeded. Boba is the child, I stepped into the bathroom to feed him, and I'm sorry you saw that--I stepped in to avoid traumatizing anybody (though as a footnote it's a natural process and no one should be ashamed of it.).
"I hope you're doing okay. This Iruka informs me that you have problems and I hope you're working past them. I think he's just exaggerating, but he doesn't seem to want to talk about it.
"You're probably too skinny, just like your father. I look forward to hearing your reply.
"Hugs," and it was signed with a henohenomoheji with breasts. They even had nipples, probably so they didn't look like balls.
"Huh," Iruka said. "Is that how you sign all of your letters?"
"Well, only the ones to him." She shrugged. "He puts that stupid little face in the bottom of all his letters, I figure I can get away without signing my name, too."
**
Iruka stepped through the door and was hit with bleach fumes. His eyes started to water.
Gods, he would be glad when Kakashi finally admitted you didn't need to use *straight* bleach, but could *dilute* it like you were supposed to.
He wandered through the tiny apartment, a single glance showing him Kakashi wasn't in the main room. He frowned. "Kakashi?"
No answer.
Something squeaked in the bathroom though, like rubbing against wet glass. Of course. Cleaning.
He pushed the door open and peered in. "Kakash--" He stopped.
The floor was very, very clean. Very clean.
Kakashi was sitting crosslegged on the bathroom sink, staring at the mirror.
His hands were bleeding. Fingers dragged over glass, and it squeaked again, red streaks following.
Iruka nearly gagged on the bleach fumes. "Kakashi!" he yelled, trying to get the man's attention as his eyes started to water. He stepped inside and flushed the bleach-filled toilet, then reached to open the vent. "Kakashi, what's going *on*?"
There was no answer.
He grabbed bandages from the cupboard and yanked the man's hands away from the glass.
"Wait--" Kakashi said faintly, pulling back. "Leggo."
"Stop it," Iruka snapped, yanking the hands over again.
"I need to read it again--"
"Read it without touching," Iruka said, giving the letter taped to the other side of the mirror a quick glance. Damn it, he *knew* Kakashi had been an ass to the other Iruka, but what had they *done?*
He bandaged as quickly as he could, rinsing the man's hands off first to make sure there was no bleach in the wounds. Then he glanced up at the letter.
He paled at the first few lines. "Oh, shit."
Kakashi didn't answer. He just kept reading. "She breastfeeds," he said softly. "I have a little . . . sibling."
"Uh, sort of," Iruka mumbled. "Why don't we go into the other room?"
"No." The single word was sharper than all the others. "I'm fine." His eyes were red, and the pupil in his normal eye was dilated. High from bleach fumes, likely.
"Okay, look, if I copy the letter will you go out--"
"*No.*" Kakashi said again.
Iruka thought about it. Then he reached up and squeezed the nerve clusters on either side of Kakashi's neck.
Kakashi didn't seem to notice--which was more terrifying than anything else. A moment later, he passed out.
**
He wasn't entirely certain of how much food was left in the fridge, so he just brought boxed lunch home with him. Maybe they could make grocery lists later. Yup, that was the sum total of his evening. Make grocery lists, heck, maybe even buy groceries. Ah, life on the wild side. He loved the off season between the election years of neighboring counties.
He had no sooner walked in the door before a small, squirming little bundle of flesh was thrust at him.
"Here, hold this," Iruka said.
Kakashi took it and looked at Iruka solemnly. "This isn't mine."
"It's more yours than mine," Iruka said cheerfully. "We have company!"
Kakashi paused a second, alternating his gaze between the small child, which was burbling to him, and Iruka, who had that forced cheerful outlook that he'd learned to be afraid of long, long ago. "We do, do we?" he asked. "Are you sure this isn't yours?"
"I'm very certain," Iruka said, still cheerful.
"Oh you're home now!" someone said, arms wrapping around him and the squirming bundle both. "You're still too skinny," she added, pulling back and looking at Kakashi critically.
Kakashi looked back at her blandly. "And you're . . . not . . . skinny," he managed finally, looking vaguely confused for a moment.
She rolled her eyes at him.
"So, um, none of your letters mentioned this," he said, waving the child-thing at her. "I'm assuming this is yours. You take it."
She took it. "His name is Boba, and I didn't want to jinx it."
"That still doesn't explain why you're here and why you didn't write first and--" He took a breath. "Okay, let's start this over. Hi, how are you?"
"You have a very frightened person in your mirror. I left him a note, but I don't think he's stood back up yet. We haven't checked."
Kakashi looked at Iruka. "Which one?"
"The you."
"Ahhh," Kakashi said knowingly. "And you scared him how?"
"Well, I'd stepped in there to breast feed because I didn't want to be rude--"
"*Oh.* So you traumatized him with your breasts then. Okay. Is he still in there? I want to see."
"You just want to point and laugh," Iruka said.
"Well . . . yeah . . ."
"Don't be mean to yourself!" Sumiko said, then stopped and thought about it for a second. ". . . Okay. Nevermind."
"Well, it's nice to see you, Mom. I'm going to go see what you've done to the person in the mirror."
As a group, they wandered back into the bathroom--Kakashi with the other two hovering behind him.
"I can do this alone, you know," he said at the door.
"Well, if you actually have to use the facilities we'll leave, but you can't really expect me to miss this, can you?" his mother asked cheerfully.
Yup, she was still nosy, he thought to himself as he walked in. Some things never changed.
The other Iruka was sitting on the bathroom counter, rubbing his temples. He twisted, rising up to his knees, face turning red on sight. His hand smashed against the glass, a large piece of paper flattening against the mirror. In words that got progressively more scrawled was written,
"What the FUCKING HELL did you do to Kakashi? I've had to DRUG him and now he's NEVER going to eat ANYTHING I make EVER AGAIN and what the hell is WRONG with you people?"
As if they might not have noticed the giant paper, he pointed to it. Repeatedly. And started shouting something, which didn't do much since they couldn't hear him.
Sumiko turned to Kakashi. "I like your Iruka better."
"I do, too," Kakashi agreed calmly. "So, what exactly happened?"
The other Iruka waved and began to sign, 'What are you saying?'
"Uhhh," Iruka stared, and began to sign back. "Just keep talking and I'll translate, okay?"
"I came in to breast feed," Sumiko began to explain to Kakashi, "and I was looking through your very interesting mirror and there was no one in there and I was curious as to why you had two bathrooms and then you walked in--I assumed it was you, looked just like you or how I thought you would look. He just looked at me and I waved and commented how much like your father you looked and he just fell down!"
The Other Iruka looked lost. '*Who* are you?' he signed. 'You--' he paused, swallowed, and signed, 'you didn't date him or something, did you?' He looked at the child, then signed, 'Oh, tell me that isn't--' he just pointed at Kakashi and lifted both eyebrows.
Kakashi and his mother looked at each other and both started laughing. Hysterically.
"Oh, he's cute! Tell him he's cute! Tell him I take it back, I like him!" she said, patting Iruka on the shoulder.
Other Iruka blushed and looked more confused. 'WHAT?'
"No, wait, I'll tell him. Where's the pad and paper?" Sumiko asked, and wrote it down quickly before pressing it against the glass.
Other Iruka blushed more. 'So . . . you're not . . . that's not . . .' he just pointed again.
"No, tell him this isn't Mist Country and we don't do it like that," she laughed. "We apparently do it with other boys," she added, slightly sarcastically, to Kakashi.
"I told you eventually," he muttered.
"I didn't even know he was dating until six months ago!" she told Iruka matter-of-factly. She started writing on the pad again. 'You are so cute, do I really look that young?'
He blushed further and chuckled weakly, scratching the back of his head. Conspicuously, he said nothing.
She sighed and flipped the page over. 'Well, you're still cute. No, I'm his mother.'
Iruka's eyes widened. He bent to scribble furiously, then pressed the paper against the wall. 'I thought you were being held elsewhere for--' 'turning traitor' had been crossed out several times and replaced with, 'crimes against Konoha.'
"I must be a very naughty person in that dimension," she commented, reading the note.
"Well it's not like you're a saint here," Kakashi pointed out dryly.
She just shook her head to the other Iruka, mouthing the word, "Nope."
Iruka sighed hugely and thumped back against the adjoining wall, glaring back toward his own bathroom door. After a minute, he started to write. 'Can I have that note?' he asked, and pointed to what she'd written to Kakashi before--as if they might not understand.
"Erm. I don't know how to give it to him," Kakashi started. "Iruka…?"
"I don't know!"
"Can't you just swap and give him the note?"
"Kakashi's unconscious, right? How unconscious is he?" Iruka asked.
'Really really out,' Other Iruka signed back. 'I *PROMISE.*'
Iruka grabbed the note reluctantly, and they pressed hands against the mirror.
On the other side, a bleach container streaked with blood sat in one corner. Everything else was perfectly clean.
**
"What were you *THINKING*?" Iruka yelled, holding his stomach as it flipped from the shift through.
"I was thinking I didn't want to expose myself to my son's boyfriend," Sumiko answered calmly.
"I--well--" He deflated. "Oh. Yeah. That's a good idea. I just--I'm sorry. It was a little much, and then I got home and there was bleach and it was all bloody and I had to knock him out and--"
"There, there, there, it's okay, here hold Boba, it's all right," she said soothingly, rubbing his shoulders.
"You named it *Boba*?" Kakashi asked incredulously.
On the other side of the mirror, Iruka set the note on the counter, paused a second, grinned, and walked out.
"Wait--" the Other Iruka said. "Wait wait wait--where's he going? Where's he--? SHIT!" He shoved Boba at Kakashi and leapt back onto the sink as if he could shove himself back through. "Damn it! You bastard! Get back--!"
"Well, he's you, so what would you do in his situation?" Kakashi asked.
Iruka looked at him. Paled. "Oh, hell," he muttered weakly, and flumped to his butt on the sink. "Gods, I just hope the plumbing is left intact," he whimpered, head in his hands.
"You know, I've decided I quite like your boyfriend."
"Well, good. Your approval is obviously what I live for," Kakashi said wryly.
"I missed you, too. Nice to actually talk to you face to face for a change."
Iruka watched through split fingers. "You guys actually get along? Well?"
"Well . . . this is the first time I've seen her in . . . fuck, how long has it been?"
"I don't know. Probably too long."
"I was ten, right?"
"Hm, that sounds about right. So twenty years, then."
Iruka frowned and looked up. "How many--? How old are you?" he asked, turning to Kakashi.
"Well let's do the math here," Kakashi said patronizingly, clasping his hands. Except he realized he was holding a child so he did it one-handed, which was quite impressive all by itself. "What's ten plus twenty?"
"Don't be an ass," Iruka snapped. "*My* Kakashi is twenty-SIX." He paled. "Oh, gods. Maybe this isn't another dimension. Maybe this is the *future.*" He slid off the sink and grabbed Sumiko's shoulders. "You've *never* been in jail for turning traitor, right? You're totally sure of that?"
"I spent a night at the local jail for throwing a water balloon filled with paint at the next door neighbor's dog," she answered.
Iruka thought. He turned to Kakashi. "And you didn't--um." He frowned. "Your dad's dead?"
An awkward silence took over the bathroom. Kakashi scratched his head. There was no vocal response.
Iruka rubbed his scar. "Look, I'm *sorry,* but if this is the future I really want to know, so is that a yes or a no?"
"He's dead," Sumiko answered for him.
"Shit," Iruka muttered. He scowled, trying to figure out how to ask what he wanted to--but it was an obviously sensitive topic.
"Oh, just spit it out," Kakashi said finally, watching him sit there and struggle.
"Did you, uh, find him? In the yard?" Iruka asked hesitantly, already wincing.
"He was found in the kitchen by Sensei, who didn't let me in the house."
Iruka sagged back in relief. "Oh, good. Not the same world for sure, then. That's a relief."
"Where did your version of Kakashi find him then?" Sumiko chirped in.
Kakashi looked at her.
"What? He's digging into our painful past, I want to hear about his."
"Nosy old woman," Kakashi muttered.
**
Iruka mixed the salt and the pepper--just enough that the salt wasn't white anymore.
Then he took everything out of the freezer and set it on the counter. Then he took everything out of the fridge and put it in the freezer, after taking one long swallow from the milk jug. He opened up the cupboard just out of curiosity and found everything aligned so perfectly that it was obviously following some mathematical equation. He turned all the cups upside down first.
He also stole a magnet, which he slid into his pocket before trotting back into the bathroom. He stopped, right outside the door, and thought about it for a moment. What could you do to really annoy an obsessive compulsive person? He didn't really have enough time to properly booby trap the place, and he didn't really have enough itching powder on him.
But, well, there was always the obvious attack. He sidled over to Kakashi and gave the man a good poke. Nothing happened. He did it again. He really, really didn't want the guy to wake up for this. Then, oh so carefully, he pulled down the mask and pulled out a marker.
He paused a second, thinking of how it would look in a mirror. He scribbled out his message, put the mask back as carefully as he could, and then slunk back into the bathroom trying very hard not to be smug. He rapped on the mirror.
The Other Iruka glanced back, held up one finger and turned back to Kakashi and his mother.
**
"Well," he said, after explaining what had happened to his Kakashi's father as he knew it, and realizing it was nothing like what had happened to the other Kakashi, "that explains why you're not nearly so insane as he is." Iruka hopped back up on the sink and then hesitated. "Are you going to be around long?" he asked, looking back at Kakashi's mother.
"I don't know. I thought I'd spend a week or so. Probably not in here, but in town."
He nodded and thought. "Would you mind terribly if--*if*--I can get him in here, just, uh, being here?" He really didn't know if it would help or hurt--or if he could--but hey. It was worth a shot.
"All right. Just, I'm not spending my entire vacation in the bathroom, but if you put up times I'll be here for those."
He grinned and nodded. "I will. I'll tape them up, and I don't think he'll be in here without coaxing for a while, so he shouldn't take them down again." Then he pressed against the glass and fell through.
**
Something was wrong. He wasn't sure what but--no, no he was sure what. His mask was wrong. He wriggled his nose. It was still wrong.
He came out of the drugged haze slowly, his limbs feeling like lead. He was going to KILL Iruka.
Or at least whine. "What did you do?" he asked, trying to make the mask fit again.
"What do you mean?" Iruka asked, busily putting food back in the freezer and muttering about asshole doppelgangers.
Kakashi's eyes narrowed. He grabbed a rag and started wiping the water off the counter from what had thawed. "My mask feels weird."
"Take it off," Iruka suggested.
Kakashi hrmphed. He pulled it down after checking the windows and doors.
Iruka stared at him.
He yanked it back up. "What?"
"No--it's all right. Just--you have something on your face."
Kakashi frowned. "What?"
"I don't know." Iruka tugged the mask down again, very slowly, and squinched his face up. "I can't read it. I think it's writing, though. Mirror-writing maybe?"
"Read it," Kakashi said, anxiety rising. Damn it, couldn't things just stop changing for ONE DAY?
"I can't. Go look in the mirror."
Kakashi froze. "No. She might be there."
"She's not. Not right now. Go look."
"*No.* Any of them might be there, and I don't want my mask down--"
"Kakashi! It *is* you! They've seen your face!"
Kakashi looked angry, then suddenly shifted back, hands in his pockets, and looked intensely bored. "No," he said again.
Iruka sighed and stepped away, thinking. "Okay. Check the reflection in the oven."
He could do that. He pulled the mask down and tried not to look at his face while reading what was written on his cheek.
"I have licked three items," it said.
Kakashi blinked. "Why did you *lick* things?" he asked in horror.
"I haven't--oh shit. The, uh, other Iruka was over here," Iruka said slowly. "I guess he still hasn't forgiven you for the whole *torture* thing."
Kakashi went very, very still. His mind went sharply clear. "You let him over? While I was unconscious?"
"He wouldn't come over while you were awake and I couldn't think of another way to get the letter here!" Iruka yelped. "He wouldn't *do* anything! . . . serious!"
Kakashi remained very, very still.
"Look!" Iruka said, yanking the letter off the kitchen counter. "I got your alternate mother's letter!"
Kakashi stared at it.
His mother was over there.
He took the letter with suddenly unsteady hands, and dropped crosslegged to the floor.
Iruka breathed a sigh of relief.
**
The following exchange was taped on the mirror, along with hours to be in the bathroom:
"Dear Iruka. You asshole, we're sterilizing the WHOLE FUCKING PLACE."
"Ha ha. I licked nothing."
"I KNOW. But I can't convince him of that!"
"What's that matter? You kiss him, right?"
"It's the principle of the thing! Or something stupid like that."
"Ha ha."
At the assigned hour, after the week it took to convince Kakashi to go INTO the bathroom, Kakashi's mother sat on a chair talking to her actual son and his boyfriend through the door, while Iruka tried to coax the other Kakashi into the bathroom.
So far, Kakashi had gotten as far as flattening himself against the wall just outside and peering in. It was better than trying to crawl across the threshold of the bathroom door just to get to the kitchen, Sumiko supposed. She still wasn't sure why he hadn't just closed the door, but hadn't asked either.
'Hi,' Other Iruka signed. 'He's coming.' He stopped, looked back, looked at Sumiko, rolled his eyes and added, 'eventually.'
She gave him a thumb's-up. Then she adjusted her shawl for breastfeeding and waited.
Kakashi slunk in, ninja uniform on, mask on, hitai-ate pulled over the Sharingan eye, and single silver eye wider than it almost ever appeared.
'Going somewhere?' Sumiko wrote with a smile.
He looked like he wanted to bolt at that, but Iruka was blocking the doorway.
Kakashi's eye arced in a falsely bright smile. Iruka shoved a pen and paper at him, and he wrote in writing like chicken scratch, 'Ah . . . no.' He stared at the baby under the shawl. 'That's . . . alive?'
She just nodded.
He smiled again. 'Ah. Oh.' Then he turned to Iruka. There was a quick exchange that seemed to consist of Kakashi trying to leave and Iruka cheerfully blocking the doorway again. Kakashi turned back.
'Hi.'
'So I hear I'm a bitch in that dimension.'
Kakshi's eye widened again. 'Ah . . . nooooo . . . just, um, a traitor.' He smiled again.
'Ah. You're right, that's much different.'
Kakashi looked like he wasn't sure if she was serious or not.
'How long have you been dating your Iruka?'
He glanced at Iruka. Iruka shrugged, then held up two fingers.
'Two months,' he wrote.
'Well good for you!'
He started to relax. He actually took a step toward the mirror, instead of apparently trying to crawl into the shower. 'Um. Yeah.' He smiled--really, this time. 'I like him.' Then he looked at the baby as it moved. 'You're, ah . . . married?'
She nodded. 'Three years, now. Husband number three.'
Kakashi flinched. '. . . oh. That's . . . a lot of husbands.'
'Well, I was widowed by twenty-four. I'd moved on. By twenty-seven I was out of the village. I married a potato farmer. I left him, and now I'm happily married to a wood carver. East of Dirt County.'
Kakashi stared. 'Potato farmer? Wood carver? That's . . . so *normal.*'
'Well . . . my father was a carpenter.'
He relaxed more and ruffled up his hair. 'My mother's father was a ninja. My mother was a ninja. You're . . . not. Are you?'
'I taught pottery.'
He blinked. 'Huh. But White Fang was still White Fang, right?'
'No, we called him Pink Thunder.'
He stared.
'Joking! Joking!' she laughed, waving her hands around.
'And you actually visit him. Me. Alternate me?'
She sighed and explained again how it was the first time she'd been back in so long. Luckily, Iruka seemed to have filled him in on the age gap, because he took that part in stride.
'Oh.' He actually looked a little relieved. 'You keep in touch?'
'Letters. Lots of letters.'
Kakashi lifted his visible eyebrow and pulled the note from a pouch on his vest. 'Like this?'
She nodded. 'Usually longer.'
He seemed to think about that. His hands, Sumiko realized, where trembling slightly. The tip of the paper vibrated. 'Can I keep this?' he asked.
She just nodded.
He grinned brightly. 'Good. Great. I have to, um, go. Now.' Sweat was beading his hairline.
Iruka was still blocking the door, though. After a moment in which panic visibly built, Kakashi just transported out.
Iruka blinked. "Um, thanks,' he wrote after a minute.
'Did that go well? I can't tell.'
Iruka grinned and nodded, thumbs up. 'He didn't turn into a groveling pile of panic, so it went really well! And he didn't attack me to get out, so he's still stable! It's great! Thank you!' He even drew a happy face on the piece of paper and held it up.
**
Weeks later, Iruka went through the mirror, ignoring the queasiness as he did so. The Other Kakashi handed him a letter from his mother, addressed to Iruka's Kakashi.
"My mom asked me to tell Kakashi to number his letters so she can write a response, and to remind him that it takes a month or two for her letter to get here," he said.
"All right," Iruka answered, nodding quickly. "I'll tell him. And--tell her I said thank you. This whole letter thing is . . . well, I'm not sure if it's good for him so much, but it's at least keeping him . . . well, I think it's good for--oh, hell," he muttered, and threw up his hands. "I'm gonna go." He turned and glanced through the mirror. "Wait! Where'd the other Iruka go?" he yelped, remembering the horror of Kakashi's face being written on.
Kakashi wasn't home. Damn, he was going to have to figure out what that little rat bastard had done.
**
The Irukas switched. "What'd you do?" Kakashi asked as the Other Iruka raced off to figure out what had happened.
"Oh, nothing," Iruka said gleefully. "I just figure that he'll think I did something, and when Kakashi comes home and sees him looking . . ." He grinned. "By the time he catches on to this game, I'll go back to doing things."
"You're evil. I am so turned on." They left together.
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Table of Contents
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Chapter notes: Welcome to the second volume of The Great Bathroom Mirror Escapades! What is that? You MISSED the first volume?! *gasp* Well, The Great Bathroom Mirror Escapades Vol. 1 can be found by heading to my profile!
Some notes: This is the second in the Bathroom Mirror series by Momo and I. We got together and thought, "Hey! What if the Kakashi and Iruka from messypeaches' (otherwise known as Momo) Side Effects and the Kakashi and Iruka from JBMcDragon's The Kakashi Mission met?" Insanity ensued.
There is a third one: it'll be a while coming, due to conflicting schedules. *sighs*
Takes place after the as-yet unwritten SE sequel (in which Iruka gets lost in the forest and returns home with pet skunks) and after TKM, before TKM 2. Which really will be out soonish. Promise. This doesn't actually OFFICIALLY occur in either series. We're just playing.
Rated R, because Momo and I both swear and we probably talked about sex SOMEWHERE in here, though I can't remember where.
Love you all, enjoy the crack!
JB and Momo