It’d been three years.
He hadn’t changed one bit.
Not one bit.
Well, except for his remarkable change in power.
And his fashion sense.
God, his hair! Why the hell did it look freakishly like a duck’s ass?!
Naruto shook his head.
Sometimes, Sasuke’s thinking patterns were utterly beyond him.
Though Sasuke could say the same about Naruto.
_.-=+=-._
Hn. Dobe.
Standing there gawking like the utter moron that he is.
Though he had grown some.
And maybe filled out a bit.
Not that he noticed. Not at all.
Thankfully, though, he’d reduced the amount of orange he’d taken to wearing.
So he wasn’t as much an eyesore that he used to be.
It wasn’t because he thought black suited the dobe.
Because it outlined all the muscles in his back and chest.
Nope. Wasn’t the reason Sasuke’d noticed.
Right.
_.-=+=-._
Sakura huffed and rolled her eyes.
She glanced at Sai.
He glanced at Sakura.
Simultaneously they rolled their eyes.
Could they just skip the comparisons and get to the hot, kinky, boy sex already?
_.-=+=-._
Orochimaru and Kabuto paused in their mad groping to peer at the interactions below.
Was that hot blonde hunk seriously Naruto?
Ew, what was that pink thing in the background? It clashed horribly with Sasuke’s new hairstyle—Oh, it’s Sakura.
Hmm… The one with almost no shirt was a possible Sasuke clone…
Kabuto sighed, pushing up his glasses.
Orochimaru shrugged. He saw no reason to interfere for the moment.
Besides, Kabuto in a pink miniskirt was calling his name.
_.-=+=-._
Captain Yamato looked back and forth between Sasuke and Naruto.
So that was the infamous Sasuke, hm?
No wonder Naruto wanted him back so much.
He looked much more interesting than Sakura after all.
Though the duck-ass hair had some serious gel issues.
_.-=+=-._
Sasuke and Naruto finished their silent reunion via clashing gazes.
Turning around suddenly, Sasuke faced the direction he knew Orochimaru and Kabuto were doing Bad Things in.
“Orochimaru-sama, I’m taking a week long break from the manga, ok? I need to go pound Naruto’s ass into any available flat surface,” he called.
A muffled “Ok!” followed by an “Orochimaru-sama!!” confirmed his Bad Things theory.
Appearing suddenly in front of Naruto, an arm draped around his neck, Sasuke whispered something in Naruto’s ear.
Nodding eagerly, the two vanished in a small puff of smoke.
And outraged cry followed them.
“What about my hawt butt secks??!”
Needless to say, Sakura was not happy.
She decided to entice Sai into joining her in a Hunt-for-Boy-Smex.
Unfortunately, she had to learn the hard way that Sai was Gay For Naruto.
_.-=+=-._
~*One Week Later*~
Naruto and Sasuke appeared in a heap in Sasuke’s still-destroyed-bedroom.
Well, Naruto appeared in a heap. He twitched a leg and let out a moan.
Of course, it was a purely-sated-out-of-my-mind-because-I’ve-been-screwed-within-an-inch-of-my-life moan.
Sasuke just smirked and walked away tauntingly.
No possibly straight man walked with a twist and swish of the ass like Sasuke did.
But then, Sasuke made everything look good.
Moaning again, Naruto managed to struggle into an almost standing position on his hands and knees.
Now once again standing at the top of the huge hole he’d created, Sasuke smirked in satisfaction.
Orochimaru appeared next to him, a sadistic grin on his face.
Kabuto stood behind him, traces of red lipstick still visible on his neck.
Looking at him, Sasuke shook his head and turned away.
“I don’t want to know.”
Laughing maniacally, Orochimaru replied, “Time to go, Sasuke-kun.”
Turning back to look at the weakly glaring Naruto, Sasuke’s eyes flashed into Sharingan.
“Until your ass and I meet again, Dobe.”
With that, the three vanished in a cloud of smoke.
Naruto hung his head weakly.
Sakura and Sai looked at him sympathetically.
Looking at them, Naruto managed a grin.
“He forgot that next time, his ass is mine.”
OWARI
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Chapter notes: I wrote this in less than 15 minutes, I think, so if it's freakier than usual, let me know.