Gaara- *reading his mail* Hmmm...? What's this?

"Dear Gaara,
You are wanted for a reality show starting today."

Gaara- Today....Don't I have something else to do today? Oh yeah! Today's when I'm wanted in court for torching that orphanage....

~*Flashback 2 days earlier*~

Gaara- *watching orphanage go up in flames* BURN ORPHANS BURN!!!!!!

~*End flashback*~

Gaara- awww man that was awsome. Oh well, now to burn the court house.



~*~

Naomi- Welcome to the show. I'm the producer, and I'll be periodically making your lives hell. Any questions?

Tenten- Why were we of all people chosen for this?

Naomi- For starters, you all passed the drug tests. Also you looked fine when we illegally accessed your drug records.

Kabuto- uhhhh...

Naomi- You all have a personality disorder and each of you is adicted to at least three kinds of illegal drugs. Your losers are reality show gold!

~*~

Gaara- so, I guess were roommates now. Cheep network not giving us our own rooms. Im Gaara. And you are...?

Haku- *pulls out senbon* I am Haku! Many ninjas have fallen victim to my weapons of fury! I am Zabuza's personal assasin tool!

Gaara- And the sea-foam green nail polish...?

Haku- I can't get it off!

Gaara- Who the hell are you!? The Grim Repaers homosexual cousin?!

~*~

Sasuke- I can't believe I'm doing this stupid show. So how did you get suckered into this?

Naruto- I don't remeber why I'm here. Actually, I don't seem to remember much of anything.

Sasuke- You lost your memory? So are you some dark and mysterious here who has to overcome a great evil to find hid destiny and past memories?

Naruto- I lost my memories?! Aweosme! Now I can be all angsty and mysterious and crap!


~*~
Kabuto- Hey, I'm Kabuto. Why am I the only one without a roommate?

Naomi- That would be because of Temari

Kabuto- I know I'm going to regret this, but who is Temari?

Temari- *randomly tries to chop off Naomi's arm*

Naomi- *dodges* This would be Temari right here. She has extreme ADD and insomnia. She never stops running around...EVER.

Kabuto- DID SHE JUST TRY TO CUT OFF YOUR ARM?!

Naomi- Yeah, you might want to watch out for that.


~*~
Tenten- Wow! This is so exciting! I'm Tenten! I'm sure we'll become great friends and go on fun adventures and junk like that!

Sakura- *watching TV*

Tenten- I've never seen a TV like this before! It's shaped like a crystal ball and has TiVo! So what type of TV do you like to watch?

Sakura- OMG! i l1k3 Itachi LMAO joo t0t@ly pWned Kisame!

Tenten- What the hell? hey, does anyone have an fan-girl to English dictionary I can use?

Sakura- Akatsuki i$ l33t! LOL LOL!!!

Since people rarely read the author's note...clicky this link! Or paste this link, whatever! This is the funniest Naruto AMV I have ever seen! And if you can, leave a comment on my profile!

http://www.gaiaonline.com/profile/index.php?view=profile.ShowProfile&item=2924848----------------------------------------------------------------------

qp-somewhere in the mansion gardens-qp

Sakura- X_x

Tenten-Do younthink this operation will work?

Kabuto- It should work. Then we'll know what she's saying...Just a warning though, there will be some negative side effects.

Tenten- Side effects?

Kabuto- Well for one, we'll be able to understand what she's saying.

Tenten- WHAT?! That's the whole purpose!!!

Kabuto- This is your first encounter with a fangirl isn't?

Sakura- *wakes up* Huh? Why arn't I speaking l33t?

Kabuto- shut up wench.
~*~

Orochimaru- Are the preparations complete?

Naomi- Yes Orochimaru-sama...

Orochimaru- Godd, we will soon unleash our trap.

Naomi- ...

Orochimaru- ...So um, do you juggle?

Naomi- hell no. What am I? Some clown???

Orochimaru- Right. Sorry about that.

~*~
Naomi- Okay, we're filming the commercial for the show, so you guys do something illegal.

Naruto/Gaara- ...

Naomi- On Last Resort, our house members will have to survive living with each other...

Naruto- *being set on fire by Gaara* This must be how One Piece felt when it was being dubbed!

Naomi- They'll also have to fight the legions of HELL!

Gaara- Wait a minute...WHAT?!

Naomi- You heard nothing fool. Alright you guys. Here's the plot twist. I'm leaving you all here to fight an army of demons.

Haku- that isn't shocking...

Sasuke- Kabuto told us about the commercial. Plus, we had to sign a document saying that the network couldn't be held responsible for our death.

Haku- Not to mention tha the Legion of Hell union is on strike outside.

qp-Outside-qp

Demon #1- What do we want?!!?

Demon #1/2/3- More souls!

qp-Back inside-qp

Haku- Okay, the producer left, and moe there are demons inside the house. How am I supposed to fight without messing up my designer robes?

Gaara- *sighs* Your so femine, it sickens me. But I have a plan...Temari! Take your pointy things and stick it through the demons!

Temari- YYYYAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!! *runs off*

Naruto- Damn, she's like a killing machine that doesn't need to sleep. She runs on sugar!

Haku- uhhh...is she playing with a monkey?

Gaara- DAMN IT TEMARI! FOCUS!!! *sighs* Alright, all you punky losers, go hide until we're done.

Kabuto- yes sir jack-ass...

Haku- let's split up!

Gaara- EVERYONE MOVE OUT!

Naruto/Temari/Sasuke- Hai!

~*~

Haku- Foul hell beast-

Demon- My name's Matt

Haku- Fine, matt, prepare to face my ultimate attack!

*pink flowers fall from no where*

Matt- FLOWERS!?!?! That's your ultimate attack!?!?

Haku- Wha...? hell no! just wanted to make the battefield look pretty...So do you like it?

Matt- It's all right. I was expected to die in some polluted hell-hole. This is a nice twist.

Haku- I was sorta going for that scene from Hero.

Matt- Yea, when they're fighting in the flowers. That was a good movie...So you were killing me?

Haku- Oh right, sorry. Hold on, this will just take a second.

Matt- No problem.

Haku- Senbon Rain storm!!!

*senbon fall out from no where and split Matt in two*

Matt's head- I give this death a 9/10

Haku- thanks Matt. See ya in hell.

Matt- see ya.

~*~
Temari- *to monkey* Hello Mr.Bananers!

Sasuke- *slices monkey in half*

Temari- :O You killed Mr.Bananers!

Sasuke- So? it was just a demon monkey?

Temari- :( Lighting Wave!

BZZZT!!!

Sasuke- *dodges* Holy crap! *runs away*

Gaara- *paying no attention to the others* Oh i'll be burning all the demons when she comes! *setting demons on fire* Oh, I'll be burning all the demons when she comes!

Sasuke- *in the back* HELP ME!!!!

Gaara- I'll be burning all the demons, Oh, I'll be burning all the deomns when she comes!

Darth Maul- Foolish weak- holy hell! Gaara!?

Gaara- Darth Maul!? I haven't seen you since pre-k! How you been?

Darth Maul- Pretty good. I'm just trying to get some quick cash with this whole 'demon army' thing.

Gaara- Didn't you major in the dark side?

Darth Maul- Yeah, the sith were cool. But then that ass Obi-wan got in a hollywood cheapshot.

Gaara- Man we had some good times...

Dath Maul- what did you major in again?

Gaara- oh you know. Random viloence in mysterious organizations and such.

Darth Maul- Didn't you kill everyone in that organization?

Gaara- Bingo.

qp~*~qp

Sasuke- *Cut in half* OH SWEET MERCIFUL GOD! JUST KILL ME NOW!

qp~*~qp

Naruto-...Wow! Sasuke! What happened to you?!

Sasuke- What does it look like!? Go get Kabuto...I think he said he's a doctor.

Naruto- Hey, if I bite your leg off, will you feel it?

Sasuke- That wouldn't make sense. I don't have a lower body, so how would you-

Naruto- *bites Sasuke's leg off*

Sasuke- AIEEEEEEEEEEE!

Naruto- ?_? Hey, you got cut in half! If I bite your leg off will you feel it?

Sasuke- >:( Screw you and screw your amnesia!

After the surgery

Kabuto- There we go, good as new. So how do you feel?

Sasuke- I just got electrocuted, stabbed, crushed, burnt, cut in half, and Naruto lost his memory 8 times before he found me. How do you think I feel?

Kabuto- Yeah, to be honest, I don't really care.

Sasuke- You think it's good to piss off an emo kid?

Kabuto- You think it's a good idea to piss off a guy who may or may not have implanted a firecracker in your liver? Ask yourself, 'Am I feeling lucky?'

Sasuke- O.o *runs away*

Tenten- Why'd you put a firecracker in his liver?

Kabuto- *smils* I"m not sure, but it'll probably be really funny later on...^_^

qp

Sakura- I got that telephone like you asked!

Kabuto- Good! 'Cause I'm not gonna last a day with you two without TV.

Tenten- SHHHH!!! TV!

Sakura- Ya know, this is just like my fanfic...The charcters are stuck in the dungeon then they have wild-

Kabuto- I swear, if you finish that sentence I WILL TAKE A BRICK AND SMASH YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD IN!

Naomi- *pops in* Does this get the yaoi channel?

Kabuto-...No.

Naomi- durn...*leaves*

Kabuto- changing the channel!

Tenten- hey! My TV!

Kabuto- Great! Another stupid and pointless reality show.

Sakura- Wait! This is OUR stupid and pointless reality TV show!

Kabuto- Great, now if the demons want to find us, all they have to do is turn on the TV...Well, since I'm gonna die here anyway and I'm national TV, I might as well say this-- HALO SUCKS!

Inside the Mansion

Brian the demon- BRRAAIINNSSSSSS!!!!

Chuck the demon- What did we tell you about that? Your sterotyping us demons!

Brian the demon- Sorry...

Gaara- *walks in* What are you all doing?

Chuck the demon- tryin gto kill these guys.

Gaara- *sets floor on fire* Don't mind me, I'll just be laughing evilly as you try in vain to escape a wall of fire. *laughs*

Somewhere else...

Darth Maul- I'm leaving!

Kabuto- What!? We're already outnumbered as it is!

Darth Maul- Fine, I'll give you a pair of lightsabers.

Kabuto- You'd really give me a lightsaber?

Darth Maul- Why not? I have 100 of those damn things in the car. I sell 'em to nerds.

Kabuto- Star Wars geeks don't have money.

Darth Maul- Mpney? I get paid in organs which I then sell on the black market and to Burger King.

Kabuto- o.o

Haku- We can't keep this up! We're going to get killed!

Tenten/Naruto- We can handle it! *hold hands* WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE! FORM OF A--

Gaara- --TWO DUMBASSES! Moving on, does anyone have a smart plan?