Letters of Yesterday

Chapter 1: Genins Are Born

"If I take a new step will you follow or stop?"
Fall For You by The Whitlams

"Yosh!" Iruka said boisterously, with a wide grin on his face. "Today, we're going to be restarting something that had been done a long time ago..."

"Ehhhh?" his class whined. "What now?"

"Another pop quiz?" grumbled Naruto, head propped up by a hand, eyes closed.

On either side of him, two of the usual four troublemakers were causing havoc - Chouji waving the last chip from his bag at a growling Akamaru, Kiba swearing at some brat who wouldn't stop poking him in the back.

"This is so troublesome," mumbled Shikamaru sleepily, from somewhere in the middle of the class.

"What is it, sensei?" asked Sakura curiously, trying to look excited in front of Sasuke-kun.

"Ehhhh..." Iruka sighed, shoulders slumping in disappointment at the lack of enthusiasm. "It's not a quiz -"

"HURRAY!" His students yelled.

Iruka sweatdropped.

"It's a pen pal assignment."

"EHHHHHHH?"

"What? What?" Naruto blinked. "Pen pal assignment?"

"Hmph," Kiba grinned. "You're such an idiot, Naruto. It's where you write letters to people and get letters back and talk and stuff..."

"That sounds - boring..." mumbled the blonde kitsune.

"It is..." Chouji sighed.

"I was going over your last report and I decided you need more practice writing - I know, I know - what with all your classes it's hard to focus on primary things like reading, writing and arithmatic... but it's important, too. I should know... I work on the mission desk every afternoon after class." Iruka sighed. "You would not believe the types of reports that come in - scrawls, bad grammar, bad punctuation - it's so hard to read, and sometimes you have to get them to rewrite it because the paper is so badly crumpled, and there're some who never get in on time and -"

Iruka's rant about certaiin - well... there was one grey-haired Jounin in mind - came to an abrupt stop -

"ZZZZZZZZZZ... ZZZZZZZZZz...ZZZZZZzzzz..."

Iruka glared at Naruto snoring head.

"Wake up, you idiot! You're missing the point!"

"But - but -" Naruto said, sleepily yawning. "It's so BOOORRRINNNG! Who wants to write a letter anyway... and you started talking about other stupid stuff..."

"Damn right," Ino pouted. "Unless - hey, Sensei... where do our letters go?"

"What you guys will do is put your address on your first mail... They'll be randomly redistributed to another member in the class - by hand. You won't find out who got your letter until next week. And from then on, every Monday you come in, you'll put the letter in the slot with your mail mate's address on it, and it will be delivered to the post office... and it'll go through regular mail and end up in your homes."

"Ohhh..." Sakura said, with sudden interest. "So it could be anyone in this class..."

Her green eyes widened.

"Anyone..."

"Yes," Iruka nodded.

"ALRIGHT!" Sakura pumped her fist.

Sasuke-kun's letter is mine, dammit! Inner Sakura yelled, fist shaking and flames spurting out. Bring it on!

"On the other hand, the other teachers thought it would be a great idea to allow other classes to join in - so you never know who you might get... and I don't want to hear you talking about your buddy to somebody else... and some people might still want to keep anonymous..."

Sakura had stopped paying attention, just switching her attention between Sasuke and Ino.

"Okay..." Iruka said. "Take out a fresh new scroll and let's see how far we get today."

Everybody pulled out a new scroll and started to write.

Yo, the name's Kiba. How're you? Me... I'm fine... I guess... Writing for Iruka-sensei is a pain...

Dear Pen Pal, my name is Hinata. How are you? I am doing fine. Today is a beautiful day -

Hello. My name is Naruto - get used to hearing it because I'm going to be the Hokage someday!

Hi, my name is Ino. Hmmm... what to say? How're you doing, I guess... This is such a weird assignment...

...Hey... It's troublesome to write my name...(Shikamaru)

Staring down at the blank scroll, Sakura didn't know what to write.

What if it doesn't turn out to be Sasuke-kun? Or it is but he's staying anonymous? What if - GAH! What do I do? How do I start? Dammit! Even Naruto's started writing.

With a sigh, she scrawled:

Hello, my name's Sakura.

What else... what else...

I'm an Academy student - studying to become a ninja. Sometimes it's really fun but sometimes it gets boring, especially when sensei blabs on and on about work and stuff like that.

This is easy...

I'm 12 years old and I have pink hair and green eyes. I like... well... that's not really any of your business... but there's this one boy I'm crazy about - but he's way too cool for me - I don't know what to do! WAAHHH! How do I get his attention when baka-Ino is in my way?

Seriously? How about you? What are your hobbies? Do you have any? What are your favourite classes? My least favourite is botany class we girls have to take - picking and arranging flowers - and the teacher is soo... ugh... boring... I wish I was a boy - well... no... because then... HE wouldn't like me anymore...

I hope this is all I have to write... maybe something will happen next time so I'll have something interesting to say. It's really hard to write a letter to somebody on the spur of the moment.

Yours sincerely, Sakura.

There... that oughta do it.

With the rest of the class, Sakura filed down to the front of a class room, where an old postbox sat on the desk, beside Iruka. Slipping her scroll into the slot, the pink-haired girl prayed furiously -

Let it be Sasuke. Let it be Sasuke... Actually... anything but... NARUTO!

---

That evening, after work at the Mission Desk, Iruka hefted the now weighty box with his hands and, swaying down the hallway, found the Chuunin Common Room. The cheap wood table creaked dangerously under its weight.

The other Chuunins (teachers and shinobi) smiled as the normally exuberant Iruka-sensei, leaned on the box, huffing.

"Breaking your back again?" A dark-eyed Chuunin with his hitae ate tied around his head asked. "Holy shit! What is that thing?"

"Language, Izumo," Iruka frowned, cricking his back back into place. "It's a new thing - well... it was done a long time ago - I never did this - but it's a way for the kids to have a pen pal and -"

"Blah blah blah..." Kotetsu rolled his eyes. "Why're you bringing your shit into this place?"

"Because Hokage-sama asked you deliver the letters tomorrow morning," Iruka said with feral smile.

"EHHHHHHHH?" Izumo blinked. "No way."

Ebisu laughed.

"Suckers."

"No way in hell -"

"Kotetsu... Language... Anyhow, it's easy... there are a whole pile of letters in there... randomly distribute them - that is... make sure that no child gets the letter THEY wrote but someone else's letter. It's that easy! After tonight, the kids will be slipping their letters into this post box every Monday - on their own. And all you'll have to do is break your back hauling it to the office!" Iruka smiled at the Chuunin's stunned faces. "Don't screw this up! Good luck!"

He strolled out into the early evening, trying to decide whether he felt like take out or home made ramen.

---

Two days later, in the late afternoon, Sakura on entering the door, returning home from school, heard her mom calling.

"Sakura-chan - is that you?"

"Yes, Mother," the girl sighed. "What do you want?"

Oh no! I so do not want to work right now - No chores. No deliveries. That's it... I'll say I'm cleaning my room or I'm training...

"You got a letter in the mail today... Here..." A hand stuck past the kitchen door - white with flour - waving a scroll.

Sakura grinned.

"Oh yeah! It's my pen pal!"

"Pen pal?"

"Iruka-sensei said we need to learn to write better, so he set up a letter writing system. We have to write letters to somebody in the school."

"Really? That sounds like fun! Is it anonymous?"

"It can be - if you want to - I hope mine is from Sasuke-kun! I'm going to read it - bye!"

Sakura dashed out of the room before her mom could object.

Let it be Sasuke-kun! Let it be Sasuke-kun!

The seal on the outside looked very aristocratic. Her heart rose with hopes.

Carefully opening it, she rolled it back -

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"Sakura! Is something wrong?" her mom called up the stairs.

"N-n-n-no, Mom... It's okay!"

Scrunching her eyes closer to the scroll, Sakura sighed.

"This can't be Sasuke-kun, this scribbling is way too messy to be his handwriting..."

Her eyes landed on her little diary, which had a sample of her idol's writing pasted to the first page. A request for an absence due to family affairs..

Sakura sighed.

But still... who the hell is this? Better not be Naruto.

Hello. I hope you don't mind me keeping anonymous... it's just that... people don't seem to like me a lot when they find out my name... so...

No way... not Naruto... he doesn't know how to spell 'anonymous'... although... this guy's handwriting - jeez...

I don't know what to write about really. How are you? I'm... okay... I guess... Sensei said we were to talk about things we like... but I don't have anything in particular that I like... that I'd tell you anyway... I don't feel like it's anybody's business, really...

Jerk.

But in a way, I'm glad. It's so hard to be the youngest in the class. Have you ever felt like everybody is staring at you and whispering and always talking about you behind your back - it's not always slander - but - still...

Can't be Sasuke-kun, for sure. Although, I wonder - Sakura frowned. Perhaps he feels this way, too...

Anyway. What do I like? I like training. I love it when I train with my dad. My dad is the greatest ninja in the world - even if nobody else sees that. When I train with him... he smiles and his eyes go soft and warm - and he hugs me and everything feels right. Even though Mom isn't here, at times like that, I don't feel lonely.

Definitely not Sasuke-kun... but maybe... it's... Ino?

Do you ever feel alone in a crowded room? I do. All the time. I guess, I just am not noticeable.

Poor thing... he - she? - needs to get a friend... it's too depressing... WAAHHH! Why do I get depressed people - and not Sasuke-kun?

Oh my. I realize I've written alot. I better go now - the teacher says we're to put this scroll into the postbox and it'll go to somebody. This is so exciting! I hope we can be friends!

Yrs Sincerely, X.

Sakura rolled up the scroll tenderly and put it into a small box and shoved it under her bed, walking out to her small balcony, looking out to the blue sky and gentle puffy clouds, she couldn't help but wonder.

Who is he? Somebody I know? Somebody I've never met? Somebody... somebody... out there is lonely in a crowd. I -

She sighed.

So complicated.

---

On the Monday of the following week, Sakura replied to the letter. It was post box day.

Dear X.

That's just wrong. I have to call you something else. Give yourself a nickname or something... seriously... it's weirding me out. Besides... are you a guy or a girl? I need to know this because I don't think you want to know girly girl stuff - if you're a boy.

I'm sorry that you have no friends. I hope you're not in my class because I don't think people should ever be left out - well, there are some times that I wish Ino-pig wasn't so annoying - but still... sometimes, when I see how good all the other students are, I feel lonely. I feel left out. I wonder: "What am I even doing here?" Do you ever have that feeling? Well... I work hard at what I can - I am top of the class for chakra control and ninja know-how. Not like this other idiot boy in class. Geez. He's scary...

But sometimes... he's good for laugh.

You're the youngest in your class? Wow... how'd you figure that out? Everybody is my age or thereabouts... I think. It's too bad people talk about you - nobody talks about me, much... except maybe Ino.

Ino was my best friend - but just this year I found out that she liked the boy I like... so we aren't talking anymore. One day, I KNOW I'm going to get strong enough to beat her. I will!

You don't know how lucky you are to have a dad to train with you. My dad isn't a ninja so he doesn't know much. I have to do everything on my own - basically... I'm sorry your Mom is gone, though. Some days I wish my Mom wasn't around - she whines and nags and treats me like a baby... or a slave. Seriously. But, I guess, I don't want her dead.

Oh! It's time to end it! I gotta go!

Bye! Sakura.

Two days later, the mail arrived with another scroll. Sakura opened it with a sigh - and rolled her eyes at the scrawled kanji.

I guess it wasn't a once in a blue moon thing. I need to tell him to get his writing act together... 'kay... let's see...

Hey, Sakura.

It's nice hearing from you. I actually didn't expect anything so soon, but it's great! Wow! It seems you have a busy life!

Inner Sakura: Damn right!

Well... I guess that would be the type of life a popular person such as yourself would have. I wish I could be busy with my friends too. I'm sorry about your friend Ino. It's too bad. Is the boy you like worth it?

Oh dear. I don't think I should have asked that! Sorry!

You better be!

Ummm... what else. Oh! Nicknames! I don't know... I'll try to think of something... My mom used to call me handsome, when I was a baby, Dad says. But that would be too weird to write in a letter, right?

Oh. Yeah. I'm a boy.

You were talking about feeling inadequate. Yeah. Sometimes when I can't reach things (I'm really short), or when my reach is too short, or my arm can't throw the kunai far enough, I feel stupid. And my class laughs at me. I guess it's ridiculous that a kid as young as me should be in the academy...

Konohamaru?... can't be... that's just... (sigh) Why do I get baby pen pals? Still... his vocabulary is really good... how old is he, really? Maybe he's just a shrimp... like Naruto... except, seems this kid is too smart to be the idiot...

Good work with your classes and chakra control. You know, that's most important. As long as you're smart and know what jutsu work best with you, you'll be fine, even if you don't have a lot of stamina. Who knows... with your chakra control and know-how, you might work well as a medic. Those people do alot of good work and really make a difference in life-or-death situations. Dad says so. And Dad said to me once, that strength didn't matter ultimately - it was the will to protect one's loved ones.

If Dad were ever in trouble, I'd protect him. Yeah...

And as for your Mom. Maybe she's like that because she cares for you. Dad says people get most hurt by people closest to them. Ironic, huh? Something to watch out for, I guess. After all, you know, it's true.

Dad used to be great and then, things happened and everythings gone... well... to hell, lately. I don't really know what to do, since Dad gets really sad. He won't eat, he sleeps all the time - and lies in his bed watching the rain fall on his window outside.

I really don't know what to do...

Poor kid. His dad needs to get a life... But, it can't be Naruto. Sasuke. Possibly Konohamaru. NOT Ino. Or Hinata. Or the other girls in my class... hmmm... Kiba? Or... Shino? Or maybe it's just some random guy in one of the other classes...

I guess I better end with that... although it seems very sad. Sorry! Maybe I'll have something funny to talk about next time!

Yours Sincerely, Your Pen Pal

p.s. Is that okay?

Sakura drooped.

This guy is so unoriginal and boring - and kind of stuck up - maybe - but then... he's obviously got issues... I can't judge him really. Am I really any better?

---

Dear Pen Pal,

I still find your name to be boring, but that's okay I guess. I'm sorry your family life is screwed up. Perhaps you should find a friend. I can't say who'd be able to know what you're going through, but you should find somebody that will listen to you to help you release your stress.

Let me tell you, popularity is over-rated. And it does seem to me that you get attention, too. Okay... it's negative... kind of like this moron in class who is totally laughable. He just screws up in the most weird way. Like the other day, he tried to do Henge no jutsu - of the Hokage - and jeez... the old geezer looked - crappy... the idiot couldn't even compete Henge properly. What's up with that! And our teacher got so mad...

I think it's a ruse for attention, don't you?

And as for the boy I like, he is SO worth it. He has dreamy black eyes, and well-groomed black hair. I'll even give you a hint - he's Uchiha. I know, I know... he's probably far above me... but still... a girl can hope, can't she?

Okay... some other things to talk about...

My favorite color would be red and pink. I really like bright colors - no drabness for me! No sirree! I hate doing errands for my mom... ummm... my favorite subject would be genjutsu... I'm kinda good at illusions. Well... that's all I've got to say for now.

Hope you have a good week,

Sakura

---

Once again, as per usual, the mail was slipped into the school's post box (now set up in the front lobby for easier day-to-day access), and redistributed by the mail ninja.

As punctual as ever, the mail arrived two days later.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and Sakura's penpal (now nicknamed Scarecrow) slowly opened up, bit by bit...

My Dad's gone away on a long mission again - I'm kinda worried...

Sakura: I'm sure your dad will be fine - if he remembers what's waiting for him - if you wait for him... he'll come back! I'm sure!

You'll not guess what - you remember that idiot brat I mentioned - who's in my class? HE MADE A PERVERTED JUTSU out of HENGE! Why can't I have normal classmates?

Sakura: What's a perverted jutsu? I've never heard of this before...

You don't want to know...

---

As the school year's end slowly came into sight, Sakura's excitement rose. It was time for graduation and the tests! Somehow, in between chores, studying, socializing, daydreaming about Sasuke and beating on Naruto, Sakura found time to keep up with her penpal.

Scarecrow also was anticipating graduation. He seemed more sure of himself.

So, do you have any tips for me? Wrote Sakura. Like, at what angle would you throw the kunai if you were on a hill in a tree and -

After looking at your diagram, I think you should throw it at 35 NNW... I hope this helps...

You seem really confident - you're not scared one bit?

I can't afford to be scared... If I pass, I'll be the youngest Genin in Konoha history ever! And my Dad will smile again and people won't look at my family like they're dirt anymore!

Sakura's heart clenched at this.

And here I thought my life was crummy...

When graduation came around, Sakura celebrated by writing her penpal a long letter.

Dear Scarecrow,

I PASSED! I hope you did too! It's soo cool thinking that maybe one day we'll meet as grown up shinobi! I'm sure you'll pass! You can't help but pass - you're so smart!

Well! It wasn't hard at all! Not one bit! Sensei had us to the Bunshin no Jutsu... 2 clones. How hard could that be? Of course, baka-Naruto didn't get anywhere at all! Heh...

And of course, the Uchiha passed... squeeeee! We'll all be great shinobi together... our Academy Sensei says we have to meet tomorrow morning for orientation... wow... now it sounds so official. I wonder what's going to happen next...

---

Scarecrow replied three days later with good news as well.

Well...against all odds, I passed. I didn't think I would exactly... since my sensei doesn't like me that much and he thinks I'm too young to be in the Academy at all... and I think he kind of hates my dad too... because when my dad screwed up this mission... Sensei's son died...

It's kind of hard to admit this, but I nearly didn't take the test - but your encouragement spurred me on. You know how the parents come around to pick their kids up - after the test... well... Dad didn't show. Everybody kept staring at me so I slipped out as soon as I got my hitae ate from my sensei... I bet you had your parents there, right? But, hey, when he comes back home from the mission, I'm sure he'll proud of what I managed to do. The youngest Genin ever!

Although... it seems as though I won't be getting a team right away since I'm too young to go on serious missions.

Why can't I go? I'm ready! I passed all the tests? So what if I'm a bit short and my arms and legs are a bit small? I don't even know if any sensei will want to have me... it's so discouraging...

Sakura shook her head as she read his scroll.

That's so... sad... and sort of pathetic... what kind of a parent puts their young kid into Academy - well... he says he's small... and he hasn't said how old he is... but... anyway... the Dad didn't even show up to congratulate his kid? Geez... that's just... wrong. Even MY parents showed and they aren't ninja!

Maybe... this is how Naruto feels...

I think somebody needs cheering up... RIGHT AWAY!

Dear Scarecrow,

YAY! YOU PASSED! I'm glad you passed too!

I'm so happy! Well... not just because you passed but because my crush is on my team! Yep! Yep! He's MIIIINNNEEEE! But then... I guess nothing can be perfect - BECAUSE I'VE GOT THE CLASS IDIOT IN MY TEAM! WHY? WHY? WHY?

(ahem) Yes. Well...

I'm sorry your Dad couldn't make it - or me... you should have told me - I would have come to cheer you on! And it's too bad about not getting a team right away. Geez... how old are you really? You said you were the youngest in your class - but how young are we talking here? Anyway. I'm glad I was encouraging - when you have people depending on you, you always do better, I think. I hope you get a nice sensei. Do you know who your sensei is yet? You should see ours! He's - Oh! Mom's calling me! Gotta go!

In a hurry,

Sakura.

---

Two weeks later, Sakura got a short letter.

Dear Sakura,

Sorry about the shortness. Things have been busy for me - I met my new sensei. He has blonde hair, green eyes and a wide smile. He is very nice and says I'm going to be a genius. Well... Dad says that all the time about me - but why doesn't he smile like Sensei?

Because your dad has issues... maybe?

Sensei has started training with me - serious training - and we've even done a bunch of C-ranks with me. He says that in no time I'll be ready for the Chuunin Exam. I don't know. But when Dad heard this, he said that it was possible.

What do you think?

Ja ne,

Scarecrow.

p.s. What's your sensei like? Is he weird? Cool? Embarassing? Mine's super enthusiastic. But when he smiles - there seems to be some kinda of hope for us all...

Sakura smiled fondly.

I'm so glad he's gotten somebody that's good for him. I was getting a little worried there... any worse, and I might have tried to find him... but he seems okay now... but still... he hasn't told me his age... and his dad is thinking of putting him through the Chuunin Exam? What is he? Driven or something? Or just not thinking straight? Even I have to do more training before I even THINK of trying out for the Exam... sheesh...

---

Dear Scarecrow,

What can I say about my sensei?

He's... weird... I guess... For one thing - time has no meaning for him. Yes. He's LATE ALL THE TIME! DAMMIT! Can't he take us seriously! We had to wait TWO hours before he showed up for the first time! Everyone had already met their sensei and gone off to get acquainted - it was embarrassing to just sit there.

Anyway, Sensei comes in - and gets hit on the head by a chalk eraser - I kind thought it was funny. It was Naruto's idea... NOT MINE! But still... kinda funny...

And it serves Sensei right, ne? His excuses for being late are disgusting too. Like before his "Bell Test", he came late - 5 HOURS! And what was his excuse? "A black cat crossed my path so -"

WHAT THE HELL?

But you know... I thought he was dumb - but he's a Jounin for real. We couldn't even touch him - and we passed his test by the skin of teeth - kinda accidentally... sort of embarassing to admit. Naruto, Sasuke and I managed to show real teamwork. I never knew it was that important. But you know, to Sensei it's important. He said that he had a friend on the Memorial Stone - which reminds him of that importance all the time...

Anyway... back on topic... Sensei's got grey hair - and a mask - and likes to read these orange books that have a big red R on the back. I think it's a bad adult book - because he won't let us read it, but he laughs over it all the time.

I think he's a pervert. Maybe. But he's super strong and super cool. Well... enough about him - we're going on an important mission tomorrow to Wave Country - a guarding mission. Thanks to the class idiot - yep! Can you believe my luck? Him - of all people! - on my team! Well... so is the guy I like, I guess you can't win everything!

Back to this guarding mission -

My Uchiha says it's basically 'babysitting' but still... it's a C-rank... Naruto says it'll be a piece of cake... Anyway, we'll be gone several weeks, so don't worry if you don't hear from me for a while.

Good luck with training,

Sakura.

p.s. I'm proud of you being so enthusiastic about training and stuff - but maybe you want to wait a bit before going into the Chuunin Exam. I mean, don't you think being a kid is important too - as important as being accepted. Knowing your Dad might smile is a great goal to push towards - I'd do it too - but... please... be careful. I don't want you to get hurt.

p.p.s. How old are you? Give!

---

When Sakura came back, she found a small letter waiting for her. Quickly she ran out and found a quiet spot under the trees on the white promenade. In the peace and quiet there (no mother annoyingly calling her), she settled back to read his note.

Dear Sakura,

I apologize but for the next couple of days I'm going under intensive training - my sensei is going to show me a super cool technique -and then right after that, I'm going to be on a few prolonged group missions. One of them is a border patrol! Isn't that exciting? My sensei is awesome - he doesn't mind that I'm small - no... I don't think I'll tell you my age, 'cause then you'd guess who I am and never talk to me again... after all... pretty girls like you don't talk to boys like me.

Hahaha!

Anyway, you probably won't hear from me in a while. I'm sorry! I'll miss you! Still... let's keep in touch every so often, huh?

Until next time,

Scarecrow

Leaning back, Sakura sighed.

Who would have thought, she mused as she watched the green leaves above her sway. Who would have thought I would miss him so much now that's he gone.

The brat.

Still... she sat upright. This leaves me more time for training... AND SASUKE-KUN!

Letters of Yesterday

Chapter 2

CHUUNIN GROWTH

"I'm walking the plank, edging out, see the drop"

Fall For You by The Whitlams

It was that time of the year again. All the Genins looked thoughtful, the Jounins were busy staring up at the hawk in the sky.

"Chuunin Exam?" asked Naruto, looking more stupid than usual. "What's that?"

"Naruto!" Sakura shook with rage, her eyes white and scary. "Don't you ever listen?"

"Ehhh?"

The three foreigners – who the heck are they?

Sakura couldn't help but shiver at their size. The blonde-haired girl with the mean face who was toting around a big – fan?- then there was the weird teen with purple patterns on his face with a wrapped up bundle on his back too...

What's with them carrying stuff around? Those are strange weapons... And that creepy guy hanging from the tree with that huge jar... that looks suspicious... They're so – old! And big! I bet they could beat our butts... well... not Sasuke-kun... he's the best!

As she watched, Naruto unsuccessfully take on the weird patterned foreigner from Sand – and the cool way Sasuke saved them from a rather unsightly fate, Sakura couldn't help but wonder -

There's no way Baka-sensei would ever be stupid enough to put us in...

---

On the other side of town:

"They're always complaining..." Kakashi was teasing Iruka-sensei. "It'd be fun to see them in a little pain..."

Iruka screamed in frustration.

"Kaka-sensei!"

"That was a joke, Iruka-sensei... at any rate... they're not your students anymore... they're my soldiers."

Kakashi's eyes were hard and stern. Iruka tried to keep up a show of determination.

Geez, Kakashi... Asuma sighed. You SO do not know the time and place for jokes... and you don't have to be so... harsh...

---

Watching the three visitors from Sand spring away, Sakura couldn't help but shiver.

If freaks like those are in Chuunin Exam it's a good thing we aren't in this year... I could never beat strong opponents such as those... BUT SASUKE-KUN COULD!

She stared at her teammate's receding back with hearts in her eyes. Later on that night, Sakura couldn't help but smile at the memory of that day. Without a second thought, she picked up her pen and started writing a letter.

Dear Scarecrow,

How's it going? I know, I know... you've been really busy lately with all that intensive training of yours... but still... so many exciting things are happening! It's that time of year – you know – the Spring Chuunin Exams! Hahaha! I'm not going to be in it, but still... we couldn't help but bump into some people from Sand who are participating.

THEY ARE WEIRD!

And scary! I don't feel very strong when I see how cool they are!

Of course, the boy I like (still not telling! Ha!) is able to stand up to them... but that's genius for you!

How about you? Are you going into the Chuunin Exams after all? I hope you don't get hurt! I'd miss my favorite penpal!

Yours ever,

Sakura.

p.s. I just had a horrible thought? What if my baka-sensei nominates us for the Chuunin Exam? I don't think I'd be able to do it! But I don't want my teammates to go ahead of me... and – they don't think I can do it, either! I'm hopeless!

---

Three days later, Sakura, was sitting in her room, unsure, turning her entrance paper for the Chuunin Exam in her hand.

What should I do? My worst nightmare's just come true – and whoever that idiot was – whoever he was – even though I could see through that genjutsu... it doesn't really mean anything. None of it does... Geez... why me? He's right – even if he's bad at illusions... he's right... I'm not ready for this – not ready at all!

"Sakura -" Her mother, poking her head in, paused at the sight of her daughter's slumped shoulders. "Sakura? What's wrong?"

Her keen eyes landed on the paper in Sakura's hand.

"What's that?"

"N-nothing..." Sakura's voice trailed away.

Should I tell her?

And then, she remembered...

Maybe she's like that because she cares for you. Dad says people get most hurt by people closest to them. Ironic, huh? Something to watch out for, I guess.

Sakura looked up.

"It's a nomination for the Chuunin Exams."

"Oh!" Her mom came and sat down. "Congratulations! That weird – well – ah... that sensei of yours must have great beliefs in your abilities!" Her mom smiled. "That's my Sakura for you!"

"Yeah..." Sakura hunched even further, remembering Sasuke's harsh comments on her need for training. "Sure."

"But that's not what you want to hear," asked her mom. "You think, perhaps, you can't do it?"

"Yeah... I gotta choose to go tomorrow morning – or not..."

Her mom nodded.

"Whatever you choose, I'm right behind you... And speaking of which... I'll cook your favorite dinner for you – for my best kunoichi! There! And even better, here's your pen pal's letter! It came in today – and I just plumb forgot to give it to you when you came in!"

Sakura, snatching the letter out of her mother's hand, smiled.

"Thanks mother!"

Giving her mom a sideways hug, the Genin ran out to her balcony, and opened the scroll.

Her eyebrow twitched.

He's still really bad at his writing...

Dear Sakura,

You're so cute when you write this way! You seem so excited about life. For me, it seems to drag by slowly... It's really boring when you're alone by yourself all the time! I'm glad you're here to talk about your adventures.

Chuunin Exam time is exciting because of all the new people. And yes, Sand nins are really creepy sometimes... they need to relax...

You should too, Sakura grumbled.

Sensei says we have to enjoy ALL of life. Deep thought, huh... Right now, Sensei is flirting with some girls at an inn...

Sounds like something Shikamaru would say... lazy bastard... but... geez... a sensei hitting on girls when his Genin is watching? What the... and I thought Kaka-sensei was bad...

Well... I'm glad you got teammates who are there to protect you – but you know, as you get older (and stronger), I'm sure that you're going to protect others too. You, Sakura, will stand in front of them and show your back! I'm sure you will!

I think you need to have more confidence – I'm sure you'd do fine in the Chuunin Exam... who knows – maybe you'll grow a bit, even if you don't pass.

Ehhh?

As for me, I'm going. Not now, of course. Sensei's on an important mission - so I'll be probably going to the Autumn Exam. But whether I'll actually get past the first round, I'm not sure... We'll see.

This means I'm going to be super busy. I hope to write sometime... but it's probably not going to be soon!

Good luck!

Scarecrow

p.s. Sorry about not being able to go and see you... I'm sure you'll be fine! Just know that I'm cheering you on from far away!

Yeah, yeah, Shrimp, Sakura smiled. This kunoichi is going to kick ass! And get Sasuke's attention! You watch me, Scarecrow!

With newfound determination, Sakura woke up the next morning, thought about her decision again a sigh.

Scarecrow... you better be right...

Dear Scarecrow,

You were right. Even though I didn't pass through the rounds as far as I hoped, you know what? I learned stuff anyway. To be honest, even though you encouraged me alot, I didn't feel confident at the sight of all those Genin in the hallways... but your words helped me go through with it -

Well, even the boy I like told me that my genjutsu know-how was amazing!

But of course, not everything went well... the Chuunin exam was hard – and there were crazy people participating in it... and all of my schoolmates, too. But not everyone did well...

At one point, I had to protect my teammate's from this really evil guy who turned out to be some really important ninja in disguise! And what's worse – yes, it gets worse – in the final part of the exam, we were caught up in that big battle! You couldn't have missed it! It was horrible!

I got knocked out by a really evil Sand nin!

Isn't that a crazy exam? It ended up with – oh! I gotta go! My mom's calling me to run an errand – and I need to visit this really weird big eyebrow kid who saved me – he's in the hospital with some pretty bad injuries.

Gotta go!

In a hurry,

Sakura

p.s. You're right about Mom. I guess I just take things for granted.

---

Sakura dropped by the Academy to shove her letter through the mailbox. Iruka, walking past, paused.

"Eh? Sakura-chan? You're still writing to your pen pal?"

"Yes," the pink-haired Genin smiled at her bubbly old sensei. "I made a new friend... and we haven't stopped since then! It was a great idea, sensei!"

"Ahh!" Iruka laughed, scratching his head. "It's great to know SOMEONE liked my idea. The newest classes hate it as much as the old ones..."

Sakura smiled.

"Well... I gotta go! I'm visiting Lee today! See ya around, Iruka-sensei!"

---

Months passed, and there was no word from her pen pal. Sakura, although worried about whether he would even survive the next Chuunin exam, found even more stuff to do.

Things had gotten worse. When Sasuke left, she had felt so useless – but whining about it would do nothing. While Naruto was carted off to complete other teams for C-rank missions, Sakura had approached the new Kage for specialized training in medicine.

---

Perhaps, Scarecrow, you're right... Sensei said that it would be best for me – I've got the right skills and the best chakra control for our class – and I want to be there for Sasuke – and Naruto - they'll need me to be there to pick up the pieces... I can't let them down!

Still... why hasn't my pen pal written? Is he okay? I know it seems stalker-like to write another letter... but... but...

When summer ended and September passed, Sakura now seriously worried, found time in her busy schedule to scrawl a quick note to her penpal.

Dear Scarecrow,

You haven't written for a long time. Are you okay? Did your Chuunin exam go okay? I'm sorry... I wasn't able to attend because of a medic mission... but.. I'm sure you passed...

Is everything fine? I hope everything's okay for you! Seriously! I hope you aren't hurt!

Please drop a line – even if it's short! I need to know! I miss your letters!

Yours, Sakura

p.s. You're right! I'm going to become a medic! Thanks for your guidance!

---

She met Kotetsu and Izumo staggering out of the Academy. Izumo was balancing a pile of papers for the Kage to sign, while Kotetsu's arms strained to hold the edges of the old post box.

Sakura ran up to them.

"Sorry! Sorry! I just need to put the letter in!"

"Sakura-chan? You still do this shit?" ground out Kotetsu.

"It's not SHIT!" Sakura yelled, blasting the two Chuunin back. "And don't swear in front of a lady like that!"

"Sakura-chan..." whimpered Izumo.

"Just put it in!" Kotetsu howled. "My arms are breaking off!"

"Geez... what wimp," Sakura slipped her violet letter into the box. "And you're a Chuunin!"

With that, she sprang away, sticking her tongue out at the stuck Chuunins who could do nothing but fume at her teasing.

Struggling onward, Kotetsu sighed.

"She used to be so sweet..."

"And kind..." Izumo sighed.

"But now – that old hag... is turning the angel into a monster! WAHH!"

Kotetsu barreled into back of one Shuranui Genma.

"Tch. What idiots..." Genma smirked. "Delivery boys..."

Izumo pushed Kotetsu on, contenting himself with giving the senbon-sucking Examiner a death glare.

Later... later...

---

A week later, Sakura found a small scroll on her pillow. A short note from her dad: Came in the mail. Enjoy!

Bouncing up and down, she grabbed it and rolled it open. Her eyes widened at the first words.

Dear Sakura.

I'm sorry I didn't write for so long. Things have been crazy. My dad died.

No. That's a lie, really. The bastard – how can I call him dad? - he killed himself. I don't know what to say...

I'm too small – too young for him to leave me like this. My sensei is in shock too. He says I must stay with him – but I don't really want to because his eyes are just like everybody else – full of pity.

I can just see them saying... 'poor little boy'... I hate that. And some people laugh at me – and say that I'm going to turn out just like my dad. I feel pathetic. I don't want them to see my face and see him – so I'm thinking of getting a mask. What do you think?

As for living... well... I can't stay in the mansion, so could you send the letters to this new address? That'd be great. It's an apartment I chose for myself. It's in a quiet part of town, which I think is great.

Well... I gotta go...

Yrs. Scarecrow

p.s. Please don't tell anyone about my dad... It's kinda hush-hush. Only the higher ups talk about it. Thanks!

p.p.s. I'm sorry again for not writing sooner. It's been really busy here, packing everything up in the mansion...

---

Sakura bent over the scroll, tears rolling down her face.

Oh gods! I was so demanding when he became an orphan – in such a dishonorable way... I'm such a loser... I can't do anything either because he's so defensive... what can I say?

Raising her head, her green eyes hardened.

I'm going to be there for him. Not a pitying, patronizing type of care either... I will be that person there for him... even if he doesn't want it.

"Are you okay, Sakura?" asked her mom, noticing the girl's red eyes.

"It's alright... my pen pal's dad died suddenly... it was... upsetting..."

"Oh, that's too bad! Maybe you could bring flowers..."

"No... he's anonymous. He doesn't want me to know who he is..."

"Sounds like he's got confidence issues," Sakura's dad said kindly from behind a newspaper. "Most boys your age are like that."

"I think he's younger than me, actually..."

"Even worse then."

"Yeah... I just feel... so helpless, you know..."

"Write something to cheer him up, then," her mom suggested, as she disappeared into the kitchen. "Maybe you could find some nice flowers, dry them and put them in your next letter?"

"I'm not good at the whole flower thing..."

"You'll be fine – and I'll help you dry them properly."

"Thanks, Mom!" Sakura smiled, she ran out the door. "I'm off to do some training – I'll bring back flowers from Ino's shop!"

"Be safe!" Sakura's dad called.

Sakura grinned at her father's voice – inside her heart clenched.

He won't be hearing his father's voice anymore... I am one lucky girl...

---

Dear Scarecrow,

I'm sorry for making you feel bad. You shouldn't feel guilty. If I lost my dad, I'd be inconsolable for many months! The fact that you're already thinking for yourself and getting back onto your own two feet is amazing!

I think you're an example of determination to me!

I'm sorry about your loss – and you know what, if ever I meet you, I won't patronize you or pity you – because I know that you can take care of yourself and be a great ninja!

You know... I can't laugh or take it lightly... I know how it feels to lose someone close to you. The boy I loved all these years left the village! He betrayed the village to join our enemy! I can't tell you how my heart felt – it was like it was ripped out of my body... but you know...

It only made me want to get stronger – so I can bring him back. Nothing else matters. That's why, when my team broke up, I understood that this was a chance for me to train even more! I'm getting special tutelage from Tsunade – the famous medic Sannin!

Have you heard of her?

My sensei went to her to ask her if I was a good candidate. You know... my sensei is weird, perverted, late – but sometimes, he does the coolest things for us...

Oh yeah... wear a mask... my sensei has one – and all the girls in the village think it's cute – although it's kinda annoying since he doesn't let us see under it... I think wearing a mask is cool – but – if you do... please let me see your face!

Anyway, I gotta go!

Ja ne,

Sakura

p.s. I hope you like the flowers – they're the first time I've done dried ones!

Sakura mailed it off and sighed.

I hope it cheers him up... I wanted to write something funny – but... as life goes on... it's harder to find something to laugh about... I wonder... who he is...

A week and a half passed before Sakura got an answer.

Dear Sakura,

Sorry for the wait! Things sure have gotten busy around here! My sensei says that he's going to be testing for two new teammates! That means I'm going to be getting a team for real!

Ah! Good news! About time...

I hope they're going to be good. To be honest, I hate idiots. Idiots who run around crying like babies – or Genins who think they're all that... (yep, I passed the Chuunin exam!)

So much like Sasuke...

I mean... get over yourselves, you know?

What about you?

I'm sorry to hear about your teammate... well... people who don't follow rules are – well – not worth your time to lose your heart over... I think you need to focus more on your life. He obviously isn't worth it.

DAMMIT HE IS! WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, BRAT!

Still... if that's how you feel, Sakura-chan. Then, I guess, it's okay. I see that you are becoming stronger with this – I don't understand but – I hope it turns out for you okay.

Tsunade-hime? You mean the Slug Princess? Yeah. I know her. She hung out with my dad. Her teammate, Jiraiya-sama, was my dad's best friend. They're the awesomest! I want to become like them!

Well... except for the part where Tsunade gambles a lot and Jiraiya-sama is always peeking at girls... How dumb is that?

Well... at least he isn't perverted...

You know... in the war, they saved a lot of people with their power... although, the third one, Orochimaru... he's creepy, isn't he? I think he's going to do something bad one of these days... My dad once told me to say away from him. Whenever I see him walking down the street, I go down the other side. My old man, I guess, is right about SOME things... but...

Do I look stupid to you?

How should I know... I don't who you are...

Anybody looking in those eyes sees a monster. Tch. I'm small, but I'm NOT a baby! Oh! It's time to go, Sensei's at the door!

Ja ne,

Scarecrow

p.s. Thanks for the flowers! I'll treasure them forever!

Sakura laid the scroll down with a smile. Turning her head, she looked out over the village deep in thought. The medic was in her small office – one she shared with Shizune. The scroll lay open on top of a very thick medical tome.

I'm glad he's okay now... it seems he's getting on... but... he's changed... his heart's a little worse for the wear, I'm afraid. We'll, that's to be expected... It makes me – I don't know... Sad... I wish, I could hug him or something. But boys his age – if he's younger than me, don't really like that stuff... oh well... and he seems to know Tsunade and Jiraiya really well... It's odd. He's says such weird stuff – like about Orochimaru. How could he not know that Orochimaru is leading Sound against us? He seems to think that Orochimaru is still in the village...

Sakura suppressed a shiver as she reread the scroll...

Weird...

"Ohhh... a love letter?" asked Tsunade, peering over her medic's shoulder.

Sakura squeaked and rolled it up quickly.

"Hoe? Over Sasuke so quickly?" asked Kakashi, raising a grey eyebrow lazily.

"S-s-sensei..." stuttered Sakura. "You're here?"

"Just passing through... so... how's it going?"

"Okay..."

"So... another boy?"

Tsunade smiled.

"NO! Just a pen pal!"

"Ahh..." Kakashi smiled. "Pen pal! I remember that!"

"You had to do that too, sensei..."

"Sure. Hmmm... with a very attractive girl no less!"

"SENSEI! STOP BEING PERVERTED!"

Watching the student beat up her sensei, Tsunade chuckled.

Those two are so much fun together... sigh...

Letters of Yesterday

Chapter 3

Jounin Pain

"Broad horizon as I walk from your embrace
What I feel is nothing"
Fall For You by The Whitlams

Two years passed by. On the bright days, when the sun shone, when puffy white clouds drifted lazily by in the baby blue sky – and the young Chuunin of Konoha gathered around Shikamaru's favorite cloud watching seat – Sakura felt as if time was flying. Filled with busy days of tough missions, training (especially before her Chuunin Exam) and medical research.

Walking down the busy streets chatting with her mates -

"Kotetsu – no – no – Izumo! Pull. Him. Off. DAMMIT!"

"You can do the job yourself," laughed Izumo. "Show him your scary eyes. He'll run away."

"Not!" Kotetsu winked. "I'm training for Jounin. It's a good way to -"

"SHUT UP, DAAMMMITTT!" Sakura slammed the womanizer into the wall, steaming coming from her ears.

Izumo backed away. Slowly.

But there are days, Sakura sighed, looking out from her small balcony. Some days go by so slowly.

Below her Chuunins, Genins, Jounins and civilians went about their business. A myriad of lives she could never fathom.

It's sometimes such an overwhelming thought... Feels lonely...

"Ahh... Kakashi-sensei!" yelled Sakura, waving down at her sensei as he walked by with a large paper bag full of groceries.

"Yo, Sakura!" Kakashi smiled, his one eye crinkling.

Sakura looked down critically at what she could see – an uncombed grey bush of hair.

Geez... no wonder he's a bachelor at his age. A guy like that... sure he's cool and different... but...

"What's the matter?" asked Kakashi. "Bad hair day?"

"Like you should talk, sensei..." Sakura rolled her eyes.

She watched him walk away, chuckling, and sighed again.

Listlessly, she walked over to her table and reread the scroll opened there.

I'll be gone for a couple of months... it's because Sensei thinks I should start getting a higher profile for the Jounin nominations. IF there is going to be nominations this year, things are really tense around here. Oh! So how did your date go with this un-named man of yours?

Damn. I wanted to talk to him... ahhh... I guess it's the ramen shop tonight with Ino... Still... I might as well start a new letter.

Dear Scarecrow,

I remember thinking on the first day "Now that Naruto is gone, it sure has gotten quiet around here." I guess I didn't realize how much I'd miss his rather idiotic smile.

"Sakura!" Her mother called up the stairs. "Ino is here for you!"

Stowing her stuff away carefully and closing her balcony doors, Sakura went downstairs.

That night, she tapped her pen thoughtfully, watching the little black dots of ink form a vague shadow on the scroll.

Tsunade-sama isn't sure when he's going to be coming back. If he ever does.

Well… he will, that idiot is too stupid to get killed – he's the luckiest bastard ever. But I wonder how things will be changed. Already I know that things will be different – Baka-sensei and I have been training hard (separately… the late pervert has been kept busy by Tsunade-sama).

Today, I realized that it's been OVER two years since I saw the Naruto – and some days feel like they will last for years and years – it's like time crawls. And you stand there on a balcony or sit on the roof and look over the city and wonder if everybody else is feeling like you – and then you realize you can't ever fathom the whole mass out there – what they think, feel, desire… it's a huge world. And then… you feel –

No. I feel… so small.

Ah. I'm just being an idiot! You said something about nominations for Jounin. That's gonna be hard if people hate you – if they nominate you – surely that means they are acknowledging you? I'm sure that if you try, your teammates will acknowledge you too.

But that doesn't mean you should put the 'crybaby' down so much. You kinda sound mean. In my team, I was the 'crybaby' and because of you and Naruto, I was able to change – because you guys encouraged me and told me I could be strong too. Why don't you do that for your friend?

Geez.

Anyway, things have been good. This evening, I hung out with a whole pack of my friends. It's funny to see how much we've grown – and even older Chuunin like to hang out with us. What's even more weird is that this one guy is ALREADY a JOUNIN! And he's 16!

But that's the Hyuuga for you. They're always so… determined.

Yrs. Sakura

p.s. The date was a failure. Now the guy can't leave me alone! Dammit!

I wonder… I wonder if he'll ever get close to his teammates, sighed Sakura, as she looked over her letter. He's been with them for over a year now – and he's still so… distant… am I the only true friend he has? Pathetic, really! But then… I think that's what happens to geniuses. Expectations isolate them and then… Maybe Naruto is luckier than he thinks.

Pushing away from her desk, Sakura stripped quickly, slipped on her robe and crept into her bed with a sigh.

I think Scarecrow and I need a face-to-face talk. Before his pig-headedness hurts somebody…

---

The next couple of weeks were busy ones – but somewhere in between, Sakura felt the silences acutely. Like on the weekends – when she would normally be out on a mission with Team 7, or hanging with her two teammates –

Well… sort of… I just followed Sasuke around, and Naruto tagged along to be near me. Idiot.

"You seem to be more meditative these days," a deep voice said behind her.

"WAAHHHHH!" Screeched Sakura, jumping several feet in the air. She turned around, eyes white and scary. "KAKA-SENSEI! YOU IDIOT!"

"Ehhh…" Kakashi leaned back – ever so slightly (after all, he could never be scared by his student, right? Right.). "I was… just… saying hi…"

"It's okay," Sakura sighed, suddenly deflating at the sight of Kakashi's smiling… eye… "What are you doing up here anyway? Don't you have work to do?"

"Oh. Well… you know… I took a short break for – for the weekend only…"

"No. I didn't know. Nice. I'm sure you deserved it."

Kakashi sat down with her on the steps of the white promenade, looking out rather lazily over the cities, reveling in the wind that blew on his face and the sound of trees creaking and leaves rustling behind him.

His dark eye slid downwards past the orange book perpetually glued to his hand (so Sakura thought) and surveyed a scroll sitting carefully on her lap.

"Research?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow with curiosity. "Or your pen pal boyfriend?"
Sakura blushed.

"It's not like that – and yes, it is. So what?""

"If it isn't like that – what is it?"

Sakura shook her head.

"You wouldn't understand, sensei. It's some one who I care about – who needs my help. A loner genius who's always underestimated because of his small size. And there were other things in his life that…"

"Hoe…" Kakashi asked, his eye curving again in a smile. "I was like that once too!"

"Really? But people think you're so cool…" Sakura blinked – then scowled. "Are you trying to pat yourself on the back about genius again?"

"Well…"

"Hmph. Men. That's all they think about. As if it's the only thing to impress the ladies… You can't fool me!"

"No. No. I'm sure I can't," the Copy Nin smiled, stowing away his book.

"Sensei," Sakura called after her sensei as he placed a sandal casually on the metal bar of surrounding the promenade. "What do you say to a boy who's stubborn and won't listen to you?"

"Your pen pal?"

"Well…"

"What are you trying to tell him?" Kakashi twisted around, eye twinkling with amusement as his (still) young student strode, face determined, over to him.

"Well..." Sakura frowned. "I guess… I want him to get his relationships right with his teammates. He hasn't talked a lot about them, really. He's kinda uncommunicative, you know…"

"Some guys are… some people find it hard to express themselves."

"I don't –"

"I know," Kakashi said dryly. "But put yourself in the other person's shoes. Maybe he wants to keep his identity a secret."

"Hmmm… yeah… he's really strict about that…"

"And then, there's the whole – a guy must be strong and independent thing –"

"True… but… I did manage to gleam a few things… like the fact that the boy in his team is like his rival – he's a crybaby who's always late… and – well… my – er, um…- pen pal get's so angry… but I think he's just trying to distance himself from people who might reject him later on. And he's wayyyy too much into rules and regs… I mean. Rules are important but not more important than people, right, sensei? You said that to us the day you passed us…"

"Hmmm… yes… well… perhaps this, um… pen pal of yours shouldn't be changed by you – but rather… you should be there for him – no matter what."

Sakura nodded.

"I see… okay! I'll keep that in mind! Ja ne, Baka-sensei…"

"Ehhh… no respect…."

---

Dear Sakura-chan,

I'm sorry that you miss your teammate. I'm sure he's fine and that he'll come back to you with awesome stories. Training and traveling is the best!

Sometimes, you're too cute… although you still need to fix your handwriting…

Well… I don't do it as often because I'm doing more work with my team now.

I tried to keep your words in mind the other day, but – I swear – that kid was born just to try me. He was HALF AN HOUR late! Because "a girl lost her shoe" and he "had to find it"… geez… be more professional, you know? I didn't get to where I am by acting like an idiot!

No, you got to where you are by being an imbalanced workaholic…

Then, while on the mission, he totally screwed up by jumping at the cat too early – so we had to set up a totally NEW ambush for the stupid animal… Even Sensei looked kinda pissed. I think it's cause he wanted to get home earlier so he could take his girl out.

Sensei's kinda cool that way.

He says that when I grow up, all the girls are going to think that I'm cool.

I was just talking about pride…eh…

So… I guess I should apologize for not listening to you… I'll try to be more patient.

And even if I fail, will you still stay my friend?

I guess he doesn't understand unconditional love?

Oh no! I'm going to be late! I gotta run or else I'll never live it down from Sensei and Obito! I'll tell you about my new jutsu next time!

Just like Naruto, huh…

Yours truly,

Scarecrow

p.s. Your sensei… what's his name again? Baka? Kaka? Whatever… he seems kinda irresponsible. How do you live with that kind of a guy for teacher? Wow. You deserve a medal. When I grow up, I'm going to be the best teacher ever!

Sakura shook her head with a sigh.

Hopeless.

Then her mouth turned down in a grim smile.

No. Nothing's hopeless – he needs to know that I'll always be there to support him.

She rolled her eyes at the post-script.

And he needs to understand that there are people who have more important lessons than jutsus.

Glancing at the time, the pink-haired medic's eyes widened.

Damn! It's too late to write anything now… I got that meeting… well… I can write it during lunch break, I guess…

---

Dear Scarecrow!

Wow! This is going to be one long letter, so you better settle down for a bit!

First off –

NARUTO CAME BACK! WITH JIRAIYA-SAMA AS WELL!

How he has changed – Naruto… not Jiraiya-sama… he looks as old as ever! Hahaha!

But Naruto!

He's grown tall! And smarter… sort of… Of course, he's just as perverted as usual! DAMMIT! Why can't boys grow out of stupid perversion… Not that my sensei was any better. Apparently Naruto gave him a gift – the as yet to be released Makeout Tactics…

Gah! Idiot men and their perversion.

Anyway… yeah… there was this whole reunion thing. He was a bit in shock when he found out that I was a Chuunin… that everyone in the class was – except for him (and Sasuke…) Well… yeah…

And you know what? He didn't even comment on my new look! I'd been trying so hard to look like a lady and what did he say?

"You haven't changed at all, Sakura-chan!"

Is that supposed to be a compliment? GAAAHHHHH!

Then of course, we had to be put through another BELL test. What's up with Bell Tests? Did you ever have to do a bell test with your team? Probably not. My sensei is psycho, that's what.

Well… he's that good, is all. We couldn't get it any other way than Naruto's super surprising idea to pin him down by telling him the plot line of Make Out Tactics. WHICH MEANS NARUTO'S READ THAT SHIT! DAMMMITTTT!

What's with men and that series!

Anyway, we beat our sensei – it wasn't really fair, per se. But as Sensei says… you gotta learn how to manipulate your enemy. Find his weak spot and exploit it.

At any rate, it was a good time. I don't know what we're going to do now, though… without Sasuke, we're missing a teammate… will we have to get a new one? And as for missions – are we going to do mission duty? Or search for Sasuke?

Or train more together?

The future holds so many possibilities.

Which reminds me about you and your predicament with your team. I know that you find it hard to stand your teammate, but if you can, please try – over and over again. At least, stop beating on him. Like… make your first step – I don't know – keep it verbal…

But you know what, even if you never become best friends – if at best you remain rivals, that doesn't mean I think you're a bad, evil person (like Orochimaru). Just somebody who needs me to be there more and more.

I do think you need to sharpen your social skills because they seem to stink – but don't worry. I'll be there for you. Always. I promise.

As for my sensei, he's really annoying and stuff but you know what, I respect him because he taught us the value of teamwork. Teamwork is what matters – because people are more important than jutsu.

Ahhh! Look at this thing! It's super long! I should really stop now – but I just want to make sure you're okay and everything's fine… oh wait…

GAAKKK! You'd not guess! But someone's attacking Sand – I gotta run!

See you and love you always,

Sakura

---

Dear Sakura,

You had to go to Sand because of an attack? Odd. I don't remember hearing about that… Well… I guess that's not unexpected considering how hectic things have been in the village.

What's odd is you not knowing about the Sand problem… it was all over town…

But then… you're a Chuunin and you probably understand.

It's funny, until a week ago, I was a Chuunin, but now… you guessed it, I'm a Jounin! At the age of 12...

You're just… scary…

Sakura froze.

Wait... a... minute... He lied to me...he said he was young...

Sakura tried to count back the years.

Let's see... I was 11 when I started writing to him... he said he was young... but... if I counted back... he'd be... 6... which is young - but i mean - most kids start at six... or thereabouts... unless he's aging faster than me... creepy... it's like... four years have passed for him - and I've only gotten 2 years older... wierd... scary...

Sakura shook her head and blinked.

Whatever. Too confusing... I'm probably just tired or something. He probably lied. Six is normal... but... still... he doesn't lie as a rule... Later, Sakura, think on it, later...

The pink-haired medic focussed on the rest of the letter.

It's kinda sad though how it all happened – you're a medic, so you probably know how the war has taken a really bad toll on our shinobi ranks. Really crazy.

Rin talks a lot about it – you've probably met her sometime, since she's a medic too –

Rin? War? What the hell… weird…..

But anyway, I don't know what border you were sent to, but we had to travel to this bridge to blow it up – Obito, Rin and I. I was their Jounin leader, just nominated that day. Sensei had to go the largest front to help the people there. I guess things got really bad. We were supposed to cut off the supply lines.

I realize I shouldn't talk about this in detail… but…Well… We were attacked, Rin was kidnapped – and I felt that we had to continue on with the mission – because I thought the mission was all. But Obito said he cared more about Rin (well… he was always in love with her to begin with, I think) and he went after her alone…

And as I was walking along, I could hear nothing but his voice echoing in my head. It was kind of annoying. He said over and over again, "I think your dad's a hero, too."

I couldn't really see how that was possible – to think that breaking the regulations just for a teammate was actually good? But… maybe that's what my sensei (and your sensei) always talked about. He said that there was more to leadership and the shinobi walk… You said the same thing… so… maybe…

Anyway… I can't talk about it in detail – Sensei says it's still under examination… but Obito died trying to save me, and for my Jounin gift, he donated one of his eyes to me. Rin was the one who operated.

That's… very… familiar… creepy…

Because of that, my jutsu became complete… did I tell you about my jutsu yet? Well… I like to keep things secret – but it involves lightning – it makes my arm a blade of lightning – which is great, because I'm still kinda short.

The arm becomes a blade of lightning… why does Gai come to mind?

At any rate, I'm glad you told me what you thought. I'm glad you'll be there forever for me… It's kinda cool that a girl is okay being my friend. What until Sensei hears! Hahahaha!

Impudent brat… no better than Naruto…

Anyway, I gotta go! Duty calls!

Scarecrow

p.s. I'm sorry about slandering your sensei. I guess in retrospect, he seems to be kinda cool in a subtle clever sort of way. Tell me what happened at Sand!

Sakura shook her head.

Irrepressible, huh. And yet…

Her stomach flip-flopped…

So cute…. Arrghh! Geez, Sakura… falling in love with a boy younger than you are! Sick! Sick!

Her eyebrows furrowed.

Still… it's rather odd…. The whole war thing. Rin. Obito. His eye. The blade of lightning… It seems… so… so… familiar… and that weird age gap...

The medic sighed.

Now it's really going to bother me.

"Sakura-chaaan!" Naruto called, running up the medic's side. "What are you doing?"

"Reading…"

"What, what? A novel? Research? Or maybe…" The blonde kitsune leered. "A lover, perhaps."

"Idiot!" Screeched Sakura, giving Naruto a really hard upper cut.

"Who is it?" asked Yamato, dropping down to a crouch beside her. "From Tsunade?"

"No…" sighed Sakura. "It's from a pen pal –"

"NO WAY!" shouted Naruto. "You still WRITE that shit?"

"It's NOT SHIT! He's my friend! DAMMIT!"

"Well… you are a girl…"

"What's THAT supposed to mean? Eh?"

"Uh… nothing, Sakura-chan…"

"Pen pal?" asked Sai, blinking in confusion. "What's that?"

"Pen pals are –"

"A stupid waste of time," Naruto said folding his arms. "Just like this trip to the spa."

"You are criticizing my generosity and desire for teamwork?" asked Yamato, switching on his scary eyes. "Perhaps you prefer punishment…"

"No. No. Not at all," Naruto backed away.

Yamato coughed and smiled at Sakura, completely changed.

Sakura smiled back weakly.

I'm surrounded by freaks. Freaks! Where's Kaka-sensei when you need him?

"What were you saying?" asked Sai.

"Well… back in the Academy, Iruka-sensei set up a pen pal program," Sakura said, eyes glowing with the faraway memories of those golden years. "We had to put our letters into this old post box and then the letters were distributed manually by somebody – I think it Izumo and Kotetsu were roped into it… but then, afterwards, all we had to do was put the letter into the box and it would go to the post office and then from there, out to our pen pals. My pen pal is anonymous… but that's okay. We can be more free with each other that way."

"How… odd…" Sai turning away. "And sort of useless, huh."

"That's probably going to be the only thing I agree with you about," Naruto snorted.

Yamato just shook his head.

"I think…" he paused for effect. "Another bath is in order. You boys will be coming, yes?"

Sai smiled.

"I don't see why I have to see puniness again but…"

"Who's calling who puny – you gay pervert!"

"NARUTO! SAI! You guys are getting ANNOYING!"

Several minutes later, Sakura walked off in a huff, scroll crumpling in her clenched fist. Behind her the two young men were cradling lumps on their skulls. Yamato watched her thoughtfully.

That handwriting…

---

Dear Sakura,

You haven't written for awhile. I'm kinda worried. Did I say something annoying in my last letter?

How are things going? Life has gotten quiet now that the treaties have been signed. Although… there have been rumors of a giant tailed monster.

How weird is that?

Anyway! I hope you write soon!

Missing you,

Scarecrow

---

Dear Scarecrow,

Things have gotten really complicated.

My sensei, for example, has been laid up in the hospital for a long time – and has JUST got out. That's what happens when you're a genius and you overdo it!

People sometimes go above and beyond their capabilities for other people – don't they?

Well… that's my sensei. And Naruto, too, is no better.

Yamato-sensei, Naruto and Sensei have been hanging out a lot lately – I think they're training Naruto in something… It has to do about wind natures and stuff like that – but Naruto never makes any sense to start with.

Yamato-sensei can make a huge waterfall? Seriously? I don't believe it.

At any rate, Naruto's left me alone – and Sai has been spending a lot of time in the library trying to figure out how to socialize… he needs help. Seriously. Calling Ino 'gorgeous' – but I'm a 'hag'? A hag! That's what he called me!

I am so not a hag!

He's gonna have to spend A LOT more time in the library if he's going to succeed. We'll ALL have to work a lot harder if we're going to succeed…

We DID meet Sasuke again – but he's so changed! I don't know what to think of him anymore.

Sensei says that 'Sasuke is Sasuke' and that inside he's still the same person. But Sasuke isn't the boy I loved – oops! You know my secret now! Ahh… don't tell anyone… okay? I don't want people to laugh at me for holding onto a crush so pathetically all these years.

At any rate, the future seems really uncertain now. Who knows what tomorrow holds – right?

But this I know – with your encouragement, and the backing of Naruto and Sensei, Sasuke will be brought back. Because with teamwork, we can do anything!

Yours forever,

Sakura.

Letters of Yesterday Chapter 4 ANBU Insanity
" I'll fall for you When I get on and shake my pride..."
"Fall For You" by The Whitlams

On one of her many border patrolling missions, Sakura, sitting under the awning of a small tea cafe in one of Fire counry's small but bustling border towns, sighed. Sometimes I feel like I've gone so far and yet - have not reached anything... Like becoming a Jounin - but did that do anything? Change anything? Bring Sasuke back? Stop the war? Why is it that when you take a step forward, you slide two steps back? A creaky old voice jolted her out of her rather morose thoughts.

"Life is a journey, the road takes you up mountains - and down into valleys - all that matters is that you never stop walking."

Several weeks later, Sakura, after the monthly Jounin meeting in Konoha, told her drinking buddies the old man's proverb.

"After your trip, this is the most exciting thing you could say?" Naruto yawned. "How dull... you sound like the old lady..."
Tsunade, sitting behind the blonde, in another booth, twitched.
"It's Tsunade-sama to you, brat!" She yelled, turning around to plant her fist in his skull.
"Life is a bowl of ramen," Chouji said as he paused at Sakura's booth. "You've got to eat everything in it - the noodles, the meat AND the veggies. Just like taking the good and the bad."
"Hmmmm..." Naruto nodded. "That sounds right to me..."
"It would," Sakura snorted.
"I fail to see how veggies are bad..." Kakashi blinked, lowering his book in thought. "Without vegetables, a shinobi can get ill - seriously..."
"These life metaphors are lame," Ino rolled her eyes. "Something just like a big forehead to come up with..."
"Well... at least I'm thinking, pig."
Shikamaru nudged his teammates along to another booth, mumbling that life was a shouji game.
"You have to think twice before taking a step - because there's no going back on your mistakes..."
Everybody was silent as they thought about their losses and people in their pasts who were gone because of unforseen, unconsidered, unplanned actions.

Obito.
Asuma-sensei.
Oto-san, Okaa-san...
Sandaime...

"Life," Genma grinned, as he winked at Sakura. "Is a night spent with a girl - hold on to the climax since -"
"No perversion!" Iruka yelled at the Special Jounin, jabbing him in the ribs with a hard elbow.
"Why a girl?" grumbled Raido (sitting on Genma's OTHER side), slightly pissed.
"And it can't be any girl -" Kotetsu put in, eying Sakura.
"You don't say..." The medic said dryly.

Tenzou and Sai, sitting down, ordered drinks and relaxed bonelessly into the padded booth's seats. Sakura found herself uncomfortably squished between Naruto's elbows and Kakashi.

But in a way... it's nice... that we can all be here together... all of us... We're changing bit by bit - but in some ways, staying the same. Like Naruto is more powerful - but still dumb... Kakashi-sensei... reading a perverted book as usual... but... he's - that scent - is he wearing - sandalwood? Wow... nice...

Sakura smiled - then her eyebrow twitched (equilibrium destroyed) as Sai asked:
"Girls? You saying old hag here is a beauty? I thought Ino-chan -"

Sakura's fist flew past Naruto's nose - a few minutes later, Sai was nursing a new bruise on his cheek. Kakashi's perceptive gaze focused as he peered over his book. His eyebrows rising at the sight of such a violent Sakura.

Geez... remind me to never piss her off... and why is she leaning so close...

"What do you think life is?" Sakura asked the dark-haired ex-ANBU, trying not to pay attention to idiots and sandalwood scents.

Tenzou blinked.
"Life? Ah well... I don't know..."
"Life -" Sai said helpfully, after a moment. "Is a painting. How beautiful it becomes depends on you. Don't fuck it up."
"Oh really?" Naruto laughed. "I think life as a ramen bowl makes more sense..."
"Yeah - the pig WOULD say that..."
"Say that again!"
"Yeah - the pig WOULD say that..."
"Don't take me literally DAMMIT!"

The group eventually left slowly - wishing they could spend more time with each other - knowing that the various teams wouldn't be seeing each other for a while. Saying goodbye to the Rookie Nine was especially hard for the tender-hearted medic.

It's hard to let them go - knowing you aren't there to save the day all the time... and that's an egotistic thought, isn't it, Sakura... because, there are out there people with wounds that can never be healed... Sakura left eventually with Kakashi - Tsunade and Jiraiya on their heels.

"You know..." Kakashi said to no one in particular. "Life is a book - of images - sensations - memories - ideas - and they all pile up until you start to forget the beginning - and sometimes you forget where you wanted to go - or what you should do -"
"Yeah..."
"It's more important, then, to be able to stop and look back - maybe you are missing important facts -"
"Wow..."
"Cliched," snorted Tsunade.
"Not romantic..." Jiraiya shook his head. "The boy is NOT a writer, for sure..."
"That's what I think..." Kakashi ignored his elders' chuckles and grinned, eyes curving into crescents. Sakura's heart warmed up.

He's so cool...

"That's why I always reread Icha Icha..." Kakashi waved his current favorite.

Or not...

---

Dear Sakura,

Thinking about your teammate - I know you'll do fine! My sensei told me teamwork is the most powerful thing in the world - next to love.

I guess that means with your love AND teamwork, your friend has no chance!

He's lucky to have such a nice, courageous, determined girl like you going after him! I'm kinda jealous!

The other day, I saw this nice looking girl - but when I said 'hello', she just laughed at me and giggled and whispered to her friends. I think she was talking about me.

I felt like an idiot. I guess I'm not interesting to girls because I don't know what to give to or even expect from them...

Grrrr...Inner Sakura shook her fist. A boy at the age of sixteen, not yet getting a girl because they judge him by what his father did? Well... I oughtta... How can they do something like that to him? If I knew him personally, I'd...

Sakura stopped herself. And then blushed.

It doesn't - that's crazy...

Well, I gotta go! Duty calls! Best of luck! Yours ever, Scarecrow

Sakura shook her head.

Sometimes, I don't know what to do. All I can do right now is what Kaka-sensei suggested: encouraging him... still... As she placed the letter with all the others in her specially decorated blue box, Sakura shook her head. He sure is mysterious and odd... like the things he talks about... it's like he's in another world... or even... Here the medic froze. What if he's crazy? Or insane? No... impossible... he's relatively normal - and he's given me alot of encouragement. And he's wise. But it's odd - some things he's written... rings bells...

---

Sakura was very thoughtful the rest of the month, unsure of what to do.

And she was aware of time running out. War was ready to burst any day - the tense atmosphere, the Jounin jumpiness, and that horrible feeling of waiting - all these piled a heavy burden on the pink-haired medic's shoulders.

Every sound had her jumping - since her senses were always alert.

Meetings - whether they were the monthly Jounin meetings, weekly medic meetings or the daily run-ins with teammates - had her busy with things to sign, deliver, heal, retrieve or send.

Relaxation, rest and recreation seemed like a far off dream.

Including letter writing.

Rereading the letters in her very rare, spare time, she mentally noted all those odd... things... It's what Kaka-sensei said: "It's more important, then, to be able to stop and look back - maybe you are missing important facts -" And sure... there is... some thing here...

People don't seem to like me alot when they find out my name...

I don't have anything in particular that I like... that I'd tell you anyway -

So hard to be the youngest in the class

it's ridiculous that a kid as young as me should be in the academy

I'll be the youngest Genin in history ever!

As for me, I'm going...

he killed himself

Tsunade-him?... she hung out with my dad... Jiraiya-sama was my Dad's best friend...

Orochimaru... he's going to do something bad one of these days...

you had to go to Sand because of an attack? Odd. I don't remember hearing about that...

you're a medic, so you probably know how the war has taken a really bad toll on our shinobi ranks

Rin... a medic too

for my Jounin gift, he donated one of his eyes to me...

my arm a blade of lightning

rumors of a giant-tailed monster

It's making me wonder - who is he?

"You're muttering to yourself again," Naruto sighed, looking over her shoulder. "Sai, tell her..."
Sai nodded. "She's like an old lady now..."
"Say that again, idiots!" The twenty-year old girl punched the boys out the tavern.

Kakashi stepped in nonchalantly.

"Thanks for opening the door but -" He scratched his head. "How can I say this... the bartender is gonna be pissed."
"I'll just put it under Miscellaneous in the budget," Sakura sniffed, dusting off her hands. "I was in the middle of something..."
"You've been saying that for a long time," Naruto groaned, getting shakily to his feet.
Sai painfully followed suit.

There's that monstrous strength again... Kakashi sighed. Why are all women scary?

Sakura shrugged.
"Who cares?"
"Beautiful as the cherry blossom but with toughness of steel," leered Genma. "My kind of girl."
"Sorry," Sakura leaned away. "I don't want to die at the hands of Raido."
"Besides, there are other better people out there - other than you perverts -" Kakashi frowned.
"Jealous, sensei?" Genma winked.

Kakashi glared at the Examiner.

"Say that again..."

There was a short silence.
Sakura ordered a drink.

"Want one, Sensei?" she smiled sweetly. "Or are you going to pay for me?"
"Eh?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow.
"That's what you're supposed to do!" laughed Sakura. "I guess you might be Konoha's Number One Technician for Jutsu - but admit it, Kakashi, you're a nerd who can't get a girl!"
Kakashi blushed - then glared at his student.
"I -"
"Hm. Oh well. I think it's cute..."
"You think social retards are cute?" Genma blinked.
"Well... I can play that role too!"
"It only works for cool, mysterious types, right, Kakashi?"

The pink-haired medic winked at her sensei as she flirtatiously nduged him.

Kakashi turned a deeper red.

If possible.

"I gotta go and check some files in!" he said in a rush and poofed away.

Sakura laughed.
Naruto turned to watch her.

She's so different now that Sasuke's gone. He's been gone so long - I think she's grown out of him... maybe... free... independent... strong...

"That Kaka-sensei - he's so easy to rile, ne?" Sakura shook her head. "Totally shy, really cute..."
"Uh-huh..." Genma nodded slowly, as the gears in his head began to turn.
"Well," Raido shrugged, turning away from his conversation with Izumo about blades and ice jutsu.
"Hatake-sempai never really dated or anything. I guess being a genius takes up alot of your time... I know he has many admirers... but I've never seen him on a date... and -"
"Yeah," Genma sighed. "There's that too -"
"What?" asked Sakura.
"Asuma once told me that Kakashi told him that there was only one girl he loved. And if he couldn't have her, he would have no other..."
"AHHHHH!" Gai burst into tears. "KAKASHI'S LIFE IS A TALE OF DISSAPPOINTMENTS IN THE SPRINGTIME OF HIS YOUTH! SUCH SADNESS! BUT!" And here the green spandex-clad sensei paused. "This is news indeed! Perhaps the dating game is one of the ways I can clinch victory..."
"GO! GO! GAI-SENSEI!" cheered Lee. "YOU CAN DO IT!"
"Dream on..." Neji snorted.
"Why? Why? Why?" moaned Tenten.
"Still... Gai-sensei is right..." Sakura admitted. "It is romantic if you think about it..."
"Romantic?" Genma stared. "I guess. Dumb, if you ask me..."
"We didn't..." Raido mumbled.
"I mean, shinobi shouldn't be losing their hearts like that..."
"Makes you wonder though," Kotetsu leaned in suddenly. "Who'd wanna bet he's a virgin?"

A thoughtful silence.

"I could see that..." Genma nodded.
"Impossible. He's a pervert." Sakura disagreed.
"Why'd you say that?"
"Well, Jiraiya is his sensei's sensei, right?" Izumo pointed out, sensibly.
"And he reads Icha Icha," Sakura added.
"Naw... That doesn't matter. Reading porn would be a good cover up for being a virgin..." Genma shrugged.
"It's worth looking into."
"Be sure to tell me," Sakura rose, a scroll in hand. "I need a good laugh these days."
"Sure. You got a report to write?"
"No. A letter."
"To that penpal?" Tenzou asked behind her, carrying a couple of drinks.
"Yeah..."
"Penpal?" Kotetsu laughed. "You still doing that shit?"
"Watch your language, damn you!" Sakura's foot buried itself in the loud-mouthed Jounin's face. "It's not SHIT!"

She stomped off, fuming.

"I said it before - beauty of a blossom," Genma grinned as Izumo offered a clean kerchief for Kotetsu's bloodied nose. "But the strength of a blade..."
"Yeah..." Tenzou mused. "Say... Kotetsu, Izumo... I help you carry the post box for you..."

---

Dear Scarecrow,

I'm sorry to hear that some evil bitches hurt your feelings like that.

Don't pay attention to them. I think they're callous, evil, superficial beasts who don't know what's good for them. If I was there, I'd have smacked them.

People have no right to look down on you.

You're nice, shy, smart and powerful. It's about time people acknowledge you.

But still, it sounds good to me - you're starting to get interested in girls. Finally, you're getting a life. I should be the one who's jealous. Do you have any girl specifically that you like? Do tell!

To be honest, I've dated a bunch of guys around town - but nobody has made my heart jump.

Although, lately, the boy who I used to crush on - the Uchiha - has seemed dim to me. I feel disloyal - but when I see him - I don't see him as I used to see him in my dreams - a future of him and I together. No. It makes me want to cry - I feel ashamed. I thought that love would last forever - but I see now that life and circumstances are like a furnace that purifies your affections. And the weak ones wither away like straw. But the ones that last forever are like gold. What do you think?

At any rate, this means that my goal of getting him back is even clearer, being freed of clouded judgement.

Just writing this, I feel better already.

Thanks alot for listening!

You're the greatest!

Love,

Sakura.

---

And that's when it all spilled out. Like an avalanche - the calm before the storm disappeared in the maelstrom called war. For Sakura, now that the war between Sound and Konoha (with various interventions on the other Hidden Villages) had begun in earnest, life as a medic had switched into high gear. In between writing reports, conducting tests, making up med packs, pre-packaging healing jutsu scrolls and giving psychological and emotional therapy to the wounded, Sakura found little time to think, much less write.

A whole season passed before the pink-haired medic fully realized that her letter had gone unanswered by her normally regular penpal.

But under all the other anxieties of war -

Where is Sasuke?

Why hasn't he shown himself before now?

What are the goals of the Akatsuki?

Am I strong enough?

What if Yamato dies and Naruto snaps - and goes out of control?

Kakashi is exhausting himself with his Sharingan - what will I do if he gets killed?

Can I live without them - without him?

One night, falling exhausted into her bed, she felt something hard under her stomach. It was a pack of scrolls.

Damn. The mail.

She opened a bunch of them.

Naruto's postcard: HEY! Life's a blast on the front lines! Wish you were here to kick ass with me! Get Tsunade to transfer you! Can't say much 'cause Kaka the Baka says things are mostly 'super secret' and on a 'need to know' basis! Ha! The idiot is just acting all bossy because he got made into a big shit leader... general... thing! Sai says hi! Hopes you're looking better! Come to the front lines to punch his fat face in! ja ne!

What an idiot... it reminds me of old times...

Kakashi's scrawl on a crumpled sheet of paper: Can't say much because one is never too sure. Seriously, Naruto never realizes the importance of secrecy. Geez. What a kid. But to be honest, I'm glad he's here to be that hero that the Yondaime said he was to be. You'd be proud of him. I wish you could be here - a medic of your skills up on the front lines would be the best thing we could have. I'm talking to Tsunade about a transfer for you - I hope you forgive me of that selfishness. But I know you can do it! Kakashi.

Tears stung her eyes.

I know you can do it!

Kaka-sensei... Kakashi... and you have the worst handwriting... kinda like...

Sakura blinked and then shook her head...

Now THAT's crazy... you need some sleep...

Turning away, she picked up Genma's long gossipy page on Anko and Ibiki's torrid relationship, Raido's 'confession' to him on the battlefield - 'yes, we're lovers', Shino stalking a Sand girl... Neji making eyes at Tenten - and Lee getting jealous - Kakashi as monosyllabic as ever...

Sakura couldn't help but laugh. Just like Naruto in his own dry way... ahh... I miss you all - you guys...

There were only two scrolls left - one was beat up and dirty looking - the address was smudgy.

Dear Sakura,

Thanks for the encouragement! I'll try to be more self-confident. And you're right - there's a girl who I've lost my heart to - but I can't tell you - you'll laugh. But she's strong, courageous, determined, beautiful, honest and selfless. And she's got an inner fire in her - worthy of Leaf kunoichi.

You know... Life is a book of images, you know, memories and ideas and they all pile up until you start to forget the beginning - and sometimes you forget where you wanted to go - or what you should do. That's what my grandfather once told me and - well - HIM... you know... Father said... It's more important, then, to be able to stop and look back - maybe you are missing important facts. It's okay to second guess your loves - because life is so changeable - every page is a new start and when you turn the pages back, you can see the changes that you never noticed before.

That sounds familiar... and it's true...

Life is a book - every page is a new start - and sometimes you forget where you wanted to go -

Wanted to go -

The memory niggled irritatingly in the back of her mind.

Who SAID that...

At any rate, things have gotten really hectic around here what with my Sensei's wife having her baby and all. I guess, there's some hush-hush stuff about it - I can't really say much - but I think Sensei is really worried - so he's not leaving her side. He says I'm supposed to wait for his signal - but what if I can't get to his side in time? What if something goes wrong? I have a really bad feeling... He said everything would turn out just fine - but you know how things go.

Besides, there have been rumours that I heard around town about different factions starting up. What if people start to fight each other in Konoha? I'm not even sure if I know which side is the right one. I guess I'll just stick by Sensei. Oh! I gotta go! Something is happening outside! The sky just turned deep red! It's like the sun came up or something! Gotta run!

Love,

Scarecrow

Sakura shivered.

He's talking about... The Kyuubi - as if it's real - He's crazy or -

Without a moment's thought, Sakura tore open the newer (slimmer) scroll and scanned the rest of the contents.

Dear Sakura,

I don't know why I'm writing. I guess I just gotta write for the sake of it - kinda like a bad habit. This reliance on another... I don't know. I guess from your lack of response, you're either dead or injured or something.

Shit... the older letter didn't come early enough - damn... he thinks I'm dead... those mailmen are going to hear from me...

You could say things went good and they went bad. Don't they always? Well... I won't be writing for awhile. I've decided to join ANBU. It's best this way. Don't worry. I can take care of myself. People are talking alot about it again - you know the whole "he's too young thing." Well... I don't care... I'm going to work hard - and I will get in. I'm guessing it might take me a year or so - but I will succeed. When I'm sixteen I think I could pass their test, forget what other people say... they said the same thing when I graduated as a Genin... as a Chuunin... as a Jounin... Whatever. I really can't talk about what happened yet - it seems so unreal. It's been several weeks and still...

Sensei's dead.

Rin's dead.

And I'm so alone - it's so cold here - I guess, it's cold wherever you are not -

That doesn't make much sense... does it?

I miss you tons,

Scarecrow

p.s. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you. I'm sorry we could never meet.

Holy -

Sakura didn't know what to think.

What's going on here? I'm so confused! This is impossible! This person has to be crazy - a stalker? A psychopath?

Throwing herself back onto her bed, Sakura tried to think it over carefully - but worry, exhaustion and her comfy pillows won the fight. As she fell asleep, she could only sigh -

Don't go - Scarecrow - that's a dark path, I can't follow -

---

Next morning, the weak morning sunlight filtered dimly through the dusty shutters of Sakura's apartment. The medic awoke stiffly - suddenly aware that she'd fallen asleep in her clothes, staggering away from her bed - scrolls, sheets and clothes falling about her, she made her way groggily to the show - stripped and managed to get some part of her awake under the water.

It was there, under the gentle fingers of the hot water, Sakura remembered her crazy night.

Those letters - what to do?

After making and polishing off a small breakfast, Sakura dug out the blue box - now covered in a heavy film of dust.

It's been several months, hasn't it, Scarecrow? It's my fault you think I'm dead... I should've taken the time - If he's actually worth while worrying over - muttered another part of her. He might be a monomaniac for all you know. Or someone who's been lying to you all this time - making up outlandish stories. Although - who would make up stories about a sensei dragging a baby out to war with the Kyuubi? A SICK mind... Whatever - what you have to do, Sakura told herself. Is go back to the source. That is, the original address. I know Iruka-sensei said we weren't supposed to snoop -

It wasn't hard to find the first couple of letters. Neither was it hard to copy down the address and get out the door, ready for another day at work.

It was hard to actually find the house.

Nobody seemed to know what the road was - and when somebody told her - she didn't know how to get to it. Standing there, heaving a big sigh, Sakura felt both annoyed and sad.

How the heck can I help him if I can't even find him?

"Sakura-chan?" Hinata's gentle voice broke into the medic's thoughts.

Sakura jerked to reality - blushing red as she became aware of the fact she was standing in the middle of the street spacing out.

"Eh... Hinata-chan! Sorry... I was just thinking..."
"You look worried."
"Yes. Well... I can't find this street..."
"Let's see..." Hinata looked at the paper. "I know it," she said after a pause.
"Oh? Really?"
"It's a couple of blocks over from our house. In the older section of town - where the older clan ghettos are. Nobody really goes there anymore. It's pretty dead..."
"Oh..."

Sakura blinked - then smiled.

"Thanks, Hinata!"
"If you want, I could walk you there -"
"No, no. You look busy! Shopping and all - see ya!"

Sakura hurried off, even more worried than before. the older clan ghettos are. Nobody really goes there anymore. It's pretty dead - Geez... Where did you come from, Scarecrow?

Once she got her bearings, the street was easy enough to find. The address was not. Half of the houses seemed to have no numbers or anything. Just blank signs across the tops of the doors (or down the sides) where once upon a time, names had been gaily painted - and which had, over time, been slowly washed away by the wind, rain and sun.

It was blank. Dead.

Hinata is right. It's dead. Silent as a graveyard. It is a graveyard. Of houses. Of memories.

Walking down the empty, wide road, Sakura couldn't help but shudder as she passed the rotting gates, which showed patches of wilderness and ruins behind them. Doors to desolation. Loneliness.

It's cold here -

Scarecrow - you come from here? Or came from here..

A traitorous voice said slyly. Or maybe he NEVER came from here to begin with. Maybe, just maybe this is just a wild goose chase...

Because of the lack of numbers, Sakura couldn't even tell which house was which. Number 11 suggested the left side of the street - but still - Somewhere a wooden door banged open and then shut with the wind -

Somebody's left their door open - and never come back -

One estate had iron gates - the sign beside it was cracked down the middle - and the letter 1 suggested something to Sakura -

21? 11? 10? Kami knows... Still... even if it WAS this one - it's not a really good sign... These bars look like they haven't be opened for quite some time.

The huge garden in the middle of the palisade had gone wild - taking over the sidewalks - a green carpet of weeds, wild flowers and grass running up toward the main house, which was set slightly back. On either side of the walkway, what had once been tiny shops and houses for the clan's extended families, also lay silent. It was totally huge and - empty.

It was a shock. Sakura didn't know what to think.

I guess it's like what Sasuke-kun's Uchiha house is like - a total opposite to downtown Konoha. Nobody's come here in so long - it's like it's been forgotten. Scary... that it is so easily left in the past...

"Hey, Sakura-chan..."

Sakura jumped - startled out of her rather depressing thoughts - whipping around, kunai in hand to meet Tenzou face to face.

"GEEZ! Tenzou! You shouldn't scare me like that..."
"Sorry..." Tenzou waved his hand. "Didn't mean to... I didn't think your guard was so low..."

Sakura pouted - then stuck out her tongue.

"I was just looking for something?"
"All the way out here?" Tenzou blinked. "What did you want? An artifact? Or are you looting houses now?"
"Ahahaha!" Sakura laughed sarcastically. "Where did you pick up that sense of humor? Let me guess... Sai? Kiba? Naruto? Geez... you guys on the front lines - you need me to keep me in line, don't you?"
"Actually, you don't know how right you are - I've got orders here -"

Sakura took the scroll, opened and read it and then, nodded.

"Seems like you need a female's touch out there."
"You could say that," Tenzou scratched his head. "We all miss you, Sakura. Seriously."
"Sounds like something Kakashi would say."
"Ahaha! Yeah..."
"Well... I don't see why not - it's not like hanging around these old houses are doing me any good. I need to get a breath of fresh air..."

Tenzou nodded, his eyes casually falling to the open scroll in her other hand.

"A letter?"
"Hmmm..." Sakura turned to look through the iron bars at the lonesome mansion, the empty houses, the wild garden and creaking swing moving back and forth in the wind.

Creepy... no wonder Scarecrow left this neighborhood... who would want to bed down with ghosts? Unless you're crazy... and he might be crazy...

Tenzou tipped his head.

"Your penpal came from around here?"
"Well... he's not here, obviously," Sakura shrugged. "I don't know..."

She jerked the scroll's end from Tenzou's light grip.

"No looking. It's personal."

And with that, she disappeared, confession flapping in the wind.

And I'm so alone - it's so cold here - I guess, it's cold wherever you are not - That doesn't make much sense... does it?

Yamato shook his head - it was way too confusing...

What is life, Sakura? Life is - even I can not describe it -

---

Sakura finished packing in two days, left Konoha on the third day with Shizune and Tenzou, arrived on the border within five days and made herself at home with her remaining comrades.

The important ones: the Rookie Nine, each of whom seemed to have more lives than a cat.

Dangers seemed to be the staple diet - and between the competitions of the Jounin, Special Jounin and ANBU, Sakura had her hands full from the get go.

Three weeks into the job, she managed to find some time alone in her tent to relax.

Kakashi had no new person for her to poke at. Naruto wasn't in her face about dating somebody. Genma wasn't bugging her for a date himself (he was too busy cuddling with Raido).

It's great to just be able to kick back... Everything is done - except for -

Sakura sighed.

Even if he's crazy, I can't leave Scarecrow in the dark... You gotta answer him. He deserves that much. After all, he's been that encouragement when you needed it. He's been there for you all the time. He's never ever lost faith in you... He's like everybody else in Konoha - Naruto, Genma, Neji, Lee - even Ino. And Kakashi... Sakura sighed at the mental picture of her ex-sensei stripping down for her, to display yet another wound on his already scarred torso...Okay... get a grip, Sakura... Must. Write. That. Letter!

It was hard writing to a psychopath - or - what? Sakura wondered. A ghost? Creepy... just like you to get stuck in something ridiculous.

But no sooner did she put the pen to paper, did that familiar happiness return - he was her FRIEND. Who'd always been there for her. Who else could he be?

Dear Scarecrow,

I'm so sorry for not answering you. But for some reason your first letter came with your second one. I guess the address wasn't clear... I gotta talk to the post office about it. At any rate, it sounds like things have gotten bad for you... I'm sorry to hear about the death of Rin and your Sensei. I don't know what to say. I worry everyday for my sensei and Naruto - and even Sasuke. People are dying here on the front lines - they're coming back from missions hurt and unable to move. People have burnt themselves out - with weird emotional disorders and things from genjutsu attacks and things like that.

It's bad. But you know -

I know that it's a fact of life. It's the shinobi's life - we fight - we risk it all for what we've got - companionship, love - friendship - don't you think? What you fight for is what your teammates showed you?

Friendship.

At any rate, on the front lines here, things are crazy... but we'll see... I hope I can make everyone proud - especially you! I hope you come out of ANBU - to meet me. You know I'd never turn you away.

Wish me luck,

Ever loving,

Sakura.

---

Izumo was returning to Konoha for two weeks - delivering personal messages, important letters and lists of supplies needed. Kotetsu and Iwashi accompanied him. Waving goodbye, Sakura knew her letter was in good hands.

"Remember," she had told the dark-eyed Jounin. "It needs to be put in the little post box at the school. And check with my mother for my mail. Some stuff might
have come in for me... Check before you leave, too."
"Sure thing," he had smiled. "Anything for you, Sakura!"
"Thanks, I appreciate it," she smiled, wishing yet again, that the war hadn't come between her and Scarecrow.

Or rather, me and Kakashi. All this fighting - there's no real time for loving...
"Lovesick, Sakura-chan?" asked Naruto.

Sakura turned away, deep in thought.

"Uh-oh... I think you hit the mark..." Genma grinned. "I wonder who the lucky man is."

Kakashi watched his top medic quietly.

"Nobody deserves her," he said softly.
"Hmmm... whoever she names as her love, deserves her. Her choice marks a special person," Tenzou smiled. "What hinders love is lack of self-acceptance. Don't you think?"

Genma's eyebrow rose.

"Hoe... the man's become a philosopher..."
"Hmmm... it's all that time spent with Shikamaru... I swear..."
"I don't know... it sounds like Sakura to me," Kakashi chuckled.
"Really?" Tenzou scratched his head. "Yeah. She's one smart girl. You should be proud of her, Kakashi. She is, after all, your student."
"Eh..." Kakashi sighed. "Don't make me feel old. I'm only... thirty-four..."
"Age is counted by the heart - not the body."
"Tenzou... that's it," Genma laughed. "Admit it - you've been hanging with Shino too much, right?"
"Are you being sarcastic, Gen-kun?" Tenzou glared at the senbon-chewing Jounin with his 'scary eyes'.
"Uh... no, not at all," whimpered 'Gen-kun'.

Watching 'Gen-kun' disappear in search of comfort from the long-suffering Raido, Tenzou couldn't help but laugh.

"He's an idiot," Kakashi said apathetically, turning another page of (yet another) Icha Icha.
"Hmmm..." Tenzou laid back beside his superior. "I don't know... I think he understands... that... love is a fire that nobody can go without."
"A fire, huh?"
"Yeah... there was this person who once wrote... 'It's so cold here - I guess, it's cold wherever you are not...' It's a sad fact, that without the presence of one's love, life becomes very hard..."

Tenzou watched out of the corner of his eye as Kakashi's hand tightened over his book.

"That's an interesting idea," the Copy Nin said casually, as he rose cat-like to his feet. "Quite the philosopher... that person... who was it again, did you say?"
"I don't know... and I don't think Sakura knows either..."
"Ah..."

Kakashi strolled off.

"Bastard..."

Tenzou smiled to himself at Kakashi's soft word. Kakashi... I hope you learn from the past - I hope you turn back your book of memories and change something...

---

Izumo returned with letters for several people - but nothing important came for Sakura. Whilst everybody huddled in their tents to read and reply to their mail, Sakura had to content herself with a long involved letter on Iruka's daily life as the Administrator for the Academy. It was hard for him to graduate people so young into the Genin ranks. But nins were needed. Badly.

People traveled back and forth, back and forth but no answer came from Scarecrow. Sakura began to worry. She sent various letters, pleading for a response. And then, the small short notes started to come. Once every month. Things like:

Can't say much, but I had to kill a family. It's hard to kill something you always wanted.

I miss you. I wish we could have met. Oh well. Life is harsh and you have to get over it...

I've been having bad nightmares - where I meet you and then - I kill you. We should stop writing.

In the fall of that year, Sakura was sitting back under a tree, tired after yet another skirmish - trying to relax in the early morning sunlight, which filtered gloomily through the damp leaves.

Rain. It might work for us - but it's such a pain in the ass to fight in. What I want is a nice, hot, long shower... what I'm going to get is a tepid tub bath - that or a super cold river soak... where's a hot spring when you want one...

The pink-haired medic shifted again restlessly, trying to find a soft spot in the tree roots - unsuccessfully. Then, with a sigh, she pulled off her hip med pack and pulled out the newest missive from her penpal.

I guess... this time is as good as any...

Sakura cast her eye around the clearing - Kotetsu and Izumo quarreling over some food. Naruto still sleeping. Kakashi had gone to do a perimeter check...

Dear Sakura,

Days like yesterday seem insane. I can't go into details - but it was rather hard... What makes it worse, is that I hear tell the Academy is going to be cutting back. The postbox will be set aside for a while... A teacher told me they are stopping in a month or so. I guess it's new management at the Academy. I don't know what to say - except that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to go where you wanted me to go. Or to be there all the time for you. You've done so much for me - I feel like - I dunno... a sponger? Listening to your funny letters, I find sometimes that I can laugh again. I guess... I'm getting rusty... I'm sorry.

It's you that I'll miss the most... what do you call that?

What is love? Do you know? I think I've forgotten.

Yours,

Even in seperation,

Scarecrow

The letter broke Sakura's heart, and with tears in her eyes, she wrote back her last letter as soon as she reached her tent:

Dearest Scarecrow,

Love. That's so hard - to say what it is and isn't.

But, you know. I think now, I know what love is. Love is worry. It's worrying about that person. Worrying about whether he's going to live the next day or not. Love is waiting. Waiting for him to come back from a foray and wondering if this is the last time you'll link arms with him - if this is the last time you'll lay your healing hands on him and close his wounds... Love is steadfast - and enduring - kind of like how the sea is always there, washing up against the shore. And that's why memories are important - because in those dark days - when everything seems like you've lost - those warm memories are there as a light to guide you -

To give you hope. Because you know, love can't die. And love is speaking out - that's what it is, really. It's action personifying feelings. When you tell them - what you really feel.

I want to tell him, that, you know. I've been feeling these things for my sensei... well... he's my ex-sensei, now, you've probably heard of him - he's famous in many countries – so – will he like a girl like me? I don't know if I should say anything... see...

Love is hard - because it has a mind of its own. I love my sensei. But I also love you. I wish I could meet you. Sasuke doesn't mean anything to me anymore... but you...

I'm worried - that one day you're heart will be so dark, it will forget me - that one day, you'll throw your life away on an un-ranked mission. I'm waiting - I'll just out and out admit that I've been looking for you - I'm waiting for you to come to me. Seriously. And this kind of love is steadfast... and I want to be that warm memory for you - so that you can always hope for something. So that you can fight for something.

I don't know how my sensei fits into this but... I have been wanting to say to you - "I love you. Forever. I don't want you to die - because I'm waiting here. I've always been waiting here - and I just didn't know it..." Please come back, leave ANBU! I mean it! As for the post box - I'll find a way for us to meet - someday, somewhere - and remember - I'm waiting for you!

I love you forever, no matter what -

Sakura

p.s. If you don't follow through, I won't get mad at you - I won't abandon you - no. I will HUNT you down and beat you senseless and then drag you home... because - together, we'll make that cold place something warm.