Summary: 10th Anniversary Edition! Now with 13% more typos! Bored in study hall, they started their own religion, and this one was commissioned to write its sacred text, in exchange for becoming their First Apostle. And so it came to pass, the most demented religious book ever written, an epic tale about nothing. (This book containeth more than thy USDA Recommended Daily Allowance of Irony, Unrefined Satire, and Vitamin X, and may cause random side-effects for those who take themselves, or their religion, too seriously.)
Categories: Non-Naruto Fiction, Non-Naruto Fiction > Original stories, Non-Naruto Fiction > Poems Characters: OC
Genres: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Humor, Parody, Poetry, Sci-Fi, Supernatural
Warnings: Death, Sexual Themes
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 129 Completed: Yes
Word count: 101461 Read: 62022
Published: 07/08/13 Updated: 16/04/14
Spooky Doors 13 by shadesmaclean
Author's Notes:
Pay The Man
And it came to pass that the most darkestest hour had arrived, and the Dudes and The Man stood face to face. And if ever evil had a face, ’twould be his. For The Man was a being of shadow and light, whose form didst shift and shimmer, and didst strike fear into the hearts of mere mortals, for not only had no one ever beaten him, no one had ever even come close.
And with a fire inside burning as it never had before, Scoot didst draw the HellRazor and face this terrible foe.
And the Dudes didst cry in unison: ‘Duhn… duhn… duhnn!…’
‘At last we meet…’ spake The Man. ‘Thou hast caused a good deal of trouble for me, but not for much longer. I hope thou enjoyed thy little rebellion, because now it’s at an end. Pay The Man!’
‘No…’ quoth Scoot as he didst power up more than ever. ‘Thou wilt pay. For thou hast much to answer for…’
And it came to pass that Scoot the Ko’An didst do battle with The Man, and yet, though he fought with all his might, even the power of the New & Improved HellRazor seemed to have no effect on him.
‘Der, Luigi wilt helpeth Scoot!’ cried Luigi as he didst attack The Man. ‘Der, thou’rt it—’
And The Man didst kick Luigi, punting him unto the next Time Zone.
‘No way!’ cried Nori. ‘This doth blow the rusty sax of Kenny G!’
‘I see thy pathetic struggle for freedom…’ spake The Man. ‘Thou art nothing!’
‘Yea, tho I have no chance in hell against thee, and the Gods of Hondo art nowhere to be found,’ quoth Scoot, ‘I shall fight till I die!’
And so Scoot stood before The Man, having exhausted all of his power, and it looked as if the Ass-Kickin’ Apostle’s days of battling the Power were over.
Is Scoot the Ko’An finished? Wilt he pay The Man? Find thee out next time— same Hondo time, same Hondo channel!
End Notes:
The Book of Spooky Doors is dedicated to the memory of the terror that was Lydia (a k a Liddy Kitty), gone but not forgotten.
1980 – 2001
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.