TONFA
The Original Naruto Fanfic Archive

Main Categories

Het Romance [1095]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around different sex couples.
Alternate Universe & Crossovers [655]
Where cast of the Naruto Universe are inserted into an alternate universe.
Essays & Tutorials [18]
An area to submit intelligent essays debating topics about the Naruto Universe and writing tutorial submissions.
 
General Fiction [1741]
Any Naruto fanfiction focused without romantic orientation, on a canon character in the current Naruto Universe.
OC-centric [870]
Any Naruto fanfic that has the major inclusion of a fan-made character.
Non-Naruto Fiction [291]
Self-evident
 
Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance [1579]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around male same sex couples.
MadFic [203]
Any fic with no real plot and humor based. Doesn't require correct spelling, paragraphing or punctuation but it's a very good idea.
 
Shojo-ai/Yuri Romance [107]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around female same sex couples.
Fan Ninja Bingo Book [128]
An area to store fanfic information, such as bios, maps, political histories. No stories.
Juvi-Fics [2]
Because no fic is deleted, if a fic doesn't abide by the rules of the category or author doesn't respond to mods, it belongs here.
 
 

Site Info

Members: 11307
Series: 262
Stories: 5921
Chapters: 25701
Word count: 48062204
Authors: 2180
Reviews: 41231
Reviewers: 1763
Newest Member: xxxxxxxxxxx
Challenges: 255
Challengers: 193
 


The Book of Hondo by shadesmaclean

[Reviews - 2]   Printer Chapter or Story
Table of Contents

- Text Size +
Story notes: It all started over ten years ago. I was totally frustrated with the series I was trying to write at the time, what would later become Tradewinds, and a friend of mine recommended I try writing "something different" for a while. It turned out to be one of the best ideas anyone ever gave me. Back then, Matt-sama, and his friend Derrick-sama, had gotten bored in study hall and decided to start their own religion, with themselves as its chief deities. Of course; in exchange for becoming their First Apostle, I wrote their sacred text, The Book of Hondo. The Book is basically a spoof of ancient myth and an epic adventure about nothing, with lots of social, political and religious commentary, and liberal doses of parody and warped humor for good measure. Contains passages guaranteed to offend anyone who take themselves too seriously. It is written in an archaic form of English grammar, but also very accessible, with abundant use of modern slang and terminology. Many who read the Book lost their intimidation of Elizabethan English and went on to read Shakespeare. (Seriously!) It'll warp your mind that much.
THIS TEXT HATH BEEN ALTERED FROM ITS ORIGINAL VERSION: IT HATH BEEN FORMATTED TO FIT THY MIND.

FBI WARNING : )

DISCLAIMER: THIS BOOK IS A PUBLIC DOMAIN DOCUMENT. IT IS NOT TO BE BOUGHT OR SOLD, BUT TO BE SHARED WITH ALL. IF THOU VIOLATETH THESE TERMS, THE GODS OF HONDO SHALL PUNISH THEE WITH UNSPEAKABLE PLAGUES. HAVE THEE A NICE DAY.

THE GODS OF HONDO
(BUMBERSHOOT PRODUCTIONS)
PRESENTETH

IN ASSOCIATION WITH FILL-IN-THE-BLANK PRODUCTIONS

SPOOKY DOOR PRODUCTIONS

AND WORLDWIDE TRUNKS

IN CONJUNCTION WITH DICKWEED FILMS

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS

A FISHHEAD PRODUCTION

A WAFFLE BAR STUDIOS PRESENTATION

THE BOOK OF HONDO

The Gospel According to Scoot

KING JAMES PERVERSION 2.0




Chapter Bonus! A Few Words (200, To Be Exact) On Why Arbitrary Word Limits Fail
Please pardon the editorial intrusion, as I kinda ran out of chapter, but I didst feel compelled to point out that the single greatest weakness of imposing arbitrary word limits is that they doeth nothing to address the inherent quality or substance of what is being written. After all, typing the word “Naruto” 200 times would certainly fulfill the word limit, but wouldst it constitute quality writing? I think everyone here can agree that it would not. Much like how most of us wouldst agree that over 80 episodes of filler wert a massive waste of viewers' time, simply functioning as a placeholder for a series that was on hold for over a year. By the same token, it seemeth pointless to require people to write-- and thus, others to read-- potentially dozens of sentences' worth of pointless filler text that doth exist solely for the purpose of adding up to a certain number, and ultimately contribute nothing of worth the final piece. This is art, not homework, and any chapter wilt be as long or as short as it needs to be in order to
Chapter end notes: I've brought back the Book of Hondo. Feel free to enjoy between chapters of Tradewinds. :P
You must login (register) to review.