Name: i_heart_notebooks123 (Signed) · Date: 16/06/09 - 01:01 pm · For: Naruto and Sasuke

Well, I have a lot of catching up to do...

So let's see... Temari is a really prominent character. You could probably do this whole story from her POV, she's always everywhere. ^^ But it's kinda cute, because Shika is always by her side.
That scene when he ate the bread just so she wouldn't get her feeling hurt... aw! I'm more of a ShikaNaru girl, but any Shika pairing is sweet. (So is any Naruto pairing. Well, not any, Naruto and Shino... ugh..)

But that's not the focus! Oops, I'm getting off track. ^^'
Kenshin is so nice. It just shows in the way you make him think and talk; there hasn't been much development in his and Sakura's relationship (yet), but there's been a pretty big leap with Sasuke and Naruto. ^^

The latest chapter was so cute and I couldn't stop giggling when Sasuke said he thinks Naruto's a dobe when they were trying to start fresh. ^^ Cute!

I'll admit, the way you brought up Sakura's scar in the middle of class felt a bit awkward, only because it was a bit dramatic to have during a class. I would have suggested in the halls between classes, or during classes when it's just the three of them. It's not too big of a deal, though.

But anyway, I'm happy there was such a nice SasuNaru chapter and I'm guessing the beach trip is going to be interesting. Or at least, I'm hoping. ^^

Anyway, keep up the great work as usual!

Author's Response: Temari is probably my favorite "Naruto" character. I love everything about her!!! She's so prominent because I like her a lot. I also like the way her personality is developing. I think she's a character you want to keep an eye on.rnI'm trying to make Kenshin as sweet as possible. He has to be that kind of guy. I don't know why-- he just has to have that whole gentility encircling him and his loved ones. I like him a lot, too. He's a lot of fun to tease. (What is that supposed to mean, Sarah?)rnYeah, I thought that Sasuke would be the kind of guy to pull that kind of stunt-- to "start fresh", then to intentionally ruin it, even though it wasn't really ruined at all. rnLet's see...I think I'm changing the scar chapter. You'll see it-- I'm going to fix it by having the rest of the class in the classroom, and then Ino (who witnessed it), Naruto, and Sasuke finishing up their dissection. So it's only them. And you can just forget about Orochimaru-sensei. rnOn that note, isn't it awesome that he's the biology teacher?! So cool! Orochimaru, I thought, was a great villain. I was kinda of sad to see him go. But I really bawled when Sasuke killed Itachi. I knew all along that Itachi wasn't bad! I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! DAMMIT, SASUKE! That was probably the only time I really disliked Sasuke, but then, if he hadn't killed Itachi and then found out that he had murdered the older brother that was so desperately trying to protect him...we'd have never have gotten to see Sasuke's tears (nook 42 or 43).rn

Name: ChicagoIsCalling7 (Signed) · Date: 11/06/09 - 09:14 am · For: Tripping, Breaking Your Nose, and Wondering What Happened

Ha. Kenshin is such a teacher; that last line he says really shows it, in my opinion. ^-^

You know what I love about your chapters having different POVs, Sarah? That you're able to make each character have their own voice really shine through. When it's Naruto's POV, you can tell, and not just because you label the chapters. I mean, the personality you created for Naruto shows in the way you write his thoughts and speech and action.

The same stays true for Sakura but especially Kenshin. His quiet personality and his confusion over his feelings for Sakura are obvious with the style you used to write this chapter.

Great job!!!! You're hard work payed off, as it usually does. ^-^

Oh! BTW, there was one itty bitty mistake.
"-- confessing all this to s student..." I think you meant for that "s" to be an "a", right? That's all.

Again, amazing job, you should be really proud!

Author's Response: Thanks. <3 So far, Kenshin and Temari are, in my opinion, the best characters in this story. And that's all wrong, right, because it should be Sasuke and Naruto? Those two are awesome characters, but Temari is so dynamic and cool and Kenshin is, well, just awesome.rnI worked really hard to have his personality shine through, but it's hard because I'm not a twenty-two year old school teacher who has feelings for his student. I had no idea what that would be like-- I mean, I've fallen for a teacher before...well, that's a lie, I've fallen for a coach, actually, but never once have I fallen for someone younger than me. Okay, that's a lie too, he was half a year younger than me, but whatever! You know what I mean. rnSo I was hoping and praying that this chapter would turn out convincing. rnAnd I guess it did. :)

Name: ChicagoIsCalling7 (Signed) · Date: 08/06/09 - 08:04 am · For: One Glass of Wine

Haha. I like Temari's perosnality in your story. She's like the older sister who's guiding the new kids and helping move the story along. Plus she's funny. ^-^

Anyway, this seemed like a filler chapter, and by that I mean it didn't move the story along too much. But is was cute and fun to read.

Plus that info about wine is good to know. ^-^

Author's Response: Yeah, I love fillers. Sometime sthe fillers are better than the actual story.

Name: ChicagoIsCalling7 (Signed) · Date: 30/05/09 - 01:18 pm · For: What I've Done

Mmm, this het relationship is moving along nicely.
Honeslty, I'm sitting on the edge of my seat. Not 'cause this is a life or death cliff hanger, but cause I know the pairings that are going to happen in the end, I have just have no idea how you're going to make them happen. And that is where the excitement/suspense is coming from.

....AHH!!!! The next chapter is Naruto and Sasuke! Post it soon!

Author's Response:

To be honest, I'm enjoying KenSaku (that has a nice ring to it!) more than the SasuNaru, only because I don't get real into yaoi like some people. I mean, the only yoi pair that I'm super enthusiastic about is KuroFai from Tsubasa Chronicle. Oh, and Toya and Yuki from Cardcaptor Sakura. And King Ashura and King Yasha from RG Veda...but actually, I think Ashura is a girl, because he/she is cursed to be genderless, so I say King Ashura is really Queen Ashura. And I also like Watanuki and Domeki from xxxHOLiC-- but I also like Watanuki and Himawari-chan...

Erm...it's obvious that I sorta like yaoi pairings. But still, I have more fun with het relationships because I can relate to them better and I know how to work through situations better.

Name: i_heart_notebooks123 (Signed) · Date: 27/05/09 - 01:31 pm · For: What I've Done

Hmm. The "I hope we can be friends" line. I looking forward to seeing how you take on this relationship; this'll definitely be interesting. Plus, the second Kenshin picture was cute. ^^ Lucky Sakura.

But I'm even more interested to see how Sasuke and Naruto are doing. Now there's a dynamic couple. ^^ Can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: I've posted some new chapters-- I don't know if you've seen them yet, but I've developed both of the relationships a little bit.rnOriginally, the shaking hands after the "I hope we can be friends" line was going to continue on with Kenshin continuing to hold on to her hand, then saying, "Hi, I'm Kenshin Arisaka, and I'm going to be teaching you literature." Sakura would be a little surprised, then she would laugh as she realized that he was starting fresh with her.

Name: i_heart_notebooks123 (Signed) · Date: 13/05/09 - 01:03 pm · For: The Arisaka Fan Club

Sakura with an older man. I like it.
^^' That may have sounded a bit odd, but moving on.
This was another good chapter. Naruto's and Sakura's characters are developing nicely, great job there.

As are there relationships. ^^ I'm assuming you're going to alternated point of views, meaning Naruto is next? If that's how you're doing this then I'm even more anxious to read the next chapter. I'm sorta excited to see how Naruto and Sasuke are doing. ^^'

Anyway, again, a great job as usual, and I can't wait for more. As usual.

Author's Response: Thanks. <3 As you may know, the next Naruto-Sasuke chap. is up, and soon is the Sakura-Kenshin. Here we go!!!!

Name: i_heart_notebooks123 (Signed) · Date: 07/05/09 - 01:07 pm · For: New Students (Wow, what a boring title...)

I'm excited. I have to say, I've really been looking forward to this, the time where you write a yaoi story.
And you know what? This was a great first chapter. It wasn't boring and it didn't put me to sleep. The characters were introduced nicely ( I like the description of their clothing, it just helps, I dunno, picture them a bit better. Also the fact that you even described the characters was great, because some authors don't because, since it's a fanfic, it's kinda assumed that people know what the characters look like from the shows or mangas. Never assume that. I should take my own advice sometimes... ^^'). I like that Sakura and Naruto are twins. I've read stories where they're siblings, but I don't think I've seen twins yet, so very original.
Hmm... oh, I love Sasuke's entrance and everything he says. It's just so... Sasuke!
Ah, I can't wait for the next chapters! As usual, keep up the good work. ^^

Author's Response:

See, I was real worried about the clothes thing. Would it bore people? Was it really necessary? That sort of thing. With all writing, that's the sort of thing that gets me.

Keep reading! Next chapter's up soon!

Name: ChicagoIsCalling7 (Signed) · Date: 06/05/09 - 08:17 am · For: New Students (Wow, what a boring title...)

Okay, this is a total "kya" moment for me.
....
KYAAAA!!!!!!!

AH!!!! This is so exciting!!!! Your first yaoi story, yay!!!

Okay, now, on to the review portion.

I liked it. No surprise there, but it was good and cute. Kinda funny.
I love when Sasuke is being so blunt- and I mean, REALLY blunt. I think you've given him a very nice-jerk personality and I can't wait to see that develop, especially with Naruto ^-^.

I really have no suggestions or criticism for this chapter. But there is one little type- when Shikamaru is complaining about Sasuke blowing the surprise (Oh! By the way, I love how you tell everyone's outfits, that really helps the imagery. And I love that gum line! "Girls go through guys like gum-too fast" or something like that. I can totally relate! I go through gum in like, a week, and I'm like, hey, where'd it all go? Okay, sorry, soo off topic..) Where was I? Blowing the surprise! Yes, the mistake is when Shikamaru is talking about that. He says "We were going to surprise you or your first day..." but it should be "you on your first day.."

Yup.

That's all.

I can't wait for the next chapter! Great job!

Author's Response: As you can see, I'm totally going through all the reviews I missed and replying. Thanks for your review!