I've been meaning to get around to these stories for a while now. And I finally have! I really like the prologue. It's full of suspense and mystery. I'm going to try to read this and Broken Wings at the same time.
Oh! Yami's so cute! I love stories that give Gaara a companion even though they change what he will become so much. They're just too cute. ^_^ But seriousness from children! It's a sad life a child must have to be that way.
And that last paragraph! Ah! I must know more! XP
Oh, wow, thanks so much!:D It totally surprises me when I get a new reader, I love it! ^_^ Thanks so much for your kind words. In BtD, it'll actually look more into the prologue in either the next new chapter or the one after that.
Thanks, I rarely ever find stories like that, and when I do, they're all unfinished:( Yes, yes it is.
Haha, thanks so much!:D
New chapter! At long last! At last…*thump*
Kiyori: Please excuse my creator. His work load has gotten the best of him. We'll be reviewing instead!
Kimiko: I must say girl this is a nice chapter. Once again you took a canon event and made it your own. I am impressed.
Kiyori: I find it so romantic that they are able to keep each other in check like that! *sighs* That's a mark of true love.
Kimiko: All in all, good job. Hope Gabriel and us can read more of your great work.
Ha, hopefully I'll have it read by today. I have a lot of places I have to go - and it's my day off! >.<
Kiyo and Kimi-chan!:D I'm so glad to hear from you guys! Tell Gabe he needs to do some relaxing and quit over-working himself!!!
Oh, wow, thanks so much Kimi-chan!!! I really value your opinion, and if you like this, then just wait till the next chappie!XD
Kiyo-(I forgot, didn't I always call you Kiyo-chan or was it san? Ahh!!! I forgot! >.<) Yes, and love is awesome!!!
Yes, I hope so too. Love you guys! And thx so much for reviewing!!!:D
Ahhhhh!! That was so cute. Well, the part about love was at least. Especially when Yashamaru said they love each other. I know what he meant, but it was still so cute!
I'd say I want to go into your story and teach those kids why not to mess with Yami, but I think Gaara has already done that for him and then some. I was a little worried when the darkness surfaced in Gaara. But then Yami tried to stop them. I wanted to cry it was so.... Well, it was between heartfelt and sad. Whichever you think fits more.
And I also really enjoyed the very end. I thought it was sweet how Yami wanted to know what was going on with Gaara so that she could prevent it later. I absolutely loved that part. I don't get how she can hold such great darkness yet be so pure either.
Overall I give it a 100/10. Yeah, it was just that amazing. This entire story is amazing. After all, it is a YOUR STORY story. I can't wait for part two, DestinyGirl!
Haha, cute is killer!:P
Yes, yes he has. I'll go with both heartfelt and sad, because that's what it was like for me when I was writing it.
Honestly, me and Hikari can't either... What? Stop staring at me like that, Yami! It's mostly because of what she is. I figured if she was human, then she would give into the darkness (since humans tend to lean toward darkness anyway). But since she was born of a light-filled race, and born with the purest heart (besides Hikari), she's able to withstand the darkness.
Haha, you're too much:P Thx so much, Sasaui!:D
Aww, that's so cute! They love each other!... you know, the way all little kids love their friends...
I love the way you were able to place Yami in this. It was already a very touching scene between Gaara and Yashamaru. But just the way you described Gaara and Yami's friendship really meshed well with the actual plotline. It really flowed very well. Nice work with that.
I really wanted to scold those kids for throwing rocks at Yami though. Seriously, don't parents teach their kids respect anymore? Yeesh...
Anyway, nice job on this chapter, DestinyGirl! I can't wait to see Part 2! Keep up the awesome work with your writing!
Haha, yep. Love is love!:P
Yeah, I was worried in the beginning about doing this but then it all just hit me and started coming together. Thx so much!
Yes, have you noticed that kids in general are very mean in the Narutouniverse? These kids' parents probably told them to do something like that though....
Thx so very much, Wolf-chan!:D
Might as well get this over with: New Chapter!
Anyway, to the story: I like Rei, he reminds me of my blonde lezzie Kimiko Rei. I think these two would get along.
Garra/Yami fluff! But what I could never understand was why he was treated so bad. I mean, is it not there fault that he has Shukaku in the first place?
I winced when Kankuro got slapped. But I loved everything else! Keep up the good work.
Haha, great! I'll read it real soon! ^_^
Yep, I think they would:) Thanks!
I think it's just because they're different, and if you're different (like having a dark power inside you) than people grow afraid. And then fear turns into anger, anger turns into hate.
Thx so much, Gabe!:D
Huh. So that's where Yami's been. I liked this, but I must admit, this sounds like it will end in the apocalypse.
So, Serenna(or Kayla? Which is it?) The good news is, I created an account here, Hinata-Moon. The bad news is, I can't access it. Anyways, I'm still working on a new chapter for Chain, I'll tell you when it's done. One question though: What's the name of your novel and where is it going to be published? So I can read it.
Hey, Gabe!!!! So glad you could join! ^_^ You can still call me Serenna, if you want. Um... Well the series is called The Girl of Destiny, and the first book is called Fate Arises. It's not published yet, I've been talking to Tate Publishing, and if that doesn't work then I'm going to publish it myself:D That would be awesome if you could read it!!!
Can't wait till you can access your account, then you can add some of your stories on here:)
The first thing I want to say is that I find it funny that you named the boy Rei because that's the name of one of my main ocs in the new story I'm going to write, Tori Kago. It's a GaaOc story as well. You can see the old first chapter at Fanfictionwriters.webs.com. It's one of the blog thingies.
Now to your YOUR STORY story. It was amazing. I absolutely loved it, DestinyGirl. I love that bond between Yami and Gaara. And I really like Rei. I love the way he saw things. At first I thought he was going to be a bad influence, but as he explained more what he meant, then I saw him as a pretty good character. After him explaining why he didn't fear Gaara and Yami, though, I just completely and totally fell in love with him. I hope that he stays there friend even after whatever happens happens (if you do indeed make something terribly bad happen). Then the whole Kankaro thing. Hehehe. He got slapped =P. He needed it. Nice way to wake someone up. He should be grateful she didn't punch him in the nose instead of slapping him. Either way it would have knocked some sense into the puppet master. I like the moments you chose to bring out the anger (both in Gaara and Yami). They seemed perfectly timed to me. And I loved the part where Gaara helped Yami out when she got mad. I think they really need each other to tame their inner darkness. I just hope it stays that way and nothing bad happens.
Lol, well, Rei IS a very popular name in Japan, and I've always been fond of it. Did you know it's both a girl and a boy name? One girl off of Sailor Moon has the name, though she spells hers like this: Raye. So yeah, when designing the character the name just came to me ^_^ Yeah, I read it a while ago, it was great Sasaui!:D
Thx so much! Your reviews always put me in a good mood!:) Yeah, Rei's pretty awesome! Or at least I think so. :P Ha, Rei I think you have someone crushing on you!
Rei: What? Who?
Author: ....I'm not telling you until you're older!:P
Rei: You're so mean.
Sorry, had to do that!:P Yeah, since it was Yami's first time unleashing the darkness it was just minor, though I can't say that for next time.... Thx so much! Your really not wanting anything bad to happen are you? I wish I could do that but let's just say some things HAVE to happen in order for this story to keep going like I want it. But there will be good times after the bad I promise! And yes, about the inner darkness within them both, you're definitely right about that.
Thx so much for reviewing, Sasaui!
What a great chapter. I like Rei, he's pretty cool for what he did. Good job again! :)
Author's Response: Thx so much for reviewing! I really appreciate it, and thanks for liking Rei!:)
Kankurou is two years older than Gaara, I believe. But that's just a minor fix :P
Anyway... WOW! I cannot believe how amazing this chapter was! Wait, what am I saying? Of course I should believe it, you're an awesome writer.
This chapter was definitely my favorite so far. I absolutely loved how Rei and Kankurou accepted Gaara and Yami. Rei is just an incredible guy, I already admire him as a person. And when Yami slapped Kankurou, I nearly had a heart attack. She's never that mean, but this chapter brilliantly illustrated the darkness in her. I really liked that. Actually, I like how you describe the darknesses in both Gaara and Yami. It's just fantastic. It makes me happy to know that Kankurou seems to accept his little brother now; I guess all he needed was a good slap in the face to make him understand ;)
Great chapter, DestinyGirl! This is now a personal favorite chapter of mine. Keep up the awesome work!
Yeah, I just looked that up online and changed it. Thx for letting me know!:)
Oh, wow, thanks so much! I'm so glad you loved it! ^_^ Rei is a very special character to me, he's going to have some major roles in future parts of BtD. So look forward to that! Yeah, the darkness in Yami is very strong and feeds off of everything - she's going to have a hard time controlling it just like Gaara is going to have a hard time controlling the Shukakau. Haha, yep:P Sometimes that's all anyone needs!
Thx so much for reviewing, Wolf-chan! I'm so glad this chappie made it to your favorite's, stay tuned for more!:D
Yayz! Totally epic chapter! I look forward to seeing updates in the future! Oh, and happy thanksgiving to you to! ^.^/
Author's Response: Thx so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it:)
This fanfic is one of the best ones ive read on this site!!! Really awesome so far!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much!!! I hope I don't disappoint you in the future!
This fanfic is one of the best ones ive read on this site!!! Really awesome so far!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much!!! I hope I don't disappoint you in the future!
Aww wow, this story is so cute! I'm really liking it. Good job!
Author's Response: Thx so much for reading and reviewing!:D
oh n the ice-cream is
minty chocolate chip ice-cream...? :P
Author's Response: Yep! You got it right! ^_^ It's one of my fav's!
the ending ws super cute... :D
as ws the whole chapter... =)
i totally like Yami ^_^
such cute innocence x]
nw Yami gt 2 friends :D gaara n yashimaru...!! :D
sorry i reviewed l8 didn't gt the Tim to read :/
Awesome chappie... update soon :D
Author's Response: Thx for reading as always, and taking the time to review - you're AWESOME!!! No prob, there's no rush in reading, I'll update soon I promise!
The first thing I just have to say - You did a perfect job of choosing who went where. By that I mean how Hikari met Naruto and Yami met Gaara. Both of them compliment whichever jinchuuriki they're with very well. They are also the same in their..... heart maybe? How Gaara is so good (to begin with) but has that darkness within him (like Yami), and how Naruto (like Hikari) has such a bright and strong light that fights back the darkness that overtook Gaara after Yashamaru tried to kill him. Speaking of that certain event, now I'm seriously dreading it. I love seeing those two together. I love their bond and how caring Yami is toward Gaara. I'm terrified about when that darkness starts to take over. I want to think that having Yami around will help, but knowing how strong Gaara's darkness gets..... And the end.... Well, that was just pure beauty. I loved it. You did great at describing an amazingly beautiful place. Their place. =D Man, that sweet ending has me smiling like crazy! This was an overall mind-blowing chapter. So worthy of being a YOUR STORY story.
Thx so much! I had originally made up the characters Hikari and Yami, for my own manga purposes later in life and then I got to thinking about how alone Naruto and Gaara was and how - out of all of the Naruto characters - they're very similar. And how different would their lives have been if they had someone in their childhood... thus Hikari and Yami were born! Firstly, I had focused on Hikari, and since she is light, she would go to Naruto. I hadn't even thought of Yami and Gaara until waaaay later on, but I'm so glad I decided to do a story for them! Thx for seeing that btw, I didn't know if any one else would catch their similarities.:)
Yeah, I always dreaded that part of Gaara's life, because that was the turning point for him, what eventually MADE him. But, let's just say, since I AM a writer and all, I have a few ideas up my sleeve of how everything will turn out... let's just say that most of you will be shocked!:D Oh, and maybe it's just not Gaara's darkness you have to look out for but Yami's.... Thx so much! I love their secret place as well, and it's going to take a major place in the story. I'm glad I got you smiling! And thx again for the award, and super thanks for reviewing!
Aww, this was very cute. Those two are learning so much about one another. And they're a perfect match for each other because while they're both very sweet, they each have a dark aura around them. It really makes me wonder how they both will be when Gaara goes berserk from losing Yashamaru... I really hope he doesn't become his expected murderous self, though I think it might be inevitable...
:D Mint chocolate chip ice cream! One of my deepest favorites!
Anyway, I really liked the last scene, with the beautiful scenery and all. You described it really well, and I could imagine its beauty so well.
Excellent job with this chapter. I really liked the light-hearted and sweet attitude of this entire chapter. Keep up the awesome work, DestinyGirl!
I know, right? The more I write about them the more I'm like... these two seem perfect for each other!:P Ah, too bad Gaara doesn't REALLY have somebody in Naruto, that would be awesome!:D Hmm... as for the whole Yashamaru stuff, let's just say I'm going to put my own twist to things and see how it all plays out.
Ding! Ding! Ding! And our lucky winner is... Wolf-chan! (Sorry, couldn't help it when I read your bio) I know, mint chocolate chip is one of my fav's. Yuuuuum!
Thx so much, I saw it in my head and tried to put it in words to the best of my ability, so glad it came out right!:) Thx so much, you rock!!!;)
the prologue was intriguing...
i couldn't take my eyes off it O_O...
it felt so real...as if watching a trailer...
hi... long time no see... :)
oh n i loved this story...u write it so well... :D
woah... nw that'll b like a major change in gara's nature right?
cnt wait to read the next chapter... >_
Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing!:D I try my best, glad you enjoyed it:) Hi!:D Glad to hear from you again, sorry I've been away, I'll try not to let that happen again!X( Thx! And yep, this will change Gaara, maybe for the better, maybe for the worst... There's no telling what could happen!! *evil laugh* Thx again, glad you read and reviewed!!!:D
Darn it! I missed when it first came up because I was off reading something else =(. Oh well, then I'll just review now! And trust me, I'll make sure it makes up for not reviewing the very second it was out like I should. It's so awesome you should have heard about its awesomeness, what, 60 minutes ago (I think that's how long my gmail says it was.....)
Anyway, here's the review part:
HOLY CHRISTMAS TREE (please just don't ask)!!!!! That was amazing. I mean, seriously, I can't believe this. It was just mind blowing. And just like before, I so say that prophecy would make an excellent book of it's own! I mean, seriously, everything about this chapter was phenomenal. No, not even that. You've done it, DestinyGirl. You. Have. Done. It. You've achieved YOUR STORY status (for explanation, go to my account thing)
This is the YOUR STORY reward. I don't see it as much of an honor since it's being given by me, but I still feel the need to do this. I think it's something new and fun =D. And also, I loved the ending. The whole Messenger of Death and Demon Shukaku thing was amazing. I kept on looking at that and wondering what was going to happen next. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE Yami. She's one hundred percent awesome, and three hundred.sixteen percent amazingly-out-of-this-world. She has that sweet, caring side like Hikari, but she also has this dark part deep within her born from being an angel of darkness. Her kind nature seems to balance out that dark anger. It's wonderful. And I loved the friend thing, even if it was sad. Darn, why do you have to be so awesome. I keep on wanting to say more and more things about the incredibleness of this story, but my brain is being fried by that very incredibleness. Okay, overall, it was so totally YOUR STORY material and completely blew me about five galaxies over.
Lol, don't worry about the time!:P I'm just happy you reviewed!:D
Haha, I say random things like that all the time!XD Thx so much for the amazing compliments, I feel so special now! Yeah, I decided to add in the prologue since everyone really needs to know what their reading about (if their new)... Aww, thanks for the reward!!!:D YES!!! I have a YOUR STORY award!!!XD
It is to an honor, if it's given by a friend (that's you) then it means a lot, so thank you! Yeah, even though I wrote it, I really liked that part as well.XD I'm so glad you love Yami! We'll warm up to her in the next couple of chapters... so be prepared! Lol, and over-fried brain!XD That happens to me a lot, too. Then I have to take a break from reading so many great fanfics.... Thanks so much, and I'm happy you reviewed!!!:D
Oh... my... gosh...
I really didn't think you'd post this so soon XD I'm happy you did. This is amazing! It's just as good as BW! And yet, it's not exactly the same either, which I'm thankful for. Yami is both similar and different from Hikari. She's still nice, but that darkness about her makes her different. The Messenger of Death... wow... I really want to see Gaara and Yami grow as friends; the two of them together, with such underlying darknesses about them can really mesh, and I'd like to know how that all turns out.
So when you say companion to BW, does that mean Yami and Hikari will meet? I kind of hope they do, that'd be pretty cool ;)
Well anyways, this was amazing. It's so good to see an update from you; your writing is phenomenal. Excellent job, DestinyGirl! Keep up the amazing work!
Ohmygoodness! I'm equally shocked to get a review so fast!:O Thanks!!!
Lol, I was worried since it's been a while... I'm glad to know I haven't lost my touch!XD Yeah, I wanted to make everything as different as I possibly could. Since Yami is an angel, she's also pure, yet she's the element darkness, so she's got a darker personality than her other half, Hikari.:) Your in luck! I'm writing the next chapter as we speak and it's about Gaara and Yami's growing friendship! I'm actually really, REALLY excited about writing this story, I already have Part I of it figured out!:D
Yes, their paths will cross later on... They'll probably get wind of each other before they actually meet:P
Aw, thanks so much!!:D I promise I won't let you down!