You know, reviewing almost two years late doesn't really give me much scope for excuses, but I guess I was facing a bit of an internal struggle with some of the subject matter. It was only about two or three years before that I'd had my last major bout of suicidal depression when I was at my worst physical health-wise and facing potentially becoming homeless (Hah, I've now said that publicly. Yay for me. =0/ But seriously I think you deserved to know that it was nothing with the story itself or whatever), so I think some wounds possibly weren't quite closed enough for me to face the kind of in-depth analysis I needed to do for a review. (I was fine reading this and am fine normally - don't worry. It was just facing the idea of such intense analysis that had me kinda... yeah...) I also appreciate that you probably needed this review more two years ago, especially as - I don't know unfortunately but - I suspect this may have been the story that you and shadow fell out about.
That said, the sheer guilt of not having reviewed kept me thinking about this review for almost two years - and I really felt I had some important points to make that would be important for you to consider in your writing even though you abandoned this particular story itself - so if you don't mind I'm just going to rush through my thoughts without rereading the chapter or anything because if I do that we may be waiting another couple of years until I can face writing this all down again. ///

First of all, I have to say that actually I thought you handled the scene where Kasumi tried to take her life very well. I also thought that you handled Masaru's reaction to what he was witnessing superbly. I could tell that you had thought a lot about this crucial turning point in their relationship and how it would have affected both of them and this really showed. I also really saw for the first time why Masaru was a potential romance option for Kasumi and this may have been the point where I really started to ship that pairing. It was really nicely written pivotal scene.
That said, I also got the feeling that you had also gotten so caught up in the magic of this particular moment between them that you probably forgot to really register how revealing that scene would register with the other characters as opposed to just it's impact on the plot and upon the readers. To be honest I think this happens at least once in the learning curve of every good writer and is really common, especially in the beginning and when they first start to enjoy their own work with other people as opposed to slaving away at it and fretting over every last sentence privately.
We talked repeatedly about how the Blue Pirates are very 'bad-ass' characters with no mushy elements, haven't we? Well, to characters like that Masaru's revelation isn't so much about his ability to be much-needed emotional support for their captain - but about their captain's weakness. To be in charge of people like that she needs to be this untouchable, infallible, ruthless figure of authority and instead Masaru's effectively shown her as this wounded little girl; exactly the opposite of the kind of leader a bunch of brigands would want to follow. The net result would probably not only cost Masaru his authority over the other pirates, but Kasumi too: in that I would almost expect them to just ditch the plan, maroon Masaru on a rock somewhere, abandon Kasumi to Konoha, and sail off.
Now that could be a great story too admittedly, but it wasn't the one you were trying to tell. If I were writing this I would probably have had Masaru relive the whole meeting as some kind of flash-back scene and have him come up with either some other story to tell them or even just have him get really brusque and yell at them about how 'the captain's business is none of theirs and neither are her reasons for choosing a first mate', before having him suggest that authority compromise thing you came up with. So long as her authority is beyond question that could work, because her authority is reinforcing his, but a bunch of badder than bad pirates simply won't follow a weak leader normally - let alone two.
Leaving all that aside, actually having Masaru himself unable to keep control of the other pirates was a truly fantastic piece of character development. Two strong captains would probably have been boring. You were absolutely right; he needed to be very different from Kasumi and maybe not excel at what she excels at. This was also an excellent way to keep scenes back on the ship interesting. Too many poorer authors I know would have just added pointless dialogue or something and most people would have started skipping the lot when they read on through the chapter. You didn't do that at all and that's a great thing.
Overall, as I said, most of this part of the story was great. Yes, you got a little carried away by the Masaru/Kasumi scene - but as I said every writer has done something similar to that at some point in their writing career, including me. It's part of learning to write. I have also said characters such as the Blue Pirates are among the hardest to write well. Keeping people bad (especially without making them cardboard and stale) is far from easy. There is something very human about empathy and it makes it harder to keep identifying with characters who have less of it. Up until this point you did splendidly with the crew and, yes there may have been a little blip here, but this is definitely something you can learn from to keep on improving your writing - and the point has always been that you have enough talent to recognise what has been said and learn from it, which cannot be said about every writer. Good luck with the re-write!

=D WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! an Update!!! =D (just coz i always show some kinda exclamation on ur updates xD)
eh.......
Hadn't naruto visited her once already? O.o
i mean isn't this his second visit? .. hmm... yeah first timewas with sakura and hinata was then in already..
so yeah its his second yup. i think .____.
wow... i forgot already -___-
well anywhoos... this chapter was awesome...!! xDD
You know why... right? yeh? yeh? coz it had Kasumi!! well yeah all chapters had Kasumi.. most..
But.. eh.. anyways...

I totally love the way she talks xDD it leaves me lolin for real :P but she was exceptionally a bit different this time.. aye?
I think thats the first time she ever spoke in a proper tone with Naruto.. :P
And his annoyingly Foxy grin towards her showed it all :P
Well.. her terrible state >_< oh man..! it kinda feels like readin "3 days"... :/ Kinda...
haha xD the scene between kabuto and Sasuke :P very canon-like lol...
But why did the snake's chakra seem foreign to those two? O.o
was it just coz of the distance between them or some specific reason behind it? O_O
and LOOOOL at the blue hair part xDDDDD
I had a hearty laugh at that lol...
but um... eh.. i thought it was for that reason too >_>

:P he forgot the scroll? :P
But now they've really gotten the upper hand that they got the map...
but Konoha is in for a big mess here... blue pirates, orochimaru, Kabuto & Sasuke! its a good thing that kasumi is weak or Konoha was going down for sure...
But this is going to be a fierce battle alrite! reminds me of the war during the chunin exams... :P this is gonna be Big! unless u have different plans...
But kasumi sure has in mind to destroy konoha...(or had idk...) so i dont think she'l just escape from konoha, or there would be no point in undergoin the whole plan in the first place... right?

ahaa!!! Kakashi finally came to visit her ^_^ well.. obv the pairing is masaXKasu. a few shots with kiba too xP
I am too excited to know what the sequel will be bout! =O i mean.. now its suspense already.., wether she might escape.. or remain as prisoner... or be kidnapped by orosnake...

lol now every time i read the word pirate it reminds me of One piece lol...and a naruto/One piece crossover comes in mind.. lol

Your writing has really gotten even better uruphoo... compared to the starting chapters... it is clearly improved a lot...
not a single part made it feel boring... i mean some novels i read i just skim through the descriptions and stuff and only concentrate at the main parts. But this chapter...ididn't get even one spot i wanted to just skim through :P infact due to lack of time i was searchin for spots which i could just skip so i could finish this chapter quickly xD but i didn't get a single one lol...
Awesome!!
As for the guy who is in the jail....
It obv isn't Masaru.. or wait.. it can be him too :/ since Kakashi has seen him already... and since he has the map, he'l know where exactly Kasumi is.. so it is actually a big possibility that its him unlike my firstthought -.-"
then.... hmm... i won't be Kabuto... Sasuke? Kakashi would say much more then just "You" idk... maybe , maybe not...
Maybe Orosnake?
So my guesses are
Masaru 50%
Oronoob 40%
Sasuke 9%
kabuto 1%
:P

And OMG!!!!!! i can't go on FW site.. -pout-
Have you guys decided any big stuff ? :/ i feel left out... wow my stupid, rotten, stinkin network -________- lol
anyways... just say a hi to all the others from me xD
It might take a month or so till my network shizzle is sorted out,or maybe even less then a week...idk..
They might've even forgotten bout me by now :P
Anyways...
I don't like cookies much... and i HATE veggies.. including carrots..!
i want something else! :o!
Incredible chapter Uruphoo chan!!! Keep up the good work.. cuz yer Awesome!

Author's Response: Yes, Naruto visited her already. He's the only one determined enough to see her more than once :P Wow, you like Kasumi that much? Thank you. I made her deliberately different this time around. Naruto just keeps bugging her, and it is now wearing off on her.

I am glad that Kabuto and Sasuke seemed in character to you. And the snake's chakra was just too far away for them to notice at first, and Sasuke isn't really acquainted with the snake anyway, so he just doesn't know much about it. Haha, I figured most people thought that that was what the "Blue" part meant. Nah, it was always for the reasons that Kasumi explained.

Haha, yeah, he forgot to check the scroll. Masaru has just been so wrapped up in drama with the crew that he forgot his orders XP Yes, a big battle is planned. And remember that Kasumi didn't know that Orochimaru/Kabuto/Sasuke were coming for her, so you never know, she might run away ;)

Everyone should go to visit Kasumi because she's not one to be forgotten, I guess, so Kakashi paid her a visit as well. And as for the sequel.... You'll see....

Oh, thank you for the massive compliment. Big thanks to you, Shadow, big thanks. I don't know what else to say. Haha, I enjoy hearing people's thoughts on who is the guy in the prison. I rarely ever leave cliffhangers, but they're so much fun when I do.

Oh... yeah, a lot happened on Sasaui's site.... You'll see should you be able to get on.... I'm sure they haven't forgotten you though, don't worry. Hahaha, I'm only giving out carrots this chapter, so too bad! Thanks for the big review, Shadow! I appreciate the compliments!