I really liked this chapter. Im glad Kasumi helped Hinata boost her self-confidence despite her being a criminal. I think she has a lot of good in her. Great work :D
Author's Response: Yeah, I think this is the chapter that I really started showing just how much good Kasumi has in her. Hinata is one of my favorite characters, and I really enjoyed having her go through a transformation like she did. Kasumi just helped with it :) Thanks a bunch for the positive review, I really love reading your awesome comments!
Gosh, I stayed up all night reading this. I would have reviewed earlier, but then I passed out... :/
But anyway, I really love this story! It's so cool! The entire theme of pirates was so awesome, and I enjoyed every moment of this! I hope you update this story soon, it's so amazing!
Author's Response: Aww, I'm so honored that you stayed up so late to read my story :D Thank you very much for doing so. I'm really glad you enjoyed this. I hope this story continues to please you. Thanks for the wonderful review! I appreciate the support a lot!
Wow! This was so cool! Oh, thanks for giving credit to me, but you did an awesome job of writing it all! Haha, everything was so fun and cool at the same time! I liked this chapter, and it was long too! :D Good work, it was really good!
Author's Response: Well, I'm going to give credit when and where credit is due. I couldn't have done this chapter without your idea, so thanks again! I'm glad you like the way I wrote your idea, I feel so accomplished XD Thank you very much for all the reviews, I appreciate it very much! Thanks for reading this, and thanks even more for bothering to review! You're awesome!
Okay, by now you've got me wanting to go into the story, send a paper bomb at Tsunade for being her annoying self, and forcing Ezra and Kasumi to fight! Oh yeah, I can picture both type of endings, tragic, AND happy! Kiba and Kasumi sound good together, although I am not quite sure how you will get that in there. And a Sequel?! Wow. Great idea! Love this!
Author's Response: Aw, don't hate on Tsunade, she's just being her unusually diabolical self... Hmm, I guess she can be annoying sometimes... Ooh, an Ezra vs. Kasumi, I like that! We may have to end up doing that during an alternate universe type of thing ;) Tragic and happy, huh? Well, I guess you'll just have to wait on what I have decided! Hmm, you think Kiba and Kasumi should be together, eh? Haha, well, you'll just have to wait and see what my brain has cooked up for the romance part of the story. Yes, there will be a sequel! Anyways, I'm so glad you like this so much, I'm really flattered that you decided to read my story. Thank you so much, you're awesome for reading and incredible for reviewing!
A sequel?! Well, I guess you really did find inspiration and motivation to write this story. Congratulations :D
And this chapter did not disappoint. This was the most well done reformation chapter thus far. You touched on each of the characters, which I think you were struggling with earlier. But you completely blew me away with this one, as you described each character perfectly, keeping them wonderfully in character and even delving into each of their thoughts and emotions. It was great, good job.
Kasumi's relationship with Kiba has me curious as to who you have chosen (if you have chosen) who the romance is. Osamu obviously thinks it's Masaru, and I was actually thinking it was true. Then you confused me (in a good way) with the love-hate relationship between Kiba and Kasumi. I don't know who it is now!
I absolutely loved Hinata's breakthrough. She's a personal favorite character, and I love how you described her home life and insecurities to help make her so much stronger against the pirate. The Blue Tiger really is a strange person to depict. And no murderous rampages in this one; so I guess that shows how well-rounded she is :D
Surprisingly, I'm falling in love with the Blue Pirates. I know that they're the bad guys and all, but I really like how you describe the normal everyday life on The Midnight Thief. It adds so much more depth to all of the pirates, I love it! I'm not sure I want anything bad to happen to them now 0_o
Oh, and the original nine, huh? I suppose that's why you're taking the more interesting route by describing a select few of the pirates, rather than all thirty XD It sounds like there's a whole story behind that. I wonder if you will talk more about them?
This was a great chapter. You did an amazing job with this. It's so good to see that you didn't give up on this story because of a few insecurities. Great work :D
Author's Response: Hehe, yup, a sequel when this whole thing is done. Let's just see how many people will stick with me O_O Wow, this chapter was that good? Wow, I'm so happy to hear that, especially if it was an improvement from the earlier chapters. Thank you, I'm glad I was able to do better with this one! Hehe, I guess I'll just have to keep all you readers in the dark about who the romance is until the very end XD I also liked how Hinata's breakthrough came out, personally. I'm glad the readers did too. Yay, Kasumi is showing more depth! I actually like hearing everyone's different reactions to her, as I am now throwing her different qualities out in the open. Haha, I'm actually happy to hear that you like the Blue Pirates. I love confusing the readers XD Wow, you're the only one who commented on the original nine part. I'm glad that didn't go unnoticed. Don't worry, more insight will be given to those particular pirates. I'm also glad that I decided not to give up on this. I have a bunch of ideas now, and I'm so glad people are still sticking with me. Thank you so much for reading; it's nice to know that someone is enjoying this story so far. And thanks even more for reviewing; I value everyone's feedback so much. Thanks again, you're awesome!
I like it! Very well done, and Kasumi demonstrates, despite her cruel exterior, has the impulse to help others. I think this chapter was very good, and I like how it sets up then ext (coming) chapter very well. I look forward to your next update! :)
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you so much for the kind words! Yup, Kasumi does show the ability to help others, and I'm glad you noticed that. I'm so glad you liked this chapter, it means a lot! Thank you so much for reading and thanks even more for reviewing. I really appreciate your feedback and insight!
First off, sorry for not reviewing this before. I was camping where there's no internet service. I would have died if my family wasn't a comedy show on their own. Anyway, great chapter. I loved every part of it. I was hooked at the beginning with Masaru. I'm starting to wonder if it should be him or Kiba she's with. After that day, it sure does look like they'd make a great love-hate relationship. I loved the comment about Akamaru having a nice dog. I also laughed my head off during the pirates scene with poker and everything. I feel sympathy for Akira. Sometimes being younger than everyone sucks. I wish that target practice was true, but with me and my brother, I'm more of the practice dummy. He hurts....... Anyway, I loved loved loved when Hinata stood up for herself. She's one of my favorite characters and she really does need more confidence in herself. Way to go Kasumi for that. Oh, and great idea, Demon Fox! That was so unexpected, but for her to have to do that is quite clever and creative. I see you've got talent like your sister. Man, put two great brains together and you fry mine with your awesomeness. I would ask you when the next update is, but I've already been a butthole and asked you once, so.....
P.S I was just wondering since, could you check out my Never Too Late story (actual story, not fanfic). I've posted two 1/2 chapters (2 chapters and prologue) on the link you can find on my website under my new blog entry. If you already saw the entry and ignored it, do not, and I repeat, do not read it just to please me.
P.P.S. I hope this long review makes up for not reviewing when it first came out.
Author's Response: Oh, that's quite alright. I know what it's like to not have internet service... horrifying. I had a fanfic rampage when I returned, honestly.
I'm glad you loved it! Especially the beginning. I thought it would be nice to open with our temporary captain, so I'm glad that immediately got you hooked :D
Hmm, I've been getting quite the response about Kasumi's love life. Haha, I guess you guys will just have to wait and see what I have in store ;) Aha, that comment with Akamaru was a joint effort between Demon Fox and myself. She seriously helped a lot with this chapter. Oh, and you just made her quite the happy little eleven-year-old ;D
I personally think that pirate scene was my favorite out of all of the ones I have written, as it shows each personality as I imagined them to be. So I'm glad the readers enjoyed it too! Aha, I also knew you would be empathetic towards Akira, I sort of thought of you during that scene ;) Oh, perhaps you should have a Hinata moment, where you stand up to your brother. Haha, that would be quite ironic, actually.
*facepalm* I check your website everyday... except for today, and I ended up missing such an important blog entry! Of course I'll read your story! Thanks for giving the link, actually. I had wanted to look it up, I just had no idea how to find it *sweatdrop*
Thank you so much for reading this chapter! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for the support you show this story, it really means a lot. I appreciate your feedback so much! Thanks again for reading and sharing your thoughts! You're awesome!
Okay then, milady, I shall do my best to actually review this time. (I was tired last time I read this, so I decided to wait till morning when I could do it justice... and then I was really sick all day long. Not fun.)
Oh yes, an additional note. The person who 'steers' (don't use 'drive' in regards to a sailing vessel if you can avoid it. That's for land vehicles only) is called a 'helmsman' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helmsman ). Definitely never a 'driver'. The second in command is called the 'First Mate' (although I believe you've made Masaru a full 'captain' albeit under Kasumi, but I figured you might still have use for the term). Occasionally long-time seafaring members of the crew might use the term 'Skipper' (or the very informal abbreviation of 'Skip'), but only if they have a very close relationship with the captain in question. I live near a major naval port. This kind of stuff gets drilled into you very young around here. (In case you find it useful - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_nautical_terms)I love how worried Masaru is in the first scene. It's adorable. Definitely potential romance in there. I still think he's an ideal candidate for the third wheel in a Kasumi love triangle, if you end up going there, and you've brought that out nicely. The sky/ocean thing was such a beautiful metaphor as well. It really fitted them. I also loved the colours in your descriptions in that scene. It really brought the ocean and the sky to life for me.
Neji's clearly made an impression, I see, and Kiba's off to a good start too. He's rather adorable with her. Kasumi on the other hand was on top form and extremely funny, which I really enjoyed.... and, as for the cannon characters, well... I was extremely proud of you for the way you wrote them in this chapter. I really was. You demonstrated a thorough understanding of each and every single one of them as Kazumi interacted with them and you continued to show that time and time again right the way through the chapter. It was really nicely done. It really was and you brought out those personalities not only accurately but with a termendous amount of pulling-power. The whole way through I did not stop feeling the character's thought and feelings and laughing with them, feeling sad for them or cringing on their behalf. Really amazing writing.
The whole psychology of the second scene was nicely handled too. Even the way she made sure Team Kurenai failed to realise that she did mean her first set of compliments and the way she then twisted that around on them to be 'helpful' and by it hurtful. She could see both their strengths and their weaknesses and used that against them. A terrific ploy and fantastic to read. Lovely depth to it too.
(Oh, and please let Demon Fox know I think she's a genius. If was left up to some one like me I would have just had them repairing the training grounds for a day or something. Seriously. With the amount of destruction one jutsu can cause - I seriously pity whoever does get stuck with that job.) Kasumi then goes on to demonstrate yet again what a really clever manipulator (& secretly-kind person) she is, when she gets Hinata to stand up for herself and show some backbone, in a scene that I also loved for the great background description and attention to detail. Tsunade, of course, was brilliant and so Tsunade-ish, including her blind faith in Naruto. It was really lovely.
The pirates, of course, were amazing - so full of colour and character. You brought them to life so well. I adore your pirates scenes and I swear this was one of the best yet. They were so funny and such a clash of so many different personalities. It was really fantastic and probably one of my favourite bits of the whole chapter. The poker game and the girl talk. All of it was just such a mix of vibrant different scenarios... it was really amazing and just so prefect for pirates. Lovely writing. (Btw, the idea that boys are only good for target practice is one I utterly agree with. Nah - that really made me laugh though.)
I take my hat off to you, girlie - or I would if I was wearing one - that was an incredible chapter. I seriously wonder if I could manage anything as good for SWB. Well done.
Author's Response: Aw, sorry to hear you were sick. I hope you feel better.
*facepalm* I knew that I was totally screwing up all the names, they seemed to fit right, no wonder. Duh! Ugh, I feel dumb now :P Thank you so much for the tip, I'll work on fixing those errors, and hopefully I'll remember to use them next time.
Aha! I'm glad you picked up on the romance situation. I won't outright give away who the pairing is, but I'm dropping hints here and there to make it a slow progression. I'm also glad the description affected you so much. And here I thought it would just get passed over, thanks for noticing all those little details. Especially the metaphor, I personally loved that too, so I'm glad others did as well :D
Yeah, Neji has quite affected her... not in a positive way either. Kiba... almost the same thing, I suppose. But I'll agree with you that Kiba is adorable with Kasumi.... that could be due mostly to him, if you know what I mean ;) Ah, I'm glad Kasumi stood out with a humorous side this time. I thought it would be nice to see a different side of her. Aw, you're proud of me? Yay! What with the different pasts and characterizations for each person, I was afraid it was just a whole lot of blabbering on about useless stuff. So I'm even happier to know it helped make the chapter that much more enjoyable :D Thank you so much for complimenting my writing!
Wow, how insightful you are! You totally got the whole complimenting thing and actually explained it in a whole lot simpler way than I would have, honestly. Yeah, that's basically how it went, so I'm happy to know everything in that scene went especially well XD
Demon Fox is currently crying tears of joy and gratitude in response to your comment of how she is a genius. Her exact words: 'Thanks a bunch! You're amazing! You rock!' You just made an eleven-year-old very happy ;D
Haha, I couldn't write a chapter with Kasumi and not make her out to be a manipulator of some kind. And we also get to see how kind she can be. And last but not least, how she irks Tsunade oh so much. But of course, Tsunade must have her undying faith in Naruto. That's a given ;)
Honestly, bringing life to my pirates has become quite fun for me, so I'm glad it is fun for you to read. This particular scene was fun, just because it was nice to see the pirates in different setting: normal life as a Blue Pirate. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Haha... target practice, it just seemed so fitting at the time ;)
Thank you so much for the amazingly thought-out review! Your compliments seriously motivate me to keep going. I'm glad you liked this so much. Oh, and don't say that about SWB. That entire story is great, and it's on its way to even greater... greatness (sorry, I'm running out of adjectives). But thank you for reading this and sharing your wonderful thoughts! I really appreciate it! You're an awesome reader, reviewer, supporter, fan, whatever, you're just awesome!
In this chapter, the character of Kasumi is portrayed very well. Each of the characters are terrifically done, each in character and personalities matching. Each compliment was executed nicely, and you could tell each of them had a purpose other than being a filler. I can not wait for your next update, and of course, everyone knows who the next team is. =D
Author's Response: Wow! Thanks for the awesome review! I'm glad I'm showing more detail about Kasumi's character. I figured it was the right time to start giving her more depth, rather than the old murderous killer ;D I'm so glad that I kept the characters close to their personalities, I was really worried about that for this particular chapter. I'm happy the compliments came out well! It was kind of difficult to make the compliments sound realistic, so I'm excited that you thought they went well. Hmm, are you sure you really know who the next team is? >_> Haha! Thank you so much for still reading this and thanks even more for reviewing! You are one of my greatest supporters, thank you so much!