Reviews For Fuu's Love- Naruto's Journey
Name: Yurnero (Signed) · Date: 02/07/15 - 05:07 am · For: Chapter 2: The Girl with the Spiky Mint Green Hair
Please continue this story. I'll read this stories. Don't give up on this stories
Name: Yurnero (Signed) · Date: 02/07/15 - 05:06 am · For: Chapter 1: Zetzu Infestation
I like your story. It's cool and so creative idea. I like it so much. As long as it about romance(not about sex stories). Unfortunately, the story isn't completed. I hope so much that you can continue it to the end. I'm a rookie writer, I like your story as my first inspiration. I like you, please continue your story
Name: Fuu and Naruto (Signed) · Date: 07/11/13 - 06:46 pm · For: Chapter 2: The Girl with the Spiky Mint Green Hair
Sry bout the bad grammer. And sorry it has been so long since I wrote a chapter. I sharped my grammer skills at least and I'm ready ready to get on writting again VERY soon.
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 22/09/13 - 03:28 pm · For: Chapter 2: The Girl with the Spiky Mint Green Hair
The only thing is what I pointed out beforehand in the previous chapter with the writing mistakes. Those were in this chapter as well.
For the actual chapter, I greatly enjoyed it. The only complaint is with the fight I became a bit confused when Sasuke was hearing the actions. I'm not sure why. I mean, I understood what you were getting at, and it may have just been me, but I was confused there. The flashback dream was really intriguing to read. We got a chance to see Fuu's character. I may have taken this wrong, but I liked how she was trying to prove herself by protecting the village, even if technically it didn't need protected. So I'm guessing she has nice control of Chomei since she could form the wings, right? That'll make her a good ally.
So far her character is very interesting, and I enjoyed seeing her and Naruto bond. Then the sweet scene is destroyed by an explosion in real time. What is going on? Nice update, Fuu-chan.
Author's Response:
Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 22/09/13 - 03:28 pm · For: Chapter 1: Zetzu Infestation
I'm probably going to be very nitpicky here, so I apologize. First off, the sentence structure. You're putting the commas in the wrong place as well as adding some when a person speaks. Example:
"Ah chillax Naruto", Kiba said
That should be:
"Ah chillax, Naruto," Kiba said.
Side note - I don't think anyone in Naruto would say chillax. It's too modern a term. Speaking of modern things, you slip into text talk while writing this like u instead of you or i for I (not technically just a text talk mistake, but still). There are also a handful of grammatical mistakes such as your for you're. Now here's a bit that I'm not sure about, so feel free to correct me. Did Sakura mean an actual date like boyfriend-girlfriend? If so, that shouldn't happen. Too much has happened like the scene with Sakura's "confession" for that to happen. Naruto knows she does not love him. Or depending on if you're mind set it different doesn't believe she loves him, and in either case because of that he would stop chasing after her like he used to.
Okay, again, sorry for the nitpicky-ness. I think there may have been more but I've forgotten it.
The entire concept is very interesting. It is definitely not an outcome I had thought of. I wouldn't think of a retreat, but it is a possibility. I thought Fuu would just be an oc but it seems it's the actual character Fuu. I actually thought of doing a short fanfiction about her. I'm curious to see what you'll do with her since very little about her is known. I haven't seen any fanfics yet about the current Naruto so I found it quite interesting with all of his new powers. I'm curious if Sasuke will come in later with how he's out and about, but for all I know he may not really play a part I this story.
Nice chapter, Fuu-chan (is it okay if I call you this?). Off to the next chapter.
P.S. It's Jinchuuriki, not Jinjuuriki. And it's spelled Sensei.
Name: mwtp (Anonymous) · Date: 20/09/13 - 11:17 am · For: Chapter 1: Zetzu Infestation
Ah, this seems to be really awesome! NaruFu is always my favorite, really good working! Keep going on!
Name: belovedly_loveless (Signed) · Date: 30/08/13 - 09:10 pm · For: Chapter 1: Zetzu Infestation
I'm very excited to see where this story goes, and the introduction of a character we have yet to really know.
Author's Response: Well check back like tomorrow and i will have the first chapter done with a twist. :)