"Merry Christmas," I whispered to myself as I sat in the doorway of a optician's, waiting. I checked my watch - two hours until the 25th. It was cold. So very cold. I wasn't wearing much, jeans and a t-shirt. My shoes had been stolen a few hours previously.
A black Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder rolled to a halt in front of me. I stood up, trying to fix a smile onto my face, but I couldn't. Not this time. I slid into the front seat and waited wordlessly.
"What happened?" Sasuke, my best friend of many years, broke the silence. I couldn't speak. I looked over at him; he looked amazing, which depressed me further because I knew I couldn't have him the way I wanted. I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and cry onto his shoulder like a baby. I refrained.
"Well?" Sasuke tilted his head to the side adorably. I struggled with myself for a while, but the words wouldn't come. Kicking myself, hating myself, I looked down at my hands and started to pluck at a loose thread on the hem of my shirt.
Sasuke sighed and pulled out onto the road. I couldn't think straight. I hated this part, the part where I clam up. Where, even if I want to, I can't speak. Sasuke didn't seem to mind my silence. Though he did continuously glance over at me, to make sure I was ok. I could see he was really worried. I resolved to de-clam on the way to his house.
*
"Naruto... Naruto, come on, wake up. We're here," Sasuke gently shook me awake. I hadn't been aware I'd fallen asleep. I yawned and clambered out of the car. We walked in silence up to his enormous mansion. Unthinkingly I moved closer to him, so that we were shoulder-to-shoulder. His arm snaked around me waist.
"I'm sorry I haven't got a room ready for you, so you'll have to cram into mine," Sasuke murmured into the night, not looking at me. I smiled, it would take more than two people for the word 'cram' to apply to Sasuke's monstrous bed. It felt good to smile again. I was glad I'd called him.
I looked up at him. He was smiling too. He gave me a strange sideways hug - pulling me closer to him with the arm that was wrapped around me for a split second. I wished it actually meant something.
We went inside and straight up to Sasuke's room.
"It's too cold for you to sleep in just boxers, Naruto," I noted the lack of suffix, "I'm afraid I must insist you borrow a pair of pajamas off of me."
With that he threw a pair of pure silk pajamas at me. The were, of course, pitch black. I couldn't help but smile.
"Typical. Typical Uchiha. Black silk," I snorted. Sasuke smirked in that handsome way of his and left to give us both a bit of privacy as we changed. I changed quickly and sat on the bed a moment, relaxing. The pajamas smelled of Sasuke.
"Alright," I called to the door. Sasuke re-entered wearing a pair of identical black silk pj's.
"Look Sasuke, we're twins!" I snickered. Sasuke, obviously relieved I was feeling a bit better, laughed his amazing, rare laugh. He crossed the room and sat next to me on the bed. He looked at his hands, smiling sadly, like he didn't know what to feel.
"Will you please tell me?" He looked up at me, with the strangest look on his face. He looked lost, so sad and frightened that tears sprang to my eyes instantly.
"K-Kiba and I ha-had a fight," My voice cracked, but sounded oddly hollow. I struggled to hold myself together, "He... he kicked me out. H-he said... he s-said tha-at he ne-never r-really loved m-m-me, a-and that no-one e-ever w-will. N-not re-really. And th-then he k-kicked me out, I-I didn't know what t-to do... So I c-called y-you..." The tears were flowing freely now, my entire body shook from the silent sobs. I felt like I was being turned inside-out by the grief.
"Oh my God, Naruto. Oh, my God. I'm so, so sorry," Sasuke looked shell-shocked. He pulled me onto his lap and held me closely. I clung to him like I was drowning, desperate for comfort.
After my parents died I'd never really been the same. I've been more fragile. I grew clingy, needy. I had been dumped into children's home after children's home, until eventually I ran away to live with Kiba, because he actually gave a shit.
And now this.
*
Sasuke was asleep. I watched him for a while. He looked so peaceful. I turned my head again and stared up at the ceiling. I thought about how close Sasuke was lying. How simple it would be to reach out and touch him. How I could simply feign sleep and cling to him the way I so desperatly wanted to. But I didn't. Sasuke would latch onto me in a while. He was a very clingy sleeper.
*
I woke up slowly. As predicted, Sasuke was spooning me. I savoured the feel of his arms around me for a few moments. Then gently, so as not to wake him, I lifted his arm off my waist and rolled off the massive bed.
I headed for a shower. There was no hot water as ususal. Sasuke is one of those crazy freaks who have arctic showers. I spent about two mintues under the icy spray before I threw myself out of the shower, teeth chattering. Cursing Sasuke's name I dried myself off.
When I was dressed and had gotten down to the kitchen Sasuke was already there, eating a mixing bowl - I kid you not, a mixing bowl - of Golden Nuggets. For a guy that doesn't like sweet things he eats a hell of a lot of sugar in the mornings.
Suddenly he was laughing (a little manically, if truth be told) with a gleeful glint in his eyes.
"Look, Naruto!" he burst into a fit of giggles as he took a nugget out of his bowl, "It's the same colour as your hair!"
I stared at him. Morning Sasuke freaked me out. He was hyperactive and he just sat there and cackled - not like Regular Sasuke at all.
I grabbed a slice of bread and drowned it in butter and relish. I like relish in the mornings. Most people think I have Cup Ramen, but no. I like relish.
*
"Hey Naruto-kun. Is Sasuke-baka there?" It was Gaara. He and Sasuke were great friends, but sometimes it was hard to tell - they fought a lot.
"Hey, Gaara-kun! How are you? Come on in, Sasuke's still eating sugar in the kitchen."
"He's still Morning Sasuke?"
"Unfortunatly yes."
"Hmm..." Gaara bowed briefly before sweeping into the kitchen. Sasuke grinned at him, spoon mid-way between the sugar-bowl and his bowl of... cereal. He dumped the sugar in his mixing-bowl and stirred, still grinning like a mental patient.
"Hi, Gaara-kun!" Sasuke rose, bowed and hugged him. He was sitting back down, munching his sugar, before anyone knew what happened. I noticed Gaara's cheeks were glowing pink. He looked so cute, blushiing like that, eyes averted.
"Aaaww... You're so cute! I'm telling you - any girl would be lucky to have you!" Sasuke cooed.
"Except I'm gay, Sasuke-baka. You know this."
"Oh, yeah..."
"Yes," Gaara blinked, "Did you forget?"
"Forget what?"
"The theatre? Me, you, Avenue Q? Am I ringing any bells, here?"
"Oh shit! I'll go get changed!" Sasuke ran upstairs, leaving me and Gaara in the kitchen, slightly stunned.
"So... You guys are going to see Avenue Q, huh?"
"Yes."
"Cool. I saw it a couple of weeks ago with K-Kiba," I stumbled on his name, cringing and hating myself.
"Is it good?"
"Yeah! It was great, dattebayo!"
"That's good. I wanted our first date to be special..."
"Your - your first date?" I couldn't believe it. Sasuke. MY Sasuke was going out with Gaara?!
"Yes. He asked me out a couple of weeks ago. I said I'd get tickets. And here I am."
"And here you are..." I laughed, but it came out more like a strangled sob. Gaara - formal to the last - shook my hand and headed out the door as Sasuke came down the stairs.
"We'll be back soon, Naruto-kun!" Sasuke called shutting the door behing him. My heart broke, clean in two.
"Give up, Naruto. Don't get your hopes up over some guy again," I told myself, trying not to cry.
I ate prctically all of the chocolate, biscuits and ice-cream in the house. I drank all the fizzy drinks and hot chocolate. I consumed every fatty, greasy, sugary think I came across. I felt like crap.
Sasuke and Gaara came back, both a little drunk, after nine that night. They made out in the hall, right there in front of me. I closed the door again, feeling worse. Worse than when Sasuke fucked off with Orochimaru. That guy was a nut. Kind of hot, but he was a nut.
Sasuke adored him. He broke it off - had to - when 'Oro' wouldn't even look at him; there were hotter buns on the grill.
A car pulled up the driveway. The doorbell rang. I gratefully answered it, tired of hearing Sasuke's bed groaning in pleasure.
Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.
"Naruto-san," he said my name, smiling with his too-wide mouth.
"Orochimaru-san," I said curtly, afraid he'd take Sasuke away again.
"Merry Christmas," he bowed his head, still smiling. That threw me. I was struck dumb. Christmas. I had forgotten.
"Yeah," I responded, frowning to myself, realising the shitiness of my Christmas.
"Is Sasuke here?" he asked quietly.
"He's a little... busy..." a particulaly loud 'sproing' illustrated my point.
"Is he ignoring you, his GUEST, on CHRISTMAS?" Orochimaru was outraged, his voice got louder and louder, "I mean, boy or no boy, I have half a mind to march up those stairs and tell him a thing or two about common courtesy! How DARE he make you sit and listen to - ! Oh he makes me SEETHE that damnable Sasuke!"
"I don't mean to interrupt your... uh... rant, Orochimaru-san, but I think it would be best if you either came in or left. Both of us will freeze if we stand here in the doorway," I was babbling. I knew it. He knew it. I blushed. He smiled.
"Sensible boy," he motioned with his head, "Come on. You shouldn't be subjected to this," he pointed to the ceiling, "You can come to my home for tea. That is, of course, unless you want to hear those two."
I panicked for a moment, then started babbling again.
"Okay... Alright - alright I'll go to your home. But please don't tell me weird stuff about Sasuke. Oh God - Sasuke! If he finds out I even opened the door to you he'll kick me out! I can't afford to be kicked out! Promise you won't tell him! Oh Christ! And I'm babbling again! What is wrong with me?! What is it about you that sets me babbling? And why are you laughing at me?! Oh God! Oh God! OhGodohGodohGodohGodohGodohGod!"
Orochimaru's surprisingly warm hand clamped over my mouth. I shut up and focused on steadying my breathing back to a slightly more normal pace.
Once I was calm I looked up at him. He didn't remove his hand. I grabbed his wrist and tried to pry his hand off my face, but I couldn't budge it. I did the only thing I could think of : I licked his palm. It tasted of lemons. He withdrew his hand slowly and calmly wiped my saliva off onto his pant-leg.
He laughed. His laugh wasn't as melodious as Sasuke's, or as infectious as Kiba's, but it was incredible - better than the other two's combined. It was a quiet chuckle, his eyes crinkled slightly and his teeth caught the light and sparkled like diamonds. Then and there I wondered what diamonds tasted of. I already knew what the pale, manicured hands of a pianist tasted of. I wanted to find out what the soft lips of an angel felt like, how the self-assured tongue of a prince moved, what the sweet breath of a thespian breathed on my neck felt like. But most of all, I wanted to know what glittering diamonds tasted of.
Suddenly I noticed how close we were standing to one another, barely half a foot between us. I struggled with myself - will I, won't I?
"I'm gonna go get my coat..." I mumbled before walking to the cloakroom. He smiled and inclined his head.
"Sensible boy."
Something about the way he said that - sensible boy - just set my heart pumping blood up to colour my cheeks.
I grabbed my coat, wallet and keys and walked out to the hallway, where Orochimaru was looking at a framed photo on the wall. It was a photo of me and Sasuke mucking about at a music festival. In the picture the two of us were wearing a pair of boxers each and shit loads of tinsel. We had our arms wrapped around each other. Sasuke had lifted a leg and was resting his thigh on my crotch. We were grinning like madmen.
"Were you two intoxicated?"
"It was taken at dawn. We were both on sugar."
"Ah, yes. I remember Morning Sasuke well."
We both laughed. It felt nice to have someone to share a laugh with. I noticed that the two had done the deed and were both sound asleep.
"It seems the grounds on which I invited you over on have collapsed somewhat," Orochimaru smiling, shrugged, bade me goodnight and left.
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Chapter end notes: R&R please!