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Cyclamen by doodlelover

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Ok, this is why I can't get anything done! I start a oneshot that's supposed to be 500 words, at most, and then it turns into...into THIS! T.T Why can't I focus on the long oneshots that I want to complete instead of these ones...? Ya know, those good ones that are filled with smut...I wanna get those done, not these.

-ahem- For clarification, Sasuke is not dead right now. He's alive, 'kay? Don't think this is going to be a pointless little drabble of Naruto going 'oh no! my seme is dead!' 'cuz it's not. And remember, this is nether SasuNaru or NaruSasu. Just some tongue action in there XD

Warnings: People that can't handle real life and all that might come with it--leave after the first line thingy that signifies a scene change. And uh -clears throat- THIS IS YAOI! Don't like two hot guys in a relationship? Then the hell outta here. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: -sigh- Are Naruto and Sasuke having sex on my couch? If not, then please don't sue me.

Thank you and...Enjoy.







Cyclamen









A girl shuffled through the high stack of papers with nimble fingers. The sound of rustling filled her office and dimmed down the strangled feelings of remorse, anger, uselessness, and fear. The air was thick with the tight emotions that were not said aloud, nor expressed in any way. All there was were two faces of equal detached stature standing in a room which suddenly felt too small, too insignificant to everything else in the world.

Again, uselessness took over in both of their minds.

The curtain blinds were drawn closed, not one of them feeling the need to see ‘the day’ or the bright feelings that seeing something as sunny as that would bring. They couldn’t bear to think that somewhere someone was feeling any sort of happiness when--whenthis day had come, when they both knew there was nothing more than they could do. When they were considered useless.

A step too fast and much too heavy planted itself on the wooden floor, the dull ‘thunk’ it made bringing them both back to their current mindset of what the task at hand was. The woman shook her head a few times and continued on her way, no longer caring about breaking the delicate silence that had befallen them.

“Naruto...” she whispered as she walked around her desk to the other side. She didn’t get an acknowledgment, so she continued anyway. “It’s hard...I know...but we have to--” her voice broke as she gripped the piece of paper she was looking for. “--We have to finish this before...before...” she trailed off and cried silently, hunched over her desk in a pathetic manner.

Across the room, standing just in front of the large mahogany door of his friend’s office, stood a blond with shockingly bright hair. The image of the boy’s face, eyes, and all around stature would easily give the impression that he was someone happy, someone other’s liked to be around--but as soon as you saw his sunken in eyes, the sickingly pale color of his skin and way he hunched over in a way that stated ‘sadness’ in bright bold print, one would think differently right away.

“I know, Sakura...” Was all he uttered before leaving the room quietly, shoving his hands deep within his pockets as he walked down the stairs and out of the building. He just couldn’t deal with seeing her cry--again.

The sky was just as bright as ever and bluer than any sea or ocean could ever muster, but as the sun started to set, and the birds took to their roosts, one could feel the impending feeling of dread befalling the entire city as night took it’s rightful place.

Naruto scoffed and continued scuffling down the street to his parked car. When he reached it he pushed the button on his keys to unlock it, opened the door and then slammed it shut when he got in. The leather seat he sat on was hot from sitting here for more than just a couple of hours, bit he reveled in the feeling of burning into his skin, the pain that it brought as it overwhelmed him. A sigh left his dry lips when it disappeared.

Another few minutes to recollect himself were spent before he got to starting the car, pulling out, and driving down the hectic streets of the city. It looked like a normal evening in the bustling streets, but he couldn’t let himself divulge in that feeling for long. He knew if he tried to forget some of his sorrow now, it would only come back and slap him in the face ten times over later. Dealing with it was the best way, but even doing it like that was tearing him apart from the inside out. It felt like there was a chainsaw settling in the pit of his belly, twisting up his organs in the most painful and agonizing way possible.

Some streets lights, new roads, and curves later and he was at his destination. The large building loomed over him as he drove strait for the parking lot and found a space in the far back. He still couldn’t go inside this building without getting up the nerve to first. He remembered several times when he couldn’t take it and ten up and left just as he was about to open the front door. He didn’t want to do that this time. Not when--

“Naruto.”

He looked over beside him as someone started to walk with him. “Yeah?” His eyes flashed forward again to focus on the steadily oncoming structure. His pace slowed as he neared his destination and he felt more inclined to make sure his companion could keep up with him.

“You’ve been coming here every day for the past year. Give it a rest and just go and have fun for once.”

Naruto stopped abruptly, turning to look at the other. “Kiba,” he said slowly as his eyes closed when he felt a stinging sensation. “You don’t know, do you?”

The brunette inclined his head. “Know what?”

The blond refused to look at him, turned, and then kept walking as Kiba paused for a few more seconds behind him. A few more seconds later and he heard footsteps approaching, and then a hand landed on his shoulder. He shrugged it off nonchalantly.

“Naruto...I’m sorry. I really am. I had no idea--”

“Well, now you do.” That had a nice impact on Kiba, as he no longer followed the blond and just kept his place at the back of the parking lot.

The double doors of the hospital opened as soon as he reached the platform, sliding closed when he and a few other people walked in. This was the main emergency area for the whole city, so it didn’t surprise him that there were people coming in when visiting hours were over. He himself shouldn’t be here, but the staff had given him special permission when he always refused to leave. It’d only taken a month for them to realize he wasn’t going to give in to their wishes.

The receptionist at the corner gave him a kind smile as he passed. He took a hand out of his pocket and waved to her, not showing the same courtesy to smile, but he knew she’d understand, and if she didn’t he didn’t care. All the people here could go to Hell for all he cared. They couldn’t even take care of their patients correctly. Well, not good enough for him anyway. He was sure any other person would be peachy keen to have this kind of service. But to him it was no good.

Naruto stepped into the elevator and stood quietly until the electric doors opened up to his floor. The white walls of the corridor screamed at him with their endless white as he stepped out, the shiny floors glinting from the bright lights above that stretched down the long hall.

He never once averted his eyes to look at the passing nurses, doctors, and fellow visitors that were also there on special admission. This was probably the busiest floor in the whole building, but it definitely wasn’t the brightest. All around him he could feel the heavy aura that was coming off of every single person he passed, the sobs and chocked words coming from some of the rooms echoed deeply in his ears.

But he still didn’t look, not even when he turned a corner and almost ran into a doctor rushing to one of his patients. His eyes didn’t drift from anywhere but where he was going.

It was too soon when he arrived at the door he was looking for. But he didn’t stall like he would any other time, he didn’t rest his head on the cool white, or let his hand linger on the handle longer than necessary. He merely twisted the knob, pushed the door open halfway, and then stepped into the room as the door closed loudly behind him.

The bed on the right side of the room was small, but the room was just big enough to hold all the necessary machines, tools, and a small chair on the left wall that was opposite the bed. A large window opened up to a spectacular view of the city as it started to light up as the day ended and the night approached. The curtains that would normally separate the room in two were sat on the sill, left forgotten by the nurse when she had rushed his friend in here. Even with a room that was meant for two, it was still too small. Everything seemed to small when he was in here, with this person.

Another breath and he walked towards the bed with quiet steps. He stopped at the edge, looking down at the motionless figure that laid there, erratic breathing coming out in puffs as the clear mask blocked perspiration from coming out, leaving it to collect on the surface inside. A steady beep filled the room and the lines of a pulse flashed on the monitor screen.

Naruto ignored everything there and leaned down to cup the other’s face. His eyes fluttered close as he rested his forehead against a pale one, reveling in the feeling of touching this skin again. It was always smooth and flawless, even when there was no one to take care of it--no time to either. All he cared about was the warmth that spread from his palms and outwards when the contact was made. It felt so nice to finally be able to do this after such a long day.

“...Sasuke...” he breathed out. His own breath bounced back to him, filling his nostril with a clean, fresh, spearmint fragrance.

He wished he could take off the mask that was making it impossible for him to press his lips against Sasuke’s, but he knew if he did the other might die. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want that at all.

And the thought brought everything crashing back to him in a violent tremor that visible made him shake with terror. He suddenly felt very sick, and regretted eating what little he had that day. He had to swallow the bile that rose into his throat as nausea overtook him and threatened to have him running to the bathroom any second. His hands became clammy and began to quake, so he pulled away and wiped them on his jeans.

Naruto stood a second longer before going over to the chair and pulling it over so he could sit close to Sasuke. He made himself comfortable by leaning over and resting his chin on his clasped hands.

He must have stayed like that for well over an hour, waiting, wishing that some sort of movement could happen. He was always like this, and it just made it worse that it was night now. If anything did happed it had probably occurred earlier, when he was with Sakura.

And then, like a gift from the Heavens, Sasuke’s eyes fluttered.

Naruto sat upright and smiled, happy that the waiting was over.

Obsidian eyelashes graced pale flesh once more before eyes that were unfocussed slit open and looked around. Confusion laced the man’s gaze for a few moments before some semblance of realization took over, and he looked to his left and smiled lightly from beneath his clear mask.

“Naruto.” It was said softly, and if Naruto hadn’t been as close as he was he was sure he would have missed it.

“Mornin’.” he said cheerfully.

Sasuke scowled. “It’s hardly morning, Naruto.” This time his tone was louder and you didn’t have to strain to hear it.

But Naruto didn’t care about that, all he cared about was that he could spend some time with Sasuke now. Some well deserved quality time too. He had a lot to talk about with his friend, and now that he didn’t have to wait until morning he was glad and eager to get it over with. So, he just continued to smile stupidly at the raven haired man in front of him.

Sasuke smirked. “What? Am I really that good looking? Or has your brain finally gone dead after all this time?” he said in a teasing tone.

“Shut up, bastard!” Naruto shouted back, but not as sourly as the sentence might suggest. He smiled and laughed lightly. “But you’re right, you are that good looking.”

“Oh, really?” Sasuke inquired with a quirked brow. He thought for a moment and then reached up fragile looking fingers to pull down his mask. Naruto would have protested, but it would have done him no good and he knew it. Better to just let Sasuke do what he wanted. “Then,” Sasuke started again. “Why don’t you just come over here and show me how good looking I am to you.”

Naruto didn’t take another second to think before he sat up from his seat and hungrily attached his lips to Sasuke’s. They stayed attached like that in a sweet kiss for a few seconds before Naruto pulled away to give the other some breathing room. Sasuke scowled up at him.

“I’m not going to break, you know.” He said bitterly.

The blonde scratched his head sheepishly, still bent over the hospital bed. “Sorry, sorry. I just can’t seem to get over the fact that you’re...ya know.”

“Crippled?” Sasuke finished nonchalantly.

Naruto stood bolt upright and waved his hands. “No, no! Just that you’ve been in the hospital for so long! And you‘re not crippled, just bedridden.”

“Yeah right, moron. Quit trying to be nice.” Sasuke smirked again and scooted over to make room. “Now get back over here before I kick you out.” He growled menacingly at the blond in warning and glared. Naruto complied, not wanting to get his head cut off, and crawled onto the bed with Sasuke. Not caring in the lease that it was too small.

Naruto then began to rant about his day to Sasuke, waving his arms in the air once in a while to narrate certain parts in his own way. The brunette didn’t seem to mind it when their shoulders would smudge together, or when Naruto would turn and parts of their faces would brush. It only made him smile even more seeing how active the blonde was--how willing he was to sharing his whole day with almost no filters. Direct quotes and everything. It was only when Naruto was nearing the end of the day that he stopped abruptly and a saddened look overtook his whole face.

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak. “Na--”

“So, Sasuke.” Naruto cut him off. “Had anything to eat?” he wondered.

“No, but--”

“Then I’ll get you something from downstairs! Hold on.” Naruto threw the covers off of himself and swung his legs over the side of the bed to stand. His arm was caught as soon as his feet touched the cold tiled ground, and he was pulled back harshly onto a hard chest, his nose buried in the fabric of a clean t-shirt. He inhaled and closed his eyes as arms wrapped around his whole body, pulling his flush against Sasuke’s own.

“You’re staying right here, dobe. Don’t even think about leaving me.”

Naruto sighed as the softly spoken words were muffled into his hair. His body relaxed at Sasuke’s touch and warmth seeped into his clothes. Slowly, his hands reached up to wrap around the other’s thin waist. “Just because you’re Japanese it doesn’t mean you can insult me that way, ya know...” he whispered back.

“Yeah...but insulting you in my own tongue just seems to fit you so much better.” the smirk in his voice was prominent, and Naruto couldn’t help but smile in return to that. He was very glad that Sasuke seemed so much more lively...

“Sasuke...you need to eat...”

“I’ll eat later. Right now I have time with you, and I don’t want to waste it.”

Naruto yelped when he was suddenly picked up, and then rolled over until he was in a completely new position and face to face with a smug looking Sasuke. He had to blink a few times before his mind could catch up to process what happened. When it did finally register, he glared and pulled away. “Sasuke you know you can’t--”

“Mm...I don't care.”

Naruto grunted and shifted his hips until he was comfortably positioned in-between Sasuke’s legs, the blanket kicked off to the edge of the bed. The tubes in Sasuke’s wrists were twisted, but still in place, so Naruto didn’t let his mind worry over the fact that a nurse could come in any second to make sure he was fine if they came out. As long as the heart monitor didn’t speed up and become erratic, they were fine. But even then Naruto was sure that Tsunade would keep other people from coming in to check when he was there to keep watch on Sasuke. His guardian knew full well what him and Sasuke were to each other and didn't plan for others to find out.

“You’re such a girl sometimes, Sasuke.” he laughed when Sasuke scowled at him. “Aw, don’t make that face! You know I think you’re prettier than any chick!” he grinned widely.

“You better think that way, moron.”

Naruto squeaked when a hand snaked up to tangle in his hair, pulling him down to crush his lips against Sasuke’s again in a lopsided kiss. That noise quickly turned into a moan as he propped himself up to drape himself completely over the man, the kiss turning much more professional and heated.

The blond smirked into the kiss as he prodded his tongue into a hot mouth and the beeping that filled the room quickened to a steady, but much more upbeat tempo. Sasuke kissed back with just as much vigor, trying to ignore the way Naruto just kept on going when he knew Sasuke was trying not to growl and push the idiot away. No, he wouldn’t give the blond the satisfaction of knowing he’d gotten Uchiha Sasuke’s pulse going like that.

Their tongues tangled in the recesses of Sasuke's mouth for a good amount of time, Naruto and the other moaning and breathing through their noses so they could keep attached as long as possible. The blond's strong muscle went to go and explore the already memorized cavern when Sasuke pulled back, letting him in even further. After Naruto was fully satisfied that he had trailed across every inch of the man, he let Sasuke have his turn.

And then Naruto pulled away, resting his forehead on Sasuke’s much like he did before and cupped a pale face in his hands, swiping his thumb across the man‘s cheeks in a calming manner. He knew that in the condition he was in Sasuke wouldn’t be able to kiss as long as he himself could, so he had to hold back, but do it so that he wasn’t found out by the headstrong Uchiha.

“Sasuke...” he sighed out.

“...What is it...?”

They were back to talking in hushed voices, both of them making it sure it was only them that could hear what they said to one another. Sasuke closed his eyes and inhaled the air that Naruto breathed out, making the space between them almost too muggy to be able to breath properly. But they didn’t care. Only focused on the feeling of having each other close--close enough so that they could even hear what the other was thinking, whether it was about them and the small room they were in, or if their thoughts drifted miles and miles away.

“I love you...”

And that’s why Sasuke wasn’t surprised at all when those words came out of the blond's mouth.

“Yeah...”

He was thinking the same thing.



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Three Months Later




“So, Naruto, what’ll it be?”

“Uh...just one potted flower, I guess.” the man smiled and placed his purchase on the counter.

Ino smiled back and rang up the azalea that was placed in front of her. “So, who’s it for? Maybe Sakura?” she winked at him and gentle placed the flower in a specially made package.

“Uh...no.” he hesitated and tried to hide the tinge in his cheeks by turning his head away.

Ino eyed the boy suspiciously and stopped in the process of her bagging. “Spill it.”

“It’s no one important, of course!” he looked away nervously and scratched the back of his head, waving his other hand in dismissal.

“Naruto, if you don’t--”

“It’s just Sasuke!” he blurted out quickly. His head snapped back as he realized what he’d done, and then he looked away again, making a grab for the bag in Ino’s hand.

The girl quickly pulled the flower away and shook her head. “Naruto, you of all people should know it’s bad luck to give someone a potted plant if their hospitalized!” she chastised her friend and quickly placed the pot down behind the counter. She then made a show of strolling over to the greenhouse part of the store and motioned for Naruto to follow her. He did so, regretfully.

“Why?”

“Even though you’re technically Japanese, you don’t know a think about you’re own culture, do you?” she asked over her shoulder as she looked carefully at each plant in the greenery all about the place.

“Um...no. Sasuke’s the one who cares about all that kind of stuff.” he said uncaringly, looking at some of the more exotic flowers in the greenhouse.

“Exactly! So when you’re getting someone who lived in Japan almost their entire life a flower, you should never give them a potted one. Especially if they’re in the hospital, stupid!”

Naruto ignored the insult and asked “why”, going on his way quickly as she tried to get closer to him. He really didn’t need a ‘buddy buddy’ moment with her now. She was being just plain annoying at the moment.

“Because the Japanese word for ‘rooted’ also has the same annunciation as ‘bedridden’.” she said matter-of-factly.

Well, he hadn’t expected that, but now he was glad Ino had stopped him. Sasuke would have ranted him out for not making sure to research the topic carefully when giving him a present. That’s how much of a bastard he was. He expected him to study whenever he went out of his way to do something as girly as giving him presents.

Naruto reached out a hand and picked up a large, burly looked flower. Ino scowled at him out of the corner of her eye and sighed about the ‘clueless-ness of men.’ The blond put down the flower after reading the tag. Apparently Chrysanthemums weren’t popular with the ladies. He didn’t see what was so wrong with them. He though they looked nice--Clearly not as fragile looking as most of these flowers seemed to be.

As Ino looked for ‘the perfect flower’ Naruto continued to poke and prod at some of the plants in the far off section of the place. A flower on a high shelf caught his eye, the vibrant purple color making him attracted to it. He was sure Sasuke would appreciate him getting a color like this, heck, he’d probably tear his head off for it he’d be so happy. Naruto giggled silently at himself as he thought of the reaction he’d get. Sasuke would never forgive him for getting him something that girly. And it would be perfect just to get the other all flustered.

He picked one of the flowers off it’s stem and held it to his face, studying the almost impossible angle the petals suck out at. He smirked and turned to Ino, who was walking over with a rather peculiar...plant in her hands. Naruto wasn’t really sure what to call it and his face fell when he realized that was the flower she wanted him to take--if you could really call it a flower. The thing looked like a bunch of mini Christmas trees...only multicolored.

The blond noticed the flower he was holding and she bent over to sniff it. He pulled his hand away and set the ruined blossom on a nearby shelf. “What about these?” he asked with a playful tone while pointing to the purple flowers . “I’m sure Sasuke would love ’em.” he grinned.

Ino hesitated for a moment and then held out the plant she was carrying. “Naruto, did you know that all flowers carry special meanings...?” She looked down at some of the buds on the plant while she considered her next sentence, and how to put it. “This one...these Astilbe...do you know what they mean?” She glanced at Naruto and fingered one of the delicate buds.

The other blond looked at her weirdly. “No...I didn’t know that. So what? What does it mean?” he asked.

Ino smiled and closed her eyes. “I chose these flowers for a reason, Naruto. I thought it would be perfect for you to give to Sasuke.” Her smile widened as she answered the man‘s previous question. “‘I will still be waiting’. That is what these flowers describe.”

Naruto frowned, but he was actually happy to find that Ino had delved so hard to find something as meaningful--albeit cheesy- as that. “Well, that’s nice. But don’t you think Sasuke would want something...ya know, brighter? Like these--what do these mean?” he pointed at the purple flowers again.

Ino turned without saying anything, placing down the large pot and using special cutting tools to cut of some of the best and healthiest blossoms of the plant. She then used a rubber band to wrap the stems together gently, making sure they wouldn’t snap off or come loose either. She stood, walked over to the arch of the entryway and paused.

Naruto just tilted his head and watched as her smile faded to become something akin to grief, sadness. He had almost never been so confused in his life as he watched her eyes become full of pain--for who, he didn’t know.

“Like all flowers, that one has a special meaning to it too.” she thought for a second and looked at Naruto before casting her gaze down and exiting the room.

Naruto almost didn’t hear it, but if it hadn’t of been so ominously quiet in the large greenhouse, he was sure he would have missed it entirely and lost his chance of ever finding out the meaning of the flower ‘Cyclamen’. But he had heard it, and the word sent a pang of something painful through his chest upon hearing the word.

“Goodbye...”


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Finger dances along clear glass in a nervous habit, he sound clinking and filling the soundless area of Naruto’s car. The sound stopped abruptly as a red light stopped him from making his turn on time and a string of curses left the man’s mouth. As soon as the light turned green again the tapping resumed and once again filled the soundless space. He held the small vase he had in his arms to his chest more tightly.

Sasuke was alright, he was fine and would be for a long time. Naruto was sure of it, because even when the doctors had said he wouldn’t make it, he did. And even that big scare a few months ago was over. Him and Sakura hadn’t had to finish the papers after all, and that made him extremely happy to know.

Of course, Naruto had known Sasuke would pull through all along. There was no doubt in his mind that Sasuke wouldn’t die, and he had been right too, despite being scared out of his wits before. But that was behind him, and he didn’t give a shit anymore what the doctors said to him. Not even Tsunade could make him believe it.

A few more minutes and he had his car parked and locked, keys shoved far into his pockets as he made the long, treacherous walk down the hospital parking lot. He still didn’t know why he was still parking at the very back of the space, but it had now grown into a habit, and he still always got just a little anxious whenever he came by here. With his new job and everything he hadn’t been able to visit as often, but he came whenever he needed to and whenever he could make it. Even on his days off he was here to see Sasuke.

As always, the receptionist at the front counter greeted him kindly, and he smiled back even brighter. He didn’t care for the elevator always being too slow, and the music playing wasn’t hardly what he was into. But the nauseating ride was over in a bit and he was able to step off, look around, and then wave to all the people that he knew in the small corridor.

Sasuke had been moved to a new floor a little over two weeks ago, and it only helped to further Naruto’s bright atmosphere. At least now he didn’t have to deal with all the tortured, pale, sickly faces that were on the previous ward. And now he could see Shizune and Tsunade a lot more since they also worked on this floor.

Reaching the door to Sasuke’s room, he paused when he heard a muffled sound from inside. It got louder and louder the longer he listened, it wasn’t long before he could identify the sound as someone crying. The sobbing only got louder when another voice spoke--calmer, but still strained.

Sakura. Tsunade.

The vase of Astilbe flowers he held in his quaking hand was shaking, the stems on the inside clattering on the glass almost violently as his mind worked around the scene, grasping it for what it was.

His eyes went wide, face draining of all color.

The door in front of him opened, forcing him to take a step back to avoid being knocked over as a tear-faced Sakura came out, not stopping for a second in her mad tirade as she ran down the hall. Even though his body moved, his mind still refused to work.

Not more than a few seconds later, Tsunade came out and looked Naruto strait in the eye as she saw him. She kept her distance and started to say something.

Naruto didn’t hear. He couldn’t. Just watched as her lips moved and her hands made vague motions to the room, to him, and then in the direction Sakura had taken off to.

But his mind was elsewhere. Thinking of dark eyes, pale skin, raven hair.

Sasuke. Nothing but Sasuke filled his thoughts as scenes from his--their--entire life was played by.

Tsunade was still talking when he screamed and fell to his knees.

The sound of glass shattering was heard as a vase was dropped.














Please, review this oneshot, if not any of my other ones. Even if you want to kill me, I am very proud of this and want to see what other people think of it.

-bows- I would appreciate it very, VERY much! -hugs-

Sorry for any glaring mistakes! I did my best to root them out!

P.S. I KNOW that the title and summary don't make any sense. I'm horrible when it comes to that stuff T.T Give a girl a break, I wrote all of that in the last two hours.

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