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Am I Allowed to Feel Happiness after All I've Done by Elflady

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The streets that a few hours earlier were full of life lay deserted and bloody, littered with dead bodies. The houses were dark and silent. Only death remained to watch a small boy run down the street. His tear-filled eyes were wide with fear, avoiding the bodies of persons he once knew and loved. A dark figure in the middle of the road made him abruptly skid to a halt.

“This can’t be true. You’re not my brother. Because…” the small child said, eyes overflowing again, his voice weak and trembling before it faded away.

“The reason why I continued to act as the brother you desired was because I wanted to ascertain your capacity. You are like me, capable of awakening ‘mangekyou sharingan’. However, there is a special condition: you must kill your closest friend.”

“No way…” the young kid stammered, shocked at the terrible thing one had to do to obtain mangekyou.

“Just as I did,” the cold voice of his older brother said.

“That was…. You… You killed Shisui-san?” the boy asked, terrified because of what he had to experience at this young age.

“That’s right. Thanks to that I managed to obtain these eyes.” He paused slightly, before continuing, “If you awaken it, there will be three people including myself who can use mangekyou sharingan. In that case, there would be reason enough to let you live. But as you are now, you’re not even worth killing. Foolish little brother, if you want to kill me… curse me! Hate me, and live a long and unsightly life. Run away…. Run away… and cling to your pitiful life. And when you have the same eyes as me, come before me.” As the older Uchiha finished, he once again used his sharingan on his younger brother, who fell unconscious to the ground.

Itachi ran through the dark forest, jumping from tree to tree, quickly getting further away from his old village. Until now, he had pushed all his feelings and thoughts aside, only concentrating on his mission. A mission that only four people, excluding himself, knew about- Sandaime, Danzou and the council members.

He had been forced to make the hardest decision in his life: to not carry out the mission and let a war break out, or help stop the Uchiha’s planned coup d’état and prevent a forth ninja war. But in order to do that, he would have to kill his own clan.

Also, if he carried out the mission, he would be treated as a mass murderer and a missing-nin, so the people of Konoha and other countries’ ninja villages wouldn’t find out about the secret mission: that the Sandaime, however unwillingly, had ordered the assassination of one of the strongest ninja clans.

In order to complete his mission, Itachi did what he had promised himself to never do- he killed his best friend, Shisui, to obtain the mangekyou sharingan. He had always hated the true powers of the sharingan, and the ways to unlock them. First, kill your best friend and obtain mangekyou; then, take your own brother’s eyes to earn the eternal mangekyou.

But in the end, Itachi ended up failing his mission, for he spared one person. He just couldn’t bring himself to kill his little brother, Sasuke. He had hardened his heart and mind and slaughtered everyone, even his parents, but when Sasuke arrived, completely terrified, Itachi couldn’t raise his katana against him.

Instead, he acted as the evil traitor he was in his own eyes and did what he could to make his beloved brother hate him, though it broke his heart to do it, so that Sasuke one day would be strong enough to kill him and give Itachi the peace he desired.

Itachi continued in the same pace though he was already tired, only stopping to slash his headband and put it back on, his heart filled with pain, sadness, guilt, regret and anger. But he knew that if he hadn’t done what he had, a fourth ninja war would’ve erupted. Itachi had experienced the third war when he was only four years-old. Still pained by the memories, he had turned into someone who treasured peace and didn’t want to fight unnecessarily.

It was ironic really, that someone like him chose to be a ninja. Maybe it was the pressure from the clan, but he wasn’t sure. However, he did know that he would do whatever he could to prevent another war. Now, he had saved the fire country from a war, saving all the innocent people, in the exchange of his own clan’s existence.

Interrupted from his thoughts by a few early birds starting their singing, he noticed the sunrise was near. He could already see the light over the tree tops. Itachi recognized where he was; it was somewhere around here that the Akatsuki leader was waiting with his new partner, someone named Kisame. He wasn’t sure, though; he couldn’t remember it correctly.

After twenty minutes, Itachi reached the edge of the forest where he could make out two persons, both with enormous chakra amounts. Thanks to the sharingan, he noticed that the shorter man was a hologram, meaning that either Leader was far away or he didn’t want to show himself in person.

By the time he reached them, Itachi had completely encased his heart in ice, and he didn’t intend for it to ever be melted.
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