"Where to next?" said Zetsu, talking to himself again. "I don't know. How about we go on vacation?" said the left side of him. "Hmmn... not a bad idea. Why don't we go ask the others if they want to?" "Finally, we agree on something." (He's actually serious, they haven't agreed on anything since they found out the right side of him was gay for the left one.)
"Honey! I'm home!" yelled Zetsu as he melted up out of the floor.
"Zetsu!" yelled Kisame, "Your late! And here I went through all this trouble to make your favorite, Soilent Greens. It'sa buncha muncha cruncha human!"
"No time for that!" said Zetsu, "We need to go on a vacation now!"
"Vacation?" said Itachi, looking up from his nail polish, "Like, where to? Ooh, ooh, how about Miami?"
"No, no, no!" yelled Sasori, "We are going to the world famous art museum in Germany!"
"Ooh," said Deidara, "I like that idea.Hmn"
"Whoa," said Itachi, "Like, what happened to your voice, Deidara?"
"Apparently," said Deidara in his new, deep voice, "My American voice actor is Mr. T. Hmn!"
"Lucky," said Itachi, "Mine died looking in a mirror with Amaterasu, so now I have to use Mary Kate and Ashley's little girl voice. It's driving me crazy!"
"So..." said Sasori, "Are we off to Germany then?"
"No!!!" screamed almost everyone in the room.
"Hey!" screamed Hidan, "Why don't we go to the main church of my religion? I haven't been there since my initiation."
"No way!" said Kakuzu, "I want to go on an *hmn* *hmn* *cough* *cough* entrauprenural venture at Fort Knox."
"You know," said Tobi, "I kind of want to go to Jeruselum, I'm Jewish, ya'know?"
"Blasphemer!" screamed Hidan, "You shall fall before the wrath of Jashin! As shall all non-belivers!"
"Give it a rest." said Konan, "No religeous destinations and no ventures for personal gain. Them's the rules. Deal with it."
"Awww." said Hidan, Kakuzu, and Tobi in unison.
"That's it." said Pain, "We are going to Italia, no exceptions."
"Umm, dude?" said Tobi, "It's called Italy, not Italia. Get it right."
"Well eeexcuuuse me! Just who is the leader again?" said Pain.
"Grrr..." said Tobi, focusing his Sharingan on the annoying, orange-haired, jewalry lover.
"O-oh," Pain stuttered, "Right. Heh-heh."
"*mumble* *mumble* I wanted to go to Jamacia." said Zetsu.
"I heard that!" said Pain. "Now shut up and go reserve our hotels!"
"Which ones?"
"Hmn..." said Pain, "How about we build up some Marriot miles? I love their breakfasts."
"Yeah," said Zetsu, "What ever." and he sunk into the floor, making a popping sound as he did.
Kisame started to mumble, "There goes my trip to Hawai."
~ ~ ~ Later in Italy ~ ~ ~
"Hey! That's my eggroll! Hmn!" Deidara shouted at Tobi.
"Well sucks for you, doesn't it?" he said, and plopped though his eyehole.
"Owww!" he screeched, "I got wasabi in my eye!"
"Well sucks for you, doesn't it?" said Deidara, as he laughed at his partners plight.
"Remind me again why we came to an oriental restraunt when we're in Italy?" said Sasori.
"Don't look at me." said Kakuzu, "Konan said she didn't want to eat Italian food, said it was 'fatty and bread-centered'?"
"Well," said Sasori, "Why did we come to Italy if we're not going to eat Italian food!"
"I agree," said Kisame, "The sushi was much better back in Japan."
"That's what happens when you try to get good food halfway across the earth." said Pain, "It will
always be a cheap imitation."
"Pain," said Kakuzu, "it was your idea to come here, so I don't want to here any complaining, ya'hear?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I understand." said Pain.
"Alrighty then!" said Itachi, "Let's go shopping!"
"You can go on your own." said Sasori, "Me and Deidara are going to the Rennasciance(?) Museum, right Deidara?"
"Right!" he said.
"Eew." said Tobi, "Do you mean like a date?"
"Shut up Tobi!" screamed Deidara, "I'm a guy! how many times do I have to tell you?Hmn!"
"Yeah, whatever." he said, "Sasori and Deidara, sittin in a tree, F-U-C-..."
"Tobi!" shouted Konan, "I will not tolerate any horrid language from an Akatsuki member, and that is final!"
"Yes, Mom." he said sarcastically, probebly sticking his tongue out. (It's hard to tell with the mask.)
Meanwhile, Kisame was sneaking out onto the docks with Zetsu. "Finally, we're alone." he said.
"So what do you want to do?" asked Zetsu.
"Oh, I don't know." Kisame said, leaning closer to Zetsu, "How about you and I..." Boom! Crash! "What the hell was that!?!" Kisame shouted, surprised by the sound.
"It looks like a parade." said Zetsu
"What kind?"
"I think it's a gay parade."
"Grrr..." growled Kisame, "Lousy homos."
"Ahaha!" Itachi giggled, ,"It's like I'm invisible to them!" Although he wasn't invisible in any sense of the word, considering he was the queen of the gay parade and sitting on the throne float in a long, flowing, silk dress. "I ought to send Sasuke a post card about this... Oh wait, he's trying to kill me, deedeedee." And he prattled on, unaware of his snake-like stalker.
Snap! "Score!" Orochimaru said, "I am so gonna make a killing off of this picture on eBay."
While every one was having fun *cough cough* at the parade, the Renasciance Museum was not the peaceful and enjoyable experiance one would hope it would be...
"You call this art!" shouted Deidara, "This is nothing but a bunch of lifeless statues! They don't even move!"
"But," said the museum director, attempting to quell Deidara's rage, "Art isn't supposed to move."
"Are you crazy?" Deidara shreiked, "Yes it is! After all, art is a bang!" And he threw thousands of little clay figures into the exhibits, wreaking havoc and destruction onto all.
"Finally!" said Sasori, "I think I'm finally starting to appreciate Deidara's 'art' *snicker snicker*."
"Oh, Deidara," said Pain, "I think I'm falling in love."
"But Pain!" Konan said in horror, "He's a boy!"
Pain turned his head slowly and looked her straight in the eye with a terrifying glare, "I know."
"B-but," said Konan, tears coming to her eyes, "I don't want you to leave me!" The walls shook and the ceiling crashed all around them, but neither said a word, even after the entire building had been evacuated of everyone but the hysterical Deidara. But finally, Pain spoke, "My Japanese name...... is Pein."
~~The End~~
[Reviews - 3]
Table of Contents
- Text Size +
Story notes: 0.0
Chapter notes: This is what happens when you answer a challenge. All hell breaks loose. Oh well, I might as well just keep typing like a good little author.
I do not own anything in the below story. Not kunai knives, and not the salad for cannibals.
Chapter end notes: Italy in ruins, snake men becoming rich off of eBay, this is why the Akatsuki should never go on vacation.