“Hi, this is Ino. I can’t answer your call right now, so leave a message, and I’ll get back to you…”
Shikamaru hang up. Nervously he chewed on his lower lip, contemplating his decision.
It had been almost two years since the day she walked out of his life- a year and nine months to the day, to be exact. Memories still resurfaced now and then.
He sighed. He wasn’t supposed to be doing this. It had been over ever since the moment she went out the door with no intentions of coming back, her engagement ring left on the dinner table. No matter how much he still thought about her, he shouldn’t be calling her. It was a thing of the past- revisiting the pain was not a wise thing to do.
Besides, the blonde probably didn’t care about him anymore.
Still, he thought about her. Maybe she did.
Maybe this decision was a mistake
You probably don’t care what I have to say
But it’s been heavy on my mind for months now
Guess I’m trying to clear some mental space…
Before everything, all the kisses and promises, all the pain and heartbreak, they were friends. Ever since they broke up, they hadn’t talked to each other, never mind meet.
‘I should get in touch. That’s what’s a friend’s supposed to do, right?’
Shikamaru tried to reason with himself, invent an excuse for calling his ex.
It offered no comfort. It went against his good judgment. She was engaged to someone else now.
But the question lingered in his mind.
I would love to talk to you in person
But I understand why that can’t be
I’ll leave you alone for good I promise
If you answer this one question for me…
No wonder people say love made men fools.
Shikamaru flipped his phone again, dialing her number.
‘Just this one call. After that, no more.’
Somewhere, deep inside, he knew he was lying.
“Hi, this is Ino. I can’t answer your call right now…”
She wasn’t picking up. But he had to ask her.
I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore, do you?
“Hey Ino. It’s Shikamaru. I need to talk to you about something. Just call me back on this number…”
Now he’d have to wait and see. If she didn’t call back, that meant she didn’t care about him anymore. His question would be put to rest.
His phone rang. It was her.
“Shikamaru?”
First off let me say congratulations
Heard that you just had a baby girl
If she looks anything like her mother,
She’s the prettiest thing in the world.
“Hey Ino. Just called to see what’s going on. How are you?” Shikamaru’s voice sounded from the other end.
“I… I’m okay. How are you?” Ino replied, speaking in the most even tone she could muster.
To be honest, she felt deeply uncertain. She’d suffered a serious breakdown after their breakup. For weeks, nothing went right for her. She felt empty. It had taken her some time before she left it all behind her.
“Just fine. Heard about the baby. Knowing you, I’m sure she’s really cute.”
“She’s beautiful, Shikamaru… Thank you.”
It was… good to hear his voice. They hadn’t talked in ages; somehow, she still missed it from time to time. But she knew that this wasn’t supposed to be.
“Shikamaru… why are you calling me?”
Swear that I'm not trying to start no trouble
Tell your fiancé he can relax
I’ll leave you alone for good I promise
There’s a question I just got to ask…
Shikamaru had no reply. Should he go through with this? Maybe she’d just called back as a matter of courtesy, and was about to tell him off.
“Look, I’m not trying to make trouble.” He stated defensively after a pause. “If Kankurou finds out, tell him I’ve got another girl now, and he can relax.”
“It’s okay, Shikamaru… he’s out doing laundry.”
“Oh…” He sighed. “… I see.”
“Do you really have a new girlfriend?”
“…No.”
He couldn’t lie to her. “I’m single right now. Haven’t been able to stick with a girl… the longest I lasted was about six months.”
I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore, do you?
“Oh…” Ino muttered.
It was a shame, really. A girl would be lucky to have a kind guy like Shikamaru, even if he could be lazy and inattentive at times.
“So… how’s Kankurou treating you?”
“He’s really nice.” She answered. “We argue sometimes, but he won’t treat me wrong.”
“Hmm… That’s nice to hear.”
Ino could find nothing to say. Whether it was because of the cold weather, or some hidden sentiment inside her, she felt herself trembling.
“Listen, Ino, I’ve got a question to ask…”
“Yes…?” She replied.
She fervently hoped that he wouldn’t ask anything sensitive. If it wasn’t for her decision, she’d be with him right now, a different ring on her finger.
She still thought about him. But she would never tell him that.
I know what we have is dead and gone.
Too many times I made you cry.
And I don’t mean to interrupt your life.
I just wonder do I ever cross your mind?
“Do you… still think about me?”
Ino didn’t answer. The deafening silence turned awkward, then oppressive.
Shikamaru heard her sigh; he felt guilty. Maybe she still held things against him.
“Look, Ino, I’m really, really sorry.” He started. “For all the pain. For all the tears, all the times I couldn’t pay attention to you. All the parties and get-togethers I couldn’t attend. All the fights…”
I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore, do you?
“… all the lies, all the times I couldn’t come home early enough. I’m sorry for everything, Ino. I know it’s over, and I can’t get it back. I promise you, this is the last time I’ll ever bother you again. Just answer me, Ino… do you still think about me?”
Ino remained silent. How could she answer that?
She deeply regretted calling him back. She wished she could hate him enough that she’d still be mad at him. But she just couldn’t.
He had no idea how he tormented her. For her life, she would never admit it… but her feelings for him still ran deep, deeper than she'd thought.
I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore, do you?
“Ino, please. Just give me an answer.”
Shikamaru waited. Every second became longer and longer… he felt as if he aged ten years in a matter of minutes. Why wasn’t she talking to him?
“Shikamaru… should I tell you the truth? Or would you be happier with a lie?”
“Just… talk to me, Ino. No matter what it is, I’ll take it.”
I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore, do you?
“…Yes.”
Oh, how could she lie to him? The lie would have been just as painful to him as the truth was to her.
For a long time, Shikamaru remained silent.
“R… really?” He finally answered.
“Yes. I still think about you, Shikamaru. No matter how hard I try to erase you from my mind, I can’t.” She confessed, pouring her heart out. “Shikamaru, I love Kankurou. He’s a good guy. But I’m not over you. You’re like a sickness, Shikamaru… a sickness with no cure.”
Shikamaru sighed. “… You know it couldn’t have worked out, Ino. That’s why we fell apart. Even if we could’ve started again, I don’t think I could’ve done you right. You belong to someone else now- and I can’t ever think of stealing you from him.”
“Yeah…” Ino nodded slowly. “I can’t take my baby girl away from Kankurou. He loves her, and me. And I’m not that cruel.”
“Well, I guess this is goodbye. After this, we’ll never be like that, ever again.”
“Don’t be sad, Shikamaru. You’ll find someone so much better than me.” She tried to comfort him.
“It was good to be with you, Ino. Be happy with Kankurou.”
Ino heard him hanging up. As quickly as he had returned, he had gone again. Somehow, she felt relieved… she didn’t feel so confused about him anymore.
More and more, her confidence came back to her. They would be a happy family, her, Kankurou, and their daughter Asuka.
Still, she’d always remember Shikamaru fondly, as a good friend, and onetime lover.
----------
Shikamaru pocketed his phone. This was the end. The conclusion to his first true love. Like all endings, it would be a new beginning.
But where would the road lead him? He had no idea. More than before, he felt alone.
Well, the only choice was to keep on going. Tomorrow would always bring something new. Ino was behind him now; who knows, they might still be friends. But he could figure that out later.
Lying down on his bed, he closed his eyes.
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Chapter notes: Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or the song I'm using.
Whew. It was really tough writing this one. I'd planned this for a long time, but just didn't have the time to write it. I hope you enjoy it... I apologize if this is a little substandard; just took too long to get everything organized and such.
Since this is a sequel to Tired of Tears, some things in this story may not make sense if you haven't checked out that one. Therefore, I suggest that you read Tired of Tears before you read this songfic.
The song used here is "Do You" by Ne-Yo, which was written as a sequel song to "So Sick". I highly recommend both songs- if you have time, check them out, if you like.
I should get to work on my homework soon, or I'll be in some serious mess tomorrow.
As always, feedback would be highly appreciated.