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Help Sasuke? by A Vampires Butterfly

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Chapter notes: I do not own any of these character! I'm merely a person who wishes to help poor Sasu-chan out.
Hello Everyone! My name is De’Shadrian, but you may call me Shadra (Say-dra, I know it’s weird. It’s a nickname for crying outloud.) for short. It’s my first try on this but hey, gotta help Sasuke out a bit. Violet was right before she quit. He is always being tortured!


O.k. Violet said we should find someone else like Gaara, Neji, or Shino because they are so alike. I say let’s turn our attention to the other people who we find annoying.

“Hn. I’m starting to not hate you already.”

I’ll take that as a complement since it is coming from the one of the world’s greatest bastards. Anyways lets get started with the first one.

Kiba


Look at the guy! He practically screams I’m annoying. Literally! He’s always talking just as loud as Naruto and is just as proud and arrogant sometimes. Remember when he and Naruto fought in the exams? Yeah, he went on and on about how Naruto wasn’t good enough to be Hokage and everything. Plus he’s always got that dog of his with him. Not that I really care about that, I mean, I love dogs as much as the next person and Akamaru is just the way past cutest thing and. . .

“You’re getting off subject.”

Oh! Yeah! Sorry, anyways the point is that I’m sure because of that he always smells like dog. Sure that may not be bad to many of you, but have you ever stopped to think about how that would look to him after a while? Some people may not be too keen on that.

Not good enough? Fine then, uh, how about.

Choji! Yeah!

Look at him! He’s always eating and complaining about how he’s tired. That can seriously get in the way when you’re on a mission. Think about it. I’m sure Itachi and Orochimaru would love to have a little butterball for a playmate instead of skinny pale Sasuke. He could be like the new Pillsbury doughboy! They can find all the places on his body to make him laugh, or any other interesting sounds.

“. . . .”

What? Just throwing it in.

“. . . .”

Oh, come on! When have you never made fun of anyone being slightly overweight? Besides it was just a little joke. It’s not like he’s gonna get mad at me over it. But he could like he did that time he was called “fat” and. . .

“You’re getting off again.”

Oh! I see that wasn’t good enough either. I still have more!


Shikamaru! Yeah!

We all know he’s a freakin’ genius. But what if even he wasn’t smart enough to get away from Itachi or Orochimaru? Think about it, those two are pretty good. Shikamaru could be up against his match, or a wall depending on what they do to him.

“Pervert.”

Hey, I can’t help it! I read fanfiction. Anyways. Shikamaru is always talking about how everything is so “troublesome” and never wants to do anything but look at the clouds! It you were to look at it this way, he almost makes it look like he’s better than everyone. Just sits there with his always bored expression like he’s too good to be around everyone else and has a high IQ but too lazy to but it into actual use most of the time. I mean seriously if I had an IQ of 200. I’d find every way possible to make my life so much easier. I wouldn’t have to study for tests because I’d be smarter than the professors and. . .

“I will not warn you again.”

Wait! I have one more! I’m sorry!

Lee!

Yeah, of course Lee would be one of the annoying ones! Just LOOK at him!

What’s with all the green? Seriously is that really necessary? Plus there’s those eyebrows of his, not to mention that haircut. He’s like a Gai-sensei miniature! I think he’s like obsessed with the man or something. And all he talks about is youth and training. He is also always pushing himself and punishing himself with extreme challenges for not getting something done. Someone should knock some sense into that boy and seriously give him a make over! The boy needs help! It shouldn’t be that hard to do so! I bet if you made him wear anything beside green spandex of his he’d have a hard attack, or past out from shock if you told him that youth was overrated or something. LOL! Or even. . .

What? Can’t I have fun while I do this?


“Hn.”

Anyways, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. I bet Lee would be fine after a few training sessions with someone like . . .not like him in general helping him. Al it takes is a relaxed opposite to help him out. Think about it. Lee never stops talking, Itachi hardly ever does. Lee is loud and enjoys spreading his “youthfulness” to others. Orochimaru is sort of soft spoken and enjoys spreading curses. See? Hand and Hand. Like Sasuke and Naruto.

“What?”

Yeah! You two were like made for each other! You’re almost the same but different. Same past almost. Grew up alone and all that. But You like to be alone and Naruto wants others to except him. You look like you could live in the middle of night with all that black and blue and Naruto is just the meaning of daytime. With his sunshine hair and those pretty baby blue eyes of his and that loud orange outfit. It’s just natural Night and Day, light and dark, Sasuke and Naruto. Once these fanfiction writers lay off you, you will be free to fuck Naruto all you want and won’t have to break it into your schedule like you did this morning.

“WHAT?!”

Hey, don’t get mad at me. I told you that I was going to be here at 3:30 and sure I was late by like 5 minutes, but you couldn’t even wait that long ya impatient bastard! I didn’t want to say anything because you two sounded like you were enjoying youselves very much. So I just waited down the hall. Though that didn’t help considering all the noise Naruto was making. I didn’t even think he could get any louder. You sure helped him prove me wrong. Bravo, Sasuke!

“You were listening?! What kind of sick freak are you?”

Hey! Freak I may be but sick? That’s where I draw the line! I’m not helping you anymore! And I just might start writing stories and, and, make the first chapter about how you walked in on your parents and then watch Itachi kill them and then him and Orochimaru rape you!

“That is sick.”

Never bite the hand that feeds you. Or in your case, the hands that can control your fate. Good luck getting the memories out of your head. You have been warn and do expect it!

“Great. First, Violet and now Shadra. I’m really in a mess. Not only do I have to find someone else to help me, but both of those girls are going to write crazy chapters about me. Is there someone else out there who can help me?”
Chapter end notes: I really hope you enjoyed this. Please let me know what you think. Nice things only for now! Remeber, I'm a beginner. See ya soon!
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