My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
Sasuke stares at his swirling brown tea dully. It’s just another Monday at Orochimaru’s lair. He could care less what time it was. He barely understands what today is at all. He doesn’t even want to be awake right now. No, at least in his dreams he knows exactly what he wants and why. But when he wakes up….
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
Sighing, Sasuke dumps his cold tea, not even taking a sip out of it. He looks out his kitchen window, seeing dark rain clouds looming over the grounds. The perfect day for Orochimaru, but rain just brought too many memories for Sasuke. All of them bad. He runs a hand through his onyx hair, sighing again.
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad
He turns to look around for his big purple bow, since Orochimaru loves when he wears it and sees the cracked, faded, and torn picture of Naruto he had taken with him that fateful night so long ago. It makes him feel even worse. Reminding him of times when life had been so much simpler. Better times. Times of love and laughter.
He picks the picture up and makes another crack in the already shattered glass, remembering it was him who brought an end to those days.
I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
He looks around for those reports he has to give to Orochimaru, holding his head as he looks before just leaning against a doorway. He had gone drinking with Orochimaru last night, only remembering the drinking part, how he got back to his room, and what happened before hand is a total blur to him. He isn’t sure he wants to know what Orochimaru did to him, some how feeling he deserves worse then the molesting snake.
He knows that the small table next to him has a stack of white envelopes all bills from Orochimaru, but none with money prices. No, these bills tell him he has to pay for it in other ways. He grimaces at the almost glowing papers in the dim room and keeps looking for the reports, not letting himself get some pills for his pounding head. He deserves it for one reason or another.
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
Sasuke closes his eyes as he passes a clock and just rushes out the door, unable to think through his headache. All he knows is that he is late and Orochimaru will add another bill to his already large stack if he misses another appointment with him. He sighs as he walks through the dark road to Orochimaru’s building, rain pattering down on his head and mud sinking beneath his feet. He is so late and repeats this statement to himself with every step he takes. But when he takes the next step he tells himself.
He deserves this.
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
He finally arrives in Orochimaru’s big building, where everyone else comes to work for the snake, practicing their attacks. He is soaking wet, making small puddles with every step he takes. But he doesn’t care. He deserves to be wet. He walks along the plush purple carpet, down the hallway towards Orochimaru’s special bedroom. He hears the whispers and feels the looks he receives.
They all know he is late. They know that Orochimaru is getting tired of his crap. They know that no matter how pretty and precious his body is to Orochimaru that it isn’t worth it if he keeps up his defiance. But again he doesn’t care. Let Orochimaru kick him out. He has barely been learning from the snake anyway. He has actually been thinking how much stronger he is than Orochimaru. Sannin or not.
He goes into Orochimaru’s room, only to see a note on the bed.
“Don’t come back.”
And he leaves, whispers following his back, the note left on the bed.
He doesn’t look back.
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad and
Walking down the dark road from Orochimaru’s building to his small house he tries to think. Where does he go now? Should he still go after Itachi? Was it worth it anymore? Could he…no. That wasn’t a possibility. He glares at the sinking mud and freezing rain and walks, purple bow bouncing annoyingly with each movement he makes.
His thoughts start to be occupied with the one thing, no one person that has been haunting him ever since he left. That blond hair. Those damn blue eyes. That stupid grin that lit up his whole, kind of cute whiskered face. He sighs, realizing he hasn’t seen that grin in a long, long time. He wonders if the blond would grin if he saw him like this. Purple bow bouncing over his butt, long white sleeves soaking wet and dragging in the mud, onyx hair flopping into his eyes and sticking to his face? Would he grin and laugh? Calling him a drowned bastard? Would thing go back to normal? Could things ever go back to normal? After what he did?
Sasuke suddenly feels like drowning himself in the mud.
I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life
Sasuke keeps walking, remembering what he would always think of as the best days of his pathetic life. The first day he had met Naruto. That clumsy idiot. Starting their big ‘rivalry’ off with stealing his first kiss. Sasuke still remembered how it felt to feel those slightly rough lips against his own. But he had an image to uphold. He couldn’t have been caught actually enjoying being kissed by the class fool. The dobe. Number one loser. It wouldn’t have looked good for the last Uchiha. No, not at all. Yet, the taste always lingered on his lips, making him lick them subconsciously whenever he saw the blond. It had always given him a odd sense of pride to know he had taken the idiot’s first kiss. On lonely nights on his big bed he would try to get the taste back to his lips, try to find anything he might have missed. But soon the taste was gone. And he had craved another taste ever since.
And then there that boy, Haku, who had tried to kill both him and Naruto. It had been the idiot’s fault in the first place, he had had a perfect plan to defeat the needle throwing ice ninja, if Naruto had just stayed outside the mirrors, but of course, him being the knuckleheaded blond he had fallen in love with, though he hadn’t known that at the time, had snuck in, promising to help him from the inside. Sasuke wasn’t sure what had made him jump in front of the dobe, protecting him from the many deadly needles, but he did and saved the idiot. But of course no good deed goes unpunished and he had to deal with Sakura crying all over him and Naruto bragging that he had beat Haku, which made him have to point out that actually Kakashi did, but still….he would have done it again and again if he had to. He had wanted to protect Naruto. With his very life if he had to. And it was thanks to him the idiot was still in this world. Then again….
It was also thanks to him that he had made the idiot’s world a living hell hole, filled with chasing and crying.
Sasuke sighs, looking up at the rain, remembering that last beam of his life. The battle had been over; Naruto lay unconscious as his feet. He could have easily killed him, but…he couldn’t….he didn’t. He had merely watched as the remaining light faded, passing over him quickly, leaving him in darkness as if he didn’t deserve the light and…he didn’t. He watched as the light faded so slowly shining down on Naruto’s scarred face, giving it a holy shine to it. It had faded till it was nothing more than a tiny circle in the middle of his forehead and then it had broke off, as if a thin string of light had been cut away, as if Naruto had lost his right to the light. Sasuke had always wondered if maybe….he had been the one who cut the string of light that day. If he had been the one who made the blond unworthy of the light. He never answered himself though. Really, it was gravity and fate that answered it for him. Telling him whether or not he was making the right choice.
The sound of cloth coming undone and then the clatter of metal to the ground before the rain started to pour down onto him.
He had chosen to ignore whatever message fate was sending him and left behind his village, his life, and his love.
Sasuke closes his eyes slowly before opening them again, guilt washing over him in waves before he finally reaches his house and opens the door.
Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Sasuke pushed open the door, finding it unlocked. He frowns, trying to remember if he locked it or not. He can’t remember and doesn’t care. It isn’t like he has anything worth value to anybody trying to rob him. Besides, it’s not like he has any reason to fear the stray ninja or robber or whatever the person might be. He is being trained under one of the legendary Sannin. Or…he had been training under one of the legendary Sannin.
He sighs, finding his life to be a total loss. Here he was, a traitor, someone who betrayed everything and everyone he had ever known for some bastard snake that had just told him to never come back. Here he was, an avenger, someone who had spent their whole life dreaming of killing just one person for revenge and now feeling like that person wasn’t even worth killing, revenge did get old after awhile and he had killed so many already that the thrill was long gone. Here he was, a man, someone who had once had everything, fangirls, no matter how much he hated them, money, friends, and the love his life and now had nothing but an empty house and longing, guilt filled memories.
He looks around at said house, lost in said memories, rain water dripping off of him and creating a small, cold puddle at his feet. He looks in disgust at himself and goes to take a hot shower then go to sleep. Maybe he wouldn’t dream tonight.
He opens the door to his bathroom and hears something he thought he would never hear again.
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And he is just there. Standing in the middle of Sasuke’s bathroom, grinning like he just won the lottery. Sasuke looks at him, speechless. What is he supposed to say? Does he play it cool and pretend like he hasn’t been feeling like a suicidal guilty jerk for the past couples months? That he wasn’t just fired and thinking about just giving up? That he thinks he should just go stand in the rain, looking up at it until he either sinks into the mud where he belongs or drowns himself in the rain? Or does he just hold onto the blond and beg him to bring him home and forgive him for being just a…a…traitor?
“Hey dobe.” He is an Uchiha after all.
“I’m bringing your pale wet ass home, bastard. Whether you like it or not. I’m willing to do anything, even restrain you, break your legs, anything, Sasuke.” He says, grin gone, glaring at him with those blue eyes, eyes that Sasuke had always thought would always be innocent, always be bright, always look at him with the same stubbornness they always did. But…now he looks in them and only sees dull, broken, and tainted eyes. The eyes of someone who has lost everything he ever had. He wonders if his eyes are the same. And he wonders if he was the one who made them that way. But he knows…
Of course it was him.
Except….he is sure that his eyes could never hold that much loneliness, that much defiance, that much….determination. And he wonders…
Will he finally bring him home?
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and
Sasuke only gives him an emotionless stare, when inside he wants to get down on his knees and beg the blond for forgiveness, not that he deserves it. Inside he is so happy, yet ashamed that Naruto actually found him. On the inside nothing else seems to matter to him except for the so called dobe and if he will actually forgive his horrible and stupid mistake from so long ago. On the inside he isn’t sure if he is asleep and this is just a wonderful dream and he will soon wake next to the pale bastard snake sleeping beside him. But on the outside….
He keeps staring before clearing his throat and saying,
“Do you even want me home, dobe?” he needs to know this. He doesn’t care if it makes him sound weak. He is weak. He is a pathetic weakling. And he needs to know if there is even a small chance that Naruto could even stand to actually let a stupid traitor like him back into his life. Could everything actually, maybe someday go back to normal? Or would he screw it up once more? Could he ever be really accepted back by everyone?
Was it even possible?
“Of course, you bastard! Why else would I have spent all these years chasing your stupid ass, plus almost die because of you?! And you called me dumb….Now are you coming back or do I have to break your legs and tie you to my back?”
And then he knows.
He has always known, really.
He knows…he just wants to go home.
I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
Sasuke nods to Naruto and walks towards him, wanting to hug him, to kiss, to thank him for bringing him back, for never giving up. For forgiving him. But he merely holds out his hand and says.
“Fine, Naruto. I’m ready to go home.” He says and smiles for the first time in a long time. Naruto smiles back, eyes brightening, not to their normal wonderful shine, but it’s a start and it makes Sasuke feel lighter and happier. Naruto drags him out into the rain, not that Sasuke notices, he finally has his sun back after all. And he knows as he finally goes back home, back to a place where so many mistakes and nightmares lie, that even though he may have a lot of people to apologize to he had made a good start.
And that this may be the best day of his life.
Because Naruto was finally bringing him home.
Is having the best day of my life
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Chapter notes: Hi....Okay. So yeah....I'm just horrible! I can't deny it any longer....I am just a horrible, horrible person....I am giving you guys a one shot songfic when I should be handing out a new chapter! I know...I know...it haunts me every day...I hope you all can forgive me. Oh and I hope you guys like this breather, something besides the newbie work covering the Most Recent page....*sighs* Some of my best reviewers have been chased away because of that... Though...I know this is far from my best work. I hope you can frogive me for that too...Anyway! Enjoy! This song is Thank You by Dido. Beautiful song really. With much love, A Vampires Butterfly ^.^