“Here’s the room.” Shikamaru unlocked the hotel room door, holding it open for Temari as she entered, handing her the key all the while.
“Thanks.” Temari smiled, walking to the bed to put her fan down against it.
‘This is it, Shikamaru. If you’re going to tell her, now is the time.’ Shikamaru thought. However, there was no denying that he still felt unsure about this.
He closed the door behind him as softly as he could. Temari turned around.
“What is it, Shikamaru?” She asked.
“Listen, we need to talk…” Shikamaru started.
“What is it? I’m sorry, but can’t it wait until tomorrow? I’m really tired.”
Shikamaru sat down on the end of the bed. He let out a sigh.
“Listen, I really need to get this off my chest…” He motioned for Temari to sit on the bed. “Sit here. This shouldn’t take long.”
Outside, the rain that had started 2 days ago continued to fall, pattering onto the hotel room window. The only light inside the room was the lamp on the nightstand beside the bed. The shades hadn’t been drawn yet, and so light from the street lamps were cast through the window to project a distorted pattern caused by raindrops sliding down the glass.
Baby come here and sit down, let’s talk
I got a lot to say so I guess I’ll start by
Saying that I love you,
But you know, this thing ain’t been no walk in the park for us…
“Look, I love you, Temari…” Shikamaru started again.
“I love you too.” Temari replied. However, when she looked into his eyes, and saw his almost desperate gaze, she realized something was wrong. Even though she didn’t show it, fear began to emanate from the depth of her being.
I swear it’ll only take a minute
You’ll understand when I finish, yeah
And I don’t wanna see you cry
But I don’t wanna be the one to tell you a lie so
‘It’s nothing serious.’ Temari reasoned. However, her intuition spoke much louder than reason that night. Before she could stop it, she felt a lump grow in her throat.
“Temari, I won’t lie to you…” Shikamaru tried to continue. For perhaps the first time in his life, though, he found himself at a loss of words.
How do you let it go? When you,
You just don’t know, what’s on,
The other side of the door
When you’re walking out, talk about it
Shikamaru still felt hesitant about the whole thing. He’d never taken this kind of risk before. Could he chance this? He didn’t like to count on his luck alone, but he had to now.
The tension became unbearable for Temari. What was he going to say? Deep down, she had a good idea what it was, but at the same time she hoped with all her being that that wasn’t what it was going to be. She could only keep looking at Shikamaru.
Everything I tried to remember to say
Just went out my head
So I’ma do the best I can to get you to understand
’Cause I know…
“I… I…” Shikamaru was stammering. He was getting nervous, and even though he didn’t like it, he couldn’t stop it. Finding himself unable to meet Temari’s gaze, he looked down. No matter how much he’d try, there’d be no way for him to lessen this shock.
Temari knew. She just knew. There was no way it could be anything else than what she feared it was. She tried her best to control herself, but her body would not obey her command. Tears began to well up in her eyes even before the words came.
“I think we should break up…”
There’s never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
’Cause if I don’t you gonna start hating me
’Cause I really don’t feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it’s not you, it’s me, I
Gotta, gotta figure out what I need, oh
There’s never a right time to say goodbye
But we know, that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it’s hard, but I gotta do it,
And it’s killing me
’Cause it’s never a right time,
Right time to say goodbye…
Temari was a strong woman. There was no denying that. However, even the greatest of heroes are fools when it comes to love. She did her best to suppress her emotions, but her lips were trembling. Her vision became blurred as her tears threatened to fall.
“Don’t hate me for this, Temari…” Shikamaru couldn’t look up. He could see her hand, and it was shaking as she balled it into a fist, grasping her robe within her hands.
But now your heart is breaking,
And a thousand times I
Found myself asking, “Why? Why?
Why am I taking so long to say this?”
‘Dang it!’ Shikamaru thought. ‘Why can’t I say it and get this over with?’
“Look... I loved the time we spent together. But…” His words became caught in his throat before they could form. Why did this have to be so hard?
But trust me, girl I never
Meant to crush your world
And I never
Thought I would see the day we grew apart
And I wanna know
“I never thought I’d say this…” Shikamaru admitted.
Before he knew what he was doing, his hand had reached out to Temari’s. He almost feared that she would draw back, and move away from him.
She didn’t move. He took her hand in his, and she held on as strongly as she could. Shikamaru gripped back, finally finding enough courage to look into her eyes.
How do you let it go? When you,
You just don't know, what's on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Girl I hope you understand
What I’m try to say,
We just can't go on
Pretending that we get along
Girl how you not gonna see it? Oh…
“Temari,” Shikamaru spoke, “what I mean is… I… we can’t keep doing this. We can’t even see each other a lot. I love you, but we’re too far apart for that. You… you deserve better than me, Temari. You need someone you can count on to be there when you need him. And I can’t be that guy.”
“I understand.” Temari got enough control over herself to speak. Maybe she didn’t understand completely, but she tried. Shikamaru was right. They were too far apart to be carrying on such a committed relationship. Even though her reason could never overwhelm her feelings for the shadow-user, she knew- their ways parted here, tonight.
There’s never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
’Cause if I don’t you gonna start hating me
’Cause I really don’t feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it’s not you, it’s me, I
Gotta, gotta figure out what I need, oh
There’s never a right time to say goodbye
But we know, that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it’s hard, but I gotta do it,
And it’s killing me
’Cause it’s never a right time,
Right time to say goodbye…
“So… it’s over?” Temari wanted that final confirmation from the mouth of her first love, the mouth whose kiss she would never forget.
“I guess…” Shikamaru sighed. “It’s over, Temari.”
Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can’t do it
I, I just can't do it
Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can’t do it
And sometimes it makes me wanna cry
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh (Do you hear me crying?)
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh (Oh)
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh (Oh, oh)
(There’s never a right time…)
Temari closed her eyes, and bit her lips. She would not break down. Not tonight.
Shikamaru drew her close, and hugged her. Temari shuddered as she kept her sobs from escaping her. Shikamaru gave her a light kiss upon her cheek, and she returned it. They hugged each other tightly for what they knew to be the last time.
There’s never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
’Cause if I don’t you gonna start hating me
’Cause I really don’t feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it’s not you, it’s me, I
Gotta, gotta figure out what I need, oh
There’s never a right time to say goodbye
But we know, that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it’s hard, but I gotta do it,
And it’s killing me
’Cause it’s never a right time,
Right time to say goodbye…
Shikamaru let her go. Standing up, he walked over to the door, head hung low. As he was about to leave, he turned around.
“Goodbye, Temari.”
“Goodbye… Shikamaru.”
Walking into the hallway, Shikamaru drew out his pack of cigarettes. There was only one left, and if he had his way, it would be his last one. Putting it to his mouth, he lit it, and took a long drag as he walked out of the hotel. Looking up at the sky, he let the raindrops fall onto his face. He’d always liked the rain- it concealed the rare tears that he would let fall from his eyes. He’ll miss the tobacco- no more of the excuse that it made his eyes water. Blowing out a column of smoke into the air, he started on his long walk home.
There’s never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
’Cause if I don’t you gonna start hating me
’Cause I really don’t feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it’s not you, it’s me, I
Gotta, gotta figure out what I need, oh
There’s never a right time to say goodbye
But we know, that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it’s hard, but I gotta do it,
And it’s killing me
’Cause it’s never a right time,
Right time to say goodbye…
Temari lay in the bed, her eyes facing the window. She never did like humid climates. However, tonight, she was glad it was raining. It was as if the sky was crying. She would have transferred all her sorrow into the rain if she could. But that was not possible. She still held on, not letting any of her sentiments show, even though there was no one to see her, no one to hear her. She’d promised to herself long ago she would never cry again.
However, soon she realized she could keep that promise no longer. She shook as her long-suppressed sobs let themselves out, and tears streamed out of the corner of her eyes. Burying her face in the pillow, she cried herself to sleep.
[Reviews - 8]
Table of Contents
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Chapter notes: Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or the song I'm using here.
This goes along with the ShikaIno one-shot letter stories milliexchan and I have been posting. They are (in chronological order): In the Shadows (me), Amongst Clouds (Millie), Rain and Smoke (me), and Something Beautiful (Millie). If you want to figure out what's going on, and you have time, check those out if you like.
This is my first songfic. The song is "Say Goodbye" by Chris Brown. As always, comments, feedback, criticism, and such are welcome.
I send out my thanks to milliexchan, for writing those awesome responses to my one-shot letters. I also would like to thank Archaic Aphorism for teaching me how to use the HTML tags.
Enjoy!