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Learn To Be Lonely by A Vampires Butterfly

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Chapter notes: Hi there! Long time no see. At least that's what it feels like to me. I have been so freaking busy with regular life I have barely had time for my dear, dear laptop. *sighs* But I managed to produce this for some unknown reason. I love the song, which is Learn To Be Lonely from the Phantom of the Opera by Emmy Rossum. Beautiful song really. Anyway! Enjoy! With much love, A Vampires Butterfly ^.^
Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness


He was born alone. With nobody to care for him. He was a murderer from his very birth. He had killed millions of people before he was even born. At least that is what he is told. He was born a child of blood. Of sacrifice. Of tears. Of lives lost. He was nothing but a horrible demon. A filthy murderer. From the time he was born. And because of that he was born alone, destined to stay alone.

Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness


He grew slowly, alone and unwanted by everyone, ignored and hated by everyone. Nobody could ever love something as horrible, something as ugly, something as evil, as him. But he learned to deal with the glares, the hatred. He didn’t know why he was so hated. Why he was so alone. Why he was so evil. But he was. He was alone and he lived with it. He lived with his loneliness for years. He never cried. He never showed weakness. He stayed in the darkness and cried. He stayed in the shadows and wept. He went into the daylight and smiled.

Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you


No one was ever there for him. For years. For years no one showed him any kindness. No one cared about him. No one dare show the demon any compassion. Any love. The word itself was only used to mock him. To remind him how he would never be able to know how it felt to feel like that. Everyone was against him. He knew that. He had known since the first time someone had not talked back when he had tried talking to them. Known when he had first tried to gain some attention for doing something good. He had known since the first time someone had looked at him. No one was ever going to care for him. No one was ever going to comfort him. No one was ever going to love him.

Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion


He was alone. How many times could he feel this? Every time he stepped outside. Every time he saw the world, the sky, breathed fresh air, and saw green grass he knew he was alone. That he would always be alone. That he was the only one that would ever be there for him. He could only ever rely on himself. He learned quickly there were ways to play catch by yourself. That tag didn’t need more than one person. That the swings were better when no one wanted to sit by you. He learned that fun and laughter could be heard from a lonely person. A person who was alone. But the sounds would always be hollow.

Never dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You’ve always known your heart was on its own


He never thought someone could ever, ever want to hold him or want him. He knew that if anyone ever said anything caring to him they never meant it. They were forced to by the Hokage. They were punished if they didn’t. That was why he never believed any thing that anyone said to him. No matter what they did he would always block out their words. Their actions. Because one way or another they would end in pain.

So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness


As he grew he started to hide his loneliness. He laughed and grinned. Always bright and loud. Always attention seeking. Always searching for that golden spotlight. He would laugh in his loneliness. He would smile in his loneliness. He would play the fool in his loneliness. No one ever caught on. No one ever thought the loud mouthed idiot class clown lived in darkness. No one ever thought he went home every night, never turning on the light, closed the door behind him, and cried in the shadows, wondering when it would all end. No, his supposed friends, father and mother figure, teachers, even the person that said they loved him, no they were all mocking him with words of compassion, with actions of love. They never guessed because they never cared. No one guessed how upset it made him when he actually started to believe the one person, the one person that might have actually cared about him, the one who said they loved him, the one who said that they would do anything for him. No one knew what he did the night that very same person ran away and never looked back.

Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone


So once again he was alone. He had always been alone really. No one cared about him. No one would ever care about him. No one ever tried to stop his tears. No one saw any tears he shed. No one ever tried to stop him when he trained till every single part of him hurt as much as his heart did. No one ever thought to go after to him when he ran so deep into the forest that no one would ever have to find him. No one would have to look at him again. No one would have to see the dirty murder. The one born of filth and sin. No one would have to glare as he walked by with his head hung. He would never have to grin when he felt like sobbing again. He would never have to hear the hollowness in ever single laugh he ever produced. If only he could stay in the darkness. Then he could just stay alone, alive, loved. By only himself.

Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived
Life can be loved


He was alone. Unimportant. Unloved. With only his unshed tears and memories of a time where he had really foolishly believed someone could love him. And he learned how to deal with the loneliness. Because there was nothing else he could do.

Alone
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