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Thoughts of You by Kaji

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Chapter notes: Enjoy! Just moved from my old account.
'Augh... STOP!' he thought, 'STOP!' on the outside, he remained cool and collected while hiding in the shadows... watching... and it killed him to do so. He couldn't stop it, thoughts and images appearing in his mind. He had worked all his life to control every aspect of himself, breathing, moving, sleeping, seeing, hearing, and thinking. But he couldn't stop, and it hurt him. His body finally started to show signs of the mental turmoil, his hands grabbed his hair and pulled, his knees bent and then he fell to the ground. 'FOCUS DAMNIT, FOCUS!' he kept telling himself, his job was to watch... and protect.... her.

By morning he was exhausted. He finally returned to sleep when the rest of the world was waking. Locked in his room, he couldn't stop himself from thinking... that. Even without her in sight, he couldn't stop.*knock knock* “Neji! Neji! The spring-time of youth waits for no one Neji-kun!” drammered a familiar voice, “Gai-sensei is training us today Neji-kun! Isn't it glorious!?” “Lee, I'm tired, please leave.” he replied flatly. “NEJI! Gai-sensei says it's important! You may stay, but I SHALL ANSWER THE CALL OF YOUTH! Farewell, Neji-kun!”

He slept, but it didn't stop... IT WON'T STOP!! 'HOW CAN I STOP THIS?!?' was mentally screamed by the sleep deprived guardian as he woke in a fit. 'WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?!' Images, coming and going, TORMENTING him in sleep and in wake. He leapt up and opened the door. He hadn't been asleep for yet an hour, and he wouldn't be able to. So, with rings under his pale violet eyes, he left to train with... Lee... and... oh god... Gai-sensei...

He walked through Konoha to the training grounds, almost jogged. “Alright!” he heard his voice, the voice of GAI-SENSEI! (in Lee terms) “Wait, Gai-sensei, I'm here.” “AH! Neji! Unable to resist the call of YOUTH?! I thought so!” “I apologize for being late.” god why...*Gai nice guy pose!* that was his way of saying o.k. “Since today is your first lesson as Chuunin, my lotus blossoms, I have something special for you!” “WHAT IS IT, GAI-SENSEI!??!” “LEE! I knew you would be anxious to know!” “Yes, Gai-sensei!” “Today I teach you...” “TELL US GAI-SENSEI!” “The POOF TRICK NO JUTSU!” after that, there was a general 'wtf?' though among Tenten and Neji. “But I can't do ninjutsu Gai-senei!” whined Lee, “No worries, I have a special variation for you Lee!” “THANK YOU GAI-SENSEI!” LEE!” GAI-SENSEI!” “LEE!” *disturbing studentXteacher hug*

So after hours of training, they all three mastered the disappearing technique that the many Jounin around Konoha had used about them for many years. “Good bye, GAI-SENSEI!” yelled Lee as he *poof* poofed into nothingness. “Farewell, sensei” as Neji *poof* poofed aswell. He was now back in the center of Konoha, not where he wanted to go, but, he was new at the jutsu. He walked through the streets, people looking at him. He was from the most prodigous family in Konoha, and he was a genius. People would look, but, he didn't care, it didn't affect him either way, he neither liked nor dis-liked people, just, didn't care, except for, well... her... and the thoughts returned as he saw people staring at him, as he saw the women look at him. 'AHHHHHH!' he needed to leave, now. So he tried the new technique again, and it took him to his bedside, his intended destination.

He didn't want to sleep... That's what his mind told him, he had more control awake, even that little. But his body needed rest, he wasn't anyone special who didn't need sleep. Eventually, his body won out against his mind. He layed his head down on the pillow sitting a'top the sheets of his temporary bed. His hair fell in his face, he tried all he could to force himself to think of something... or someone else... but he couldn't, he couldn't, not yet. He finally drifted to the state of pre-sleep, where your only partly conscious. He would stay like that for a while, trying to fights those thoughts... but... in the end, he just smiled as he drifted to sleep, with one final words leaving his lips... “Hinata...”

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He had woken from his meager sleep to find the world dark around him. It was now time to stand guard over the jewel of the Hyuuga clan. He hated it because it meant he had to see her, he avoided the girl all he could at all times, but now, with the renewed violence from the sand, they threatened to take Konoha's Byakugan by force. So, every night, he had to see her.

She was so... delicate. As she slept, she made little noises as her hair fell into her face, and he loved them. She was... beautiful, just lying there, unaware of her silent protector. He sat up in the oak outside her window, he only wished she could see him and... feel the same way. He was sure she saw him as a, a monster. Some sick beast from the branch family, a selfish beast at that. He couldn't... ever... no... love, her? 'AGHHHHHH! No. no no no no NO!' tonight was a little better than the last, his body didn't show his feelings now, but it was the same pain as before, and it was only growing.

So he was there for the night. About mid-night, his mind starting to play tricks on him. He saw... things, he shouldn't have even contemplated. He needed to talk to her, so he could reaffirm that she hated him, so that he could know that this was not... love, but a passing sickness. And that above all she was not special, only human, only that and nothing more. Not an angel, not a goddess, JUST HUMAN. But, he couldn't force his mind to think that, it wouldn't listen, it wouldn't obey! It told him she was special, something more...

He couldn't bring himself to wake that beautiful creature lying there, so he would need wait. And he did. Morning came, and he went to his quarters to sleep for a few hours, to sleep a sleep, that would not refresh him, only cause more stress. A sleep filled with dreams that would never, COULD NEVER come to be reality. Noon... he woke panting. He HAD to talk with her and know for sure. He left his temporary space and disappeared to the center of Konoha, again, not where he wanted to go, but close enough. So he walked, slowly, to his destination, the training grounds, where... she and her teammates would most likely be since they were not on a mission at the moment.

He arrived and searched for the team. They were not at the training grounds or forest, he could see that just with his Byakugan. So he again tried his newly learnt technique, and it worked. He arrived at his destination as planned, the private training grounds of the Hyuuga clan. And there she was...

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“Hinata,” he... blushed at saying her name, but quickly recovered. “May I speak with you?” he said flatly. “Oh, uh, of course, Neji-jun.” she said, but to Neji, it sounded like music... he had to see something. “Hinata?” “Uh-huhn?” “What is your... opinion of me?” he asked coldy. The girl paused as she contemplated her answer to such a, well, broad and trap-filled question. All the while she was thinking, Neji watched her body for signs of her thoughts. Movement, twitches, where she was looking, anythging. He saw nothing, she gave nothing away. She sat perfectly still, eyes closed. “Neji-kun? Why would you.. you ask me that?”

“Personal reasons.” he replied coolly. “Like... like what?” “There are many reasons.” no... wait... she was reading him! She had been watching him! Her eyes weren't closed at all. 'WHAT DOES SHE KNOW!?' he started to panic internally. His heart beat rose as she opened her eyes all the way and looked at him so innocently, her head tilted to the side, her lips curved in a small smile. Neji couldn't smile back, he never smiled, and right now, he was scared he let something slip. “Sorry Hinata, I must go, I have an appointment with... Gai-sensei, I was supposed to be there five minutes ago. Good-bye” “Wait Neji-kun.” *poof* and he was gone.

Did she see that right? Neji? Nervous? She had NEVER seen Neji show the slightest bit of worry. Why was he nervous, now? Maybe he was worried about being late? No... he wasn't in a hurry, and, he's never late. And he seemed disshoveled, what... Anything else? What has been happening recently? Why would he be THIS stressed? His feet moved when he talked. He didn't make eye contact. He was tired and stressed. He didn't get enough sleep las night? Why not? She hadn't heard anything, and Neji lives nearby, so they would probably hear the same things. Hmm.... if Neji was stressed, he was probably worried... Why did he ask her opinion of him? He wouldn't care... he doesn't care for anything or anyone, does he? She would need to find out what was up, if it made Neji nervous, there was right to worried.

She needed to know what got him so... worked up. But there was no clue as to his current where-abouts, and when did he learn how to... uhm... poof? Eh. no matter, she would ask him later when he returned to the clan's residences for the night. For now, she would focus on chakra circulation, well, try atleast... she couldn't stop thinking of possible answers to her questions... most were scary, but... she thought... maybe.... does he? No, he couldn't...

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The sun was starting to set on the Hyuuga residence. The heir of the clan had been training all day, and she was tired. So she decided to retire for the night. She walked towards the door to the hall. As she came to her room, she heard something... “Byakugan” she said quietly, “oh... just the wind... I guess,” was her conclusion, as she didn't see anything. But he was there, her guardian, he was early. He watched through the very walls of the estate using is bloodline limit, he watched her walk towards the closet adjoining her quarters. He had to fight the urge to keep watching as she changed, but he didn't dare do something so disgusting.

He waited, then resumed watching as she continued her nightly routine. Change, a glass of water, a look out the window, and then she slipped into bed and pulled the sheets to right below her chin. 'No, I need to talk to her... before she gets to sleep.

But Hinata would not soon be sleeping. She focused, and thought of that one event today. Why would he care what she thought? He's never cared... never been warm, or ever helped her. She had always wanted a big brother, but Neji was the farthest thing she could imagine from that. He never cared for her, nor did he ever fight with her, he just... stayed away. The Hyuuga girl was just lonely... She didn't have siblings, her father was cold, and her first crush and maybe love was taken by someone else. All she had were her teammates, one of which she didn't care for much, and the other didn't care for anyone. Alone.

Her head turned as she heard a small tap on her door. Who would be here, this late? The Hyuuga didn't need to guess, “Byakugan... Neji-kun?” She got out of bed and walked toward the door. She reached to open it, but it was already sliding open even before her hand reached out to it. “Oh.. he... he... hello, Neji-kun,” she whispered weakly, his eyes, there was something different she saw from early, what was it... determination? “Gashi, Hinata, it was regrettable that I had to leave in such a rush earlier today.” “It's al, alright Neji-kun.” she replied, leaning on the frame of the door, Neji in the middle of the hallway. “Would you... well, mind answering my question from earlier?” he asked... hesitantly, she noticed.

“Which question, Neji-kun?” she looked tired, but she knew what question, the Hyuuga girl just wanted to find a reaction when he said it again. He looked downwards for a moment. “What is your opinion of me Hinata?” she purposely paused, just to see. She had been thinking about the answer all day. “Neji?” “Yes.” “Your just... so cold.” he looked down again. “But...” his head turned up as their eyes met. then he looked away again, “I think if you could just... open up.” he was looking all around, slowly turning his head about. He was nervous again and he won't look at me, she noted. “People would really get to know you, and they might really like the real you.” and she smiled at him so sweetly. He was blushing! She was in awe, Neji was blushing. “Do you really think that?” he said as flatly as he could. “I think they would love you.” she looked at him, his face was extremely red compared to his normal paleness. She knew why he was acting like this... she needed to think though. “See you tommorow Neji-kun,” she said cheerily. He couldn't talk, so, he smiled, SMILED! and nodded his head good-night.

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Hinata walked to bed, laid down, and closed her eyes. She didn't sleep though. It couldn't be, she was imagining things, right? Neji couldn't... like... her? Could he? These thoughts kept her up for the next hour until she finally succumbed to sleep. He was still their, outside in the oak, watching her.

Morning came, but he didn't do the usual and go to his quarters to sleep for a few hours, instead, he joined the rest of the family for breakfast. Everyone there was surprised to see him because he never ate with the rest of the clan and the elder family members were surprised because they knew he had been up all night on guard. As he walked up to the table, there was a spot open closer to the door, but he chose to walk around the table, and yes it was a very big table to be able to sit most of the clan, and sit next between an older man in the family and Hinata. As he sat turned he turned to the older man and nodded, then turned to Hinata... and smiled.

Their family was not known for being diplomats, or speakers, or anything that involves, well, not killing people, so there wasn't much conversation at meals. So, if someone did speak, everyone heard, and everyone listened. So when Neji tried to speak with Hinata next to him, about fifteen Hyuugas turned their heads his way, the others just tried to hear more intently without moving their heads. So, here was not a good place to spew his innermost thoughts and deepest feelings to someone whom he had no idea how they would react.

He waited till most of the family was done eating and had left for missions, training, or work, to ask Hinata to help him outside with something. They walked outside to a private grove of assorted trees at the back of the Hyuuga estate. “What, uhm... what, what, what did you... you need help with Neji-kun?” she asked... blushing. Up to a short time ago, it had been common practice among the large families, to court and marry within the clan, but... this was different... this 'UGH! I can't do this! It's. so. wrong. She's the closest thing I could ever have to a sister... DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT!! AH!' he thought, his hands went up and grabbed hold of his long hair and started pulling. “N... Neji-kun? What's wrong?” she sounded worried. 'FOCUS!' “Nothing Hinata, uhm.” 'FOCUS, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS, NO ONE ELSE MATTERS' “I just wanted to, uhm.” 'TELL HER!' “Tell you something.” 'SAY IT!' “What, Neji-kun?” she smiled. 'SAY IT ALREADY' “I think I..” 'DO IT!' “I...” “What, Neji-kun?” 'GROW SOME BALLS NEJI, SAY IT!' “Hmm?” “I... I... I love you.”

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The Hyuuga girls eyes went wide, “You... you, you, you, you wha, what?” “I love you.” she couldn't believe what Neji was saying, but it explained so much that had happened the last few years... “Ne.. ne, ne, Neji-kun, I, i, i , I'm your... cousin?” “I don't care.” stated the Hyuuga coolly. “I'm sorry I had to tell you this, if I could have, I would have withheld it, but... I... just... couldn't...” Hinat's face was so red, Neji couldn't tell from what. She could've been angry, embarrased, maybe... happy?”

“Neji!” she cried, tears flowing down her pale cheeks, flowing from her beautiful violet eyes. She steped towards him... and leaned her head down on his chest. The boy was shocked, he was expecting her to run away and ask her father to kill him, not... this. He lifted his arms from his side where they had been hanging, and wrapped them around the girl crying on his chest. “I'm sorry Hinata... I shouldn't have said anything...” she sniffed, trying to stop the tears, “n... no, Neji, I, I, I'm... happy” she sobbed. She turned her head up and looked at the one holding her. The just stared at each other... Neji had no idea what to do, this was the LAST thing he had expected, so he just stared into her eyes as she stared into his.

He held her there under the shade of the trees, they just stood there, her crying into his chest and him running one hand through her raven hair. “Hinata... you should go inside, it's starting to rain.” she looked at him as he let his arms again fall to his side. She turned towards the house, still crying, and took his hand in hers. She just smiled along with the tears as they started walking together, hand in hand, towards the Hyuuga manor. Neji's face was hurting though, because he had never smiled before yesterday, and he wasn't used to it.

They walked through the training area and onto the covered porch surrounding the whole of the building. Once they were out of the rain, Hinata again pulled herself close to him. He was still in shock from her reaction earlier, but now, he was becoming conscious again, actually aware that... she, was holding onto... him. She looked up at him, and he couldn't stop himself... he leaned in, slowly... slowly... their lips met, and she pushed against him. His hand ran through her hair as they were locked in their first kiss. They stayed in that state, holding each other and one's lips never leaving the other's. Until, Hinata pulled back, she looked so happy, but... she was scared, she wasn't as sure as Neji was. She smiled at him, then turned away towards her room and started walking slowly. Neji just stood there, watching her walk away... “Uhm... Ne, Ne... Neji-kun?” she called back as she turned around smiling, still crying though. “Yes, Hinata.” he said gloomily. “Wh.. Where, where, where are you going?” he didn't know. He hadn't thought anything through, which is horribly out of character for the Hyuuga boy.

“I don't know.” he answered honestly. “oh...” “Well, Hinata... umm... What are you doing this afternoon?” he asked warily. “N.. n, n, nothing” “Well... I had promised Lee I would go with him to pick up some curry of life for a patient in the hospital, would you like to walk there with me?” he asked. She was still trying to absorb all that had happened in the past half hour. “Su... sure!” She couldn't help but smile as she turned away and walked into the house.

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“Lee, Hinata will be joining us to get the curry.” “Ah, yes! The power of youth calls to Hinata-kun!” “Yea. I'm going to go get her, I'll meet you at the gate.” “Hai! I will be there!” “Yea.”

Neji used his new technique to... poof... to the Hyuuga manor. “Hinata, Lee is at the gate and we are prepared to start upon our journey.” he called from the hall. “Neji-kun, could you, you come in an, and talk?” so he slid open the door to her room and stepped inside. She was behind the folding changing wall in the corner of the room. Oh god... he wanted so much to see her in full, but... he would never do such a thing against her will. But the shadows on his side of the separator were... enticing, to say the least.

“Hinata, I said that we're prepared to leave when you are.” he repeated. She wasn't quite sure how she was to go about this, but... she was going to try. “Neji-kun, I can't hear you, come closer and tell me,” so he stepped closer and repeated himself, she still couldn't hear him, so he stepped closer. He could almost see through the material separating he and Hinata even without his limit. He repeated what he had said yet again. “Oh.. o.. ok, Neji-kun, I, i, I'll be right there.” Neji was so close to losing his control at that point, but he held to it.

Hinata met him in the hallway, she had on a special crème colored chuunin jacket that resembled her other except for the symbol on the back. “Are you, you ready Ne, Neji-kun?” she said shyly. He didn't know why she still stuttered. Could she really not hear him just now? He thought it was a ploy for her to see what he would do. But, she was too innocent to do something like that, he thought, right?

She grabbed his hand as they walked out the house. She had decided she didn't care either. She would be strong like Neji-kun, and follow her... heart.

Neji realized that she was sure of what she was doing now. The stares they got from those working in the house and especially the stares they got from the family members, almost broke Hinata down to tears, but she only had to look at Neji's... smile to build her fortitude back. They walked out the back of the Hyuuga manor, still hand in hand. He gripped her hand and gently swung her infront of himself and looked into her eyes. He leaned down and touched his lips to hers. She raised her hands and held the sides of his face as they seperated, then pulled him pack to her, again locking in passion. “NEJI-KUN! THE SPRING-TIME OF YOUTH WILL LEAVE BEHIND THAT MAN IN THE HOSPITAL IF WE ARE NOT SWIFT, in... our... travels... oh...” they ignored Lee and each would not let the other go until they were gasping for air. “Well, I will get Tenten to travel with me! FAREWELL FAIR YOUTHS!” they still ignored him as he left smiling. They just looked at each other. She held his face in her hands, and his arms were wrapped around her.

Hinata pulled the Hyuuga boy back to her room where they continued from earlier, each time fighting to hold out longer from breathing. They were like that till night came. Then, tired from his long nights, and she, from this new found... love. Now, he was no longer... cold, he had all he needed, her love, and she... she was no longer... alone, because, she was in his arms now, and she loved him. So, she shifted closer to him, and he held her against himself. She just lyed there... content. Until she drifted off to sleep, still in his arms...

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BOOM! FLUFF! ^^ There
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