Naruto
It’s not the way you see me, it’s the way you let me down. I can’t believe that it hurts this much when I hear your voice… you’re calling out to me, though you know, I can’t be with you…
“Naruto,” Tsunade-baba murmured softly. “I can’t let you watch him. Yes you are one of the most powerful ninja I have, but I can’t let you take him. You’re too emotionally involved. Also, for the duration of his probation, you are not to have any contact with him, do you understand?”
“But, Godaime Hokage-sama,” I whisper, trying not to let my devastating heartbreak show in my face, reflect in my eyes, be heard in my voice. “Please. Please let me take care of him.”
“I’m sorry Naruto. You know I want nothing more than to let you do that, but I can’t. I really can’t. I have to make sure of everything; I have to make sure that Uchiha is safe to be reintegrated into society.”
“Please, I just want to take care of him,” I whisper, kneeling defeated before the Hokage.
“Naruto, I’m sorry. I can’t allow you to take him.”
“H-how long?”
“Two hundred forty days.”
I can’t stop the tears that fall from my eyes. The tears that won’t stop. I wrap my arms around myself and let my desperation take control of me.
“Naruto, come here,” Tsunade-baba murmurs, opening her arms to me. I obey, falling against her as sobs softly wrack my body. I’m just a teenager. I’ve waited for so long to have him back with me, to know that I finally was able to fulfill my promise to both Sakura-chan and myself. To know that finally, I would be able to hold him once more.
Sasuke
You’re a constant echo that I hear, ringing in my ears (I see you) I see the way you see me. You’re a constant hurting, that gets the best of me…
I could only watch. He was wrapped in Tsunade-sama’s arms, crying his eyes out in her ridiculously ample breasts. His hands were clenched, clutching his black shirt while her abnormally powerful arms held him. And I couldn’t stop watching though. We’re shinobi. Our childhood had been stripped away by life, by the reality of powerful opponents who didn’t care about our childish innocence. And he was worse, he’d lost more that anyone because he’d never had anything. And I took away a good thing in his life. Did I help do this to him.
He’s so powerful; so young and so powerful and so innocent. He’d never been allowed to behave as a normal child would. Because of the Kyuubi, adults didn’t want to recognize him. Because of the adults’ cold shoulders, children turned away from him. I hate seeing him like this. I hate to see him so broken and so distraught and not powerful. I wish I knew why he was crying on her. I want to make him better.
“Please, Tsunade-baba,” Naruto whimpered. “Please let me care and watch out for him.” Care for whom?
“Naruto,” the older woman sighed heavily. Her arms shifted around the boy and she pulled him into her lap. “Naruto you can’t. You two are explosive together and I can’t risk Konoha because of you two.”
“Please Tsunade-sama,” he whimpered softly, snuggling against the woman who was denying him something he so desperately wanted.
“Why Naruto? Why do you want to do it so badly?”
“Because,” he whimpered. “Because I love him.”
“Naruto,” Tsunade-sama sighed. “Naruto, Naruto, Naruto.”
“Please.”
I was shocked. Naruto was begging for permission to do something, to watch somebody he loved. He couldn’t… he wasn’t talking about me… was he?
“No. Because of the fact that you love him. Becauase of your history with him, I can’t allow this. I won’t be able to discern his loyalty to the city if he’s with you. Uchiha made his bed, he must now lay in it.”
Naruto’s sobs drifted quietly away and I can’t stop watching. In his tear-choked voice I heard him ask, “Can I visit him?’
“When his probation is over.”
“Then can I have a mission until then?”
“Congratulations,” Tsunade-sama laughed. She pushed him out of her lap and forced him to stand straight. Gods he was gorgeous in all that black. He radiated power. When he was at attention, her deep, powerful voice barked, “ANBU Naruto, you are to visit the kazekage and observe his city’s prosperity. This mission will last no less then two-hundred thirty days. You will leave five days from today. While you are there, you will be responsible for offering assistance to the kazekage, you will strengthen the relations between Sand and ourselves. Do you understand?”
“Hai, Tsunade-sama,” he answered, bowing before our leader.
I couldn’t breath. I’d come home for him and waited and fought for him and I wouldn’t be bale to see him. I waited for him. I wanted him. I’d hoped desperately that I would be able to stay with him. He would help be reintegrated into society; he would help me relearn Konoha society, help me learn to live in peace and return to being a protector for this city. I wouldn’t see him for all of my probation?
I moved away from the door. I didn’t want to see him. I waited patiently at the end of the hall, moving back and forth in impatience. He was leaving me. Would he tell me? Would he let me know he was leaving, that I wouldn’t see him for far too long?
I paused in my pacing when he stopped before me. His blue eyes were rimmed in red, his cheeks dusted pink. His blond hair was mussed and his posture was almost proud, but strangely deflated. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, hold onto him and assure him that it would all be okay.
Naruto
So please don’t leave. Just remember to keep some distance and remember you’ve already had your chance with me. I hope you see; I could never be without you, just try to see the way that I see…
“Sasuke,” I murmur, trying not to sound as broken as I feel. “How serious were you when you pledged yourself to me?”
“Whatever you want me to do. Whatever you need me to do. Order me,” he whispered softly.
“I have to leave,” I finally whisper. “I’m going away for a long time.”
“Can I come with you?” he asked, hope dancing in his voice.
“That’s why I asked about how serious you are. You can’t. We can’t see each other until you’re off of your probation. I won’t be allowed to see you. So, I’m leaving. Please, please Sasuke, don’t do anything stupid.”
“When do you leave?” his voice soft and broken.
“Five days,” I answer. I don’t want to talk to him. Like a child, I want to go to Iruka and cry. He’ll understand.
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me, his head falling to rest on my shoulder. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered.
“I have to. I don’t want to, but I have to. Sasuke, I am ANBU. I have to follow Tsunade-baba’s instructions. I have to obey her,” I answer, my arms hanging limply at my side.
“I’ll wait for you,” he whispered. “I’ll wait for you forever.”
“Please, just obey. Do what you’re told, do what you have to and move on. Forget about what happened. I’ll be back and I’ll come for you then. Do you believe me?” I ask, finally wrapping my arms around him.
“I’ll wait for you.”
“I didn’t lie when I said I love you,” I mutter. “I just… I can’t see you.” I know I sound defeated and broken, I sound like I’ve given up already.
“I’ll write to you,” he stated suddenly. “I’ll write to you everyday so you know I’ll be here. So you know I’m doing what I need to do to stay here, for you.”
“Can I… can I kiss you?” I ask softly, pulling back holding him at arm’s length.
He doesn’t answer, but he nearly attacks me in his eagerness. His lips are so soft and I find myself utterly addicted to him. When we broke for air, I push away and murmur, “Please, drop your jealousy. Forget your hate. Grow in the peace that is Konoha. You can’t stay the same because it’ll kill you.”
“When did you get so wise?”
“When I realized that my pranks and childishness were prove too weak to protect the one thing I loved.”
He opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by Tsunade-baba’s voice, calling out and beckoning him to her office. “Uchiha-san, please come in.”
“Go. I’ll see you,” I mutter, knowing, knowing he knows that I am lying. I press my lips to his temple and leave. I can’t face him, not right now, not like this. I will see him, when our punishment is over and I’ll make sure he knows, he understands what it means to be mine. I will make him understand. I will make him.
It’s so hard. So hard to be perfect. To know that everyone expects me to be able to accomplish anything, to perform miracles simply because I’m so promising; because once in a while I do manage something spectacular. But I am not a miracle worker and my tricks will not work forever. I am this creature of perfection, and I don’t know what it means. I don’t know see it, I don’t agree. When I come back, when I find my way into his arms, then and only then will I have an inkling of perfection. I hate being the one to walk away, knowing that it will be too long before I see him again.
Sasuke
So please don’t leave. Just remember to keep some distance and remember you’ve already had your chance with me. I hope you see; I could never be without you, just try to see the way that I see…
Gods above, I could kill her. That bitch. Naruto and I, finally together; we were talking and sharing and being so fucking intimate and that bitch ruined it all. I hate her. I want Naruto and she’s testing me by testing my loyalty.
Tsunade-sama is talking to me. I should be paying attention to her, I know I should, she’ll expect me to, but I just can’t. I’m bored and I’m distracted. I just respond softly with a grunt, “Hn,” when she’s done speaking. I know it’s disrespectful and I know you’re going to be pissed about it when you find out because Tsunade will tell you, but I can’t help it.
Only one question actually draws my attention. “Why did you come back, Uchiha?”
“Naruto.” Simply put, simply explained. Naruto is the reason for everything.
“Naruto is the only thing you’re going to say?” Tsunade-sama asked softly.
“Naruto is the only reason,” I whisper. “Can I be excused, please?”
“You’re under observation for the next two hundred forty days. You’ll be forbidden from missions, you’ll be allowed to train, but only with two trained ANBU with you at all times while you expend your chakra. You’ll be put up for consideration for missions when the two hundred, forty days are up. You’ll be staying with a guardian; he shall be your escort for the next several months. When your time is over, you’ll be allowed freedom. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Tsunade-sama,” I answer, bowing respectfully to her. The rules are strict, they are heavy, but they are fair, considering what I did.
“Uchiha Sasuke,” she continues with the all-important air of self-arrogance that all leaders develop. “Today, you will move in with one Umino Iruka-sensei. While you are under his care, please remember that you are on probation. That being said, you must not use your chakra without express permission. Umino-sensei will guide you through your return to us.”
“Hn,” I answer, knowing anything else will ruin me.
I’ll be staying with Iruka-sensei. I don’t know how I feel about that. It means that I have to see Kakashi too. Only an idiot would miss out on them being together. Do I want to see him? Am I strong enough to stay with Iruka-sensei, knowing his lover is my own former teacher whom I so completely betrayed?
“Sasuke,” Tsunade-sama murmured softly. “I know that you wanted to stay with Naruto. I know he wants to stay with you as well. But I can’t let that happen right now. You are under watch and I can’t watch you when you’re with Naruto. You two are volatile and you both are extremely emotional, especially right now. I want you to rejoin us before you go off with him again.”
“Tsunade-sama,” I whisper, defeated. “I heard. I heard you order him away. I heard you ignore him saying he loved me and I heard you order him away from me. I don’t want to be here without Naruto. But he asked me to be. So for him, and for him alone, I will stay. I am not happy with these arrangements and have half a mind to take off, just following Naruto. Everything I have ever done, everything I will ever do I do because of Naruto.”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes,” I answer without hesitation, looking into her old, steady eyes.
“You hurt him so much when you left him. He was so very broken when you left. But you inspired him to grow better. Did you realize he turned ANBU in the middle of last year? A remarkable achievement for such a knucklehead. He actually completely surpassed chuunin with the help of Jiraiya. What you have is no longer the goofy, pushover Naruto. He is one of the strongest ninja we have. I may nominate him for captain or even to the elite hunter-nin. While you were away, Naruto grew up and got serious.”
“I can tell. He carries himself with more confidence. He’s graceful,” I mumble softly.
“I’m sorry to break you two up right now. You’ll need him, I know. So I’ll turn my eyes and give you an exception. Until the day Naruto leaves, you are permitted to spend the next few days with him. But you and he may not leave the Umino home. Do you understand?”
All of my rage, all of my hatred, all of my protests fly out of my mind with little warning. I open my mouth to agree, to acknowledge my gratefulness, but I can’t find the words. With my mouth hanging open like a fish, I can only stare at her. I can’t move and I’ve been completely unraveled by her generosity. I am an Uchiha and I should never be so undignified, but so great is my relief, so great is the absolute joy I feel at being given this time, I don’t care about my prestigious bloodline or my heritage.
“You don’t need to say anything,” Tsunade-sama murmured. “Go ahead. Get Naruto. Only you can make him happy and I’d do anything to make him smile.”
I don’t need any more encouragement. With a slight smile on my face, I rush off. I don’t know how quickly I’ll find him, I just want to. Moving as stealthily as my years taught me, I moved through the city of Konoha, searching out my prey. That perfect blond ANBU who urged me through all I do. My inspiration. I quickly find his unique chakra, unable to ignore the flare of energy. Luck was with me. I joined him and watched the play of emotions across his handsome face. He looks shocked and a little hurt. Ignoring my scarred former sensei behind him, I wrap my arms around him and mumble, “Don’t leave me yet.”
“Sasuke,” he whispers. “You… you have to obey Tsunade-baba.”
“I am. She told me that I could. She gave me permission to be with you until you leave.”
Naruto
You’re a constant echo that I hear, ringing in my ears (I see you) I see the way you see me. You’re a constant hurting, that gets the best of me… So please don’t leave. Just remember to keep some distance and remember you’ve already had your chance with me. I hope you see; I could never be without you, just try to see the way that I see…
There are tears in my eyes again. Damnit. I was going to cry with Iruka-sensei because he knows what it’s like. I was preparing for the separation once more. Not like six months is going to be so long anyway. We were apart for nearly three years, what’s the difference between six more months. Six months when I won’t have to worry about his safety, six months in which I know he’ll be waiting for me.
Tsunade-baba sometimes does these things to me. She didn’t mind my wanderlust, sated only by Jiraiya. She didn’t mind my tantrums, thrown only in her presence. She doesn’t seem to mind that I am nothing more than a tool and that all of my life, I’ve been ignored and forced into this role of demanding attention. She lets me act out, she gives me the attention I crave and just when I’m about to break, she holds me together. But this, this is unbelievable. I can’t believe that she would go against all of her rules to do this for me. She would give into my demands and she would give me Sasuke.
“But there’s a rule,” he mutters. “You have to stay here at Iruka-sensei’s home. It’s where I’ll be staying during my probation.”
“That’s all I have to do?”
“That’s all you have to do,” he answers, smiling at the grin that beats its way across my face. I know I must look pretty damn stupid, that I must be pretty funny looking, smiling like an idiot because I get to spend time with the traitor, with the very person I was desperate to avoid not days before.
Damnit, how do you always manage to work me up, and then leave me like you do? You make me want to scream, you make me want to cry and throw a fit and just be a childish little shit. I just want to forget all the barriers I’ve had to move past, everything I’ve overcome to be the shinobi I am today because of you. I just want to go back to our genin days and try just a little bit harder to save you from yourself. I know I can’t do anything, I was never able to do anything, you’ve always been stronger then me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t want to try. And I will do anything to keep you. When I come back, everything will be better. Everything. I love you Sasuke. I love you Sasuke. And for the next five days, you’ll know just how much.
[Reviews - 3]
Table of Contents
- Text Size +