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You Know What I Hate? by Lolligaggin

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Hey…You know what I hate?

The way he steals all the pillows, it seems as if I’m going to have a comfortable night of wonderful well deserved sleep and in one split second my thoughts of peace and oblivion are suddenly trashed and pulled aside as he launches his pillow pursuit and proceeds to take away all the precious pillows like the thief that he is. He even has the audacity to pretend that he hasn’t committed any crimes as he imitates snores. Boy does he have the nerve, it isn’t as if he needs more than two, one for the head and one for legs, even I understand that concept. But no, it’s like an artillery of pillows, as if the man’s building a fort of pillows that separate us, and leaves me with nothing but his chest to rest on…even if I get that far. It grates my nerves knowing that as soon as I turn my back to confront him he pulls his perfected innocent act, one that I haven’t a clue where it originated from. The stealing has got to go.

And, it isn’t only the pillows, at first it was just the pillows. Somehow, his awful habits have proceeded to blankets, not only has he stolen the pillows, he’s carried on to take away any if all comfort from warmth. And no, he doesn’t do this suddenly. Actually, it’s very diligently, like a genius, he awaits until I am sleeping ever so blissfully before he begins his menacing plan. Little by little he tugs at the blanket, as if the mass of pillows wasn’t already enough for him to be warm, no, he must go as far as pocketing the covers. I do not take heed until I’m half way freezing at three in the morning, and what do I wake up to find? Naruto sleeping like a baby. Really, he’s very selfish.

Heh, and the only way to resolve the problem happens to be to use him as body warmth. Now I really don’t mind snuggling with him, except the fact that he drools. And it isn’t any minor saliva, because I have to admit that I drool to. No, it’s a pool of slobber that trails down to meet my cheek. I’m beginning to believe it’s some kind of plan he’s forming, he probably drinks around eighteen bottles of water to accumulate this much liquid. Really, it’s disgusting waking up to find that the guy drooled all over me. I can’t even protect myself since I have no PILLOWS or BLANKETS for myself.

It isn’t all bad though, it helps a great deal with this ritual that he performs, he happens to believe that he’s in some sort of nightmare time and time again, well I happen to be his teddy bear of support because he has a tendency to squeeze the living daylights out of me in the middle of the night. You know, as if the fort of pillows and the covers weren’t enough protection for the amazing agile ninja that Naruto is.

It isn’t always sleeping that I have a problem with, oh no. I mean if it was these simple little setbacks then I wouldn’t be here…proclaiming my love for this man. Gosh, there seems to be a glitch in Naruto’s system. Now I’m not a morning person, I thrive in the evening hours, because like owls, I just happen to love the night sky! Not that I can fly or anything. Anyway, Naruto just so happens to be a morning sunshine enthusiastic, and he loves to make his presence known in the most of godless hours. Of course this includes literally jumping off of bed to make a breakfast meal. And certainly a meal cannot be complete without the wonderful tune of a song from the amazing Naruto. It’s kind of cute watching him lollygag about in the morning, even if his attempts to wake me up aren’t that encouraging.

The way he eats, really, it’s like an animal. After training for a few hours he comes back to devour whatever the heck I managed to make that day. Poor meal, it never even had time to become acknowledged, only vacuumed by Naruto. And if I had the nerve to make ramen, he drinks it like kool-aid. Aye, the man needs to learn how to chew. I’m sick of performing the Heimlich maneuver on him. I try to persuade him to eat more human like, but it doesn’t help that he looks so adorable with crumbs of whatever all over his face. Like a spoiled brat, I swear.

He isn’t the neatest of people, which contrasts to the way I organize my life. He loves to mix and match clothes, as if it was a bunch of puzzle pieces. He loves to irritate me with that little tradition of his too. At times, when I have a mission to go to, he believes it’s a day out in Disney World as he throws my clothes around the house. He’s even bold enough to leave that as such to await my return so I can scold him. So I can tell him what an idiot he is as he sits back on the couch and smiles at me, tenderly. And I can’t go on much longer, because I find it so attractive, that loveable smile of his. Aye, what a pain

Did I mention he’s loud? Listen, I feel remorse for our neighbors, two completely loud people living under one roof, and it really isn’t lyrical bliss if you ask me. Of course we argue, but when we argue, Naruto doesn’t take anything seriously. He shouts for the hell of it, he shouts and cracks into chuckles, which only exceeds to anger me even more. I swear, is he really that immature? Someone as gorgeous as he is, what an idiot. An immature idiot if you ask me. Of course, most of the time I’m yelling at him for something that he’s done wrong, for example if he forgets an anniversary, and you know what…the nerve of him, he sees that as an ideal opportunity to say, “I love you Ino!” And smother me in a kiss, because that’s what he does. It’s only an excuse to weasel his way out of getting a scolding. Still, he has that affect on me.

What I really can’t stand is his lack of interest in flowers. I mean people usually at least attempt, or even pretend to like their significant other’s interests. He’s cruel, let’s say we were going to a Konoha festival, or a garden, he would deliberately stomp on them, to my dismay. He does this to my aggravation; he knows very well that my family owns a flower shop so he believes it’s the best way to show his adoration. By mutilating any flower he catches his eye on, those poor buds, and watching as I give him a good punch. Ugh, he really goes out of his way to pester me, or catch my attention. It surprised the hell out of me when he left me a flower one morning, a week prior, even if he said he found it somewhere and he was ready to break it apart but I was sleeping at the time. Hah, idiot. We all know that you were trying to show that you cared; you’re just as stubborn as I am.

It isn’t that annoying when you decide to wake me up in these insane morning hours, I sort of like it. I guess I’ll admit that I like the idea of you caring for me even when I kick you out of bed. Honestly, using ice to wake me up is a dirty trick Naruto. And I’ll also confess that your little banquets in the morning are delicious. I guess that comes with years of preparation. I know you don’t like to talk about your past, but I’m willing to listen. I know were an orphan but you’re one no longer. You’re surrounded by people who love you, even Sasuke. We’re all family, Naruto.

Stubborn, if not stable, you’re out of the ordinary. I guess that’s what I prefer to see, no? Even if you do manage to steal all the covers and cushions, even if you throw my clothes all over the house, even if you eat like a child, act like a child, sleep like a child, I pretend to act nutty but we all know it’s just an amusement between the two of us. I could never really get irritated with your presence. And you know what? I love you, idiot.
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