My name is Memoria Honda, I’m 18 years old. How everything came to be with Light and his perfect world is a complicated matter. I guess I should start from the very beginning…before all the deaths, before the blood, before everything. Back to when Light first noticed the signs of my gift. My gift…more like a curse in many ways was given to me back before my birth.

The first signs of my indifferent nature were when I was in my mother gave birth to me. I first gained knowledge of the world through the touch of her hands onto mine. I did not understand what I saw when my bare hands touched hers and then my fathers. I saw flashes of them when they were young; babies to the very moment of my birth. I felt immense pain as well confusion with these flashes; causing me to blackout.

Blacking out as a newborn was grave but, my mind needed to be somewhere else. I found myself in a giant library, it was so vast and filled with bookcases I did not understand what these things were; what child or baby would? Then I noticed that the library was entire empty except for 1 book on a low shelve. It was labeled Memoria’s birth. Next a thunderous crash echoed through the room and I saw hundreds of books scattered and piled on the ground next to the doors that seemed to be the exit. All labeled different things, like Mary’s College Years and Mark’s High School years.

I felt curious about these books and why they were there in my library; I floated to them and started look at them. I couldn’t understand what they said till I came upon Mary’s first reading. I soon learned how to read all of the books and sorted them into two sections: one for my mother Mary and one for my father Mark. All the books took twelve back to back shelves apiece. I felt strange being able to read my parent’s memories like they were books.

I figured out later that my library was my memory and I could add to it by learning things on my own or… touching other people’s bare hands with mine. This gift however came with a price; I didn’t wake up till three days after my birth. This gift takes a huge toll on my mind causing it great pain. It’s like taking gel and forcing it through a needle thick tube. In the future I tried to avoid touching other people’s hands if I didn’t cover mine.

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A month after my birth my father left my mother. I remember the night; he accused my mother having an affair and I was the result of it. I knew it wasn’t true but, I could not yet speak so my parents could understand me. It sounded like attempts at sounding out vowels or consonants. I then tried to show him with my small hands that he was wrong, I was his child, but nothing worked; he still left. My mother was distraught…I promised that I would do everything in my power to make her happy.

I never cried as much as baby would, only when I couldn’t stand the hunger pains did I cry showing with my hands that I needed food. I giggled and smiled at her acting as joyous as I could to make her smile. She seemed so happy after my acts and funny sounds. Oh I remember all the times I tried to say I loved her so much. She use to brag to her friends how I never seemed unhappy with her; I knew because she always touched my bare hands with hers, saying how I was such a beautiful baby.

But, the first time she had brought me to work with her, to show what a joyful child I was at the age of 5 months old; I had a seizure from all the people touching my hands with theirs. I tried to endure the pain but, it overwhelmed my ever-growing brain and I blacked out once more.

I woke up at the hospital hooked up to strange machines with my mother not in site. I screamed so loud and shrilly for her, my voice nearly gave out, but did it send all the nurses running in. I kept screaming till I saw my mother and made frantic gestures to her to hold me. I even started to slap the nurse that was holding me till they stuck a needle into my arm and I fell unconscious.

The second time I woke up my mother’s terrified face hovered above me. I clapped my hands joyously and giggled, silently begging for her to hold me. She was sobbing when she snatched me up and held me close. I snuggled close to her and purred. A doctor followed by three nurses came in; one of them being the one I had slapped continuously. They tried to take me from my mother’s arms but, I screamed and clawed desperately to stay with her. They let me stay in her arms as they did test upon me. I was diagnosed with Epilepsy and was started medication.

I knew that this was wrong, that I only blackout and have seizures because of my bizarre gift, but I had no way of telling these people so I accepted it.

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At the age of 3 my profound vocabulary that I collected from all the people I’ve been in contact finally was revealed. My first word to my mother was when she was talking on the phone with my pediatrician; the word was pediatrician. It took me nine times trying to pronounce it and when I finally got it right my mother was shocked beyond belief. She took me to the pediatrician that very day; ironic was it not?

The pediatrician was flabbergasted when I told her to stop using such a patronizing tone with me; I mean seriously I wasn’t like other kids that didn’t mind that. I had stored the vocabulary of an educated professor.

The lady called up a psychologist, a neurologist, and several other kinds of doctors to see me. I nearly blacked out from all the handshaking. They concluded that I was genius and congratulate my mother…I was only smart because of my ability so I didn’t see how I was so smart till I thought that other geniuses must have my gift as well being so smart. I soon found out that wasn’t the case when I went to a private school the next year when I was four.

I was put into preschool at the school but, was soon moved out of it when the incident between me and the teacher aroused:

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“Mindy please stop making other children cry; that kind of behavior is not accepted here!”

“First off, Mrs. Toffler: my name is not Mindy, its Memoria. Secondly I was by no means trying to instigate my fellow colleagues into showing a display of theatrics means; I was trying to prove to them that it’s impossible for the Bos primigenius, a common type of large domesticated ungulates more commonly known as the cow to be bright lavender with neon orange spots because the genetic code for their skin can’t possibly produce it. It serves no purpose in the mammal’s environment factor as camouflage or as a warning for predators to stay way.”

Mrs. Toffler stared at me dumbfounded as I continued, “It does not lie to being my fault that they refuse to belief in exact science. So may I be excused now?”

Mrs. Toffler finally snapped out of it with my question and appeared fluster in what to do. I choose this moment to walk off from the table I was assigned to work at for our farming making project to an empty table. There I went and gathered my proper supplies and started on a new farm with real animals.

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I was tested and placed in first grade honors. It was odd being so young and being in a room full of six to seven year olds. I found out there it was best to keep my big word mouth shut for I was constantly harassed for being a book worm and I found out none had the same gift that I had. Only when did I learn karate and then beat a boy up for name calling did I get what I wanted: to be removed from the school. I apologized to my mother and asked if she could home school me instead. It was more suited for my needs and I could choose what I wanted to learn.

It was that for many years till my mother passed away from breast cancer. I was ten at the time and at a high school level of learning; technically a tenth grade level. I was adopted after two months from a foster home. I had a growth problem and was very short for my age…so I looked like a seven year old when I wore cute little girl clothing. The family that adopted me let me keep my last name Honda; my father’s name. I mourned my mother’s death in silence then rage. I was never allowed any daycares afterwards because the children would make fun of how I look so out of place with my new family and how my eyes mismatched; so I went and beat the snot out of them then the adult when they tried to interfere.

I took on my mother’s looks except my father’s eyes and hands; I had one of his and one my mother: jade green and deep sky blue; I had my father’s medium hands while my mother’s were small and delicate. She was of Japanese birth and my father of Swedish; the family I was with was of Spanish Inheritance.

They tried to take me took many child psychologists but, I continued to be aggressive child till we made an agreement: I was finally allowed to continue home schooling and allowed to stay in my room if I agreed to stop hurting others and do at least one year in a public school before college. I choose to do my year when I was to be a senior at high school but, tragedy hit me again. The family children and grandparents died in car crash. The father was so distraught from the news that he became distorted and was fired from his job at the university he worked at being a Spanish teacher. Three weeks later he got drunk and went and shot his wife and me in our sleep then taking his own life as well, pleading with God to forgive him. I survived but the others didn’t…I had located my father through my mother’s old memories and was sent to live with him Japan. I was fifteen when I shook his hand for the second time in my life time.

He refused to accept me as his till I gave him a forged DNA test proving I was his daughter along. He was mortified at his actions and accepted me with open arms. I told him about what has happened to me and what I wanted to do. I wanted to keep my promise with The Perezs, so I continued to study vigorously what I did not know.

I knew by then ten different languages. I learned Japanese, Spanish, Greek, German, Arabic, Hebrew, and Swedish, from my gift only; English, Latin, and French are the only ones I learned on my own. I had known how to advanced mathematics, World history, the human anatomy, and more by the time my senior year came. I had gotten into a prestigious high school and was placed in all the top advanced classes. That is when I first met the future mass murder, Light Yagami.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

did i do good or bad?? let me no! ^o^

The day I met Light Yagami was a normal day. I was extremely panicky going into a school for the first time since I was small. The idea drove terror into me as I got up that morning and got dressed, doing all my usual chores before leaving. My father tried to assuage my fears, but my past experiences made me mistrustful. I wore gloves then and still do for them seem to be the only thing that stops my gift from reacting.

As I approached my homeroom, I dreaded every step, every second closer to the door. “I can do this, I can do this…” I whispered to myself as I started to slide the door open to my class. I froze instantly as the numerous classroom eyes shifted to me. My mouth felt like a desert as the teacher stopped his lesson and started at me expectantly. I stiffly raised my arm and held out my note from the principle to him; I had felt my entire frame shake with the building fright. I couldn’t stop it; I felt like I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move an inch under those blazing stares that would judge me, asset me.

The teacher smiled warmly at me after reading the note. He led me from the door to the center of the class; I stared at the ground with the room swirling out of the control while silently hyperventilating.

“Class this is our newest student, Miss Memoria Honda. This is her first and sadly last year at own prestigious school; she is a senior here so I want her to receive the utmost respect that she deserves. Miss. Honda you may go and sit wherever you like.”

I nodded numbly and looked up to scan the room for empty seats. There were only four seats open: two in the front, one in the third row to the center aisle, and one in the back row by a young man at the far right. I remember my first impression of him; he seemed uninterested in me unlike the rest of the class and me feel at ease, so I went choose the seat next to him.

How he first glanced at me when I sat next to him was not curious but, irritated and sizing up. I didn’t feel as apprehensive as I did in front of the class but, my stomach was still tied up in knots from the experience. I smiled timidly at him as I met his eyes; he gave me a quick nod before returning his eyes to the lesson.

At lunch I searched for him, I didn’t know anyone and felt very out of place. So I searched till I found him outside eating his lunch on a bench next to an old oak tree. He raised an eyebrow at me as I uncertainly sat down on the other side of the bench. “Hi…I’m Memoria…” I held out my gloved hand; I wanted to make an acquaintance the normal way as in not seeing his past flash before my eyes. He put down his apple and quickly shook my hand irritably.

“Light Yagami… so this is your first year?”


“Yeah,” I took out of my lunch bag an orange, “It’s actually my first time being at a school since I was in first grade…”

“Why the change?” He said continuing to eat his apple with no interest. I felt slightly offended; he was just making small talk till either of us leaves…

“I was considered really gifted and was constantly teased for it. So I went with being homeschooled. Till I made a promise to someone that I would go to high school for my last year just to try it.”

“I see…”

“So…um…You’ve been here all you high school years?”

“Yes; I’m a senior like you this year.”

“Cool…” I stared down at my orange as the lapse of silence length between us. He really doesn’t seem to be the social type like me…I guessed to just keep talking then; I wanted at least one person to hang with at that school.

“So what subjects are taking Raito-san?”

“AP Physics, AP Calculus/Statistics, AP ECON/Government, AP Japanese/English 4, along with other college prep classes.”

My first impression changed instantly when I heard his list of classes; he was at a genius level…Is he like me then perhaps? I knew that was an instant no, he was just very intelligent. So I got naturally curious at what made him tick and what he knew. I bit my lower lip as I debated on the subject of touching his hands to find out. It was positively tempting to see his mind; I found real genius that worked to keep it their brains sharp rare around my home. He stared at me waiting for something…I figured his wanted to know my classes as well. I coughed and returned to staring at my half way peeled orange.

“That’s a lot of Honor classes…I only have AP Honors English/Japanese 4, all the rest of my classes are in college credit earning ones…”

I felt him stared at me in disbelief, I flinched from his testy voice, “Let me see your schedule.”

I felt my heart sank as I handed it to my and shifted uncomfortably as he looked. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he raised the volume in his voice.

“All these are college courses for fifth years!”

I nodded meekly as he stared at me with an unfathomable expression. He gave me back the paper and stalked off with his lunch. I slumped down on the bench with my head hung onto my palms. I was even too smart for a high school prodigy to hang with. I really tried to be dumber than I was, I skipped questions and gave wrong answers when I was younger but, I was scowled for it so I stopped. I had always blamed my gift for my indifference; if I didn’t have it maybe I could’ve been a normal average grade girl with friends and such. But I can’t undo my gift or the gained knowledge from it.

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That was the first of many days that were awkward. I avoided answering questions asked in my classes after the first week of school. The new school nickname I got was nerd and book worm girl. I kept to myself after the attempt to make friends with Light Yagami; I figured I was better off just being invisible especially after the teachers continuously praised me in front of the class my perfect scores on the tests and quizzes.

When the week of Halloween hit was when I had my first seizer in many years. A group of fan girls gained up on me after school for continuously making them look ‘bad’ in front of Yagami. They were the ‘top’ grade girls before I came in. They called me a slut, whore, cock-sucking ingrate, and many other horrid things; I shrank from their nasty accusing words, whimpering from they might do.

They then went and tore at my clothes and took my gloves and tied me to the school flag pole. They all touched my bare hands and I saw each girl’s miserable life that they had to live.

They were all in highly strict, stressful families and were expected to be the best of the best. When I came into the fray their families got worse. I felt every blow and every smack they had received because of me; I started to sob for the, for the pain I inflicted. I didn’t want to hurt people because of something I was born with; I just wanted to learn and be normal.

They were beyond fury when I started apologizing to them for making them suffer. They untied me beat me to a blood pulp and stripped me naked and hoisted me to the top of the flag pole; they left me there for the next three nights and two days of the weekend. I had several seizers up on the pole and one large one when I was brought down on Monday by the fire department; an old fireman had touched my hands before the ambulance took me and I blacked out.

I was hospitalized for dehydration, weather exposure, and cardiac arrest. I had and still refused to name those did that to me; they would be expelled and disgraced if I did. When I went back to school, those girls were so frighten that I would talk, but I approached them and told them I wouldn’t name them. They did a stupid mistake because they were just overly stressed out and I forgave them. They were shocked at me and left me alone. The rumors that they started however continued to spread and the teachers who pitied me and tried to help me made it worse.

The next incident similar to the Halloween one was in the beginning of the second week of November. I was going to eat my lunch in the auditorium (lunch room) for a change when a group of students surrounded me and battered me with school lunches. I fell to the ground and curled up; sobbing as I was covered in scorching soup, spagatti, peas and other food items, then kicked and stomped on. I didn’t even notice when they stopped and someone start to pick out off the food on me. It was him; Light…he had only gone to the lunch area because he had forgotten to make his own lunch that day; I’m forever glade that he did.

He tried to get the worst of the guck off me before the teachers arrived and questioned me. He even walked with me to the principle and told everything that happened; all my school books had to be replaced because of the damage done to them and the kids that did those things to me were expelled immediately. I was internally grateful to Light that day and every day afterwards for he would accompany me to lunch to insure I would be safe from harassment. I felt so safe with him, like he couldn’t do anything to me that would hurt me till the day he found that god forsaken item.

I had no idea what he had found or what he had at first that day, all I knew was that something was different, wrong. He seemed to have grown colder and more pre-occupied with his thoughts and ignored me more. I tried to get him to talk and tell me what was wrong but, he wouldn’t; insisted that everything was fine. So that is went I decided to take matters into my own hands. I had promised myself never to touch his hands with mine till he knew what I could do and accepted it. That’s when I had to break my promise; I wish now I hadn’t and maybe things would’ve been different, that the outcome would have been better.

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On December first, I had decided to touch his hands. I chose to do the deed during lunch for it was the only time when I could get to him and he didn’t seem as ‘distracted’. I took a deep breath before sitting next to him, watching him intensely.

“Hey Raito-san, I was reading this book and I want to try something on you.”

“Hm?” He met my gaze after drinking his bottle of Coke; waiting to see what I had to show him. I held out my ungloved hand for his.

I smiled anxiously, “I need your hand silly.”

“You want to read my future and tell me my fortune right?” he stared at me amused at my ‘idea’. He rolled his eyes and held out his hand when I pleaded with him in a light tearful voice. My heart raced as I unevenly grasped his hand with my gloved hand, take in a unsteady breath and placed my hand onto his.