Since I feel some of the characters in some of these anime’s have issues I decided to start an advice column. My code name OOKitsune

Dear OOKitsune
I don’t know why you choose that stupid name, but anyway I’ve been having problems with my sexuality and I seem to be having incest thoughts. Even though girls fall at my feet I see myself drooling at a picture of Brad Pitt and Tom cruise. But their just far away crushes, my true love is… I’ll save that for later.
Signed Incest_Emo_Boy


Dear Incest_Emo_Boy
OOKitsune shows how random I am its not stupid, okay [clears throat] Okay first off it says in a holy book we won’t name that incest is a major sin but it seems no one cares. So just come out of the closet.


Dear OOKitsune
Oh my god you’re a fox! Cool, but anyway I’m deeply in love but the person doesn’t notice me. I’ve saved him numerous times but still nothing. So to get rid of the pain I’ve been sleeping with my teacher. Please help?
Signed TeachersLittleKitKit


Dear TeachersLittleKitKit
Holy shit you did what with your what?! [Shakes head] Well juts tell the person how you feel, if your advances are small make them big. If their like seeing Madonna and Brittney Spears French kissing then tell the person. Oh and stop sleeping with your teacher.


Dear OOKitsune
I don’t know why I’m even writing to this stupid magazine it’s a waste of my time but I have to vent my anger. I've been having strange thoughts about a companion I travel with but this person is very young not even in double digits and um well I'm 28 no wait 25. If you have advice give them to or die.
Signed LordOfTheDogs

Dear LordOfTheDogs
-_- are you serious? Stop changing your age because it makes you sound like a pedophile. Second of all, that’s kinda weird and last I don't have any advice for you and you can't kill me.


Dear OOKitsune
I Have a big problem I love this girl but she doesn't seem to notice me. I would risk my life for her even though I'm a bit of a coward and I cry a lot. But I know if she just spends time with me to get to know me but it seems she likes HER better than me. Why can't she see my good qualities. I love her sooooooooooooooooooo much, I remember the time I told her not to push herself and she did anyway. I feel like an invisible wall. Please help I went to Oprah but she just gave me a free car.
Signed Invisible Wall

Dear Invisible Wall
Dude your question was a bit too long save some room for the others. Also stop being a crybaby bitch be a man take control, have some balls. Tell her how you feel before she ends up with [Guy].


Dear OOKitsune
I am an android created to fight Aliens well a certain group of aliens, but my master has been feeding me emotions. When I was first created I slaughtered everyone then once again I was awakened. I killed a man without shedding a tear but my master explained to me that was wrong, what should I do with these feelings?
Signed UnfeelingBlue

Dear UnfeelingBlue
I say kill your master cut all ties but the magazine is paying me a lot to give happy bubbly advice or they're going to sue me. So just be your own human and date that boy yeshunu.... Something!.

Dear OOKitsune
I am richer than you and hotter than you in every way but I am unhappy. My feelings are torn I want to date the blonde haired boy but I also want to date the spiky blonde haired boy, but my little brother keeps getting kidnapped. My money also doesn't seem to coax the boys to me. What should I do?
Signed BriefcaseMan

Dear BriefCaseMan
First off you’re a stuck up bastard..but I bet you already know that. Money won't get them so easily unless their whores. Also you should therapy about the whole brother thing. But if you’re torn just find qualities you see in one boy and compare it to the other. I'm surprised no one has shoved their foot up your ass and I hope you drown from sticking your nose so far up in the air.