Summary: okay, i'll try it again.....i've been gone for a while...
Categories: General Fiction Characters: None
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Word count: 768 Read: 1574
Published: 04/09/07 Updated: 04/09/07
Shakespear and naruto really don't go together... by xrayer2
Author's Notes:
i don't own naruto, or any of the writers mentioned on here. anyone publicly or privately recognized i don't own. unless, of course, you publicly or privately recognize me. then i own myself.
Alfred: JOY! WE'RE BACK! yes, after several tries at posting this, and general me-not-being-here-ness, and..school...*twitch*, akatsuki truth or dare is now back online!
Deidera: you know what, couldn't we just be gone for five more minutes...?
Alfred: no. shut up, go away.
Deidera: OKAY!
Alfred: uh, actually, on second thought, stay here. so, i'm going to go through the whole Rachel/Deadly Dream dare that i've tried to write at least three times...and now, i'm going to follow someone's helpful adivice. this had better work..
Leader: uh, why is there---
Alfred: HA! YOUR NAMES PEIN! I DON'T HAVE TO WRITE YOUR NAME 'LEADER' ANYMORE!!
Pein: crap.
Alfred: hey, if you added a 's' to your name..
Pein: no.
Alfred: are you sure that wasn't on purpose?
Pein: completely.
Alfred: yeah, but--
Pein: i will end you...so help me, i will.
Alfred: uh...kay....
Pein: anyways, why is there a stage behind us?
Itachi: yeah, i was wondering that too...wait, if this is about another stupid game show, i'm telling you right now, HELL. NO.
Alfred: well, for once, this dare has absolutely nothing to do with you...of course, the last part of the dare i didn't read, just for suspense..on my own part. so it might.
Itachi: i will end you...if it's me. if not, you have have a cookie.
Alfred; ooh, a cookie. well, anyway, we shall be doing a high school musical!
Naruto: OH, GOD NO! NO! NO! I REFUSE!!!!
Jiraiya: we must kill that movie with fire and holy water...and frogs.
Orochimaru: the second one wasn't nearly as good as the first one.
*silence*
Orochimaru: uh...i mean, um...hey look, a flying pizza!
Alfred and Naruto: *look up*
Orochimaru: *runs away*
Alfred: ookkkayyy..well, anyways, we'll be doing a..akatsuki clan musical...about...Romeo and juliet!
Sakura: but that isn't even a musical, dumbbutt.
Alfred:....uh...well, i..well, shut up, okay? or i'll rape you in the eye!
Tsunade: what....the hell. how the hell do you do that?
Jiraiya: *grins evily* oh, i could think of a way...
*jiraiya is punched out of the rest of this production by the censoring committee.*
Alfred: i don't really get it...my friend Jake made it up...well, anyway, Rachel sent me a list of parts, but she seems to have forgotten to place in anything but the end scene, you know, they kiss, and they both die. that part. well, here are the characters. Sasuke is deade body A, Sakura is dead body B, and Ino is dead body C...uh, and...
sasuke: dead....body..?
Sakura: then who's romeo and juilet?
Alfred:, hidan's romeo...and..and...*randomly stabs self in the heart, but is unfourtunately unable to* god...stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid creator of naruto..if only that sasunaru kiss scene never happened, this may not have either....
Itachi: oh, i feel so sorry for whatever boy is juliet.
Kisame: wait-BOY?
Alfred: juliet is...neji.
*silence*
Neji: *faints*
LATER......
hidan: no, it's against my religion. no.
Alfred: okay, look. you guys will just make it LOOK like you're kissing, but he'll miss you. nothing can go wrong.
Neji: *inside dressing room*OH, HELL NO! I AM NOT COMING OUT!!
Hinata: uhm, i..i think it look...g-good...
Itachi: *walks out* hehe...that made my day..and scarred my forever...
Tsunade: GET OUT THERE!! *throws Neji out,who is wearing a dress*
Neji:...if you laugh, i will--
Naruto: HAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!! YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAK!! HAHAHAHA!!1
Neji: I WILL END YOU!!!!
ALfred: okay, okay, let's get this over with. ACTION!
Hidan: (lies down, pretending to be dead*
Alfred: *stabs hidan with a large sword*
Hidan: what the HELL was that for?
Alfred: realism. stop complaining, this is movie buisness. action!
Neji: romeo..oh....uh, art thou..forsooth..um...uh...
Alfre:d JUST FAKE THE KISS ALREADY!!!
Neji: *jumps up* no! i wil not--hey...why can't i move my body?
Hidan: me...either..
Random person # 1: yes, violet! i told you that idiot would fall into my trap!
Random person # 2: it worked perfectly, rachel!
alfre:d oh, you're f**king kidding me.
Violet(a vampire's butterfly) and Rachel(Deadly Dream): mind control jutsu, success!
Neji:...oh, god...
Rachel: we have outsmarted you, now, by controlling their bodies against their will, we shall create the ultimate neji hidan yaoi scene ever!
Alfred: WHAT YOU SAY???
Violet: Hah! All your base are belong to us, Alfred! we win! now, go!
Cast: NOOO!!
Neji leaned down towards Hidan, and began to-
Cast: GAHHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!
Hidan then reached down Neji's--
Cast: GAHH!!!!! MY EYES!!!
Neji then slowly rubbed--
CAst: *bashing their heads in with bricks*
Alfred: *gouges out eyes*
And Hidan pulled down Neji's--*insert random scream*--and began to--
And then the world caved in on itself, and the universe was torn apart.
END.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.