Reviews For Shipwreck
Name: niveaus (Signed) · Date: 20/07/07 - 02:14 pm · For: Clare & Z
Cool chapters! I liked how you lengthened the first chapter, and I really like all the details. This is just an idea, but are these characters actually Naruto characters with different names? It's only Shan's stutter that makes me suspicious so far, but I'm going to be reading very carefully for more clues from now on...
______________________________________________
-- Rani : Thanks! That completes my whole day! ((Even though I just woke up)) It makes me happy to know that some read it! And liked it too! But no, these aren't Naruto characters with different names. Yeah Shan is a different character... *wink wink* *nudge nudge* lol Thanks for the review!
Name: niveaus (Signed) · Date: 04/07/07 - 12:52 pm · For: Jake & Jose
Yep, I'd agree with XxanimefanxX. It seems like a good story, but I saw some small grammar errors (I think there should be a comma after 'tree' on the last line). And some of the speech, especially Jake's seemed a little odd - 'What if natives had come' - but perhaps speaking with a strong accent/special style is part of his character? It would be interesting to learn some more about the shipwreck, what the boys relationship on the boat was, if they knew each other, and generally some more information on the characters. Perhaps some of the boys thoughts on each other? That's one way to learn about both characters in one go. But I'm only trying to think of things because you asked! I like the story so far, and am looking forward to more.
______________________________________________
-- Rani : Yeah Jake is supposed to speack strangely or different. I know that I'm not good with my grammer. I'll have to work on that and I'm think of some way to put the relationship that they had on the boat into the story. Thanks for all your help!! ^^
Name: XxanimefanxX (Signed) · Date: 04/07/07 - 12:04 pm · For: Jake & Jose
My advice would be to put spaces in between each paragraph instead of making it one huge block...And also slowing it down a bit and going into more detail...^^ Other than that it could turn into a really interesting story ^^
______________________________________________
-- Rani : Thanks I'll do that I just need to think more about the detail part. Thanks!! ^^