TONFA
The Original Naruto Fanfic Archive

Main Categories

Het Romance [1092]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around different sex couples.
Alternate Universe & Crossovers [651]
Where cast of the Naruto Universe are inserted into an alternate universe.
Essays & Tutorials [17]
An area to submit intelligent essays debating topics about the Naruto Universe and writing tutorial submissions.
 
General Fiction [1739]
Any Naruto fanfiction focused without romantic orientation, on a canon character in the current Naruto Universe.
OC-centric [865]
Any Naruto fanfic that has the major inclusion of a fan-made character.
Non-Naruto Fiction [291]
Self-evident
 
Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance [1575]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around male same sex couples.
MadFic [194]
Any fic with no real plot and humor based. Doesn't require correct spelling, paragraphing or punctuation but it's a very good idea.
 
Shojo-ai/Yuri Romance [106]
Any Naruto fanfiction with the main plot orientating around female same sex couples.
Fan Ninja Bingo Book [125]
An area to store fanfic information, such as bios, maps, political histories. No stories.
 
 

Site Info

Members: 11985
Series: 261
Stories: 5884
Chapters: 25418
Word count: 47689150
Authors: 2162
Reviews: 40828
Reviewers: 1750
Newest Member: Redxkenny
Challenges: 255
Challengers: 193
 


Reviews For Swimming Home

Name: Hinata-Snow (Anonymous) · Date: 01/03/12 - 07:22 pm · For: Land of Waves
The Axel vs Jason chapter is up!

I wonder what mission they had in Wave? I enjoy that they noted little things, like the name of the Bridge. Most of which was canon. The moment between Inari and Naruto was really sweet.

But does this mean that Naruto found a mermaid? I can't wait to see how it develops…

Warm regards, Snow.

Author's Response:

Yay! I'll try and read that with the three days I have on the computer. It sucks when you only have a few days out of the week to come on here.

Oh, the mission was just a simple one. They were to being precious cargo back to Konoha with them. Protecting it from bandits and such. Thx! I worked really hard on Inari's and Naruto's friendship.

Haha, you'll just see....

Thx so much for reading this and reviewing, Gabe!:D



Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 20/02/12 - 02:55 pm · For: Land of Waves
Sheesh. Both you and Silverwolf had Inari in your stories. I feel so left out T_T. Oh well, Inari will arrive in my stories eventually. In the mean time I get to see the adorable little guy in your guys's stories.

This was wonderful. You did a great job with the Naruto cast, and now I'm curious as to what Kairu did to Naruto...... Man, now I really eager to see how this story is going to go. Now that she's met the Naruto gang, I just know it's going to be awesome, though it will be even awesomer when Sasuke comes in. Dang it, I want to read more. Also, how did Kairu come upon the shore? And how did she lose her memory? Okay, I'm going to stop asking questions I want to know the answer to before I make myself want to read more any more.

Overall this was amazing. I saw some mistakes, but that's nothing compared to how much awesomeness I saw. This story is really starting to catch my interest, DestinyGirl, and I can't wait for the next update.

Author's Response:

Haha, I actually like Inari!:P He was a really good character that really developed in the end in Naruto. We didn't see too much of him when he was older, so I was just guessing on how he would respond and act.

...To your questions, it's a terribly long story. One that will be explained bit-by-bit in each chapter of the story. I'm glad I ddin't make it obvious as to what Kairu did to Naruto:P

Thx so much, Sasaui! I'm glad I caught your interest!;)



Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 17/02/12 - 02:12 pm · For: Land of Waves
Yay! Team 7 and the Wave crew are together again! Inari's all grown up and being friends with Naruto and everything. It was just such a happy atmosphere in the first half of the chapter.

Then when Naruto found the girl, who I'm sure is Kairu, I definitely got confused... Well, not really confused, more surprised than anything. I was expecting Sasuke to find her and for her to spend her time with Team Hebi/Taka. Oh well, I guess that's the good thing about an awesome fic, you never know what's going to happen next ^_^

Great job on this, DestinyGirl! I'm really starting to enjoy this. The only problem was a few mistakes in tenses and fragment sentences, but other than that, I loved reading this. Keep up the awesome work!

Author's Response:

Haha, yep! Brings me back to Season Two of Naruto.... Thx, that's what I was aiming for!:D

Haha, I was aiming for confusion and surprise too! ^_^ It's a little spin to things, don't worry we'll get the whole story between Kairu and Sasuke in bits and pieces as the story progresses. 

Thx, I'm glad I didn't disappoint! Yes, I'm still working on those, but thx for pointing them out! Thx so much for your review, Wolf-chan!:D



Name: xkazumix (Signed) · Date: 17/02/12 - 12:53 pm · For: Land of Waves
I like how the story is developing :) Good job. I'll be reading this.

Author's Response: Wow, thx so much! And thank you for reviewing each chapter (even though there's only two, but still!), I really appreciate that:)


Name: xkazumix (Signed) · Date: 17/02/12 - 12:50 pm · For: Prologue - The Song
I love this and since it has one of my favourites: mermaids. I like it more. Keep up a good work.

Author's Response: Thx so much for reading and reviewing!:D Mermaids are pretty awesome ;)


Name: BattyBigSister (Signed) · Date: 13/01/12 - 12:17 pm · For: Prologue - The Song
I'm a little harsh with reviews. I hope someone warned you... I did already tell you I liked this story, so please remember that.
And really, you can't think of a better way to start the new year? How about an edible chocolate bubblebath... with strawberries on lotus leaves... It'd be fun and cleaning up the mess you made will only be nearly as much work as a new story.

o/ Plot development? 8/10
I'm going to start by pointing out something I hope is obvious: that is that a prologue is an intro piece distinct from the main body of a story by being set in a different time or style. I say this because by the time you were done I felt like we were half-way through Chapter 1 as well; particularly with the first section being so distinctively different in style. That could almost have been the prologue in itself (even though it was short). I don't know if the rest of the story is set long after this bit (making this suitable as a prologue), but certainly this felt like a very long slog for an introduction. I also felt that because you had so much in here a lot of things that I would have liked more detail about were glossed over and skipped over, which was a bit of shame.

o/Use of characters? 8/10
Not bad. Some original characters felt a little weak to me (as I said, you seemed a little hurried). They clearly have plenty of depth, but there just wasn't room for characters like Vivaldi to really come out to the level I thought they might have. Sasuke and Kairu on the other hand were both fine.

o/ Description? 7/10
I know you were going for an anecdotal, story-telling style, but I did feel very disconnected from what you were writing at times. I did feel things needed a bit more depth in places. That said, generally you were very good and thoroughly created your own vivid word of under the sea mermaid culture, people and decorations, which was - still - very compelling. I even loved the occasional references to the Disney film.

o/ Inconsistencies with cannon plot? Characters in-character as regards to the original work? 10/10
Nothing to fault in this section, which is also partly because there wasn't much cannon to judge. Sasuke appeared very much himself. I was a little surprised that he bothered with harmless 'warning shots' (it didn't sound like a feasible distance for wonder-boy Sasuke to have missed), but then you haven't yet indicated how early on in his Shippuden downfall that scene was set. The earlier it is the more inclined he is to be merciful. I also feel inclined to remind you that, apart from bijuu, the Narutoverse contains giant talking animals and in some fillers strange ghosts and apparitions and creatures and what-not. Soul-eating mermaids seem pretty easy to explain away...

o/ Overall quality of the writing? Easy to read? Grammar and Spelling? 6/10
Oh honey... You need a beta... like more than I do at the moment, which is impressive. In my notes, I counted: incomplete sentences, run-on sentences, incorrect use of tenses (wasn't instead of weren't) and other grammar mistakes, (such as: 'her and her family' when it should have been 'she and her family'). Some of these things you can get away with... and others, well, they just bring down your writing. To really be able to play and work with language, you need to understand and be in control of it... I know SilverWolf betas, but otherwise maybe you can get one from ff.net?

o/ Enjoyment? An engaging read? 9/10
I did enjoy this. It was very sweet. The soul-eating mermaids were nevertheless charming and very well thought-out. I particularly liked the rather sweet love-at-first-sight stuff and you finished with an amazing cliffhanger too. Nice work!

o/ Overall? 8/10
A lovely, sweet story with the potential to turn out to be deliciously dark and thrilling too. I personally can't wait to see where you take this one. It'd be rather nice to read a Sasuke romance again. I haven't read one in a while...

Author's Response:

Hi, BigSis! I already read your bio, so I understand:) Haha, that sounds really yummy and delightful, I may try that next time:P

Yeah, on the prologue I mainly wanted to get out the feel of the story. Trust me, as the story progresses I'll get more into depth with each character and setting. With this story, I wanted to take things slow.

Yes, this will be an AU so some of the things will be different than what happened in Shippuden. I'm planning to take things to a whole 'nother level, especially with Sasuke.

Actually, I'm really use to writing my own novels and reading novels. So when I started writing fanfictions (because I love them), I just decided to go free-hand and not really care about run-on sentences and incorrect use of tenses. A lot of things I'll change and make better, for the sake of writing, but I do like using some words that aren't words if that makes sense. Because novels are a lot of the time separate from reality. There's a lot you can get away with, I've noticed. But I will try harder next time!

Thanks so much, BigSis! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review, it really helped out a lot!:D



Name: Hinata-Snow (Anonymous) · Date: 10/01/12 - 08:19 pm · For: Prologue - The Song
New chapter!

This is strange cause I'm a guy, but I've always liked the Little Mermaid.

But your story is so fascinating! The idea that mermaids consume souls to stay young…so awesome. And your mermaid is amazingly beautiful! I can't wait to read more about the family and the world of mermaids and how it interacts with the Naruto.

My only problem…Sasuke. I'm sorry, but I am not impressed with him. He has given too much of himself to the Darkness. He cannot be redeemed.

But I love your story! Can't wait to read more. Warm regards, Snow.

Author's Response:

The Little Mermaid is awesome, Gabe! I know plenty of guys who say they like it too. ^_^

Thanks so much! Haha, your making Kairu blush over here... I think as this story progresses, it'll surprise you, so watch out!XD

Yeah, I don't like Shippuden Sasuke so much either... which is why I'm making a fanfic to make him different!

Thx so much!:D



Name: Sasaui Uchiha (Signed) · Date: 08/01/12 - 04:37 pm · For: Prologue - The Song
*Reads story and faints*

Ryu: *sighs and carries over bucket of ice cold water*. Wake up, Sasaui *dumps*

COLD!!!! Oh, right. The story. Thanks, Ryu. Okay, well, now that I'm awake, I shall finally review.

When you said a mythical creature not used oftenly in fanfics, for some reason I never even thought of a mermaid. I'm glad you did because you definitely made it amazing. I'm not really into mermaids. Or, well, wasn't. But then I read this and now I totally love them. You just did it that amazingly.

Kairu is a great character. I absolutely love her. She's just plain awesome and I think the song is perfect for her. I like her adventurous spirit. It just makes her even more amazing. I Aldo think her and reading eyes is very interesting.

I can't wait to see what will happen now that she's going to meet Sasuke. Now that we've seen into Kairu's mind, I am positive her and Sasuke are the perfect oc x canon for this fanfic.

Overall it was an outstanding chapter. I have to give it eight thumbs up. I'm very interested in the story. It was definitely worth the (somewhat short) wait. If I'm going to be a Bestseller (yeah right), they'll have to create a new word for you.

Author's Response:

*facepalm* Thx Ryu, I'm so glad you got her up....

I guess that's a good thing, since you never thought of it.:P Aww, thx! You'e too much, I think I may have made my mermaids a tad scary, (with their eating/survival habits) oh well....

Thx for liking Kairu! Honestly, I have no idea where I get these OC's, I just pick'em out of my head, so I guess their like an alternate version of myself. Scary.... I already told Silver Wolf, but you (and Kairu) probably won't like me for what I'm going to do in the upcoming chapters....

Thx! It's going to be an epic love story, I'll tell you that!:D Since it's Sasuke (and I'm not that used to doing SasukeXOC love stories), I'm hoping it's good. There are some changes I made to the Naruto Shippuden storyline that will be introduced in the upcoming chapters.

Where in the world did you get so many thumbs? Thx so much, Sasaui! Then you'll have to think up that new word yourself, Bestselling buddy!:P Thx for the review, Sasaui!!!:D



Name: silverwolf1213 (Signed) · Date: 08/01/12 - 12:51 pm · For: Prologue - The Song
Wait... It's done already?! Darn it, it was just getting to the good part too...

This was really good. I've read some fanfics that follow the Little Mermaid plotline, but I've never read a story that has a mermaid that ties into the actual Naruto plot. I'm honestly really excited for this :D

I like Kairu so far: adventurous, sweet, inner conflicts, best things about an OC ;)

The song really does tie in very well with Kairu's life. It makes me wonder just how this story will turn out. I'm excited to see it.

Great job on this, DestinyGirl! The first chapter of this story did not disappoint! I can't wait to see where you take this, I'm already thrilled to read more. Keep up the awesome work!

Author's Response:

Don't worry! More will be up soon, I promise!:D

Thx, Wolf-chan! I love the Little Mermaid, but I actually just made up these mermaids myself:P I'm glad you're excited! I'm honestly excited about writing it! ^_^

Thx, I'm really liking Kairu too, though you (and Kairu) probably won't like me for what I am about to do in the upcoming chapters....

Yeah, I've always enjoyed songfics, so I figured.... Why not make a long one with many songs, but it's all tied into one?

Thx again, Wolf-chan! I'm so glad it didn't, you're the best!:D 



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