Real name: People call me BS irl. I kid you not. It's short for BigSister. You may also call me Bats, Batty or Batgirl if you prefer.
Membership status: Member
Member since: 26/03/11
Website: http://battybigsister.webs.com
Beta-reader: No
Because you're never too old for a good obsession... ;0)
Let's see: I'm in my twenties, live in Britain and have all the makings of an arrogant pretentious cow, but I'm not usually intentionally mean. If I come across as a bit too brusque at times then I'd like to apologize, because I didn't mean it that way at all. If I review for you and try to offer constructive criticism - then it's usually because I think you've got talent enough to be able to improve in that area and - much more crucially - because I actually liked your story. If I didn't I'd just hit the back button, so take heart from that even if I am once again being a cow. (Seriously, I try my hardest to watch what I say, but sometimes my underlying rotten personality just sneaks out on me.)
I also try to always do my best in my writing, so when I review I try to review in a way that I would most like to receive. That doesn't mean that I necessarily expect the same back from you. I'm grateful for anything someone who bothered to read my stories has to say, even if it I was just 'I liked this', because after all its great to know that you did. Don't you think?
My favourites things include: writing, reviews, computer games and animals; and you'll often see references to the last one in my writing - especially hamsters (I love my hamsters!) and cats (I come from a cat-crazy family). I also like grammar and drawing, but I'm not very good at either in my opinion.
Check out my website for more details on me and my stories. There are pictures, character bios and all sorts for those of you who are interested.
Something I never really went into on TONFA much before, but am now using more and more is this thing I dubbed "the review" form. It started out as something to help (lazy/busy) reviewers in SWB by giving them simple questions to answer, but gradually it's evolved into a nice easy scoring system that gives a good overview of different elements of a story or chapter and I've begun using it to review other people's story too.
Feel free to use it/something similar yourself if you like. I usually comment under every section, but don't feel like you have to do that. Just the scores is fine as well.
o/ Plot development? _/10
How the story is progressing. Do I thinking more could have been put/in left out? Is the story progressing too fast/slowly? Are event/explanations/etc being skipped that ought to have been explored in more depth? Does everything in it makes sense to me when I read it?
o/Use of characters? _/10
Are the characters (original & cannon) true to themselves? Are characters appearing in scenes, but adding nothing to the story? Is the author giving someone an excessive amount of 'airtime', which doesn't help with the plot or understanding the story)? Conversely are characters being neglected and aspects of their reactions being unnecessarily skipped over? Has someone failed to react to something that they really ought to have said more about?
o/ Description? _/10
Self-explanatory really. Did the author include description? Was there too much/too little of it? It it add value to the story? Did everything feel real and engaging or not?
o/ Inconsistencies with cannon plot? Characters in-character as regards to the original work? _/10
As specific to fanfiction - fanfiction stuff. Does the author show understanding of the established world & its occupants? Are there specific things that don't match up? Is the author flaming or misportraying a certain character?
o/ Overall quality of the writing? Easy to read? Grammar and Spelling? _/10
Basic literacy and quality of English used, as regards to how easy it is to read what has been published.
o/ Enjoyment? An engaging read? _/10
In the simplest terms: do I like what I'm reading? Is it entertaining? And can I connect with what was happening or not?
o/ Overall? _/10
And finally, an overall picture of what I thought of the chapter.
Rated: PG [Reviews - 125]
Any of you have not read Kokoro Uchiha before, a new version called Cygnus Olor is up, so don't spoiler yourselves. =_=. For those of you who have and have been waiting for an update, please go ahead and read the latest chapter; it's an announcement. (no i'm not dropping Kokoro Uchiha) Thank you~
Category: OC-centric, General Fiction > Naruto, General Fiction > Timeless
Characters: All
Genres: Action/Adventure
Warnings: Death
Challenge: None
Series: Kokoro Uchiha
Chapters: 43 | Completed: No | Word count: 86283 | Read count: 62745 [Report This]
Published: 21/07/09 | Updated: 23/06/12
Date: 13/05/11 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Kokoro's Death
The bad dream was a really nice touch. It added a lot of depth to see they were still effected by their parent's death - as they would have to be. You really seemed into get more involved in the story as we got into the darker scenes, but that was highly beneficial as it helped keep the reader moving with the flow of the story. I really felt for Kokoro during this and for Sasuke. The poor boy - this would have hit him twice as hard - and you did a great job showing his breakdown. Oh - and the talking tigers made me smile. How cute! =0D
Author's Response: Yes, rather, I can be a bit morbid at times, LOL. I really liked reading your reviews; they were encouraging yet constructive and pointed out my flaws while making me think I can fix them. Thanks so much for reviewing my story! Haha, yes i guess Luna\'s relatives were cute. It just seems and seemed so natural to me (talking tigers) that thinking back I now feel gigglish.
Date: 13/05/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Memories and the New Life
I don't think Sasuke is out of character at all actually. I think he's in character for how he is before the murder of his family and for how he might have been had he had something (like the survival of his little sister) to prevent him from becoming totally obsessed with nothing but revenge on his brother. Sasuke is a deeply sensitive and introspective character. Being alone with nothing but thoughts of his murdered family for several years before he joined Team 7 would have been much of what made him so cold. Here he can't do that, so I think you're absolutely right in portraying him as a little warmer, especially around his little sister. In this chapter you do a really good job on characters and their interplay as usual. Sasuke and Kokoro come across as a really lively pair of siblings and fun to read about and you bring that out even more with a great use of humour. Love it!
Author's Response: Yeah, it made sense for him to be softer around her to me; I guess self-conciousness made me add that sign along with the idea that Sasuke is OOC with how he is in the story \'cuz he isn\'t so... sweet I guess?, in there. The way you explained it really reassured my feelings and now I won\'t be so self-concious. Thanks!
Date: 13/05/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Sasuke's Worry
See. This was much better in terms of writing style. ;0) It's obvious that you took a little more care here. This was brilliant. Most of it was incredibly touching and sentimental, but plenty of it was just downright funny. It was a good balance and the ending was beautiful. You painted a really touching picture and it was lovely.
Author's Response: Wow, all i can think to say is... Thanks.
Author's Response: Wow, all i can think to say is... Thanks.
Date: 13/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: The Calm before the Storm
Wow! What an eventful ending! It actually took my breath away. This was really good. The beginning was very sweet and it was really touching to see the way the two brothers interacted with their sister. As you said to me before, your writing style is a little too casual in places and could use a little polish here and there - but you know what? This has all the makings of a great story as it is. This seems to be a good plot and you write interesting and engaging characters. Sometimes you need to take a little time to give a little more detail: that's all and there are a lot of people I say that too anyway. You clearly have the makings of good author so do your best and I'm sure we'll see terrific results!
Author's Response: Oh wow, hi BattyBigSister! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my story; i took your advice to heart and my recent updates have been written with your tips in mind. I want to become an amazing author and I need all the help i can get! Thanks!
Rated: 15 [Reviews - 3]
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Fluff (Shonen-ai/Yaoi), Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Warned (Shonen-ai/Yaoi), Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Angst (Shonen-ai/Yaoi), General Fiction > Timeless, Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Top Pairings > Naruto and Gaara
Characters: Gaara, Naruto Uzumaki
Genres: Angst, General, Humor, Romance, Spiritual, WAFF
Warnings: Drabble, Sexual Themes, Yaoi
Challenge: None
Series: Monsters Can Love Too
Chapters: 3 | Completed: No | Word count: 730 | Read count: 5229 [Report This]
Published: 25/10/09 | Updated: 30/01/10
Date: 19/06/11 Title: Chapter 3: Gaara's Mental Journal Update
Heheheheheheheheheheee. Funny.
Date: 19/06/11 Title: Chapter 2: Gaara misses Naruto
How beautiful. A very touching little poem.
Date: 19/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Naruto Misses Gaara
Very cute. He is being surprisingly wordy.
Rated: R18 [Reviews - 1]
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Warned (Shonen-ai/Yaoi), General Fiction > Post-Naruto, Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Top Pairings > Naruto and Gaara, Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Fluff (Shonen-ai/Yaoi)
Characters: Gaara, Naruto Uzumaki, OC
Genres: Graphic lemon, Romance, WAFF
Warnings: Sexual Themes, Yaoi
Challenge: None
Series: Monsters Can Love Too
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 2194 | Read count: 1515 [Report This]
Published: 30/01/10 | Updated: 30/01/10
Date: 19/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Seven
Very cute ... and very colourful. I enjoyed your descriptions and the use of colour to bring out the mood. The idea was great and rather novel. A very nice little story.
Rated: 18 [Reviews - 1]
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Fluff (Shonen-ai/Yaoi), Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Angst (Shonen-ai/Yaoi), Alternate Universe & Crossovers > Minor AU, Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Top Pairings > Sasuke and Naruto
Characters: All
Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Fantasy, Graphic lemon, Humor, Romance, WAFF
Warnings: AU, Yaoi
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 | Completed: No | Word count: 11389 | Read count: 1594 [Report This]
Published: 01/02/10 | Updated: 01/02/10
Date: 19/06/11 Title: Chapter 3: Adjustments
You know, that was brilliant! I was a little skeptical at first, but by the end I couldn't keep the smile off my face. It was so funny! You have a nice writing style and write so fluidly I barely noticed the chapters passing. Please tell me you plan to update this at some point?
Rated: 15 [Reviews - 1]
SasuNaru, or I suppose it should probably be NaruSasu, but no sex or anything :] And a slight hint at ChojIno, but only for humor, no details at all.
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Top Pairings > Sasuke and Naruto
Characters: All
Genres: Humor, Romance, WAFF
Warnings: Yaoi
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 3481 | Read count: 2987 [Report This]
Published: 17/03/10 | Updated: 17/03/10
Date: 19/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Heaven Is Nothing Without You
So... no Choji/Ino details at all, huh? Next thing we know 'topless', 'his hand on her left breast'...
Moving on. I enjoyed this. I felt your writing could have used a bit more expansion to create a better flow, but otherwise it was quite an enjoyable little idea and you managed to make it quite funny.
Rated: 18 [Reviews - 21]
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Warned (Shonen-ai/Yaoi)
Characters: Kakashi Hatake, Naruto Uzumaki
Genres: Dark, Graphic lemon, Romance
Warnings: Dark, Sexual Themes, Yaoi
Challenge: None
Series: None
Chapters: 16 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 47886 | Read count: 14271 [Report This]
Published: 01/04/10 | Updated: 01/04/10
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 11: Dealing
Exciting! I can't wait to see what happens next.
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 5: An Unforeseen Complication
Interesting chapter. Not what I was expecting at all, but that just made it more interesting... ;0)
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 6: One Day
Another very interesting chapter. It's good to see you're getting into this now you've started to develop the plot. ;0)
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 7: Unsettling Situations
Very nicely written. There is nothing more to say. ;0)
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 8: Another Complication
Awesome twist! Now that I loved!
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 9: Feelings, make them stop!
Wow! I didn't see that coming either... but then maybe I should have.. Well - wow!
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 10: Unanticipated
Very interesting chapter. ;0)
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 13: New Warmth
*giggles* Awww bless - Naruto wastes no time, does he? He seriously needs to stop being such an arse and sort out the Sasuke thing though. It's making me feel sorry for the Uchiha. No, wonder the Uchiha abandoned him for Orochimaru - I damn well would too... (Yes, I do get that all of the above was intentional on your part - and in fact a reflection of your very good character protrayal. Naruto simply doesn't have that level of emotional development... and neither does Sasuke... I just felt the need to say it anyway.)
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
A rather interesting twist on Naruto, but not a bad start at all. My first impression of your writing style is quite good too.
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 2: Irritating Situations
Well, you can certainly write a twisted personality - and that was nothing if not twisted - but there was a lovely mix of subtle 'other stuff' in his interactions with people that made this incredibly enticing. I hope for more Naruto/Sasuke scenes - it's one of my favourites, as conformist as that is.
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 3: Waiting in the End
Well - you've answered two of my questions. One - what's the actual point of acting like an idiot all the time? and Two - How the heck are you gonna make this Naruto steal the scroll? I was generally quite impressed with your take on the whole thing. The 'idiocy is a mask' idea was better handled than in many things I've read... and the scroll reasoning was awesome. Although I did feel like you could have given a few more details here and there, as things occasionally felt a little glossed over, but overall: nice work!
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 4: A Brief Reprieve
Well that was an interesting twist of a chapter. I rather liked it though... Bless little Sasuke. You have a lovely take on him, 'full of shit' indeed. ;0)
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 15: Knowing Your Place
Not a bad chapter. The Sharingan thing had already occurred to me, but I was hoping Sasuke had managed it without going insane... Oh well... Sucks for him, doesn't it?
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 12: Back to Square One
Well... that was... interesting. Kyuubi's a moron today... so are Naruto and Sasuke. What happened to Kyuubi's apparent precognition? He really should have been better than that... =0/
Date: 15/08/11 Title: Chapter 14: Breakthrough of an Unexpected Kind
Well, Naruto-kun falls in love quickly, doesn't he? Nice chapter though.