I hope you get this review. I mega like your oneshot. I have read most of DropDeadThenDance's story, so this was fun. I really like your writing style. It's nice and clean, unlike mine. T_T UzamakiMasumi

Author's Response: Thanks. ^^ I might rewrite this oneshot and make it longer and better. No! I really like your writing!

I just realized, this is the last chapter, and then I'm caught up. I can officially say that I am prepared to write my story for the contest! XD

Shikamaru-kun's jutsu?

So I'm getting eleven thousand and thirty-one words when I copy and paste onto Word. That certainly did get pretty long, eh, Sasa-chan?

Kogane. Ko. Ga. Ne. I keep trying to say Kagone because of Kagome. X3

I figure this chapter's actually rather recent-ish, so I should be allowed to point out mistakes and whatnot now, nee?

“Sentou!” The man who had cried out wore a dark green shirt with the sleeves rolled all the way up and blue pants. He stepped forward, his sandaled foot making a slight thud. His darker green hair fell in spikes over his face, slightly obscuring his vision. But it didn’t make what he saw any different.

My problem with this paragraph is actually the first two sentences. There are two ways you could have done this that would have been better than what you did do, which by the way I've seen you do before but ignored because it was old writing that I had assumed you would have quite doing by now. What you've got here is an awkward transition from dialogue to description of the dialogue. The first option would have been to switch up the descriptive sentence a bit, and adding the simple "he said", such as:
"Sentou!" a man (suddenly) shouted. He wore a dark green shirt with the sleeves rolled up and blue pants. When he stepped forward, his sandaled foot made a slight thud....
The other option, the one that I prefer and is also simpler, would have been as simple as breaking it up into two paragraphs, like so:
“Sentou!”

The man who had cried out wore a dark green shirt with the sleeves rolled all the way up and blue pants.

This buffer of starting a new paragraph actually creates the transition between the dialogue and the rest of the story quite nicely, without distracting from what you were trying to achieve at all. Also, I think it should be noted that with the first option of keeping it one paragraph I also adjusted the third sentence a bit to keep things smooth.

Next thing. Are these two guys, Sentou and the other one, going to be important and major later on in this arc, or are they one time deal kind of guys? Because, as I see being only a couple paragraphs into the chapter so far, they don't seem to me like they are going to be major, but maybe I will be proved wrong as the chapter goes on. My point being, and we've already noted that this is a problem of yours, is that if these guys aren't going to be important later on, you've put in too much description, or maybe just the wron description in for them. The dark green hair thing is fine, as that's a reacurring feature that seems to be different and possibly a characteristic of these folks from what has been read so far. From the description of their outfits, I can gather that these people seem to wear more neutral, earthy colors that suit the forest they live in? And their hair color seems to contribute to this feel as well. So, if I'm correct and you want to make that noted for the reader, then say that, what I said. The first man's description wasn't so bad, though I think that making a point to mention that his sleeves were rolled up was unnecesary and made the sentence slightly awkward. The second man, Sentou's, description, though, was definitely over the top. He had a more detailed outfit, which caused you to distract from the actual story in order to describe it. A simple sentence like Just like the first man, his clothes were of earthy tones, down to his ninja sandals. There, I even got in the fact that he wore ninja sandals without adding it in awkwardly. Remember. This is not a manga. This is not an anime. This is not a TV show. This is not a comic. This is a novel, writing. What sets writing apart from these other things is that it is NOt visual. It demands that the partaker in this form of entertainment work and think to form the image in their mind for themselves. It's a beautiful thing, truly, and when you just lay it all out like that you take that away from the reader. And these descriptions don't even fit in smoothly, anyway, which takes away from the reading experience. Think about it. In anime and manga and regular TV, do they take specific time to show you all of the details of the person's outfit? No. That would slow the flow of the story down. It's just something we see as the story goes along. With writing, if done properly, a person's or setting's imagery description can be the same. It will enhance the experiment, helping the reader picture the people, the things, the places, the mood, and so on much better. But if done improperly it can drag you out of the story and make falling into that imaginary world more difficult. The easiest way to do this improperly is to give too much description on something that doesn't need that much description.

The person before him was clocked, making both their gender and their appearance unknown. Sentou was just slightly taller than the other person, but that was all that Sentou could tell. I'm assuming you mean cloaked? Also, the use of Sentou twice in that sentence is awkward. I would suggest using he the second time in such a situation in the future.

This fight is interesting. I like it. You don't get all the details, but that's not really the important part here, is it? And it's good. Smooth, kind of, sophisticated's not the right word, but something similar? Gaaaa, the English language doesn't have enough words to describe everything I try to explain.

They had a great meaning, he knew that, but he sucked at matching eyes to faces. It wasn’t until the person spoke he knew who stood before him. Man, you were really getting this good feeling going, the one I attempted to explain up above. *points upward to previous paragraph* But then you ruined it all with one word. I was on this total high in this really mysterious, nice, slighlty.... that feeling.... world, and then suddenly it was this whole crash and burn thing, ruining the mood you had built up. And the word that did this? Sucked It just, that's such a crude, lower life form word (that I do use but not in these situations) that doesn't fit in. It would have been better to say, but he was terrible at matching... or something similar.

..................... Or maybe these dudes would be more important. =_= Yet my point about the awkward descriptions further up still stands, though. Even if a more detailed description was called for, it was inadequately done and could use some work.

You know, you really do have a way of setting up these really serene images with the start of a scene. And I've also noticed that with these last few chapters you've been getting in these special observations of things that many writers wouldn't think of but really help to complete the picture. As I'm sure I've said before, this kind of writing is my utmost favorite in the world. I'm a girl of observation, of thought, of focusing on those little things and seeing beauty in it, so when I find a writer that can actually give me the little quirks of life like that in their writing, I will, well, I will praise them to no end. I think you have the potential to become one of these writers. I don't think you will be fully detail to the extreme as some are, such as Peanut, but you will definitely fall under this category. For a real, already established author who can do this, you may want to consider looking up Pearl S. Buck. She was raised in China because her parents were missionaries, and as an adult was a missionary there herself. She also was in Japan for a time and I believe South Korea possibly as well. She died decades ago, but her works are well known. She wrote about Asian folks and Asian culture, as she saw it growing up in it, and she was a huge advocate in closing the distances between the East and the West. East Wind, West Wind is a notable work of hers that actually hits on a bit of that if I'm remembering name correctly to the story. I've read a number or her novels and at times confuse which title goes with which story. =_=

Is who watching Ryu right now!? Is who truly gone!?

"He would prefer people only speak the truth. There were times, however, where people spoke what they saw as the truth too much and ended up eventually hurting someone." My thoughts exactly. :)

Sorry. I suddenly feel rather tired, so for the rest of the chapter, I may or may not be as observant as I have so far. Still, I SHALL finish the chapter! And we move on. :P

Owh! Demonic puppies again! Heheh. X3

Tis really bugging me about Ino's problem. I want to know! Is this something in the manga or a thing or your own creation? Tell me!!!!

Hmmmm. I do like that you point out the danger of cigarettes while at the same time eliminating the repetition of the actual word, but I do think you take it a little far sometimes. Don't do it too much, you know? Sometimes just sticking to good old fashioned "a cigarette" is nice in its simplicity and familiarity.

That very morning seemed to approach both too slow and too fast. Too fast because Ryu needed more sleep and too slow because he wanted to rid himself of his haunted dreams. Despite he felt like he was lacking sleep, Ryu still forced away most of the lingering tiredness so that he could get everything done. Asuma seemed to notice his occasional falter where he’d stop whatever he was doing because a new wave of exhaustion hit him because he approached him and questioned him on his wellbeing. Since it was Ryu, he lied and claimed to be fine.
Very awkward paragraph. I know what you wanted to say it, but each sentence was still a bit confusing to read or at the very least awkward. Despite THAT he felt like... would have fixed that sentence very easily, but that last sentence, OMC, it's confusing and also a really bad run on sentence.

I really want to hear those birds sing, I do. Too bad it had to be interrupted for Ryu by trouble, eh?

Reading about this forest and all, the image that comes to mind is the forest in Princess Mononoke Ancient, huge, mysterious, and beautiful.

And here we have the introduction of characters again with too much description. Saying simply that the group wore basic shinobi attire should be enough. Now with the guy with the open vest and scars, I like the mention of that, but I don't care about the rest of his clothes. Something like this would have been preferable: The taller of the two wore nothing but an open vest on top, revealing a myriad of scars (optional: on his chest) and making his already intimidating figure scarier. I honestly probably wouldn't have even put in the clothing description for Yuumai. The rest of her description is fine and muchly appreciated, but the clothing description is unnecessary and not traditionally included in writing. It distracts and doesn't really matter. The fact that she was holding is important, though, obviously.

I feel like blanking is a bad thing and should not be done! You should never willingly do something that will cloud your judgement, Ryu! You may regret it. *stares sternly* Also, you've only just become a genin not that long ago! You've got a long time to learn! Don't think stupid things like you alone aren't enough!

How does Lord Daichi know Ryu or rather more likely of Ryu? O_o

Hmm, maybe I've been kind of picky today. But I think that's necessary if you really want perfection. And this review's even super longer than usual because the chapter's longish plus I decided to hit you with improvements instead of just my normal reactions since this was a newer chapter.


Out,
Masumi TAT

Author's Response: Holy. Cow. Long. Review. *sigh and hangs head* Here goes nothing. Like Saku-chan, you are correct. It was Shika-kun. I didn't mean for it to be that long - promise. Haha. Yeah, originally when I saw that I thought of Kagome. Though that is not the name. As you said, it is Kogane. Well, it's not like I can stop you from pointing out mistakes since you already did. Thanks for the help. I'm trying to work on description a lot. It seems to be an area I'm putting too much information in. And also it's nice to know how to transition better. Again, thanks for your help on this. *facepalm* Like I said, you need to learn to trust me, Niji-chan. I know somewhat what I am doing. Oops U^_^. I meant cloak, yes. And I think I just had a momentarily lapse because usually I feel weird doing what I did in that sentence and would normally write he rather than Sentou. Again, oops. You're right. The English language needs more words. Maybe we should create some and then make our own dictionary with the words in them XD. Gah - my own mental thoughts slipped into the writing. I am trying to work on word choice, and you're right. That particular word choice wasn't very good. I'm sorry for ruining the, uh, feeling. I'll try to watch out for it later (as you should since you're my beta =P). I do? Really? Wow...... I don't think I've ever even noticed it. I probably do it on accident actually *scratches back of head*. Since this is on accident, I cannot promise it will be done in the future as well, though seeing as it appears to be a habit of mine, I predict it will occur again. Haha. You don't get to know who Ryu is thinking about yet! Muwhahahaha! Yep. That's when people should just bite their tongues. Yep. The demonic dogs are back. They really hate Ryu and it's so fun to randomly throw them in XD. They shall be back, that I promise you. If I don't forget XP. So maybe not so promise as much as hope to do. Why, it is my own creation of course. Adding in stuff is always so fun. As to what it is, though, something else you will have to wait to find out. Oops. My bad again. I'll keep that in mind since it'll obviously come up again seeing as Asuma smokes a lot. Yeah, I tend to write what I think. As you can see with this paragraph, that isn't always the best. I'll need to watch for that more and maybe (just maybe) read over my own stuff before I post it/send it to you. Well, I had to have that happen because I didn't know how else to describe them U^_^. Princess Mononoke is awesome! I feel so accomplished having something of mine compared to that T^T. I'm starting to do that less and just making basic reference to it if I can, though sometimes it has to do with stuff as you have seen in the newest chapter preview I sent you. Like with Hime? That pink thing is a key feature to her, seeing as her nickname is Pink Princess. I know I'm at least doing better. Just not sure how much better....... Well, I've always found blanking to be when I fight best, and although it can be dangerous, it can be helpful. So I know from experience how it turns out. And yeah, it may be stupid for him to do that, but it was necessary, as you'll see next chapter I believe. Again, trust me, Niji-chan XP. *facepalm* Since you already pointed out you remember who he is, I shall not say a word to that. Nitpickiness is needed sometimes, so thanks for it. And yes, it was very very long. Then again, as you said, so was the chapter, so I guess that is partially my fault, huh? Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing, Niji-chan!

Merry Christmas to you, too! ;)

You know, I think I'm finally getting used to these longer chapters of yours, Sasa-chan. Or this chapter is shorter than most. Not sure which it is. XP Also, I actually read and reviewed this early enough that I wasn't dead tired, thus the nice long review like they should be. ;)

I muchly like the beginning of the chapter. I like those prettyful imagery things. That's actually the main reason I love Peanut's writing so much. It's just beautiful and whatnot. And you hit something like that in your beginning. It was just enough to catch me but not it wasn't too much or leave your normal writing style. It just really suited Ryu-kun, I think.

I also greatly liked the morning practice fight thing. It wasn't exactly a fullout battle. It moved more slowly and seemed more relaxed, and that actually in a way made it even nicer or more appealing than usual. Yeah. Inspires me to attempt figuring out how to write fight scenes again instead of just avoiding them as I usually do. =_=

Becoming a shinobi is so important for Ryu. Like, you can just really feel it, and it makes you really really want him to pass and worry about whether or not he will. And what the forehead protector means to Ryu, how he truly understands its seriousness and importance, that is something I really liked. But, I find myself wholeheartedly rooting for him in a way I don't usually root for fictional characters. And I find hi jutsu skills interesting, I do. That's rather cool and fun and different, which helps to make him stick out in your mind. I feel like no matter where this story goes, whether if flops or continues to be amazing, Ryu is a character one will never forget.

Demonic doggies who like Ryu-kun better than mailmen. X3 Well, of course. Ryu's just so adorable! XD

Ah, and the dramatic love quadruple officially begins! It's no longer a trio! There's Sasuke now as well! Poor poor Ryu-kuuuun. I still love you! Ah, and the banter between Ryu and Naruto, it reminds one of the closeness of the two and thus the sad sad fact that they both heart Sakura. Ah, the poor boys.

"And of course we know Naruto is going to fail the test. So what will happen? Will Ryu get dragged into Naruto's mess with Mizuki and the scroll and whatnot? Owh, how I'm curious about how you will play this out." These were the thoughts that ran through my mind with the start of the test and the announcent of what it would be. I had figured that Ryu would try to comfort Naruto, but I hadn't expected it to take the twist that it did, Ryu telling Naruto a bit about his past. It was a good way to incorporate this without just giving it to the readers straight up. In most cases, attempting to dump a huge explanation on the reader all at once doesn't work out too well. I'm glad that you didn't attempt to dig into Naruto's situation too much, though. That generally gets messy and awkward as it's not really something you can just add an extra person into it.

Mm. The Sakura inserts wer cute. No, they were more than cute. It was.... really nice. Special. I mean, sure, it's still got the evil Sasuke there, but it really solidifies the relationship between Sakura and Ryu for us.

I must say, I like the team you put Ryu in. It works nicely I think. He fits into that team far better than Team 7, which would have been the stereotypical thing to do for most people attempting a story in this time period and situation. I am a little hesitant about Asuma being his team leader sensei thing. I don't know. He's just already so close to Ryu and whatnot, it would make me as the person making teams, hesitent to make him Ryu's sensei.

There is one thing I'd like to point out. Yes, Iruka has a scar on his nose. Yes, it is a bit of a trademark for him. Yes, we want to find ways to mention people without simply using their name to switch it up. But I think you use the description "scarred chunin" far too often. It's almost like you're using it as a real replacement for his name at times. So just cut back on that a bit, nee?

Oh, and another thing that you do most everytime. You put too much description into introducing new characters. I was reminded of this with Ryu's new outfit description. With manga, image and clothing and all that is really important. It's just not in fiction. I mean, sure, you want to know a bit about what they're wearing but not everything. Writing leaves the imagination to the reader. That's what so special about it. And you especially don't need such a large description with smaller characters, which you still do. Take some time read more actual novels and pay attention. Pay attention to the amount of description they give to new characters, both major ones and minor ones, as both are different. I've learned most of my improvements in my writing by studying the novels that I read. It helps a LOT.

I would also like to say that your writing has greatly improved from the last chapter. It's becoming mre defined, smoother. There are still mistakes of course, but it's definitely becoming more finished feeling. What I'm mainly speaking of here, though, is that it's really starting to gain its own personality. I mean, you've got a long way to go before it really screams you, but it's getting there. A lot of people can write. Learning how to write fiction really isn't all that hard. The true writers, the ones that make it, are the ones who can personalize it and stand out from the crowds. They're the ones that when having a piece of their's thrown in with a bunch of other author's works, you can tell which piece belongs to that writer. That's what you want to aim for, Sasa-chan. Make it yours, and you will be gold.

Author's Response: Haha. So it turns out this one is nine months old. Well, at least it helps me keep track of how old everything is. I'm going to need to start adding in the little dates at the bottom so I can tell how long I write things to see how much I have improved =P. Now this is the review I have grown used to associating with you. I don't know why - it just is. Actually, concerning length, this is around the regular amount of words it has. This seems to have chapters around 7000 words. The first chapter to break that in about three in a row is the next chapter which, again, I wish you luck in. It is more than double this...... Sorry! Haha. Yeah - I think the other reviews were based off of how tired you were, because, again, this seems more like a review I would get from you. Have you always said Ryu-kun, or is that a new thing? Because to tell the truth, I cannot remember =P. Actually, I believe the best I have done is...... It is either Zero to Hero or the one you have already read (Nature's Wonder). I am not sure which one people liked more. But my imagery does get a bit better. I think I tend to write better in Third PoV, though I am not at all sure why. With fighting scenes, I just write what I see in my head. Or at least attempt to. What is in my head tends to be cooler. I think unintentionally I did develop him in this chapter. As in I hadn't even planned it. It just kinda, well, flowed. Wow. I wonder, remembering me writing that, just how foolish Masumi would think of him. But yes, his village - his family - is very important to Ryu. I think you can see more of this later on during his first...... His first MAJOR major battle. You'll see more of it then. But I can't really tell you what happens, so =P. I enjoyed developing the jutsus he has. I just like his for whatever reason. Yes, those doggies are very demonic. I think they make another appearance..... Or was that in this same chapter? I can't remember. Haha. Ryu is blushing again ;). Yep. I need to find a way to show that love thing more sometime in the future. I don't think I have enough. Especially since Ryu knows that Naruto likes her but he doesn't know Ryu likes her. It's fun having those two together. I'm very eager to write a certain scene with these guys. It's going to be so much fun! But yes - I am going to have to think of how that will play more into it. Now I want to think up of a fight scene between those two that I am sure will never happen =P. Nope. Though I did do that with Sasaui's old story, though I doubt I'd do it with the new one...... I actually managed it nicely, but for this, Ryu had no place without just dumping a character in there. With Sasaui's, it showed something for later on. Ryu? Nope. Nada development for the plot. Really? I did not have that scene planned out at all. It was another one of those things that just kinda flowed out. Now that I think of it, though, I am very glad that I did it. I am also glad that you liked it. Yeah, I was using the promise thing to show that bond that had grown as well as show that she still felt the affects from two years ago. That...... Being kidnapped at a young age is not something you can forget. Neither is the bond you formed with the other person. And yet Sasuke is still there. He just has to be for now =P. Nope. No Team 7 for him, though I am sure he would be very happy about that. Well, it is actually because of their closeness it is best for Asuma being the sensei. He, as well as the Hokage, are the only people in all Konoha who know of his past and secrets. So he is the only one who can truly be there for him. If it had been anyone else, they wouldn't know what to expect if anything bad happened. Such as, as you read, Asuma stopping Yuumai from taking off the ring. If that had been someone else, the ring would have come off, and, well..... Yeah. *facepalm * Oops. I'll have to watch for that in the future. I KNOW! I AM SO SO SORRY! As I told Saku-chan, I am still trying to find out just how well to do description. Haha. That's actually how I improved a lot over the years - simply reading. It's really nice having you tell me this, though. Wow...... I think that just made my slightly sad day. I feel really honored that you would think I could even be close to doing something so great with this. What's funny is I started this for the simple fun of it after, I believe, watching Prince of Persia. And then it spiraled into this..... Ryu truly has taken his story far, and I hope you continue to enjoy reading about him. I am also glad that you see him as a character that stands out as well. Really, I thank you for this review. It made me happier than I'm sure you believe. Thank you, Niji-chan. P.S. It took me so long to write this it logged me out =P.

I AM THE READER WHO DOESN'T LIKE LONG CHAPTERS!!!! But it's worth it, I suppose. *rolls eyes good naturedly* Although, I must say, this chapter was not up to par with what I've been reading so far. The fact that you apparently rushed through and had difficulty writing this does show. So I guess that's just something to remember. If you're having a hard time writing a chapter or section of a story, don't just rush through it to get it over with. Take the time, the extra time over and above usual, to make sure that you have something good there. As a professional author someday, what will be expected of you is excellence, no matter what, and sometimes in order to achieve excellence one must work harder. Giving the excuse of, 'this was harder to write than usual' won't cut it. They'll send it back to you and tell you to do it over again, which will actually take more time and energy in the end. Never settle for okay. Always aim higher, aim for your best. I will say that as the chapter went on, it did get better, though.

Other than the technical aspects of the chapter, the awkwards and whatnot, it was good. The concepts and ideas, the actual events, the emotions, I loved them. It was touching. It was a bit sad and distressful, especially in the beginning, but it was also thought provoking. It hit me, and, it was portrayed in a way that makes one feel like they can really understand and connect to these people and what they're going through even though we never ever could possibly really experience it. And that's really cool and really hard to achieve. Not too long of a review. I'm starting to think that with these super duper long chapters of yours it's easier for me to just read it mostly instead of nitpicking at everything, thus the shorter reviews. Or it could be that I know these chapters are super duper old so that it'd be pointless to nitpick at a lot of the stuff. Or it could be a combination of both. *shrugs* O_o

Out,
Masumi TAT

Author's Response: Sorry sorry sorry sorry *bows repeatedly*. Though you are really going to hate Right Before My Eyes. It's only 2000 words off from 15,000 words...... Really? Because I quite liked this chapter, as did others. I am surprised that you saw this one as lesser than the others. Yeah, I know. But..... When I say I have difficulty with the chapters, it tends to be because I just can't get what I see in my mind on the screen, and then it becomes harder to really type because I can imagine things so much better than what I could type. Eh. Professional life is going to be so much fun =P. Though you are right. I shouldn't have done that. I hope you can help me not do it anymore. My best? What if I don't know what my best is? I am so glad you liked it! I was a little afraid it was a disappointment =P. It seems like most people liked that stuff about it. So, well, yeah! I seem to do that more often recently, and I always seem to actually make people like the characters. Even I really like Kohaku after just doing this. It would be quite fun, I think, to write some little story think for him and put it into The Lost Stories. Well, that, or you were just super duper tired like you said in FFW *shrugs*. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what you read from here (which I already know you did =P).

Longish longish. Let's see if I can get it all down in one setting and how long this review gets. This is an older chapter, right? Like, what, 2 years old? So it's not like I'll be picking at mistakes since it's so old and you've improved so much. So, that being, the review might be shorterish since it will only be mostly fun comments at things I liked or suspiciousy things. *waves arms around dramatic and creepy like*

Man, I'm still jealous of your ability to write battle scenes, especially considering that this stuff is really old! The relationship between Shiro and Hana is clearly very different from that of Anko and Oro-chi, but the dynamics between the two kind of reminded me of the scene in the Forest of Death. Although, at the same time, it's totally different, too. it just in a way seemed slightly similar. Anywho, I liked it muchly.

At first after the diamond thingies I thought immediately that the girl was Sakura. Then I got confused at the outfit description for a few moments. Took me a bit to think back to before Shippuden and remember what her old outfit was like. But then I was still like, wait, that's not right... Then I realized she was really young and looked up her kid outfit and was like, yeah! I get it now! *rolls eyes*

Drumroll please! And here enters Kono-kun's future scarf! XD Heheh, so fun. I wasn't exactly expecting Ryu and Naruto to be friends, so this is an interesting development. It was also really nice seeing who Ryu is from Sakura's perspective, especially since I know that he has a crush on her later on. And now knowing that Naruto and Ryu are friends and they both like Sakura.... Oh, the drama! XD

Why does Ryu know Shiro!? WHY!? ........ Why is Shiro's last name the same as Ino's!? Why are they all connected to Shiro somehow!? And yet I like him even more now. X3 Great and captivating chapter, Sasa-chan. On to the next chapter.

Out,
Miya-chi TAT

Author's Response: You think this is longish? This is one of the shorter chapters, so just wait until you get to Right Before Your Eyes. Yes, this is about two years old. Maybe a couple months less. Actually, the review is a pretty nice size, so don't worry. Really? Because I still don't see why anyone would think they're so good. They seem a lot better in my head than what I write. Hm..... I can definitely see what you mean. Now that I think about it, they are very similar. Haha. That's funny. Well, I was trying to give her age with her clothes description. I guess that doesn't help too much if you don't know her clothes at a younger age, though XD. I'm sorry for the confusion. I'm surprised Ino's clothes description didn't confuse you as well then. Yeah, I don't think I ever added that into the story. Maybe I will later. I don't know. At first, I didn't really have anything planned when I made them friends. I think it was mostly caused by TG. Though it is the main reason Ryu doesn't try to make it obvious. He doesn't want Naruto to know. He knows Naruto has the crush, but Naruto doesn't know he does as well. This is going to be so much fun XD. Haha. You'll get your answers to that later, so enjoy reading it, Niji-chan. I hope you like it.

Romance novels! Sorry. I didn't read the chapter yet. I just wanted to be the first reviewer and also to be the first one to answer the question, especially since I usually fail at the questions. :3 I'll read the chapter later since I've to return to my den now. New roomie will be here soon. Out, Niji-chan ^_^

Author's Response: I think it was, to be exact, teen romance novels, but basically, yes. Well, whenever you do get to reading the chapter, I hope you enjoy it.

I really like how you've developed Ross's character. To be honest, her angsty personality pissed me off at first, but I knew it would be worth it to stick it out. She's really maturing and becoming more real with each passing day.

I've been meaning to get around to these stories for a while now. And I finally have! I really like the prologue. It's full of suspense and mystery. I'm going to try to read this and Broken Wings at the same time.

Oh! Yami's so cute! I love stories that give Gaara a companion even though they change what he will become so much. They're just too cute. ^_^ But seriousness from children! It's a sad life a child must have to be that way.

And that last paragraph! Ah! I must know more! XP

Author's Response:

Oh, wow, thanks so much!:D It totally surprises me when I get a new reader, I love it! ^_^ Thanks so much for your kind words. In BtD, it'll actually look more into the prologue in either the next new chapter or the one after that.

Thanks, I rarely ever find stories like that, and when I do, they're all unfinished:( Yes, yes it is.

Haha, thanks so much!:D

"This is MY birthday gift to you all!" I love that. I'm reviewing on my own story. It feels kind of weird. But I didn't write this chapter, so whatever!

This is obviously not my first time reading this chapter, but it still made me all giggly inside! Yes, your creepy writing makes me feel giggly. I know I have issues. Creepy voice! Who is it!? I know! Hahahahaha. Okay, I also totally loved that you incorporated that verse at the end of the chapter just like you did in the previous version.

Yeah. I probably won't be doing this for all of the chapters, but I just wanted to do it this time since it was your first upload. Kay.

Out,
Sumi-cha TAT

Author's Response: Thanks Sumi-cha! Likewise to yourself I won\'t be reviewing anymore... But I can still read your stuff, so ha! Down with the like list! Sorry... That was completely unrelated... My creepy writing SHOULD make you all giggly inside.

Not a pairing I would have come up with, but I saw this on the recent items list, saw it was only rated 15, and decided to give it a go. I must say, this was very cute and has made me see this pairing in a very good light. I enjoy your writing style, and it compliments Shikamaru's attitude on life very well. All in all, it was a very nice oneshot.

Last chapter for the night. Probably. I wanna try to read some other fanfiction as well and get in some more homework time. Also got like five chapters in my notebook that need to be typed up. >__>

Anywho! To the actually story! I'm a little confusted. Was there a time skip between ch 12 and ch 13? How old are these guys again if they have children already? *scratched head* The boys are learning medical ninjutsu, though. So exciting! I always liked medical ninjutsu.

Rasengan verses chidori again! Heheh. They should be careful. ;)

Author's Response: Yeah I guess there has to be a timeskip huh? I really don't like the fact that they are at the age to have children and yet this is taking place during shippuden. I love their spirits as 16/17/18 year olds but I guess I have to make them 28 or so... I was 13 when I wrote this so I wasnt great at planning and what not :/

I really like the script way of writing. It's refreshing. But this is a pretty big time skip from the prologue, huh? Just skipping the gennin arc, huh? XP I like the dynamics between Shizake and Nitatchi.

Author's Response: It's different isnt it? Yeah haha I didnt really wanna tell you guys the story you already knew. Maybe there wouldve been a couple of twists here and there but idk.