Membership status: Member
Member since: 24/02/07
Kimimaro is pretty
I write because my imagination is overactive, and I like it that way.
I have a fictionpress site.
Read some of my stories there, I promise you they are good.
I also have a fanfiction.net!
I write Death Note fanfics there!!
If you would like me to be a beta-reader for you, just ask!
I'm 18 years young.
I'm very much in love with music
I play guitar, bass and piano.
I'm very much in love with the "bad guys"
Itachi is my favorite character in Naruto. Mhm!
My favorite pairing is Itachi x Deidara. : D
ATTENTION: I know I update very slowly. I'm working on two novels at the same time and I advise no one to ever do that! My stories are still being updated and I'm very sorry to those I beta for...I know I'm taking years. But I've not given up on you.
Rated: [Reviews - 25]
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Top Pairings > Sasuke and Naruto, Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance
Chapters: 7 | Completed: No | Word count: 19292 | Read count: 5573 [Report This]
Published: 18/09/06 | Updated: 22/05/07
Date: 24/03/07 Title: Chapter 6: Spinning
I pretty much love how the Kakashi and Iruka scene went. That honestly did make my day.
Rated: [Reviews - 18]
YOOSH! ONCE AGAIN I UPDATED THIS STORY, AND NOW I HAVE FINISHED ALL THE CHAPTERS!! PLEASE ENJOY THIS UPDATED STORY!!
ALL THE CHAPTERS ARE DONE AND COMPLETED! SAA, ENJOY!!
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance, Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Top Pairings > Itachi and Naruto, Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Top Pairings > Sasuke and Naruto
Chapters: 21 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 74682 | Read count: 16860 [Report This]
Published: 21/09/06 | Updated: 21/03/07
Date: 24/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: Prolog
I like where the story is going (yeah new reader) but you change tense and use some adjectives wrong. But I still like the story!
Author's Response: Eeh? There are still grammar error? Okashii...I thought I have fixed them. Ok, don\'t worry. I\'ll try to fix then again, so don\'t worry. Thank you for the review!!
Date: 24/02/07 Title: Chapter 2: The Mission
Still a few grammar problems but it's not too bad. I like how everyone is so determined to help each other out. It's sweet.
Author's Response: Kyaaah, you must be so expert in grammar!! You see, English id not my first language, so i can\'t help it. Maybe you want to be my beta reader? I will send the story on your mail address and you fix my grammars and then please post it back to me and I will post it to Tonfa. How do you think?
Date: 24/02/07 Title: Chapter 3: Akatsuki's Strike!!
what does "sweat dropped" mean? usually it means the literal actoin of sweat dripping of someone. but you used it in the context that it may should have been "relieved" not sure though but I still like this story anyways !
Author's Response: Aah, you see. It\'s in Anime if there\'s a sweat (big sweat) drops from the head o the character when he or see saw something stupid in front of his/her eyes. So...it\'s to express the silent language of \'stupid\' for the other *grins* Isn\'t that interesting?
Date: 24/02/07 Title: Chapter 4: His Nightmare
Is it wrong that I find Orochimaru sexy? haha
Author's Response: No, he\'s indeed sexy with his villain character. I like him in various kind ways too actually. Especially if you need a villain charracter with sexy appearance. It\'s indeed Orochimaru and ITACHI!!
Date: 22/03/07 Title: Chapter 5: The Barter
I haven't read this chapter yet but I will after I finish writing this. Yeah I'm an English nutcase basically because I enjoy being smart in two subjects: History and English. Everything else...I'm extremely stupid. So I'd love to be your beta reader if you still want me to. I had a very long break away from TONFA because I ironically had an English term paper to do. And the reason I'm getting back to you in a review is because I've basically forgotten if there is a private messaging system like there is on fictionpress or if it's just find the person's email and WHEE kind of thing. Wow, now that I've written a novel in your review area...I'll go back to reading. : )
Author's Response: Ah, I have waited you for so long, Usagi-chan! Thanks for the review! I hope you can finish your paper well and of course I would like you to be my beta reader. From now on, when I finish one chapter, I will send it to you via email, and then please check and fix if I have some grammar mistakes! Thank you very much!!
Date: 24/03/07 Title: Chapter 6: Meet Me; and Say Good Bye
HAHAHA! He kissed everyone. And I love it how after all that trouble the village had to go through to keep Naruto away from Akatsuki...he still went with them. Irony=amazing.
Soo random question does the "contact" link send an email to an author? (I'm still trying to get used to this site...on fictionpress its like straightforward)
Author's Response: Yaay! You read again! Thanks for the review! Yes, Naruto still go, but don\'t worry, it\'s not that bad you know. You will get if if you keep reading! About the \"contact\", I think it is a link to send email to author. I\'ve only once used it though...because the author I contacted didn\'t contact me back, so I simply use review to say something to him or her.
Date: 31/03/07 Title: Chapter 7: It's Akatsuki!!
i think past tense is better for writing 3rd person stories. 1st person stories it can go either way but its much easier to use past tense. I'm a sucker for past tense because it sounds more like a story and its easier to put in description (to me) it's whatever is easier for you
Author's Response: Ok, then...maybe past tense will be better. However, I\'m still confused because the rule of description is it has to be in simple present tense. So...I use both of past tense to show what the character is doing and present tense to describe place and features. How does it sound like? Is it better that way?
Date: 26/03/07 Title: Chapter 7: It's Akatsuki!!
...this is going to sound mean...but this had the most incorrect English grammar of all your chapters so far. AH! I'm sorry!!! I like your story!!! But I'll try to explain what I'm talking about. Coz' is used as "internet slang" for "because" or "cause." "Cause (in writing stories poems...whatever you feel like writing) is the correct form because it is semi-formal. I think you said "cares" but I think you meant "caress" like to softly rub someones face or any part of the body gently in a term of affection or sexual attraction. Like caressing a face. Something along those lines. I'm in love with Itachi...and you kept switching tense. But I still like your story!!! And now I feel bad about what I just said...so I'll say something GOOD! I love Itachi! Eh...already said that. I think Sasuke in a dress would be pretty freaking funny. : D
Author's Response: Thank you very much for this. Ah, about \'coz\' thing, I used it on purpose, of course I know it\'s semi formal. I will never write that way in my formal assignment. Yeah, about the \'caresses\' thing. You\'re right about it!! It was switched when I write it!! Ah, about switching tense...I still haven\'t gotten the basic to write story or novel. I sometimes confused if I have to use past tense or present tense. Which one do you think better?
Date: 05/04/07 Title: Chapter 7: It's Akatsuki!!
yeah i actually do that too! description is usually in present tense because its technially "immortal" in writing.
Author's Response: Well then, thank you. Now I will do that in my story. I will use present tense to describe something and used past tense to show what the characters do. Thank you very much. You helped me a lot. I\'m really glad!! ^_^
Date: 07/04/07 Title: Chapter 7: It's Akatsuki!!
YAY!!! I love helping people! and im sorry i keep reviewing on this one. i havent read the other one yet cause i just got on spring break and my cousins are visiting from another state. but ill read it tomorrow! cause they're leaving
Author's Response: It\'s ok. I like your reviews because they\'re building up my skills in writing!! Thank you very much! It\'s really helpful!! Oh, you\'ll read tomorrow? Then tell me if something wrongs and I have to fix, k? Thanks!!
Date: 10/04/07 Title: Chapter 8: Akatsuki's Life
this one has some problems also. ill just state the new problems i found. when you're describing something there are easier ways to describe embarassment faces like instead of saying "still in his embarrassment face" you could say "blushing like crazy...or mad or strongly..." something like that. and also there are the usual problems of switching tense. now something good...i really really really really really really love itachi and deidara, i think if they ever got paired up...id probably die of like love/lust. haha OH! that gives me an idea! YAY ME! (why am i so insane?)
Author's Response: Hum...I\'ll take notes at that! Thanks. Oh, Itachi/Deidara...? kind of interesting!! I would like to make some of them later, maybe...(^_^)
Date: 10/04/07 Title: Chapter 8: Akatsuki's Life
ah!!! i forgot something!!! also there were a few words that are one worded that you turn into two words. like himself and nowhere
Author's Response: Well, recently I\'ve just got that knowledge from my English course. Thanks for that!
Date: 10/04/07 Title: Chapter 8: Akatsuki's Life
OH! god im so stupid...never write a review before having finished the chapter you are writing the review on...cause then you get a million little reviews because you feel like you havent said enough cause something new keeps coming up. well, you need to work on your sentence structures in general. some of them i couldnt even understand. and part two of this FINAL! review for this chapter cause ive already written a million and three
I loved the interaction with Naruto and Itachi. I like how you created Itachi as not an evil person but just someone who was troubled. It makes me happy cause he's my favorite character haha
Author's Response: It\'s ok, it\'s ok!! I don\'t mind at all (XDD!!) I love the way you review me anyway...it\'s really helpful!! I\'m so sorry if my lack of skill troubled you when you\'re reading, really I regretted that. That\'s why I need to study harder and harder, so I can make good stories! Oh, and yes, I love Itachi too...that\'s why I\'m so upset because Kisimoto-sensei makes him evil person (T_T). Anyway, I am really appreciate your review in my story! Thank you very much!!
Date: 11/04/07 Title: Chapter 9: Lose His Memories!
and so this time i read everything through, and now i forget what i was going to critique you on!!! *cries* You know Naruto can't have Itachi. Itachi is mine. *pulls Itachi out of nowhere with chains on wrists and ankles* see see!! uhmmm im kind of crazy today. i just posted up an Itachi x Deidara story!!!! They have so become my favorite pairing.(you should read it...if only you ever have the time. im not forcing you. so you dont have to.) haha Ok im going to skim over the chapter and find some errors. There are just some sentences that their structure is a little off. I'm going to try to find one or two. Here's one! "Why does Naruto become so strange?" It would flow better if it said "Why has Naruto become so strange" and here is a mistake that is sooooooo minor but can get annoying if your readers have English as their first language or even second; depending on how good they are. "...he answered with cold-expressionless voice." it's a tiny mistake like really really really tiny but before cold there should be an "a" and cold-expressionless should be cold, expressionless or cold and expressionless. So I hope I'm helping you out, cause I don't want to just be a burden or an annoying reviewer...if you want me to beta for any of your new stories you can send me them by my email. it's firstname.lastname@example.org
Author's Response: Waaaah, thank you very much!! It\'s really helpful!! Well, you really do a good job to review!! I really like all of your reviews!! Thanks!! Ok, if I have time I\'ll read it and of course I would like you to be my beta-reader. From now on I\'ll try to send email for you before posting new chapter in my story.
Date: 28/04/07 Title: Chapter 10: Family Love
...i've been away tooooooooooooooo long, i still havent read this chapter and i feel bad cause i actually totally forgot that i was a writer and a reader, ive been watching fruits basket non stop for almost forever it feels like. i will read this chapter and give you a good review for it by tomorrow!! cause i miss reviewing you haha
Author's Response: Ok then, I\'ll wait for your review!
Rated: 15 [Reviews - 2]
Category: General Fiction
Chapters: 6 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 22818 | Read count: 4121 [Report This]
Published: 05/11/06 | Updated: 20/03/08
Date: 27/03/07 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 3
... : (
poor Itachi. I really, really like this story. At first it was slightly confusing but I've gotten the hang of it. : )
But still...poor Itachi.
Date: 31/03/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 4
ah! you cant stop there! this story is really good and i hope you havent given up on it
Rated: R18 [Reviews - 119]
Sasuke will bear his child...
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Top Pairings > Itachi and Sasuke
Genres: Angst, Graphic lemon, Horror, Romance, Tragedy
Chapters: 11 | Completed: No | Word count: 28353 | Read count: 12863 [Report This]
Published: 07/12/06 | Updated: 07/05/08
Date: 24/03/07 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Visit from a madman
Rated: 15 [Reviews - 9]
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance, Het Romance > Top Six Pairs > Naruto and Hinata
Chapters: 7 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 36181 | Read count: 6424 [Report This]
Published: 31/12/06 | Updated: 20/03/08
Date: 26/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: Some Things to think About...
Very interesting! You have all my favorite parings in here! This is well done.
Rated: U [Reviews - 153]
~Now Taking Requests on Fandoms~
~Author May Disappear at Times for She is Either on the Run or Has Been Hospitalized~
Category: MadFic > Other
Challenges: What Not To Say In Front Of A Narutard...
Challenge: What Not To Say In Front Of A Narutard...
Chapters: 25 | Completed: No | Word count: 5952 | Read count: 15336 [Report This]
Published: 11/01/07 | Updated: 09/05/07
Date: 11/04/07 Title: Chapter 6: Itachi Fandom
HAHAHA! to the one with what he and Kakashi really did.
God I'm a sadistic perv.
Itachi is so my favorite
Author's Response: *highfivees* Sadistic pervs are the best kind xD
Rated: [Reviews - 4]
(this has to nothing to do with potato salad. i just like potatoes.)
Category: Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance, Shonen-ai/Yaoi Romance > Top Pairings > Itachi and Sasuke
Chapters: 4 | Completed: No | Word count: 3291 | Read count: 4086 [Report This]
Published: 20/03/07 | Updated: 05/03/08
Date: 01/05/07 Title: Chapter 3: Shika-Peek-a/Sasuke's blog
that honestly was extremely hysterical, "cum dumpster" Oh geeze
Author's Response: there\'ll be more...eventually.. bah, i\'m too lazy to type
Rated: [Reviews - 16]
Category: Alternate Universe & Crossovers
Chapters: 4 | Completed: No | Word count: 2623 | Read count: 2482 [Report This]
Published: 23/03/07 | Updated: 11/04/07
Date: 11/04/07 Title: Chapter 2: The Meeting, The First Death
....that reminded me of Saw III, there was a part at the end where some similar limb ripping thing happened and i walked out of the room i was so scared.
im going to pee myself after im finished with this
Date: 11/04/07 Title: Chapter 4: A Death Note
I peed myself. (not really) and now im not going to be able to sleep tonight.
Don't kill Itachi. haha
Rated: U [Reviews - 34]
Characters: Sasuke Uchiha
Chapters: 1 | Completed: Yes | Word count: 719 | Read count: 2463 [Report This]
Published: 01/04/07 | Updated: 01/04/07
Date: 10/04/07 Title: Chapter 1: Fanfiction
that's funny as pie.
...pie? hmmmm ok. it was pretty freaking amazing
Author's Response: Thank you! So glad you liked it! Pie? Where? I want pie! Thanks for reading and reviewing! With much love, A Vampires Butterfly ^.^