Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Naruto franchise
It was a glorious day in the village hidden in the leaves known as Konohagakure no Sato, The children were in the street yelling and playing, the women were out shopping and gossiping while the men were laughing and generally being happy.
It would have been a usual idyllic day if it was not for the sudden screech of irritation emanating from one of the Ninja training grounds.
“Argh, Damn it Asuma-Sensei why don’t you make these slackers train harder, I seem to be to only one training at all on this team anyway, hell you don’t even train us that much, all you seem to want to do is smoke and daydream about Kurenai-Sensei” Ino Yamanaka, the only female of Team 10 screamed at their sensei Asuma Sarutobi causing the portly member of team 10 Choji Akamichi to choke on the chips he was munching on because of his laughing.
“What are you laughing at chuckles” she said turning her pissed off visage towards Choji “All you ever want to do is eat chips and daydream about Bar-B-Que, put down the Kami forsaken chips for once and maybe you’ll get a date once in a while”
Well this just seemed to tickle Shikamaru Nara, which was proven by his slight snicker, which also had the effect of turning his fiery tempered teammate onto himself.
“Oh ho ho ho don’t get me started on you mister “All I Want To Do Is Look At Clouds and Say Mendokusai” get the hell off your lazy ass and train too” she huffed.
“I mean sheesh, am I the only one that actually trains out here everyday, I mean c’mon” She then screamed in severe frustration.
“ARGHHHHH”
“Screw it I am going home today I will see you later and hope you want to actually do something tomorrow”
When she stormed off like that, Choji and Shikamaru turned around, intent on walking home. before they made it even a few steps they saw their other Academy Delinquent partner, Naruto Uzumaki, walking towards them.
“Hey Shika, Hey Choji, I thought I heard Ino so I followed the Screech to see what all the trouble was” he said to the two.
“Mendokusai, but yeah she was yelling at us for not having a great interest in training. I swear to kami, when she yells like that she sounds just like a banshee” Shikamaru said to him, causing Naruto’s eyes to look like they were about to pop out of his head.
“Holy Crap, Shika answer me this, A Banshee is a type of demon right” Shikamaru nodded his head although he had a confused look on his face “well if that’s so, then have you ever noticed that if you spell INO backwards you get ONI”
With impossibly wide eyes Shikamaru and Choji looked at each other, then looked at Naruto, then back at each other and proceeded to laugh so hard that they fell on the ground with tears practically pooling down their eyes.
“Oh man Naruto, only someone like you could and would think of that” said a wheezing Shikamaru only once he was able to get his breathing under some semblance of control again.
“Yeah Naruto I would have never thought of that, but you had better not let Ino hear you say that ‘cause you know how she would act” said Choji, causing the three boys to shiver at the last part.
“Hear Naruto say what” spoke a scarily familiar voice behind them.
With wide eyes and sweat pouring off of them the three slowly turned around to reveal Ino standing in front of them with her hands on her hips and an impatient look on her face.
“And here I only returned to get the Kunai that I forgot and instead I find out that you three were back here talking about me behind my back” she said in huff.
This had the effect of making them sweat even more.
“Well I am waiting, what is Naruto not supposed to let me hear him say” she said.
“umm, well, eh eh, NOM NOM NOM” in an effort to save himself Choji opted to just stuff his face full of chips, which left only Shikamaru and Naruto to explain to the irate Kunoichi.
‘Lucky bastard’ though Naruto and Shikamaru at the same time.
“STILL WAITING” she screeched making all the boys to cower in fear.
“well, umm, Ino, you see, umm Naruto will tell you, won’t you Naruto” said Shikamaru looking at Naruto in one part fear (fear that he just buried one of his best friends) and one part hope (hope that Naruto lived up to his nickname as the “Most Surprising Number On Knuckle Head Ninja”).
Naruto threw the most evil glare that he could at Shikamaru in hopes that it would make him somehow spontaneously combust.
Since that did not work he was forced to turn his gaze back to the suddenly 10foot (he would swear to this day that she was that big) and irate Yamanaka Heiress.
Now most people would never rely on Naruto in a situation this delicate but Shikamaru and Choji were not most and thus knew that Naruto was good at thinking on his feet (even better then Shikamaru though Shikamaru would never admit it) so they put their lives in his hands.
So being that thinking on his feet was one of Naruto’s strong points he came up with what he though was the best thing to say.
“Well Ino, I don’t know how to tell you this but I overheard Sakura-chan talking to someone about how she had come up with the best way to win Sasuke’s heart and to beat you once and for all”
“WHAT!!!” screeched Ino causing nearby wildlife to flee, unfortunately one unlucky sparrow got caught in the screeches sound waves and it’s poor little heart exploded.
“Oh Kami, thank you for telling me that Naruto” she yelled over her shoulder “Got to get to Sasuke-kun before forehead does” and with those parting words Ino Yamanaka left the training ground behind along with three very relieved young men.
As the three watched her run off Shikamaru and Choji both looked at each other then with a nod both gave Naruto a hug expelling their thanks to him.
“Oh thank you Naruto you saved our lives man” they both said.
With his trademark foxy grin plastered to his face and his hand scratching the back of his head he responded.
“Heh, no problem guys, now lets get out of here before she realizes that I lied to her”
“Good idea Naruto, I know I would not want to be around when she finds out” said Choji through a mouthful of chips.
“Yeah, and besides, I need to get home anyway or else kaa-san will yell at me and it’s just too troublesome to hear that” Shika complained.
Naruto just scratched the back of his head and grinned.
“Okay, well I’ll see you guys tomorrow “ he said. Then he turned to leave the field and head to Ichiraku Ramen not knowing that he was in a lot of trouble when a certain platinum blonde found out about his little deception.
Only a short ways away, Ino Yamanaka was running to her Rival/Friend Sakura Haruno's house in hopes of finding out the secret when suddenly she remembered she saw Sakura this morning when she was at her parent’ flower shop. ‘If Sakura had found the secret why would she not gloat right then and there’ she thought to her self.
With that thought in mind, Ino Yamanaka went to Sakura's house to interro.. ask her about it.
As she arrived at the door to Sakura's house she knocked on the door and stepped back waiting for someone to come and answer it. She did not have to wait long as only a few moments later did the door open to reveal Sakura's mother.
“Oh, hello Ino dear, how are you?” she questioned.
“I’m fine Mrs. Haruno, is Sakura home by any chance?”
“Yes she is, just give me a second and I will call her for you” she told her. Then she turned around and looked up the stairs and shouted “ Sakura, Ino is here to see you” she then looked back at Ino when she heard her daughter tell her that she would be right down. “she’ll be down in a moment dear just wait on the porch”.
“Thanks Mrs. Haruno”
Ino then sat on the steps and waited for Sakura to come outside . luckily she did not have to wait long ‘cause after only a few minutes Sakura opened the door and came outside shutting it behind her.
“Hey Ino, what did you want to see me for, or wait; maybe you finally came to your senses and realized that you just aren’t good enough for Sasuke-kun and that you admit that I, Sakura Haruno, Kunoichi Extraordinaire and Unrivaled Beauty am the better choice” she boasted.
“Pfft, as if Forehead, geez, full of your self much. No I just came by find out if what I heard is true”
“Well, Bunta, what did you hear” Sakura asked.
“That you somehow found a guaranteed way to win Sasuke-kun’s heart”
“Well, even if I did find a way, why in Kami's name would I tell you, we are rival’s in love, remember”
“Damnit, I’ve been tricked” she swore while looking towards the training ground she came from. “Looks like I’ve got an idiot to bash” she said while looking towards Ichiraku Ramen. She then looked back at Sakura “Sorry Forehead but I gotta go, talk to you later”.
Sakura for her part just nodded with an immensely confused expression plastered on her face ‘well that was awfully random, oh well’ she thought. With that she went back into her house to dream about her and Sasuke-kun’s inevitable (to her anyway) wedding.
Meanwhile, at Ichiraku Ramen, a miracle was occurring. The bottomless pit with abhorrent table manners known as Naruto Uzumaki was doing something he had never done before he started to eat slowly, thus causing the owner Teuchi to look at him and ask “Wow Naruto, I’ve never seen you eat that slowly before, what’s the occasion”
“I don’t know Ossan, I just got this weird feeling, that somehow this was going to be my last meal”
“Really Naruto” he said, his eyes flickering to the front curtain before looking back at Naruto and asking “hey Naruto, could it have anything to do with a girl you might have made angry recently”
“ Maybe, but I don’t know how it’s possible that Ino could find out that I called her a demon banshee; I mean she was not even anywhere near the training field when I mentioned it to the guys” he said with a confused expression on his face.
So into his musings he was, that he did not feel the killing intent from behind him.
“But Ossan, why would you ask that question” he said looking at Teuchi.
“Uhh” he was definitely nervous ‘how can this kid be so clueless as to not sense the killing intent this girl is giving off’ he thought “Well, Naruto, first answer me this, does this Ino girl like to wear purple” he received a nod “does she have long blond hair” ‘nother nod “Does she have blue eyes” he asked dreading the answer.
“Yup, hey Ossan how do you know all that” Naruto asked amazed by that, as he’d never saw Ino here.
Instead of answering verbally Teuchi just pointed over Naruto's shoulder causing Naruto to look over his shoulder (with a noodle hanging out of his mouth mind you, his manners really are poor) and lo and behold he saw one extremely irate Ino Yamanaka.
Cue dinner plate eyes and landing pad mouth.
“na na na na na NANI!!!!” he screamed “Holy crap, she’s going to kill me”
With that Naruto took off at a speed that would have the Yondaime turning green.
“NARUTOOOOOO” this was screamed so loud and so full of malice, that the Shukaku was quivering inside his vessel.
In Sunagakure, If one were to be around they would see a young redhead cowering in a corner holding his head and wondering why his mother was screaming at him to never piss women off, especially Kunoichi.
“Help me, I’m going to DIEEEEE” he said while running to the Hokage’s office and cowering behind him.
Sarutobi for his part had heard the scream of Naruto’s name and wondered what had happened. “Now Naruto it cant be that bad” he said hoping to calm him some “Yes it is Jiji…I,I, I called Ino a Demon Banshee”
At this Sarutobi’s eyes widened to impossible proportions
“Naruto my boy, It was nice knowing you” he said sadly causing Naruto to look at him knowingly and give the Hokage a hug.
It was this scene that the irate princess walked into.
“You can not hide behind the Hokage Naruto I will get you back for what you said. Because of you I am now forced to show a technique I have been saving for my most hated enemies. Lucky you get to be the first.
She then said four words that would soon be known as the most dangerous in the would even more dangerous than Naruto’s Harem Jutsu
“Ino Hijutsu: Banshi Ueiru”
And with that Ino Yamanaka became to only female to ever create a SSS rank jutsu, one that could do the impossible, make every male of every species (even summons) cower in fear and beg for there lives.
~The End~