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Unassisted Suicide by LazyJounin

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Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto.

A few years ago, you swore that you would never consider suicide. This vow had come about as a result of what is now known as the Uchiha Massacre; your best friend’s brother had slaughtered everyone in the family but his Sasuke, who was with you at the time, and then killed himself. You had seen the pain Sasuke went through because of it, and realized that you never wanted anyone to hurt like that because of you.

Things are different now, though. Your parents had died when some bastard bombed the local church; you had forced yourself not to grieve too much. Acting sulky made you feel selfish, because many other people lost loved ones that day and they had to move on with their lives. What would make you any different?

Sasuke had grown distant after the massacre. At some point, you had lost him as a friend; you still didn’t know exactly how. You still hung out with a few people, but you couldn’t really call them close friends. Sakura, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji; you always felt like they never took you seriously about anything, and that prevented you from really getting to know them. An almost physically painful sense of loneliness had consumed you.

Your custody had gone to your drunk pervert of an uncle, Jiraiya, who spent most of his time away from home. Away from you. This week, he was gone on business.

So, last night, you had shoved the end of Dad’s old pistol in your mouth. You had closed your eyes and sat there for several long minutes before you managed to pull the trigger. Instead of a resounding boom and the sound of your brains hitting the wall, a small click had echoed far louder than any gunshot could, and you knew right then that you couldn’t go through with it. You had thrown the gun down and cried. Eventually, you fell asleep in the large king-size bed that your parents had laid in just one year ago.

The next morning - this morning - a plan came to you. The first thing you did was slip Dad’s pistol into your backpack with your books. Then you fished your old orange jumpsuit out of your closet, which you hadn’t worn since your parents died, and put it on. Following that, you brushed your teeth and hair, ate breakfast, and headed off to school. You didn’t think at all as you walked, focusing on the world around you. A haze had muffled your senses, and all the colors seemed dulled. You were preoccupied trying to get rid of the strange feeling until you walked through the big double-doors of the school building and into the main hall.

You made a bee-line to the cafeteria, where all of the students would be waiting for the bell to signal the beginning of classes. After you pushed through the pair of heavy doors in your way and felt your ears be assaulted by the sounds of a hundred teenage voices, you leaned up against the wall and looked out over your peers. You spotted several people you knew, all sitting together at a table on the left side of the cafeteria. There were a lot of people you recognized, but couldn’t put names to. Finally, your eyes settled on a meek looking girl in a grey jacket. Unbidden, the name Hyuuga Hinata came to the forefront of your mind, and you made a decision.

Your strong, decisive steps draw many pairs of eyes to you, but you don’t mind; you need as many people noticing you as possible right now. You eventually stop behind the girl, Hinata, and she looks up at you with a curious blush across her face. You quirk an eyebrow at her before you slide your backpack off your shoulders and open the zipper.

You stick your hand inside and grip the pistol, then pause for a second. The haze that has held you since you woke up is torn away, and you realize with crystal clarity what you’re about to do. You take in Hinata’s wide, pale eyes and the blush that runs across her pretty face; for just that one second, you consider turning and walking away. Then a small smile graces your lips, and you yank the gun out of your backpack and hold it so she’s staring down the barrel. You tilt your head to the side and you ask, “Have you ever been a hostage before, Hinata-san?”
Chapter end notes: The next chapter will be up soon. In the meantime, please tell me what you think.
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